


Life After You

by tricia_16



Series: The Place Where I Belong [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby Sign Language, Bottom Dean, Communication, Domestic Fluff, Gay Sex, Kid Fic, M/M, Speech Delay, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-04-17 23:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 125,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14200392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricia_16/pseuds/tricia_16
Summary: This is a continuation of the storyStart of Something Good, so make sure you read that first!Three months ago, Castiel was a single parent with so much baggage he never thought anybody would take the time to wade their way through it and into his heart again. Now, Dean is unofficially living with him and Claire, and it's so easy he finds himself wondering if maybe it'stooeasy. Can Dean give him and Claire the kind of family he's always wanted but never really thought he'd get to have, or is it actually too good to be true?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My amazing beta from the first part of this series wanted to stick with me, so please send your love to [Becky](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkmink/pseuds/Pinkmink) for continuing to make my writing so much better <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  ♫ All that I'm after is a life full of laughter  
> As long as I'm laughing with you.  
> And I think that all that still matters is love ever after.  
> After the life we've been through.  
> 'Cause I know there's no life after you. ♫
> 
>  
> 
> [](https://i.imgur.com/Eh1kxvA.jpg)

Castiel wakes up slowly, only realizing that he’s alone in bed once he rolls over to see what time it is. 9:37. He feels a smile spread on his face even as he shakes his head. Dean has to stop letting him sleep in like this. He’s beginning to get used to it, and he knows he really shouldn’t.

He indulges in a long, lazy stretch before he gets up, smiling and blushing when his thighs ache from the way he rode Dean last night. When his morning erection takes an interest in the thought, he quickly and resolutely decides not to linger over the extremely satisfying memory. Knowing it’s too late now to go out for breakfast, he throws a t-shirt on and sneaks his way across the hall to use the bathroom and brush his teeth.

Another thing he’s finding himself getting used to: the opportunity to have even five minutes to himself first thing in the morning. After being alone for so long, he knows what a luxury it is to be able to get ready for the day without being in a rush so that Claire doesn’t interrupt him or get into something she shouldn’t. Now he and Dean do it together, taking turns getting themselves and Claire ready so somebody is always there to keep an eye on her. He wonders briefly if Dean’s had a chance to brush his own teeth yet and feels guilty about taking the time to do it before checking in on them both.

He opens the bathroom door to Claire standing there with a purple and white polka dotted dress on that he’s never seen before, and a matching bow in her hair - which is done up in a high ponytail. His heart sings when he realizes Dean has finally figured out how to get a ponytail to stay in Claire’s hair. He makes a mental note to praise him for it, knowing how hard he’s been working on it.

He briefly flashes back to a few weeks ago when they were at Mary’s house for family dinner. After he’d helped her wash the dishes, he came into the living room to see Sam sitting on the floor at Dean's feet - scowling - as Jess walked Dean through gathering Sam’s hair and putting a hair tie in it correctly.

If he didn’t already know he was in love with Dean, that would have cinched it. His fondness for Jess and Sam had grown exponentially at that point, as well, and he and Mary had stood there for a while together in stunned silence before Sam finally noticed them. It was amusing to see the look of horror on Sam’s face when he saw them, and that had been enough to stop the tears he was in danger of spilling. He heard Mary sniffle next to him as her hand rested gently on his shoulder and he knew she was in the same boat. She must be so proud of the men she’s raised.

He snaps back into the present when Claire says, “Da! Uh!”

“Of course I’ll pick you up, Claire Bear. You’re the prettiest girl in the whole world, do you know that?” Claire reaches for her bow and Castiel nods his head encouragingly. “Yes, pretty hair _and_ a pretty dress.” He leans in to kiss her on the cheek, making a loud smacking noise as he does it to make her laugh. “Pretty face. But why are you all dressed up?”

“Morning, sunshine,” Dean says from the end of the hall. Castiel is already smiling when he looks up, but his smile grows larger when he sees Dean is dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans and a purple short-sleeved dress shirt that matches Claire’s dress perfectly. He’s always gorgeous, but he looks especially breathtaking this morning. He will never understand how he lucked out enough to get this man to fall in love with him.

“You two make a very pretty picture. And I’m suddenly feeling very underdressed,” Castiel admits, which makes Dean smile at him with the little crinkles on the sides of his eyes. It’s his favorite Dean smile, and as usual, he feels his heart skip a beat just seeing it.

“You look pretty good to me,” Dean answers, and his cheeks tinge a delightful shade of pink, likely due to the “corny” compliment. “Come on and eat your breakfast while it’s warm.”

Castiel begins to walk down the hall towards the dining room. “You made me breakfast? If that’s my punishment for oversleeping and causing us to miss our weekly arrangement, I’m not sure that’s the best way to go.” He stops short when he reaches the table and sees it covered by a white tablecloth with a small basket spilling over with purple and white flowers on the center of the table. “What’s going on?” he asks again.

Dean just smiles wide and pulls his chair out for him. Now that he’s stopped walking, Claire wiggles down and walks back into the living room, so Castiel takes the seat Dean’s offered him.

“Drink your coffee and I’ll grab your breakfast outta the oven,” Dean says, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek before he spins and disappears. Castiel looks down and sees there’s already coffee in his mug, sweetened exactly the way he likes it if the color of the coffee is anything to go by. He takes a sip greedily, hoping maybe when it kicks in a bit he’ll clue into what exactly is going on here.

Dean swoops in behind him and sets a fluffy waffle down in front of him with a side of bacon and fresh cut fruit on a separate plate. When Castiel looks up at him, he holds one finger up, then turns back around and comes back with two small bowls of what looks like homemade strawberry topping and whipped cream.

He knows his mouth is hanging open unattractively. Dean always treats him so well, but this is an extravagant breakfast even for him and he knows it must have taken a great deal of time, especially with having to keep an eye on Claire while he prepared everything. Dean takes a seat next to him, smiles shyly and says, “Happy Father’s Day, Cas.”

Castiel feels his heart swell almost painfully in his chest, and a quiet gasp escapes him. He knew Father’s Day was today, but likely because he isn’t fully awake yet, he had completely forgotten until now. “Dean. You didn’t have to do this.”

“Wanted to. You know you’re the best dad in the world. Least I could do.”

Castiel shakes his head. He’s completely overwhelmed. Nobody has ever done anything for him on Father’s Day before. Last year he was alone at the time, and obviously Claire was way too young to show any appreciation at all. He honestly never expected Dean to do anything today, but he should have known better.

“Thank you,” Castiel says. It comes out slightly breathless, and he knows Dean knows what this means to him.

Dean winks at him and says, “Dig in.”

He wonders idly if a day will ever come when Dean winking at him like that won’t make his heart skitter in his chest, but he sincerely doubts it. He spoons some strawberries on top of his waffle and adds a dollop of whipped cream, then cuts off a piece and stuffs it into his mouth. It’s a challenge, and he can feel the whipped cream catch on the corners of his mouth, but he’s too distracted by the absolutely perfect symphony of flavors in his mouth to worry about that. He rolls his eyes back into his head to convey his pleasure and hears Dean chuckle beside him. He swallows and licks the whipped cream off of his mouth before he says, “These are delicious.”

“Claire thought so, too.”

Castiel frowns. “That’s a lot of sugar first thing in the morning.”

“Hey man, she likes what she likes,” Dean responds with a small shrug. “She was covered in strawberries by the time she was done. Thought I was gonna mess up the pretty picture she was supposed to make in the dress and everything ‘cause her face was gonna be stained red. But it came off.”

“Good thing you didn’t use blueberries,” Castiel says knowingingly.

“Yeah? Good to know.”

“It’s a beautiful dress, Dean. But you didn’t have to buy her a dress just for today,” Castiel tells him.

“It was my first time in The Children’s Place,” Dean explains, and Castiel bobs his head with understanding. He remembers going in there for the first time as well. It’s an explosion of bows and glitter and everything else adorable.

“I’m surprised that’s all you came out with,” Castiel comments. Dean looks away and Castiel knows he’s doing it purposely. “Dean,” he scolds him.

“Okay, there _may_ be a bag full of shit stuffed under the bed. But I couldn’t help it! Everything was so cute and I knew Claire would look adorable in all of it! You would’ve done the same thing!” he defends.

The truth is, he can rarely afford to buy name brand clothing for Claire because it’s so expensive. The thought of how much money _a bag full of shit_ would have cost Dean makes his stomach twist uncomfortably.

“You aren’t responsible for providing her clothing,” Castiel says gently, careful to express he doesn’t mind that he did it, just that he doesn’t need to.

Dean shrugs. “I noticed some of her shirts have started showing her belly, and like I said, I couldn’t help it. Besides, now she’s got a bunch of new stuff to wear for the summer _and_ I get to see her in all the cute stuff I bought.”

Castiel has been scouring Craigslist for second hand clothing for Claire for the summer, but he hadn’t had any luck yet. Depending on what Dean’s already purchased, that could actually be a big weight off of his shoulders.

“Thank you, then. We both appreciate it.”

They sit there in an easy silence, Castiel eating his waffle and Dean drinking his coffee, until Claire comes over with two trains in hand. Already knowing where this is going, Castiel continues to eat.

“Dee? Ch-ch-ch,” Claire says.

“Claire wants to play trains?” Dean asks.

Claire hands Dean one of the trains and signs,  _Yes_.

“Okay, go get the tracks and I’ll be right there,” Dean promises, and her face lights up before she turns back around and runs over to the bucket of train tracks.

Dean stands and walks towards Cas, framing his hands in his face before bending to catch his lips in a soft and sweet kiss. Castiel hums into it, thinking about how he could happily kiss Dean for days. He’s sure he’ll never get used to the way he makes butterflies flutter in his stomach. He opens his mouth to him, inviting him in to deepen the connection, and Dean takes the opportunity eagerly. His hands thread back into Castiel’s hair, and Castiel hears another small sound of happiness escape into Dean’s mouth. Dean wrenches away suddenly, startling him until he looks down and sees Claire trying to climb up Dean’s leg.

They both laugh a little at her insistence and Dean says playfully, “Okay, okay, I’m comin’, jeez.” He looks at Castiel and says, “Love you,” before he scoops Claire up and throws her over his shoulder as he walks towards the living room, only holding her by her ankles as he goes.

Dean gets a surprised laugh from Claire, but Castiel’s stomach lurches at the sight. He knows Dean would never purposely drop her, but he also knows how wiggly she can be, and he doesn’t breathe easy until she’s back on the floor safe and sound. He finishes his waffle and stands to bring his dishes to the kitchen. The dishwasher is already mostly loaded, so he puts his plate and cutlery inside, and goes back to grab the bowls off of the table to scrape out what little remains inside of them before he adds them to the dishwasher as well and turns it on.

“Hey!” Castiel hears from the living room. “You better not be cleaning up in there! You’re off duty today.”

Castiel rolls his eyes while he gets himself a refill of coffee, and then carries his mug into the living room to watch Dean and Claire play. “I just loaded the dishwasher,” he explains.

“Nope. No more of that. You get to be treated like royalty today,” Dean tells him.

“You always treat me like royalty,” Castiel reminds him.

“That’s a lie, but I’ll take it,” Dean says with a grin. Claire stops moving the multiple trains she has connected to rub at her eyes and Dean nods towards her with his head, letting Castiel know he noticed too.

“Are you sleepy, pumpkin?” Castiel asks her.

Claire shakes her head no, but ends it on a yawn, which makes Castiel laugh a little. She’s so cute.

Dean says, “Hey, come here for a second, blondie,” and motions her closer. Claire seems to debate, but ultimately gets up and walks over to him. Dean whispers something in her ear that makes her eyes light up, and then she takes off down the hall in an uncoordinated run.

“We’ll be right back,” Dean promises, getting up much more slowly than Claire did, to follow after her.

Obviously Dean’s up to something, but he doesn’t know what, so he waits patiently on the couch.

Claire comes back out with what looks like a homemade card in her hand, dragging a gift bag behind her. Dean winces as it falls over and makes a loud _thump_ and rattle on the floor but Claire keeps going like nothing even happened. Castiel tries to stifle his laughter but ends up with a way-too-big smile on his face that he knows is giving him away.

“Shut up,” Dean says playfully. “Give the card to Daddy, Claire,” Dean prompts her. She walks over and hands the card out to Castiel. “I know she can’t say it, but she’s clearly thinking, _Happy Father’s Day, Daddy_ ,” Dean says for her, which makes Castiel smile again.

He looks down at the card in his hands and sees two of Claire’s handprints on the front with the words “Hands Down” written in Dean’s writing. He opens the card to see the sentence finished with, “Best Da Ever.” And a small note saying, “Happy Father’s Day! I love you so much! Love Claire, 2018.”

His throat is clogging up but Dean and Claire are both looking at him expectantly, so he swallows down the lump and looks at Claire first. “Are these Claire’s hands?” he asks her, his voice coming out tighter than usual. Claire places her hands on top of the prints, beaming up at him. “You did such a good job, baby. Daddy loves it. Thank you!” He pulls her in for a hug, melting when she drops her head on his shoulder the way she usually does. When she pushes away a second later, he leans in for a quick kiss, which she returns with minimal slobber. “Thank you for helping,” he says to Dean next.

Dean shrugs away his thoughtfulness the way he always does. “The daycare did it. I was just there bugging Claire when they started and hung around to see her in action. Probably wouldn’t have thought of a card if they didn’t.”

“I doubt that,” Castiel responds.

“Give Da the present, Claire,” Dean urges her. She tugs on the strings of the gift bag but doesn’t seem to be able to lift it. “Actually, maybe you better just take it before she breaks it more,” Dean tells Castiel.

“Good idea,” Castiel agrees, taking it from her hands and placing it on his lap. It’s actually much heavier than he expected it to be.

“Open it,” Dean says.

Castiel plunges his hand inside and pulls out a few sheets of tissue paper, which he hands to Claire. She starts waving them around excitedly and Castiel watches her for a second or two before he reaches into the bag and pulls out quite a large jar. He sees that it’s filled with candy - Reese’s Pieces if the orange, yellow, and brown pieces are anything to go by - then he turns it until he sees the label.

 _Happy Father's Day!_  
_We love you to pieces!_  
_Love, Claire and Dean_

Castiel lets out a small laugh before he looks up to see Dean with his hand on the back of his neck, blushing furiously. Could he possibly love this man any more? “This is adorable. Thank you, Dean. Thank you, Claire,” he adds.

 _Eat_ , Claire signs, pointing to the jar.

Castiel chuckles. “Not right now. Maybe after lunch, okay?”

Claire looks up at Dean and tries again. _Eat? Please?_

This time they both laugh. Claire is a smart girl to know Dean’s the one to go to in order to get candy. “Don’t you think we ate enough this morning?” Dean asks her.

Castiel shoots him a look of annoyance and Dean shrugs unapologetically. “They kept fallin’ outta the jar. Couldn’t give you the ones that had already fallen on the floor.”

“So you fed them to my baby?”

Dean snickers. “ _Fed_ them to her? Yeah, right. She was like a Hungry Hippo on her hands and knees waiting for them to fall. Woulda liked to see you try to get to them before she did.”

Castiel laughs at the picture Dean has so eloquently painted and once again, lets Dean get away with giving his daughter sweets when he would prefer he didn’t. He knows it’s a losing battle anyway, and honestly, there haven’t exactly been any adverse effects so far.

Claire rubs her eyes again and Dean squats down. “Ready for a nap?”

Claire shakes her head no.

“Wanna go see your bunny?” Dean tries, and this time Claire nods and walks to his open arms. “I’ll put her down and I’ll be right back.”

“Make sure to -”

“Take her bow off before she goes to bed,” Dean finishes for him, and Castiel feels his face flush. He really needs to stop assuming Dean doesn’t know this stuff. He’s proved that he does more times than he hasn’t.

“Sorry. Habit,” Castiel replies, but Dean just shoots him a smile over his shoulder, and Castiel reminds himself how lucky he is that Dean’s so easy going.

It isn’t until one shared shower, two orgasms, and a light lunch has passed that Castiel tells Dean to stay put with Claire and goes into their bedroom.

He hadn’t thought twice about getting Dean something for Father’s Day as well. Dean does just as much with Claire as he does these days, and although they’ve only been dating for a few months, he knows they both hope this lasts. If it does, Dean really will be Claire’s dad, and he wants to celebrate that.

So he had gotten him two things. One from him and one from Claire. He feels fairly certain that Dean will like them both, but there’s still nerves twisting in his stomach as he goes to his dresser and pulls out the gifts from the bottom drawer. What if this is too much for Dean? What if he doesn’t feel like Claire’s dad as much as Castiel thinks of him that way? He tries not to feel self conscious when he walks back out to the living room.

Dean sees him with two gifts in his hands and his eyes go wide.

Castiel clears his throat when he sits down next to him. “I know you’re not technically Claire’s dad, but you do all of the same things with her as I do, and I wanted to celebrate you today, too.”

Dean stares at him, his mouth opening and closing a few times, before he finally responds, “Cas, no. It’s so not even the same. This is _your_ day, not mine.”

“Come here, Claire,” Castiel says, completely ignoring Dean’s protest. “Do you want to give Dee the card you made?”

“Caaaas,” Dean whines, but when Claire comes over and takes the card to hand to him, he takes it with a, “Thanks, sweetie.”

Castiel watches his face closely when he reads the front of it. He tries not to feel embarrassed that it’s the same kind of idea as the card Dean gave him, telling himself he had no way to know that.

There’s a footprint of Claire’s on the front of the card with the three simple words, “You stepped in,” written beside it, and “Thank you,” on the inside decorated with a bunch of scribbles from Claire.

“Cas,” Dean whispers, his eyes already misting over.

“You know it’s true,” Castiel replies.

Dean shakes his head, wiping the back of his hand over his eyes and sniffling. “The gifts better not make blubber more than this.”

Castiel wisely chooses not to say anything.

He lets Claire hand him the first gift. “This one is from Claire,” he says.

Dean opens it up and throws his head back laughing. [It’s a plain white t-shirt on the front, but the back has a train track on it.](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4QzV55s1YCA/UoJ8oEK2gYI/AAAAAAAAGQ4/gu27TjF4VgI/s1600/_MG_7855.jpg)

“The idea is that you can lay on the floor and she can drive the trains on your back,” Castiel explains. “You can play trains anywhere so long as we have one with us.”

“Yeah, I get it. It’s freakin’ awesome. She’s gonna love it, and I do, too. Thanks Cas.”

“This one’s from me,” he says, handing him the second gift.

“You got me more than I got you,” Dean complains with a frown.

“That’s not true. You bought Claire a dress, yourself a shirt, the flowers on the table, everything for the waffles, the jar _and_ the candy,” Castiel points out.

“Yeah, but -”

“Dean, sweetheart, please just accept this gift. I wanted to do this for you to thank you,” Castiel tells him as earnestly as he can. “I promise it didn’t cost much money.”

Dean sighs heavily and holds his hand out wordlessly for his second gift. Castiel leans across the space between them to kiss him on the cheek. “I love you,” he reminds him.

“Yeah, yeah. You _would_ try to spoil me on the one day I’m tryin’ to spoil you,” Dean grumbles, but Castiel can tell that he isn’t really mad at all. He’s only acting that way and cracking jokes to try to deflect how touched he is that he’s done this for him. Dean rips the paper open and turns the frame he bought him face up.

He put one of the pictures he took of Dean and Claire coming down the slide at McDonald’s in it, and had the frame engraved. It says, “You didn’t give her the gift of life, but life gave her the gift of you.”

Dean barely chokes out, “Son of a bitch,” before he abruptly stands up and walks a few paces away. Claire takes the shirt he left on the couch and works on laying it flat before she starts driving her trains across it, making her _ch-ch-ch_ sound as she goes. Castiel is frozen in place. Was it too much? Did he finally cross a line and go too far? Did he insult Dean in some way by pointing out that he wasn’t the one who brought Claire to life?

Dean is still walking towards the wall and back, alternating between looking up and the sky and looking down at the ground shaking his head. Since Claire is playing happily with the shirt, he places the frame on the table and gets up to try to see if he can fix this.

He places his hand on Dean’s shoulder, which causes Dean to jump, but he stops moving. So Castiel says, “Dean - I’m sorry. I don’t know if I insulted you or if I put too much pressure on you, or perhaps if I was too presumptuous -”

Dean exhales a shaky breath. “It’s none of that, Cas. C’mon, man.”

That doesn’t help matters in the least. “I - I don’t know what to say. May I hold you?”

Dean shakes his head and Castiel feels his heart fall to the floor as he drops his hand. Dean doesn’t want to touch him. He can’t even remember this ever happening before. He must have really done something terrible.

“I understand. I’m truly sorry for hurting you. I understand if you need some space, but I’ll be here whenever -”

“What?” Dean says, finally whirling around to face him. Castiel sees his eyes are red rimmed and there are tear tracks down his face. He made him cry. He feels _awful_. “I don’t want you to hold me ‘cause I know I’m gonna start fucking sobbing if you do. I ain’t mad at you, honey.”

Castiel squints his eyes, trying to make sense of what’s happening. “Then why...?”

“I love it, okay? I love that you even thought of me at all today when it shoulda been your day, and this might be the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole damn life.”

Castiel tilts his head to the side, still not completely getting it. Because Dean is _saying_ he’s happy but he’s actually radiating anger. “I’m sorry, Dean, I’m just not following.”

Dean tilts his head back up to the sky, and if he didn’t know that Dean wasn’t a praying man, that’s what he would think he’s doing. “I love her, Cas.”

“I know you do,” Castiel says quietly.

“No, you don’t get it. I _love_ her. Not like how people just love kids automatically because they’re cute and innocent. Not like the other daycare workers love her. Not like I love her because she’s an extension of you. I love her like... I’d die for her. I’d take a bullet for her without a fucking thought. When she cries because she’s hurt or sick it - it literally hurts inside of me.” He’s clutching at his chest and there’s no doubt in Castiel’s mind that he means what he says. He knows the feeling well himself, and is surprised but not unhappy that Dean feels the same things. “I love her like she’s mine. And I know she’s not, but I do anyway, and I’ve been tryin’ not to say it for a long time because I don’t want you to think that it’s too soon - or that I think it’s the same as how you love her, or - or that I’m some kind of crazy idiot who doesn’t have a fucking clue about how it actually feels to be a parent - or -”

“Dean, stop,” Castiel says firmly, trying to calm him down because he’s choking on his words, tears are streaming down his face again, and he already knows these things he’s saying. Dean obviously thought he didn’t, but he does.

“No, I need to say it. I need you to know how - how desperately I want what you said on that damn frame to be true. How I wanna be everything she needs in a dad. How freaking thrilled I am thinking that this could be the first of another 60 Father’s Days for us.” He can’t even get the words out in one shot. They come out broken as more tears stream down his face, and this time Castiel moves without asking and cups his face in his hands, wiping away his tears even as more fall. “Because I want to be her dad so damn bad, Cas. You have no idea.” Dean squeezes his eyes closed then exhales shakily with, “Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Castiel repeats, thrown again.

“It’s too fast - it’s only been a couple of months and I’m over here acting like -”

“You have seen Claire every day for the last… hundred days,” Castiel says, doing a quick estimate in his head. “I would be upset if you didn’t love her. And obviously you thought I didn’t already know how deeply that love goes, but sweetheart, I know. I can see it when you look at her. The way you are with her when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I know you love her like she’s yours, Dean. And it makes me happier than I can explain.”

“You knew?”

Castiel nods his head, wiping Dean’s tears once again now that it seems like he’s done crying. “It’s exactly what I never thought I’d find in a partner. But every single day you prove to me again that somebody who didn’t make her can actually stay, and that’s why I want you to celebrate Father’s Day with me by my side. Because a really big part of me hopes that one day Claire will be yours as much as she’s mine.”

“Shit,” Dean expels on another shaky breath. “I love you so damn much.”

He pulls Dean into his arms, resting Dean’s head on his chest, and just holds on. He can hear Dean’s breath still shuddering in and out as he tries to keep it together, and he runs his hand up and down his back in a soothing gesture. “The feeling is mutual, I assure you. I know Claire can’t tell you, but we both love you and appreciate you so much, Dean. Our lives are so much better because you’re in them. So, _so_ much better.”

“I thought you were tryin’ to make me  _stop_ crying,” Dean says, muffled into his chest.

Castiel laughs and turns his head to kiss his temple. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I take it back.”

“‘M sorry if I ruined all this for you,” Dean says, seriously this time.

“You didn’t. This morning was perfect, and though you didn’t react exactly the way I had pictured, you were touched by the gift and that’s what I was going for.”

“Little less touching would be great for the next time,” Dean says, pulling away and obviously forcing a smile.

“There’s something I never thought I’d hear you say,” Castiel teases, and Dean smiles for real this time before he slides his hands around his waist and leans in to peck Castiel on the lips. Castiel’s arms go around his neck instinctively and he brushes his thumbs through the short hair at the back of his neck.

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

“A few hundred times, but it’s nowhere close to getting old,” Castiel answers.

“Here’s hoping it never does,” Dean replies, and leans in to press their lips together again.

After lunch, they spend an hour at the park with Claire, which is undoubtedly her favorite place. He and Dean take turns pushing her on the swings, going down the slides, and taking pictures of each other with Claire - and then one of just him and Dean, much to Dean’s dismay. Honestly, as much as he does like having his picture taken with Dean (who _wouldn’t_ want their picture taken with him?) he asks more often just because it seems to fluster him so much. Plus, he’s exceptionally beautiful when he blushes.

While he sits on the bench watching Dean and Claire playing peek-a-boo around the play structure he lets his mind drift back to Father’s Day last year, when he was alone with a seven month old after leaving Arthur a few months previous. It was absolutely miserable. He was scared, he was alone, Claire was going through a phase where she was waking multiple times a night, and he was so far past exhausted he’s sure looking back he was only existing by sheer force of will.

He never in his wildest dreams would have thought that only a year later he would have found the answer to everything he’s ever dared to pray for in the form of one green-eyed Dean Winchester. He didn’t know for certain until he saw him on the stretcher that horrible day that he was _it_ for him - that Dean is the one he was always meant to be with - but he knows now, and he can’t even begin to imagine his life without Dean in it. He knows with an intensity that even scares himself sometimes that he would fight with everything he has in order to keep him.

Dean _and_ Claire make up his family now, and he’s never more sure than when he sees him with Claire the way he is currently - with Claire’s eyes lit up, and Dean smiling at her with a softness in his expression he can see from all the way across the park.

He knows he will never forget this day - his first Father’s Day with Claire _and_ Dean - for as long as he lives.

Once Claire goes down for her afternoon nap a little later, he and Dean finish folding and putting away the laundry, then make lunches for work tomorrow before they curl up on the couch together. Dean grabs his guitar and plucks at the strings lightly with his feet in Castiel’s lap, while Castiel picks up his place in his current read-through of the Harry Potter series. He’s on The Prisoner of Azkaban, and Hermione and Harry are back in time trying to rescue Sirius Black while dragging Buckbeak along with them.

“Read it to me,” Dean asks him without even looking up from his fingers on the neck of his guitar.

Cas has plenty of practice reading aloud from working in the library, and this isn’t the first time he’s done this for Dean. When Dean was still recovering from his concussion - the second one - he would read to him occasionally whenever he would complain of a headache and Castiel knew it was from his eyes working too hard.

Being with Dean is so easy, and he’s filled with a mixture of happiness and _completion_ that he’s only ever felt with him. So, of course, he gives into Dean’s request and starts the story where he left it. His lips quirk when Dean sets the tempo of whatever song he’s currently playing to the pace of his words. Dean’s as familiar with Harry Potter as he is, so it’s no surprise to him when he twangs the guitar and plays dramatic sounding chords in all the right places. That doesn’t mean he can hold in his laughter, though. Dean’s timing is impeccable and his facial expressions only add to his humor, and soon Castiel is smiling so big his cheeks hurt.

He thinks for the hundredth time that the children would eat Dean up for a Saturday morning story time or sing-along at the library. Claire certainly does whenever he plays or reads for her, though of course Claire’s almost as biased as he is when it comes to her Dee. He pushes the thought away as he usually does, knowing he has it in his back pocket for the day he hopefully has a little bit more pull at the library.

“Hey Cas?” Dean asks suddenly. Castiel looks up from the book and makes eye contact with his boyfriend. He’s stopped playing the guitar but his fingers still dance over it nervously. “I was thinkin’ - what do you think about putting Claire in swimming lessons when the next session opens up?”

He's honestly never thought about it. “Swimming lessons for a one year old?”

“Well, I mean, it’s more like getting the kids used to the water and playing games and stuff, but you know how she is in the tub. She’s like a pig in shit. Thought she might get a kick outta the pool. But it’s no big deal if you think it’s a stupid idea.”

Dean’s absolutely right. Claire _does_ love being in the water and there’s no reason he can think of why they shouldn’t at least give this a chance. Except... “How much do swimming lessons cost?” Castiel asks.

“A membership is only something like twenty-five bucks a month for a kid, but you wouldn’t even have to pay that. I know a guy,” Dean teases him. “I could get you in.”

Castiel smiles at how Dean’s always trying to take care of them. “I appreciate you using your influence for us, but even I can afford twenty-five dollars a month. When does the next session start?”

“Dunno off the top of my head, but I’ll let Jo know to sign her up when it opens. First thing Saturday morning probably works best for our schedule, right?”

 _Our schedule_. His heart sings at how easily these things flow from Dean’s mouth these days. “Yes, before morning nap would be ideal.”

“She’ll be out like a light after. Still happens to Bentley. Anytime he goes swimming he just passes right out. Most of the time he doesn’t even make it home,” Dean tells him. “And you know, if you were okay with it or whatever, I could even take her on my own. If you don’t mind. You could do groceries or just stay at home and hang out for an hour by yourself. If you want.”

Considering Dean has now said some variation of _if you want_ three times in one thought, he knows it’s not only what _Dean_ wants, but that he’s also nervous about mentioning it and at the possibility of being denied. Castiel couldn’t possibly begrudge him for wanting to spend more time with Claire one-on-one.

“I would definitely want to see a lesson or two, but an hour to myself every week sounds heavenly,” he admits.

“Awesome,” Dean grins, his big smile telling Castiel exactly how happy this has made him. “Consider it done.”

Once Claire wakes up, Castiel gets her back into the purple dress she was wearing this morning, knowing Mary and Jess will love seeing her in it as much as he does. He doesn’t usually dress up for Sunday dinner at Mary’s anymore, but since he has a crisp white dress shirt that will match both Claire and Dean perfectly, he goes to change into it. When he comes out of their bedroom Dean rakes his eyes up and down his body hungrily and Castiel can feel heat beginning to creep across his cheeks.

“Hot damn, Cas,” Dean comments, stalking towards him like he wants to eat him alive. “Wanna be _my_ Daddy later?”

Castiel can hardly resist a full body shudder. “Congratulations, you’ve finally found something to say that completely turns me off - even while looking at me like that.”

Dean snorts. “Not gonna lie, I felt kinda gross saying it. But it was the only Father’s Day come on that came to mind.”

“You would have done better to just kiss me. I believe history shows that works ten out of ten times.”

“Mmm, I’ll remember that later,” Dean says, shooting him a sexy smile.

Terrible joke and all, he still can’t resist grabbing Dean by the collar of his shirt and hauling him in for a quick kiss before they go scoop up Claire and walk down to the Impala.

Mary fusses over the three of them when they arrive as if she’s never seen them a day in her life, and much to his amusement, she insists on picture after picture of them outside in front of her garden. Dean moans and groans half heartedly, but Castiel knows he isn’t the only one who can see through the bluster to the way his chest puffed up when Mary said how it was his first Father’s Day and she didn’t want to hear another peep out of him.

Castiel goes from slightly annoyed at Dean’s, “What’s for supper, ma?” to touched when Mary responds.

“Greek salad for Sam, pizza for Castiel, and apple pie for Dean. All three of my boys’ favorite foods for Father’s Day,” she says proudly. _All three of my boys_ is enough to make a lump form in his throat, but luckily Jess breaks the tension a split second later.

“Thankfully they all go together,” she says with a smile. “Would’ve been weird to have spaghetti, fish, and scrambled eggs or something.”

Dean huffs out a laugh. “That was random.”

“Just sayin’!” Jess laughs with a sassy shrug.

“Before I forget to mention it, Jess, Dean got Claire’s hair up in a ponytail this morning. It even stayed in through both naps,” Castiel says proudly.

“Hell yeah, I did. Bribed her with a couple of gummy bears to get her to stay still and she didn’t move a muscle,” Dean says. “Worked like a charm.”

Castiel arches an eyebrow at the comment about the candy and suddenly Dean’s very busy picking at invisible lint on his pant leg. He really is adorable, even when he’s a pain in the ass.

“That reminds _me_! What did you think about your gift?” Jess asks him.

“I was extremely pleased. I honestly didn’t expect anything, but Dean not only got my gift, he also bought flowers, let me sleep in, made waffles and strawberries for breakfast, and bought himself and Claire their matching outfits. I was very spoiled.”

“Deserve it,” Dean insists, finding Castiel’s hand to link their fingers together.

“What did you get for Dean?” Jess asks.

“A -”

“I actually took a picture,” Dean interrupts him, digging in his pocket for his phone. Castiel can feel the small smile on his lips. Obviously, despite Dean’s earlier reservations, he _is_ happy with the things Castiel purchased for him. Everybody laughs at the shirt Castiel bought, which pleases them both, and then Dean flushes when he shows them a photo of the frame while Jess, Mary, and Sam all burst out in a chorus of _awwww_.

As red as Dean’s face is, he still looks exceptionally pleased with himself, and Castiel doesn’t miss the way his eyes go to Claire and don’t seem to be able to leave her right away.

He loves him _so much_.

Once they’re all done eating, he joins Sam and Dean outside on Mary’s back porch for a celebratory shot. Apparently this is something Dean’s been doing for Sam with a stupidly expensive bottle of whisky every year since Bentley was born, and now that both Dean and Castiel are celebrating too, Sam insists the three of them each have a shot.

“I don’t know that I’ve ever had a shot of whisky on a Sunday evening,” Castiel comments, swirling the amber liquid around in his glass.

Sam can’t hide his smile. “How’d _you_ ever end up with a guy like Dean?”

“I ask myself that all the time,” Castiel answers, which Sam makes gagging noises at and Dean eggs him on further by batting his eyelashes at his brother.

“Seriously though, can you believe this?” Sam asks once Dean finally stops. “A year ago I never thought I’d have to share this with you and your live-in boyfriend because you all but adopted his kid.”

He and Dean both freeze. Those are two subjects they have both been carefully tiptoeing around - never _ever_ mentioning the word adoption or how they still only _kind of_ live together.

“I’m really happy for you, man,” Sam says in Dean’s direction, which only makes both of their faces burn. “You guys are great together, and you’re both really great dads to Claire.” He seems to flounder for a second looking between the two of them, and then says to Castiel, “Shit. It’s okay that I said that, right?”

“Jesus Christ, Sam. One sip of whisky and you’re blabbing like a teenager at a sleepover,” Dean gripes, one hand rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.

“Yes, it’s okay that you said that. _I’m_ not quite ready to start introducing Dean to people as Claire’s dad yet, but he knows I think of him in that way and that it’s my dream for us to get there,” Castiel answers, hoping that doesn’t insult Dean in any way. “Besides, he’s still yet to change a dirty diaper. I don’t think he gets the title until he’s conquered that particular milestone,” Castiel adds, hoping that will help move the conversation forwards.

“Uh, hello! I did too change a shitty diaper!” Dean insists.

“Please,” Castiel scoffs. “That doesn’t count.”

“Screw you, Cas! I had to wipe an ass that doesn’t belong to me, it totally fucking counts!”

“It was one turd that came out so clean it barely even needed to be wiped,” Castiel argues.

“One turd?” Sam butts in with. “I’m with Cas. You gotta change one where the shit goes all the way up her back for it to really count.”

Castiel chuckles, remembering times just like that and imagining Dean's reaction to the mess. “I’m hoping those days are behind us. Well, with Claire anyway,” he adds, then flushes quickly when he hears what just came out of his mouth.

Sam catches his eye knowingly but thankfully Dean’s too distracted by the subject matter to pick up on what he said. “Up her back!? How does that even happen? Gravity doesn’t even work that way!”

“When the diaper’s full and there’s no more room to go down, it has to go somewhere,” Sam answers, causing Castiel to laugh and Dean to make dramatic retching sounds.

“And to think I used to think my big brother was so tough,” Sam teases him.

“I could still kick your ass, Sammy,” Dean insists.

“Just not wipe it,” Sam replies, and all three of them laugh.

“Man. Can you believe my life right now? Standing outside talking about diapers and baby shit,” Dean muses. But he can see the content look on Dean's face and thinks he kind of looks like he’s actually right where he wants to be.

Sam obviously reads him the same way as Castiel does, because he slaps Dean on the back (maybe a _little_ too hard to be entirely friendly) and says, “You know you love it.”

Dean’s bright green eyes lock onto Castiel’s, and he has a sideways smile on his face when he responds, “I really do.”


	2. Chapter 2

It’s a beautiful day at the end of July - or least that’s what Castiel’s customers at the library kept telling him this morning. He’s on his lunch now, and frowning as he scrolls through his online bank account, trying to figure out why he has several hundred dollars more in his account than he should. He’s no less confused when he realizes that his automatic payment to Winchester's for daycare didn’t come out of his account.

He picks up his phone to call the customer service number, knowing exactly who he’s about to get on the other end.

“Good afternoon and thank you for calling Winchester’s. This is Jessica speaking, how can I direct your call?”

“Hi Jess, it’s Castiel.”

“Hey Castiel! What’s up? Is everything okay?” Jess asks, her voice going from warm and friendly to concerned in a second.

“Yes, everything’s fine. I was calling to see if there was a problem processing my payment for childcare this month?” His face flushes red as he asks, hoping there wasn’t insufficient funds when the payment was due to come out. He’s sure there wasn’t, but how embarrassing would it be to have to admit to Dean’s family just how tight his finances are?

Jess sounds more than a little bit amused when she says, “Nope. No problem on our end.”

“Oh. I suppose I’ll call the bank then,” he comments.

“You know who you should talk to before you talk to the bank? Dean. And while you’re at it, give him a slap upside the back of the head for me, will you?” she says, her voice still laden with laughter.

“Dean?” he repeats in confusion. “What does Dean have to do with it?”

“He’s actually in his office right now having lunch. Just hang on a sec and I’ll put you through to him, okay?”

“Thank you, Jess.”

“Dean Winchester speaking. How can I help you?” Dean’s voice comes through the phone sounding lower and more formal than how he’s used to hearing him speak.

“That’s a bit of a loaded question, don’t you think?” Castiel answers, smiling.

“Only now that I know it’s you,” Dean says, sounding more like himself. “Is everything okay?”

He supposes that’s a fair question from Dean, too, since he’s never called him at work even once in the four and a half months they’ve been together. “Everything’s fine. I actually called to speak with Jessica -”

“- Oh sure, I see how it is. I’m your second choice, huh?”

“No, not at all. This is slightly embarrassing to bring up, but my daycare payment didn’t come out of my bank account this month, and I called to see if there was a problem processing the payment. She directed my call to you,” Castiel explains.

He can hear Dean exhale loudly. “Was kinda hoping we could do this in person, you know. You check your bank account every day or somethin’?”

He does actually, just to make sure he has enough money in his account for everything that’s supposed to come out. “Most of the time, yes. What were you hoping to do in person, Dean?”

“You know I love you and everything, right?” Dean says, and because he _knows_ Dean and knows he uses that to try to get on his good side, it automatically puts his back up.

“Dean...” he says on an exasperated sigh.

“Come on, Cas! You love me, and I love you _and_ Claire. We’ve been basically living together for more than two months, and you said we’re like a team, right?” Castiel doesn’t answer, knowing he’s about to be led into a trap. “Well, Sam and Jess don’t pay daycare for Bentley, and if we’re really doing this like I hope we are then I don’t think you should have to pay for Claire anymore, either.”

“It’s hardly comparable! Sam and Jess _co-own_ the gym with you,” Castiel points out.

“Yeah, so?” Castiel rolls his eyes at the juvenile response. “They’re okay with it, mom’s okay with it, and as one of the co-owners, I know that what you pay us for Claire isn’t gonna make or break us. I’d rather you have the money than take it from you.”

He feels his anger slowly disappearing, because how can he be mad at that? “Why didn’t you say anything to me before now?”

“I wanted to talk to everybody else about it first, and I didn’t want to say anything to you before in case they said no. And I didn’t know it was gonna come outta your account right away. I thought it would probably be at the beginning of the month. I thought I had time. I didn’t mean to go behind your back or anything.”

Castiel feels his lips turn up into a small smile. “I know you didn’t. I don’t know how I feel about this, though, Dean. It feels like I’m taking advantage of our relationship for monetary compensation.”

“Please,” Dean scoffs. “I know you’d never do that, and so does everybody else. Nobody even hesitated when I asked them, Cas. Not even for a second. Everybody considers you and Claire family.”

He feels happiness spread through him hearing that Dean’s family accepts him and Claire so completely. Not that he had any doubts about that or anything, but it still feels wonderful to hear it. The last few months spent with Dean without the threat of Arthur hanging over them has been absolute bliss. Admittedly, Dean struggled a little bit more than he expected him to with the aftermath, but even with Dean’s nightmares and paranoia, he had no idea he could be so happy with somebody. Himself, Dean, and Claire make the perfect little family he’s always dreamed about but had accepted he would never have.

Now he has to keep reminding himself not to move too quickly. Not to put too much on them now that everything’s going so well, and to stop thinking of Dean as Claire’s dad… although he’s struggled with that since Father’s Day. He’s waiting for the inevitable day it slips out accidentally and hopes he can get to a place where he feels comfortable having a conversation with Dean about it before that happens.

“Cas? That doesn’t freak you out or anything, does it? ‘Cause I didn’t mean -”

Castiel gives his head a slight shake, realizing his thoughts have gotten away from him again.

“My apologies, Dean. It most definitely doesn't freak me out, as I often think of your family as my family now as well. I’m afraid I don’t know what else to say to argue with you about the cost of daycare,” he responds finally.

“Tell me you’ll use the money I just saved you this month to go splurge on something you’ve wanted for a while but didn’t have the money for until now,” Dean prompts him.

Castiel can’t help the smile that spreads on his face. “That’s an incredibly irresponsible thing to do.”

“You’ve earned it. Please, Cas? You can be your responsible self again next month and save the money then.”

“You’re a terrible influence on me,” Castiel accuses him lightly.

“I know, that’s why you love me so much,” Dean teases.

“It definitely has something to do with it,” Castiel agrees. “Thank you, Dean. For looking out for us. Again.”

“That’s my job,” he answers quickly.

It’s not, but he knows Dean thinks of it that way. He looks down at the clock on his computer and sighs. “Speaking of jobs, I have to go back to work. I’ll see you and Claire when you get home.”

“You bet. Love you,” Dean replies.

“And I love you. Bye.”

He pushes his computer chair away from his desk and slouches down to rest his head back against the the headrest to indulge in a moment of pure happiness. What did he ever do to deserve such a kind, selfless, loving man to be a part of his life? He’s sure Dean has no idea what a difference having $800 freed up every month is going to make in his life. He can start saving for a downpayment on a house, and _finally_ he can start an education fund for Claire. All because of Dean.

With that thought in mind, and a smile he can’t wipe off his face, he starts planning as he gets back to work. The rest of the afternoon passes quickly, and after one stop on his way home, he pulls into the parking lot just after 4:40. He knows Dean’s going to be pulling in any minute, so he races upstairs to change into a t-shirt instead of his button down before he runs back downstairs and leans against his car while he waits for Dean.

He feels bad about the look of concern he gets from Dean when he pulls into his parking spot, but when he gets in the passenger seat and slides across it to capture his lips in a passionate albeit brief kiss, his frown is gone by the time he breaks away.

“Da!” Claire calls enthusiastically from the back seat.

“Hey, baby,” he says to her.

“What’re you doing?” Dean asks him, obviously still confused.

“Being irresponsible and splurging to take my two favorite people out for dinner tonight,” Castiel answers. He turns to face Claire, automatically smiling wider at the smile on her face. “Want to go have french fries for supper, Claire Bear?”

 _Please! Eat!_ she signs, and Castiel nods at her. “You got it. How do you feel about Olive Garden?” he asks Dean.

“Like I should run upstairs and change into pants with an elastic waist so I can eat my weight in bread sticks comfortably,” Dean says quickly, causing Castiel to laugh.

“Well, you don’t want to overindulge too much, or we won’t be able to enjoy my second surprise of the night when we get home,” Castiel warns him, giving Dean his best attempt at a teasing smile.

It must work, because Dean’s eyebrows shoot up and he waggles them in his direction before he backs up out of the parking lot. He knows what Dean’s thinking, and he’s way off - but he doesn’t have to know that.

As if Claire knows her dads are both in good moods, she behaves like the perfect child at dinner. She’s cute and funny, and has everybody at the surrounding tables enamored by her. He can’t even refuse the waitress when she asks if she can bring Claire a bowl of ice cream since she’s been such a good girl. Thankfully, Dean knows how reluctant he is to let Claire have sweets, and eats half of it for himself between feeding bites to Claire.

He’s just selfless like that, Dean reminds him with a smirk.

God, how he loves him.

When they return to their apartment, Dean bathes Claire and gets her into her pajamas while he warms up the pecan pie he picked up for Dean from Sugar Rush. Dean comes out of Claire’s bedroom and into the kitchen already sniffing the air with a huge grin on his face.

“Don’t tease me, Cas,” he says hopefully.

“I thought I’d treat the love of my life to his favorite pie,” Cas says, pulling him in by his t-shirt to kiss him quickly. “From his favorite bakery.”

Dean’s eyes go impossibly brighter. “You didn’t.”

“Oh, I did,” Cas assures him, opening the oven to pull out the pie.

“You bought me a whole pie from Sugar Rush!? Even I wouldn’t shell out that much cash for pie!”

“Well, somebody I know told me to splurge on something I’ve wanted for a while but didn’t have the money for.”

“I meant _for you_ ,” Dean tells him.

Cas looks at Dean holding Claire in his arms like she belongs there and softens his voice purposely to say, “I have everything I want already.”

“I love you, you sap,” Dean says, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“I love you, too. Why don’t you get Claire her milk while I slice this for us?”

 _Milk_ , Claire signs, apparently agreeing with the current plan.

“You got it, munchkin,” Dean tells her. He turns her upside down and pretends he’s going to set her down on her head, and Claire squeals before it turns into a trail of laughter while she shakes her head back and forth. “No?” Dean repeats, like he can’t understand why she’d be saying that. “What’s wrong? You don’t want me to put you down?” Claire’s laughing too hard to do anything but keep shaking her head, and then Dean widens his eyes dramatically and says, “Oh no! Did I accidentally almost put you down on your head? Silly Dean!” He turns her back the right way and crouches down to plant her feet on the floor with a smile so big it takes Castiel’s breath away. He completely understands when Claire puts her tiny hands on either side of Dean’s face and kisses him right on the lips. Her mouth is still open from laughing, and when Dean waits for her to turn back around to walk away before he grimaces and wipes her spit off his face Castiel knows he’s never been happier in his life.

“What’re you looking at me like that for?” Dean asks him straightening up. “I thought I was promised pie.”

“You - you have no idea how happy you make me,” he stumbles. “There aren’t even words, Dean.”

“Oh, stop bein’ so sappy,” Dean teases him, but he lights up from the compliment and Castiel knows how much he likes hearing he’s doing a good job of taking care of both him and Claire.

A few minutes later, they’re eating their pie on the couch with Claire curled up between them as she drinks her milk and watches Team UmiZoomi on Netflix. When all three of them are full, they put Claire to bed, and the second they close Claire’s door behind them, Castiel captures Dean’s lips in a passionate kiss, and starts walking him backwards towards their bedroom.

“Mmm, this is the best day ever,” Dean says happily as Castiel trails his lips down his face and back behind his ear to tease that spot he knows makes his knees go weak.

“I’m going to make it so much better,” Castiel promises, sliding his hands down Dean’s strong chest and around his waist to cup his ass in his hands.

“Please, Cas,” Dean begs, and Castiel feels his hardening cock twitch when he hears this strong, powerful man beg for him. He knows Dean purposely riles him up by begging for him when he’s in a particular mood, and he’s spurred on predictably.

“It’s going to be like that tonight?” Castiel asks him.

“Fuck, I hope so,” Dean admits, and that’s all he needs to hear to take this another step further.

He pulls Dean’s shirt up over his head and buries his face in the muscular curve of his neck, nipping and sucking tiny little marks into his soft skin. He feels Dean’s fingers already working on his fly, popping the button and dragging down the zipper on Castiel’s pants before he pushes them down his hips enough to free his cock.

Dean’s hand wraps around him expertly, and Castiel shudders at the feel of his calloused hand against his skin. He concentrates on stepping out of his pants so he doesn’t trip, and then tilts his head back to give Dean access to his throat while he strokes him perfectly.

“So good, Dean,” he praises him.

“Want you,” Dean whimpers.

“Take off your pants and get on the bed,” Castiel says, lowering his voice purposely so Dean knows he means business.

Dean gasps out a quiet, “ _Fuck,_ ” and follows his instructions quickly, his fingers trembling enough with what Castiel knows is anticipation that he struggles with his own fly. Castiel squares his own shoulders and levels him with a heavy gaze, not giving him the reprieve he knows he needs in order to get himself back together.

He loves the way Dean wants him. In only a few months, Dean’s bolstered his confidence so high that there’s not a single doubt in his mind about how much he’s attracted to him. He loves being absolutely certain he can make Dean lose his composure from desire and turn him into putty just by looking at him the right way. It’s only fair considering Dean can do the same to him.

He watches Dean’s truly spectacular back ripple with muscles as he crawls onto their bed - and for once - completely ignores the stack of pillows as he lays back on them. If that wasn’t enough of a tell for how bad he wants this, his cock is already tempting him by standing at attention.

“Grab the flavored lube,” Castiel instructs him. Dean lets out a needy little whimper as he leans over and finds it easily in the drawer. “Now use it to slick yourself up for me.”

“Shit,” Dean breathes, but does as he’s told.

Castiel fondles his own balls, rolling them in his palm while he watches his boyfriend take himself in his hand and start stroking his cock with a gasp. A blush has already spread all the way down Dean’s neck to his chest, which is heaving. He can hardly believe how arousing he is to look at.

“Tighten your fist,” Castiel instructs. He feels his own desire increase tenfold to see Dean follow his suggestion so quickly. “Don’t hold back those sexy noises you make, either.”

“Mmf,” Dean whines instantly. “Feels so good,” Dean admits, knowing Castiel doesn’t want him to break the eye contact they’re holding.

“What’re you thinking about?”

“You. Always you. How I want you to come over here and sink down on my cock,” Dean answers quickly.

Castiel spits on his hand a few times and starts stroking himself, too, not able to hold back after hearing Dean admit to that. “I’m thinking about the same thing, except how tight you’ll be when _you_ sink down on _my_ cock for the first time.”

“Oh fuck,” Dean gasps again, bucking his hips.

Castiel still hasn’t had his chance to be inside of Dean, but they’ve been working their way up to it with his fingers and his mouth, and he knows how badly Dean wants it now. It’s nothing compared to how desperate he himself is for it, but he won’t tell Dean that part because he doesn't want him to feel any pressure. He’s very careful about letting Dean know that he does want to be with him that way, that he thinks about it, but that he’s comfortable and capable of waiting until he’s completely ready.

He’s amused and aroused further when Dean’s face turns a deeper shade of red as his legs spread in invitation.

“You want my fingers, Dean?”

Dean whimpers in response, and Castiel can’t possibly stand at the side of the bed any longer. He climbs onto the mattress and reaches for a towel from the stack beside their bed. “Hands off,” he tells Dean, and Dean stops stroking himself immediately, both hands fisting in the bed sheets. “Lift your hips.” Dean does, and Castiel places the towel under his hips before he reaches for the lube to slick up his fingers. “How many fingers do you want?”

Dean bites down on his bottom lip, and Castiel is fascinated to see his face stay as red as he’s ever seen it. He warms the lube on his fingers while he waits him out. Several seconds later, Dean finally rasps, “Three.”

Castiel’s eyebrows shoot up and Dean’s eyes drop to his cock when it twitches with excitement. They’ve never gone further than two.

“So good for me, Dean. Always so good,” he praises him.

Without any further teasing, he lowers himself down between Dean’s legs and closes his mouth over the tip of his cock. Dean thrusts into the heat of his mouth and Castiel hums his permission for him to keep going. He hooks Dean’s legs up over his shoulders and runs his hand down the inside of his thigh before he starts teasing his waiting hole with his thumbs.

“Ah, fuck, yes,” Dean says enthusiastically.

Instead of giving into him right away though, he spreads his cheeks apart and pulls off of Dean’s cock to look his fill. Dean’s entire body has gone rigid and he knows he’s trying not to move in case it displeases him. Dean’s very, _very_ eager to be exactly what Castiel wants him to be in bed - and Castiel is more than willing to tell him how he fulfills his every fantasy. He slides one finger slippery with lube along his ass crack and watches Dean as his eyes slam closed.

“Please, Cas. Want you inside of me fucking now. _Please_!”

And, well, who is Castiel to deny him when he asks so nicely? He sucks his cock back into his mouth and pushes a single digit into the molten heat of his boyfriend, wiggling it around to help him get used to it.

“Cas! Cas, yeah, baby,” Dean groans.

Castiel smirks, knowing that particular endearment only comes out when Dean’s babbling because he can’t think straight. He sinks down further on his cock, sucking hard on the way back up and eliciting another string of curses from Dean. He slides his finger in and out, fucking him with it in time with his head bobbing up and down on his cock, trying hard not to think about how perfectly Dean’s ass clenches around his finger and how good that’s going to feel on his cock some day.

“Another one, Cas. More, please Cas. I can take it.”

Castiel opens his eyes to make eye contact with his boyfriend, feeling his heart lurch when he sees the way Dean’s looking at him. Even though he has his cock in his mouth and a finger up his ass, Dean still looks at him with softness and love in his eyes like he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

He’s reminded again how he never _ever_ feels cheap or dirty for indulging in the things he and Dean do together in bed. He knows he’s loved and cherished for more than this, and it makes it easy to lose himself in only pleasure and the demands of his body without having to worry about anything else, and he knows Dean feels the same.

Not wanting Dean to come too soon, he pulls off his cock and trails wet kisses down his shaft as he works in his second finger. He noses along the base of his cock, nipping a little bit the way he knows Dean likes, and moves his lips through his wiry pubic hair to the inside of his hip. He rotates his fingers, searching for his prostate, and sinks his teeth into his skin before he brushes his fingers over his sweet spot, knowing the bite will keep Dean from bucking forwards.

Dean rewards him with a low and dirty moan which makes Castiel thrust forward into air with the need for friction.

“You’re so beautiful, Dean,” Castiel praises him, kissing the teeth marks he just left on his skin before looking down at the way Dean’s ass is stretching around his fingers. He starts spreading his fingers as he slides them in and out of him, making sure to prod against his prostate every few seconds to keep him on the edge as he preps him for his third finger.

“You take me so well. You want it so badly.”

“I do - fuck - I want it, Cas. I want you inside of me. Think about it all the time,” Dean admits.

Castiel has to close his eyes as a wave of desire crashes into him so strongly he’s afraid he’ll be thrown over the edge without even being touched. He has to stop his mind from picturing how unbelievably hot Dean would look bent over for him.

“Soon, my love, soon,” he promises.

“Love you,” Dean says quietly. Castiel feels a small smile come to his lips as warmth fills him.

He sees Dean’s cock starting to form a trail of precum where it’s rubbing on his stomach and knows how turned on he is based on that alone. He stretches his fingers more deliberately, wanting to give Dean the three fingers he asked so nicely for before he comes, and within minutes he can feel that he’s ready.

“You want three fingers?” Castiel checks again.

“Please,” Dean answers, knowing that’s the magic word where Castiel is concerned.

Castiel grabs for the lube and adds a little bit more to his fingers to make sure there’s no pain, before he teases Dean by rubbing over and around his hole. “Fuck, Cas, just fucking -”

But Castiel cuts him off by thrusting all three fingers inside of him nice and slow. He watches as Dean opens around him, his rim worked to a beautiful bright pink now, his skin stretching tight around his fingers.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god.”

“You look unbelievable,” Castiel groans.

“Please, Cas. Fuck me.”

He knows he means with his fingers, but it doesn’t stop his arousal from curling dangerously tight in his stomach just from hearing him say those words.

“Does it hurt?” Castiel checks, shocked when he hears how rough his own voice is.

“Burns,” Dean confirms, but before Castiel can stop, he adds, “Burns so fucking good, _oh my god_. I’m so close, Cas.”

Castiel arches a brow at that even as he feels his mouth turn dry at the thought. He’s not even touching Dean’s cock right now...

“Can you come on my fingers?” Castiel rasps, turned on beyond belief at the idea.

“I - I dunno. I just - I need you to keep going. Keep going, please, please, _please_ keep going. Don’t stop,” Dean begs him.

Castiel starts pumping his fingers in and out of him with a new goal in mind, his own dick throbbing at the slick squelch of Dean’s ass sucking him in every time he pulls out. He purposely avoids his prostate, watching Dean’s face contort in a mixture of pleasure and frustration while he _just_ brushes past it over and over. Dean tries arching his back, moving his hips, and wriggling to make Castiel touch it but he holds him steady with his other hand.

“Cas, come on,” Dean pleads with him. But he doesn’t fight against his hold. “Please touch me, _please_. I can’t - I just - I need -”

Castiel has never seen him so desperate. His entire body is rigid and his fingers are clenched in the sheets.

“Pinch your nipples for me, Dean,” Castiel asks him, and a sob slips out of him when Dean’s fingers fly to his chest and he rolls his nipples between them.

“Fuck. _Please_!” Dean calls out again.

Castiel lowers his mouth to his balls, licking and sucking them as he draws another sob out of Dean. He sucks his loose skin into his mouth, tugging on his sack the tiniest little bit before he opens wide to take one of his testicles into his mouth. Then he drags his mouth lower, licking around the sensitive skin stretched around his fingers. He makes sure it’s nice and wet, tasting the fruity flavor of the lube, and when Dean cries out again sounding absolutely wrecked... he finally crooks his finger and presses against his prostate.

Dean’s whole body jerks as Castiel does it again and again. He licks a wet stripe along the delicate skin between Dean’s ass and balls until he circles the skin tight around his fingers, and the fourth time he hits Dean’s prostate, Dean actually _yells_. Castiel opens his eyes just in time to see Dean’s back bowed beautifully and his cock jerking as he blows his load all over his stomach and chest completely untouched.

Dean’s hands are tugging on his own hair like he doesn’t know what to do with them. Castiel finally releases his hip so Dean can move the way he needs to, and he fucks up into nothing as he continues to spill milky white cum all over himself.

“Holy fuck, Dean. I’ve never seen anything so fucking hot in my entire life. _Look at you_. My gorgeous, gorgeous, unbelievably perfect man. Look at you,” Castiel says reverently as he takes his cock into his hand and strokes him slowly through the rest of his orgasm. Dean’s entire body trembles with over stimulation, but still, he gives himself over to Castiel’s touch absolutely. “So beautiful,” Castiel says as he presses kisses to his body. Dean’s eyes are glued to his mouth so close to the mess he just made, so he licks up some of his cum only to feel Dean shudder beneath him. “So perfect, sweetheart. Unbelievable.”

Finally, when he’s milked him dry and kissed his way up his chest, Dean’s still trying to catch his breath with a satisfied smile on his lips. Knowing Dean’s nowhere near ready to help him out with his own raging hard-on, he straddles his hips and knee walks up to his mouth. Dean’s mouth is still hanging open with the need to take in air, and Castiel takes advantage of it to cup his jaw. Dean’s eyes flutter open as Castiel pries his mouth open nice and wide for him, and pushes his cock past those perfectly plush lips. Dean’s hands come up to grip him by the ass and pull him in. He’s already teetering on the edge from watching Dean come untouched, coupled with the intimacy of knowing he can just fuck Dean’s face without asking him first, and how he’s absolutely certain that Dean loves it as much as he’s about to.

Castiel grabs ahold of the headboard and starts fucking his boyfriend’s mouth. He can feel Dean’s tongue lapping at his cockhead as he pushes it in and out of the wet heat shallowly, trying to remember to make sure Dean’s still breathing. He closes his eyes and thinks about Dean’s ass clenching around his fingers when he came. He thinks about the watery cum that splashed all over his chest, and how he knows he’s going to make Dean come on just his cock someday soon. He finally feels his orgasm beginning to crest and he thrusts into Dean’s mouth harder, deeper, faster as he chases it.

Dean moans around his cock - probably because he knows how much he loves the muffled sounds he makes when his face is so stuffed full of him - and a slick finger dips between his cheeks. His breath hitches, and when Dean pushes a single finger inside of him and hits his prostate like a bulls-eye, his fingers go white on the headboard, his body locks up and he spills into his mouth, groaning, “ _Dean_.”

Dean swallows his cum and sucks him dry until Castiel pulls away, slithering back down his body and collapsing onto his chest. Dean’s hand comes up to cover his, and they lay there in a comfortable silence as they both gasp for breath and wait for their breathing to even out again.

Dean presses a kiss into his now sweaty hair and Castiel hums happily.

“Congratulations,” Dean says, finally. His voice is hoarse and Castiel mentally pats himself on the back, knowing it was him who got Dean off so good he actually screamed with pleasure and now sounds like this. “You are officially responsible for the best orgasm of my life.”

“I’ll watch for my certificate in the mail,” he says, and he finds he can’t help the happy chuckle that comes out of him when Dean laughs at his joke. “And to think I haven’t even gotten to make love to you yet.”

“I’m more than ready for that though. When you are,” Dean says quietly.

“There’s no rush, Dean,” Castiel answers, thinking, _we have forever._

“I know we’ve been working at getting me there, and I’m just saying I feel like I’m ready. Not tomorrow or anything, but maybe the next time we have a night just the two of us, you know?”

“Not to toot my own horn, but I believe my girth is bigger than three fingers. You only just took three for the first time tonight. Four might hurt you,” he warns him.

“If you go slow like I know you will, I think I’ll be okay. ‘Specially knowing how I sorta like the way the stretch actually feels.”

“Alright,” Castiel agrees, kissing his shoulder where his head is currently resting. “The next time we get away overnight. I want to take my time with you, make it special… plus, we don’t want you waking up Claire when I make you scream again.”

“Shut up,” Dean says quickly, but Castiel can hear the smile in his voice. “You know she sleeps like the dead.”

“Luckily for you,” Castiel agrees. He feels Dean’s cum drying between them and says, “I think we need a shower.”

“I’m on board with that as soon as I think my legs can hold me,” Dean admits.

“You’re just saying that so I leave you alone until you fall asleep,” Castiel warns him.

“No, m’not,” Dean argues, but his voice has that slur to it that means he’s already almost there.

“Nope,” Castiel says quickly sitting up and pulling Dean up with him.

“Doooon’t,” Dean whines, making his heart melt in his chest at the pout that’s _way_ too effective, but Dean gives in and allows himself be sat up.

Castiel can’t possibly resist leaning in to kiss his plump lips. “Come on. Shower. If Claire wakes up neither of us will be able to go in her room because we’re covered in cum and lube.”

“That’s just wrong,” Dean says with a frown on his face.

“That’s what I’m trying to say! Come on.”

Twenty minutes later, scrubbed clean and both dressed in pajama pants, they’re curled up in bed again. They’re still making their way through Friends, and Castiel finds himself understanding more and more of Sam and Dean’s jokes with every episode they watch.

“Hey hon?” Dean asks suddenly.

“Yes, dear?” Castiel answers with a grin.

“Can I, um, ask you something? You know, without you freaking out about it or, um, reading anything into it more than just a question?”

Dean’s obviously nervous about what he wants to ask, so Castiel mentally braces himself. “I will promise to do my best,” he answers cautiously.

“Do you remember, um, a long time ago, when we were first getting to know each other? And you asked me about where I see myself in five years?”

Castiel remembers the conversation well, though he isn’t sure why Dean would be bringing it up now. “I do.”

“I just, um, remember how you said then that, well -” Dean clears his throat, and Castiel wishes he would look up at him so he could see his face since it always tells so much about how he’s feeling, but he knows Dean often feels more brave without eye contact. “- that you didn’t know if you ever wanted to get married again.” Castiel leans down to kiss the top of his head, knowing that he likely needs the small boost to get to the reason he’s bringing this up. “I guess I was wondering if you’ve thought about it anymore, and well, if you still feel like that?”

Castiel would laugh if he thought Dean wouldn’t think he was laughing _at_ him. Has he thought about marriage? Or, the real question Dean didn’t ask but is obviously contemplating, if he’s thought about marriage with him.

“I have thought about it,” he answers. “I’ve thought about it a lot, actually, and the conclusion I’ve come to is that what I had with Arthur was never really a marriage to begin with. We said our vows, and we had the piece of paper that said we were married, but that’s as far as it went. We didn’t have a partnership, or even a relationship built upon love, mutual trust, and respect, the way a marriage should be. It’s unfortunate I married him at all, and I know it wouldn’t be fair or accurate to completely disregard marriage entirely based on what happened between him and I,” Castiel explains. “But the positive side of the farce that my first marriage turned out to be - other than Claire, of course - is that I treasure what we have so much more than I might have because of it.” Dean kisses his fingers, and Castiel smiles at the sweetness of the gesture. “As for do I think I’d like to get married again, I can answer that easily. I would very much like to get married again, if it’s to somebody who loves and treats both myself and Claire the way you do.”

Castiel thinks that’s as close to saying, _I’d like to get married again someday as long as it’s to you_ he can possibly get without actually saying it _._

“That’s good,” Dean says on an exhale, sounding so relieved that Castiel has to bite his lip not to laugh a little. “And uh, you know, just outta curiosity - not even with me, just in general - do you think you’d wanna get engaged first or live together first?”

Castiel’s heart is thudding hard in his chest now, knowing that Dean has been thinking of the same things he’s been trying to tell himself not to. He wants to make this conversation as painless for both of them as he possibly can. “Dean, sweetheart, you don’t need to pose these questions as hypotheticals for fear of scaring me away.”

“What? No. That’s not what I’m doing,” Dean denies.

Castiel does let the chuckle slip out now, because they both know he knows when Dean’s lying. “We can talk about our future and how we’d like it to play out. It doesn’t mean what we talk about has to happen tomorrow.”

Dean lets out an exaggerated sigh this time and finally turns over onto his stomach to look at Cas, propping his chin up with his hands. “Okay. So _not_ hypothetically then, would you want to engaged first or live together first?”

Everything inside of him turns to mush just hearing those words come from Dean’s lips about the two of them. “You’re really thinking about those things?”

“Sometimes,” Dean admits, looking away from him. “And it’s not like I’m in a rush or anything. I guess I just kinda want a clear path, you know? ‘Cause I know it’s not just about you. It’s about you and Claire. And I didn’t know if you’d think it’s better for her to have me move in when we’re not engaged or married, or if you wouldn’t want to be engaged to somebody who hasn’t lived with you to know what it’s really like. And I don’t want to start mentally planning for the wrong thing and screw it up.”

“As much as I appreciate you always thinking about Claire, I don’t think at this point she would know the difference. Even if we got engaged a year from now, and were engaged for a year, she still wouldn’t fully understand what’s happening by the time we got married. And as far as she’s concerned, I’m sure she already believes you live here.”

Probably because he really does, even if they’ve both been very careful to not phrase it like that. Dean still technically owns the apartment next door, after all... though he doesn’t even know the last time Dean’s stepped foot inside of it. Maybe the time they slept there two months ago? It’s a pointless distinction he’s clung to out of fear, but after Dean went to bat for him with his family about daycare costs, it’s ridiculous to ask him to keep paying for rent on a second apartment.

“In fact,” Castiel continues, “since you brought it up, I believe I’d feel comfortable with you officially moving in now if you’re ready to take that step.”

Dean’s smile spreads so quickly he already knows he’s about to hear yes before he speaks. “Really? You want to live together? Now?”

“We’ve been living together for a while, really. But yes. I want it for real. I want your name on the lease, and I want to start fighting over who pays which bills,” Castiel says with a smile, knowing the argument will come. And he didn’t realize how badly he wanted all of that until he let himself say the words out loud… and now his heart feels like it’s stuck somewhere in his throat while he waits for Dean to really answer him.

Dean surges upwards to catch his lips in a kiss, laughing against them. When he pulls away, still grinning, he says, “I’m so glad I grew a pair and brought this up!”

Castiel laughs too, leaning forwards to kiss him once more. “I’m glad I addled your brain enough with the best orgasm of your life to make you start daydreaming about rings and houses.”

“That’s what I was gonna blame if you went all weird on me,” Dean admits, grinning. “The whole moving in thing is awesome. But it still leaves me hanging on one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“How long would you wanna live together before you might start thinking about getting engaged?”

Castiel’s heart is racing in his chest all over again from the question. What’s the right answer in this situation? He never thought he’d want somebody he’s known for less than six months to move in, so how is he supposed to know when he’ll be ready to be engaged? He pictures Dean down on one knee in front of him, his eyes shining with emotion, and he can feel his throat clog up all over again, but this time with happiness.

He gives himself a moment and then says, “To be completely honest with you, Dean, I don’t know that I’d be able to turn you down if you asked me today. But I’m not entirely comfortable with the idea of it yet. I would second guess myself and it would take some of the joy out of it for me.” Dean nods his head, but Castiel can tell he looks at least a little bit sad. “I love you, Dean, and in my mind, that’s where this is going… just not quite yet. Can you trust me to let you know when I get there?”

He must have said the right thing because the sadness is replaced with a soft smile. “Yeah. That works. Then I can stop worrying about if you’re secretly waiting for me to pop the question or whatever.”

Castiel pokes him playfully. “Why is it that you’re asking me?”

Dean’s eyes go comically wide. He always has such open expressions on his face that it makes it easy for Castiel to read him like a book.

“Shit. I never even thought that you might want to ask me. Just, as a guy, I always kinda figured I’d do the asking one day. Didn’t really think about how when two guys are together it gets a little complicated,” Dean admits.

Castiel smiles in amusement. “It’s alright. I would be quite pleased to let you deal with all the nerves that come from buying a ring and planning the actual proposal.”

“How’d you get engaged the first time?” Dean asks. “Have to make sure I top that. By a lot.”

“That should be easy. All he did was bring me to a jewelry store and buy me the most expensive ring they had. He didn’t even ask so much as he said, ‘We should get married,’ as we walked into the store. Then he chose my ring even when I insisted it wasn’t my taste, because he said he wanted me to have the best.”

Dean shakes his head in what looks like disbelief. “Well, lucky for you, I don’t think the best is automatically what costs the most. I know you said you wore your ring every day so you must have liked it okay, but I never would have bought you a ring with all those stones on it,” Dean tells him. “That’s not you, like, at all.”

Castiel feels warmth run through him again when Dean confirms just how well he knows him. “You’re right. It wasn’t. I hated it, but I did respect what it symbolized, which is why I wore it every day,” he explains.

“If I do a shit job of picking one out someday I hope you’ll tell me so you don’t get stuck wearing a ring you don’t like for the rest of forever. ‘Cause I’m not gonna be dumb enough to fuck it up if I get a ring on your finger. It’s gonna be _forever_ forever,” he declares. “I’m not ever gonna give up on us.”

Castiel feels exactly the same way, and hearing confirmation from Dean just makes that warmth spread and spread until he’s wondering how it can all fit inside of him.

“Nothing would make me happier,” Castiel answers honestly. “And when we get there, and we wear each other’s rings, I want it to mean exactly that. When we get there,” he adds again, just so Dean knows he doesn’t mean that right now. (Not that he doesn’t mean that right now, he just knows he shouldn’t say it yet.)

“Yeah. Like you said before, there’s no rush or whatever. I figure I’ll be high on officially living together for a while anyway,” he grins. “ _Another_ first for me, by the way.”

“I like the idea of being so many of your big firsts,” Castiel admits.

“I like the idea of you being so many of my big onlies,” Dean corrects, and because Castiel likes the idea of that even more, he pulls him up so he can kiss him again. He spreads his hand on his face and runs his thumb under his cheekbone, wanting this kiss to show Dean how much he appreciates him fighting through his nerves to discuss all of this with him.

“I love you so much,” he says when they finally break apart.

“I love _you_ so much. Man, I can’t believe we’re gonna live together. We’re gonna have to get rid of some shit.”

“Your couch is much nicer than mine,” Castiel says immediately.

“Hell, yeah it is. Kinda sad to see yours go, though. Lots of good memories on that couch,” Dean says with a smirk.

“We’ll just have to give the new one the same treatment,” Castiel replies.

“I am down for that! My mattress is better than yours, too.” Castiel frowns, not entirely sure if he agrees with that. “Dude. It’s memory foam. It just has to get to know you.” Castiel chuckles at his insistence. “But your bed frame is nicer.”

“Your TV,” Castiel adds, causing Dean to nod along.

“Instead of getting rid of all the castaways though, we should probably just store it in the basement at my mom’s,” Dean suggests.

“Why? It’s not as if we’re going to need a second television, for example.”

“Well, not right away,” Dean answers. “But we won’t live here forever, right? Be nice to have an extra bed, extra TV, another couch and coffee table for whenever we decide to buy a house. Then we won’t have to buy as much shit to fill it up with.”

“That could be a while, though. I don’t have any money saved towards purchasing a home. Do you think your mom would mind storing our stuff for that long?”

“I’m sure she won’t mind at all. And you’re gonna be saving a ton of money now only paying for half of everything. Plus, it’s not like I don’t have money, honey,” Dean says, bouncing his eyebrows at the rhyme.

“You know how I feel about taking your money,” Castiel reminds him, already beginning to feel awkward.

“If we’re living together and we’re planning a life together then you gotta start thinking of it as _our_ money.”

“It’s not though,” Castiel argues. “You had that before I ever came along. You earned it on your own. It had nothing to do with me.”

Dean just shrugs his shoulders. “I’ll wear you down eventually.”

Castiel admires his (misplaced) optimism. “You’re awfully sure of yourself,” he comments.

Dean shimmies back down until he’s comfortable on his chest again. “Yeah, well, I know your weakness.”

“Oh really? Care to share?”

“Nah, not right now. Don’t want you to work up a defence to it before I spring it on ya,” Dean replies, obviously smiling to himself.

“Alright, if you say so.”

“Hey Cas? I’m really, really, stupidly happy right now.”

And does anything make him happier than knowing he can make this kind, patient, incredibly _good_ man happy? “That makes two of us.”

“You up for another sappy song serenade?” Dean asks, turning to look back up at him again. “I’ve had this one on the back burner for the day we finally made us living together a real thing,” he admits.

Ever since Castiel had such a strong reaction to Dean singing him the song he wrote for him, Dean has started playing for him more often. For Claire sometimes too, but he mostly plays love songs for Castiel when they’re alone. Usually once or twice a month, but it’s really just whenever Dean would hear a song on the radio at work that made him think of Castiel. The funniest thing is that he always tries to pick the songs he thinks are the corniest, but Castiel has never managed to get through a single song without crying. He’s been treated to Perfect by Ed Sheeran, Head Over Feet by Alanis Morissette, Open Arms by Journey, and As Long As You Love Me by the Backstreet Boys.

He’s already grinning in anticipation of what sappy love song Dean’s picked out for him. He knows he’s going to end up with tears streaming down his face, but he absolutely loves when Dean plays for him, and hearing his low voice pour out of him as smooth as honey brings him a sense of peace he had never experienced until the first time he heard it.

“I can hardly wait,” Castiel replies.

Dean sits up to grab his guitar from the corner of the room and slips the strap over his head. Castiel is in for a real treat tonight because Dean’s already shirtless. A shirtless Dean Winchester is always a treat, but seeing those fingers of his move so deftly across the neck of his guitar while he’s shirtless is something else all together.

Dean does whatever it is he does with the knobby things at the top of the guitar and then starts playing quietly.

 _Something in your eyes,_  
_Makes me want to lose myself,_  
_Makes me want to lose myself,_  
_In your arms._  
_There's something in your voice,_  
_Makes my heart beat fast._  
_Hope this feeling lasts,_  
_The rest of my life._

Castiel can already feel his eyes misting over. How Dean finds these songs will always be a mystery to him. How many times has Dean mentioned how much he loves his eyes and his voice? Now he’s singing the words and it always amplifies his feelings so much more.

 _If you knew how lonely my life has been,_  
_And how long I've been so alone._  
_If you knew how I wanted someone to come along,_  
_And change my life the way you've done._

 _It feels like home to me._  
_It feels like home to me._  
_It feels like I'm all the way back where,_  
_I come from._  
_It feels like home to me._  
_It feels like home to me._  
_Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong._

The first tear spilled over at the word home, and the second and third follow at the last line.

 _A window breaks down a long dark street,_  
_And a siren wails in the night._  
_But I'm alright 'cause I have you here with me,_  
_And I can almost see through the dark there is light._

Dean’s voice is thicker than it was when he sings this part, and Castiel knows he isn’t the only one thinking about how they’ve both admitted how the sound of a siren made them both feel desperately afraid for the first few weeks after Arthur got his hands on Dean.

 _If you knew how much this moment means to me,_  
_And how long I've waited for your touch._  
_If you knew how happy you are making me..._  
_I never thought that I'd love anyone so much._

Now Castiel isn’t the only one with tears streaming down his face, because several well up and spillover as Dean’s voice cracks on the high note in _happy_. It takes everything he has to stay on his spot on the bed instead of jumping into Dean’s arms. He lets him finish the song by repeating the chorus one last time.

 _It feels like home to me._  
_It feels like home to me._  
_It feels like I'm all the way back where,_  
_I come from._  
_It feels like home to me._  
_It feels like home to me._  
_Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong._  

He wipes the tears away from his face while Dean puts the guitar back down where he got it and climbs back onto their bed into the space Castiel has left for him between his legs. He lays his head on Castiel’s chest, and Castiel envelopes him in his arms, holding him tight while he plants kiss after kiss onto the top of his head.

“I don’t know how you find these songs. I don’t even think I’ve ever heard this one before,” Castiel says finally.

“Rearranged it a bit. It’s by some Canadian chick but got popular because of the movie _How to Lose A Guy In Ten Days._ Not that I’ve seen that or anything,” Dean lies.

“As long as you don’t take any tips from the title, you know I love you in spite of your love for romantic comedies.”

“Shuddup,” Dean answers playfully. Then, more seriously, “You know why I sing that sappy shit all the time right?”

“Because you secretly enjoy making me cry?” Castiel tries.

“No, Dumbo.” Castiel can feel Dean’s fingers tracing the lines of his ribs with his fingertips, causing Castiel to twitch every now and then when he finds a ticklish spot. Dean doesn’t stop though, and he doesn’t ask him to because he knows he likes distractions when he admits to something. Particularly something heavy. “Because I know I’m crap at saying all the things you make me feel. Then I hear these people sayin’ it all perfectly in a song, and once I figure out how to play it for you, you get to hear how I feel about you even though I’m stealing somebody else’s words. But I mean everything I sing to you.”

“It’s a very effective method of communication,” Castiel says honestly. It works for them.

There’s a small silence, but Castiel waits it out, thinking there might be more from Dean. He’s right. “Being with you and Claire does feel like home. Feels like I’m where I’m supposed to be. Even the _through the dark there is light_ thing. You were my light for weeks. Up with me every time I had a nightmare even though you were exhausted. How lonely I was before you. How long I feel like I waited for you. The words were perfect.”

“Why do you think I cry, Dean? I know you mean every one. Your eyes shine with the truth behind them every time.” Dean scoffs, still not great at taking compliments. Hopefully one day he’ll change that. “You know how much I love hearing you sing anything, particularly love songs. Though you do a mean Old MacDonald Had A Farm with your monkey accompaniment,” he adds to make Dean laugh, which works. “But just so you know, I don’t think you’re crap at expressing your emotions. You tell me you love me all the time, and even more than that, you always, _always_ show it. Either with small touches or by doing things like taking over the cooking when you get home so I can spend time with Claire. It’s extremely obvious in everything you do, sweetheart. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“I’m just lucky that you get me,” Dean replies.

“No, I’m lucky to _have_ you.”

Dean snorts out a bit of a laugh. “We’re pretty pathetic, huh?”

“I prefer to think of it as happy,” Castiel corrects, even knowing full-well that Dean is absolutely right.

“Pathetically happy?”

Castiel chuckles, deciding to let him have this one. “Sure.”

“You ready for bed?”

“As long as we sleep just like this,” Castiel barters.

“We both know you won’t be able to feel your legs in about twenty minutes,” Dean tells him. They know because they’ve both learned this several times already... but it’s so _comfortable_ right until somebody's legs fall asleep.

“That’s true. And I really dislike it when you’re right, by the way,” Castiel says. “I want to be the big spoon then.”

“Sounds good, honey,” Dean agrees, rolling over and off of Castiel. “As long as you get the lights first.”

Castiel rolls away from Dean with a groan and flicks off the lamp before he gathers Dean back into his arms. He presses a line of kisses along his shoulder before he kisses him once between his shoulder blades where he likes to rest his head. “Goodnight, my love.”

“Night, Cas.”

He listens to the even breathing of his boyfriend beside him, and his last conscious thought before he drifts off to sleep with Dean in his arms is that Dean was right _twice_ tonight - it does feel like home.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel walks into the building and stops to hold the door open for Dean, who has Claire’s little hand wrapped around two of his fingers and her Elmo bag thrown over his shoulder. He feels weirdly naked without both of those things in his arms, here of all places.

“Cool tank! Mind if we go check out the fish?” Dean asks him, gesturing towards the big aquarium across from the reception desk.

“No, that’s fine, go ahead,” he answers. “I’ll go let them know we’re here.”

“Let’s see if we can find Nemo and Dory in here, huh, buddy?” Dean says to Claire as he walks in that direction.

Castiel walks over to the reception desk and greets the woman there with a smile. “Good morning. My daughter Claire has an appointment with Caroline.”

“Last name?” she asks.

“Novak.”

“Perfect. I’ll let her know that you’re here. Feel free to let Claire play in the waiting area and someone will come find you when Caroline’s ready for you,” she tells him. The same thing she tells him every time they come here.

“Thank you,” he responds, turning around to go meet Dean and Claire again.

Dean glances over at him and Castiel can see the way he’s analyzing his expression. He does his best to smile at him in a convincing fashion, but Dean just huffs before he reaches out to lace their fingers together.

“Take it easy, honey,” Dean tells him, squeezing his hand in his. “It’s just an appointment.”

Castiel shakes his head in disagreement because it’s not just an appointment. It’s the first appointment he’s invited Dean to accompany him to - has invited anybody at all to, actually - _and_ it’s an assessment. Everything has been so busy since Dean officially moved in a few weeks ago, it feels like the end of August really snuck up on him, and he is in no way emotionally prepared for Claire to have her assessment today. They had missed her 18-month one because of Dean’s assault. Now Claire’s days away from 22 months old, and today is the first day Caroline had enough time available to reschedule.

“It’s not just an appointment. It’s an assessment,” Castiel reminds him.

“So what?” Dean says nonchalantly.

“So what?” Castiel echoes incredulously. Most of the time he's envious of Dean's easy going nature, but sometimes he's  _too_ easy going for his tastes. “They could tell us that she’s a year behind in her speech! That she should be tested for autism. That maybe there’s something wrong with her neurologically causing her to not be able to speak properly. Or -”

“Okay, chill for a second. You’ll drive yourself crazy with that shit - stuff, sorry - and by the sounds of things, you already are.” Castiel can see the moment Dean catches on. His voice is even softer when he asks, “Is this why you’ve been havin’ such a hard time falling asleep the last couple nights?”

Castiel doesn’t necessarily want to admit to that, so he holds his arms out for Claire instead, who thankfully reaches out for him. He hitches her onto his hip the way he always does and Claire points at the fish and babbles excitedly. Unfortunately, having Claire in his arms does absolutely nothing to deter Dean from this conversation. He puts his hand low on Castiel’s back and waits for him to look over at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?" The only way he can respond is with a shrug of his shoulders. Dean’s eyes are soft when he says, “No matter what they say in there, Claire’s still gonna be exactly the same afterwards as she is right now. Whatever they say - if she has autism or speech apraxia or an extra eyeball growin’ out of the back of her head - it doesn’t matter. She’s still gonna be your little girl and we’re both still gonna love her and do whatever it takes to help her.”

Castiel nods as he feels his eyes mist over with the truth of what Dean’s just said. Of course he wouldn’t love Claire any less if there was something wrong, he just doesn’t want her to have to deal with anything more in her life than she already has. But with Dean on their side, he suddenly feels like the three of them can handle whatever may be thrown at him.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Castiel replies. “Thank you.”

“If you think you’re ever comin’ to another one of these without me you better think again. I had no idea you’d get all worked up like this. Shoulda known,” Dean says, obviously blaming himself for this like he does everything.

“I should have been honest with you about what was bothering me. The fault lies with me,” Castiel insists.

“Choo choo!” Claire says suddenly.

“Yes, sweetheart, we can go play with the train table,” Castiel tells her. “Play trains.”

“Dee choo choo,” Claire insists, reaching back out for him.

Dean takes her but sets her on the ground. “You have legs, you know,” he tells her with a little pat to her bottom.

“Uh!” Claire asks, her eyes lit up with trouble.

Dean snorts with amusement. “You’re the worst, you know that?” he teases her, taking her by the hand and following Claire's lead towards where she knows the train table is.

“You did this,” Castiel reminds him. “You taught her to argue with you.”

Dean reaches out to take his hand so the three of them are linked together and shoots him an easy smile. “I know. Someday, she’s gonna be some big, fancy pants lawyer and take good care of us so we can stay at home and spend all day every day in bed.”

Castiel laughs. “Keep dreaming.”

“Dee! Da! Dee!” Claire exclaims, taking off at a run now that the train table is within sight. “ _Choo choo!_ ” This time it comes out like the whistle of a train and Castiel can’t hide his smile, especially knowing that she learned to do it that way from Dean.

Dean squeezes Castiel’s hand once before he gets down on the floor with Claire to start playing trains. How he has the patience to push trains around and around in circles as often as he does will never cease to amaze him. He himself can only stand to do it in small doses, getting bored quickly and never seeming to entertain Claire as well as Dean can. He’s glad Claire has Dean to be the fun dad since that’s something he’s always struggled with. Though admittedly Dean _has_ helped to draw him out of his shell at least a little bit.

“Remember Claire, when Miss Caroline comes we have to go in the room, okay? No fits.”

“You gonna be a good girl for daddy, Claire?” Dean asks her.

“No,” Claire answers, which is pretty much her answer to everything these days.

Dean grins and looks up at Castiel. “Least she’s bein’ honest about it.”

“You think you’ve heard her scream before? Just wait. Every single time we have to leave the train table it’s exactly the same.”

“Hmm,” Dean comments, and Castiel can see his wheels turning. He also sees how he pockets one of the trains when Claire’s back is turned a minute later, and since he knows he’s not just stealing it, he wonders what he’s planning.

Castiel sits nervously in the chair closest to the train table, alternating between keeping an eye on Dean and Claire and looking at the time on his cell phone nervously. He respects and admires Caroline a lot, but he absolutely hates how she never seems to be on time. Every minute he spends here is a minute he has to make up back at work, and as they stack up, he starts to resent it.

“She always late like this?” Dean asks Castiel.

“Unfailingly,” Castiel responds.

“You’d think the way she charges out the -”

Castiel sees Caroline round the corner and look towards the train table. She smiles when she sees him and tilts her head in confusion when she sees Dean playing with Claire. Castiel gets to his feet quickly, cutting Dean off mid-sentence, and walks the few steps over to Claire before he crouches down to be at her level.

“There’s Miss Caroline, Claire Bear. Time to go into her room,” he tells Claire.

“No,” Claire says, ignoring him and continuing to play with the trains. _Here we go_ , Castiel thinks to himself.

“Hey, saying no to your daddy isn’t very nice,” Dean says.

Claire looks up at that, but it’s with defiance written all over her face.

“Time to go buddy. Come on,” Dean says, getting to his feet and holding out his hand.

“No,” Claire says again.

“We’ll just have to pick her up and carry her kicking and screaming as usual,” Castiel tells Dean with a sigh.

“Hi Castiel! Hi Claire!” Caroline says as she approaches them. “Playing with the train table again, I see?”

“Choo choo,” Claire tells her.

Caroline’s eyes light up at the new word. “That’s such a big girl to use your words like that! Do you want to come see what toys I have in my room today?”

“No,” Claire answers, and Caroline’s smile grows at _another_ new word.

“Bet you hear that a lot,” she says to him.

“You have no idea,” Castiel responds. “Caroline, this is my boyfriend, Dean.”

“Nice to meet you, Dean,” Caroline says, sticking her hand out for Dean to shake.

Dean finally turns towards her and Castiel sees the moment Caroline gets her first good look at him. It always amuses him when he sees people react to Dean’s outrageously pretty face the first time they see him, and Caroline is no exception. She remains professional, of course, but her face goes a little pink and her smile is a shy one he’s never seen before.

“Same,” Dean answers with a nod. Castiel watches as Dean extracts the train from his pocket and holds it out to a bewildered Caroline, who takes it questioningly. Then he turns back to Claire without even giving Caroline a second look and says, “I bet Miss Caroline has trains in her room.”

Castiel watches while Claire looks up and sees Caroline with a train in her hand.

“Choo choo?” Claire asks.

“Yes!” Caroline says, catching on quickly. “Why don’t you pick a train and we can play trains in my room with the other toys?”

Claire looks up at Castiel, as if looking for permission, and he nods his head encouragingly. She looks at the two trains she has - one in each hand - and looks up at Dean this time.

“Two trains?” Dean asks for her. She holds them up. “Yeah, two trains is okay, but no crying.” She reaches out as if to take a third train and Dean stops her. “Good try, blondie. Two trains. Final offer.”

She smiles like she knew Dean was going to say that and walks away from the train table towards Caroline. Caroline shares an impressed look with Castiel, and Castiel can’t stop himself from beaming back. Dean’s fantastic with Claire and he’s proud that Caroline gets to see that. Claire reaches up for Caroline’s hand, so Castiel wraps his arm around Dean’s waist and presses a quick kiss to his cheek as they follow behind them.

Caroline opens the door to the small room they use, and Claire goes right over to the little toy garage and pulls it off of the shelf.

“I totally had one of these!” Dean says excitedly, getting down on the ground with Claire.

“Dee car,” Claire says quickly, adding the sign for _please_ at the end.

“Wow, that’s three words strung together right off the bat,” Caroline says with a wide smile, already scribbling in her notebook as her and Castiel take their seats. “Does she do that often?”

“When it comes to Dean, yes,” Castiel replies truthfully. “She asks him often to play cars or trains, using a combination of his name, car or train, and signing _please_ at the end.”

“I remember you telling me he had a way with her, and I can see now you weren’t exaggerating,” she nods.

“Chicks dig me,” Dean says, which Castiel has now heard so many times he can barely work up the effort to roll his eyes at it anymore.

“Ignore him,” Castiel says to Caroline, which gets a snort of laughter from Dean and a confused but amused look from Caroline.

“Okay,” she continues, obviously choosing to heed Castiel’s advice. “So I’ve already noticed _no_ and _choo choo_ as new words since the last time we were together. Any others?”

“Other than no and choo choo, she’s only added hi since the last time we were here,” Castiel says, feeling the familiar sinking sensation inside of him when he has to talk about this.

“That’s great though!” Caroline says, supportive as always. “That’s four new words in six weeks, Castiel! That’s really, really encouraging.”

“Hey, uh, sorry to interrupt...” Dean says, his face turning pink with embarrassment.

“You’re not interrupting,” Castiel assures him.

“You said animal sounds count, too, right?” Dean asks Caroline, and she nods. “Well, she says moo and she does a snorting oink thing for a pig when we sing Old MacDonald now.”

“That’s true,” Castiel realizes belatedly. “She only does it for Dean, and only if he sings, but she will do it.”

“And, I mean, I don’t know if ‘mo counts, but she says that for Elmo, too,” Dean adds.

“Consistently?” Caroline asks.

“Yeah. Anytime she wants to watch it she says it,” Dean answers.

“That definitely counts,” Caroline says, writing it down in her book.

“Hang on, a sec I think there’s one more but I can’t remember...” Dean reaches into his phone, taps a few times on the screen, then says, “Oh yeah! She says uh-oh! Which, I mean, I know it’s technically a word...”

“It is! Do you have a list of words on your phone?” she asks him.

“Yeah,” Dean answers, his hand going to the back of his neck in what Castiel knows is a nervous gesture. “I’m shit - uh, sorry - I suck at remembering stuff, so I thought I’d write it down in case it ever came up.”

“That’s such a great idea,” Castiel says, beaming at Dean’s thoughtfulness. “I don’t know why I never thought of it when I make lists for everything else.”

“That’s what made me think of it,” Dean says with a smile.

“It’s fantastic. A lot of times parents forget what’s changed from appointment to appointment, so moving forwards, continuing to write words down as she says them would be great,” Caroline says. “May I see the list?”

Dean gets up to his feet to walk over to her and hand her the phone, and he rests his hand between Castiel’s shoulder blades as Caroline copies the list down. Castiel glances up at him and Dean gives him a little wink, which makes him blush (as usual) but also grounds him for some reason. This is going well so far. Dean being here is calming for him, and he feels more at ease now than he has at any of Claire’s assessments before.

“Okay, so it looks like she’s up to fifteen words!” Caroline exclaims, and Castiel finds himself smiling at her contagious enthusiasm. “That’s so, so great Castiel! All of the hard work you’ve been doing with her is paying off. Do you see that?”

Castiel nods. “I do see her improving, definitely. And it’s always very exciting when she does say something new, but still... at daycare especially, I see her with all the other children her age speaking in sentences and she seems so far behind.”

“It might not seem that way, but statistically speaking, children don’t usually start stringing more than two words together consistently until after two years old. So she’s right on par when it comes to that,” she says. “And remember, she’s continuing to make progress, and that’s the most important part. I know it’s hard, but don’t lose sight of the huge strides she’s made just because other children don’t have the same obstacles to overcome as she does.”

“There’s always gonna be another kid who’s better than her at something, right?” Dean says wisely. “Well, except for being cute. _Try_ and show me another kid cuter than her - I dare you.”

Castiel and Caroline both laugh, and Castiel feels Dean’s hand rub reassuringly on his back.

“He’s right, though. Comparing one child to another is just a recipe for disaster. I understand what you mean about seeing her with the other children, but she’s doing _so well_ , Castiel, and I know she’s going to catch up,” Caroline says.

Castiel nods, letting her reassurance soothe him. “Thank you.”

“I think we’re ready to start the assessment, unless you have any other questions or comments?” she says, looking at both him and Dean this time.

They both shake their heads and then Caroline launches into an explanation of what she’s going to do. She wants to assess both her verbal language and receptive language, and walks them through how she’s going to do it. She’ll start by looking through a workbook designed specifically for this with Claire, and then by using some toys and puzzles to try to motivate her to say the words they know she can already say so she can hear how she pronounces them. She also explains she’ll be listening for what sounds Claire can make while she babbles. She gets up from her chair to join Claire on the floor, motioning for Dean to take her seat, and asks both Dean and Castiel to remain quiet unless she asks for their help.

Castiel is thankful when Dean moves his chair over beside his instead of across from him, and when he reaches to pull his hand into his lap, Castiel grips his hand tight and leans against his strong shoulder, feeling immediately calmer just from being close to him.

Dean is right - he’s never coming to an assessment alone again.

They both sit quietly and watch as Caroline goes through her assessment. It’s similar to the last one Claire did, but even Castiel can tell it’s going much better than it did last time. Claire is answering Caroline’s questions by pointing to the right pictures on the pages almost every time. When Caroline starts doing a puzzle with her, giving her a new piece that makes an animal sound when placed into the puzzle board after each time she repeats a word for her, she goes along with it and says every single word she knows how to say in order to complete the puzzle. She makes her animal sounds, and even puts, “Dee ooh-ooh ah-ah,” together to make her usual joke about Dean being a monkey, much to Caroline’s delight.

It feels like the assessment goes on for a really long time, but when Castiel checks his phone (again) he sees it’s actually only been twenty minutes. Caroline closes her book and tells them that’s it for the test, and that she just has to go review her notes and then she’ll be back to talk to them about how she did.

The minute she leaves the room, Dean has his arm around his shoulders and Castiel falls into him quickly.

“She did so good, honey. She’s gonna be fine,” Dean reassures him, kissing his forehead.

“It’s so hard to watch. There were some questions she missed that I know she would have known the answer to had Caroline allowed us to rephrase the question so she could understand it better.”

“Yeah, I noticed she knows her colors a lot better than she did during that test. That’s frustrating, but there’s probably a reason for why Caroline has to use those exact words to ask the question,” Dean says.

Castiel nods, knowing he’s probably right.

“What would’ve happened if she was in one of her moods and didn’t want to do the puzzle?” Dean asks.

Castiel shrugs a shoulder. “I don’t know. I’ve wondered that myself, but somehow, Caroline always seems to pull her in with whatever activity she wants to do.”

“Guess that’s why we pay her the big bucks.”

“She’s really good at what she does,” Castiel comments.

“Yeah, she seems cool. I get why you like her so much now. When she was getting all excited over every new word Claire said you could tell it was real, you know? She’s invested in what happens to Claire.”

A few minutes pass while the two of them help Claire with whatever toys she brings to them, and despite Claire’s insistence, Dean never leaves his side. He’s obviously trying to be a comfort to Castiel, but he can see the way his knee keeps jiggling up and down and he knows Dean’s just as nervous as he is.

“How long does this usually take?” Dean asks him.

Castiel smiles and covers his bouncing knee with his hand, raising his eyebrows so Dean knows he’s on to him. “It varies each time, but I’m sure it won’t be much longer. Relax.”

Dean rolls his eyes before his face lights up with a grin. “Know what would help?”

He already knows it’s going to be something dirty just based on the sparks in his eyes. “I can only imagine.”

Dean grins wider. “Was just gonna ask for a kiss, don’t be such a sleazeball, Cas.” Then Dean’s hand is on his face and he’s pulling him in until their lips meet, and Castiel can’t think of a single reason why he shouldn’t let them have this. Dean parts his lips, so he takes that plush bottom lip of his between his own for a moment before he kisses him soft and slow several times until they break apart.

Dean’s looking at him through those long eye lashes, and even after almost six months, Castiel can’t stop the blush coming to his cheeks. Dean’s absolutely gorgeous and he still hasn’t managed to get a handle on the way his body reacts to his proximity. Secretly, he hopes he never will.

“I dunno about you, but I feel better,” Dean tells him.

Castiel leans in to press their lips together once more briefly. “You always make me feel better.”

Dean has that soft look in his eyes again, and before he can even say the words Castiel knows what’s coming. “Love you.”

Another thing he hopes he’ll never get used to: the way those two simple words (Dean’s preferred way of saying it) fill him up until he feels like he’s going to burst every single time. “I love _you_ ,” Castiel insists.

It ends up being fourteen very long minutes after that until Caroline comes back, but when she does, she has a huge smile on her face and Castiel feels some of his nerves dissipate immediately. Dean hops up out of his chair and puts it back on the other side of the small table for Caroline, and then goes right back to standing behind Castiel with his hand on his shoulder.

“Okay. So, I think you two are going to be really happy about this. It’s not a surprise to any of us that Claire’s still behind on her speech, but she is continuing to improve - and that’s _huge_ , so please don’t forget that. She’s up to fifteen words - five times more than she could say not even a year ago - which is _amazing_! I actually think she’s saying a lot more than we understand. There are a lot of consistent sounds coming out of her that I’m sure she thinks is communicating with us, but unfortunately we just haven’t figured out what she’s trying to say yet. But based on what we can understand with certainty, she’s hovering around the fourteen-month mark for verbal communication.”

Castiel feels his heart sink into his stomach like a stone even as he nods his head calmly. Fourteen months. Eight months behind. More than half a year. The way she’s speaking right now is the way she should have been speaking before Dean even came into their lives. He feels Dean’s hand squeeze his shoulder and exhales shakily, trying to hold back the tears. He knew she was far behind, but having a number put on it like that makes him want to cry.

“The last time she was assessed, when she was a year old, she was so far behind with her speech that we couldn’t even place her on the chart. Now she’s passed the twelve month mark and is already at the same level as a fourteen month old. That’s _huge_ progress, and I hope you don’t let the assessment discourage you, especially since I think she’s saying more than we know she is.”

Castiel nods again, not knowing what else to say - or _if_ he could say anything with how tight his throat feels anyway.

“What I think will make you very happy is her receptive language. She not only surpassed her age, she actually hit almost every single one of the markers for the two year old chart, which is the highest level I thought to bring with me. Off the record - I know from memory that she hit some of the markers for over three years old, but without having the paper in front of me I can’t officially put that in her file. But she’s _extremely_ bright, Castiel, and once her mouth catches up with her brain, she’s going to be talking your ear off,” Caroline promises.

“Holy shit,” Dean comments, slightly breathless. “I kinda figured she was getting a lot more of what I was saying than other kids do in the infant room, but I just thought it was because I knew how to talk to her the right way, you know?”

“That might have something to do with it, but she is more than a year ahead for her receptive language, so it’s not just you.”

“That’s freakin’ awesome! Right, Cas?” Dean prompts him.

“I apologize, I suppose I’m more than a little caught off guard here. She can understand as much as a three year old?” Castiel repeats.

“Most of it, yes,” Caroline confirms.

“No wonder you can reason with her so well,” he says to Dean, his mind flipping back to all the times Dean has managed to talk her out of a meltdown. “I never even tried because I thought she wouldn’t understand. I always thought it was your voice or facial expressions she was reacting to. I had no idea.”

“I figured she was getting most of what I was saying but I had no clue she was so that far advanced. Little smarty pants,” Dean says, beaming at Claire with pride.

Castiel feels his own smile grow, pride beginning to build inside of him now, as well. “This is... amazing. I’m so relieved.”

“I thought you might be,” Caroline says with a smile. “Claire is very bright for her age. The time you spend reading to her, and playing with her like Dean did in here earlier - constantly talking to her the way he did and repeating those key words over and over - is exactly what she needs to learn, and doing it is obviously paying off.”

Castiel can’t resist reaching up to cover Dean’s hand on his shoulder with his, feeling so incredibly full of love and gratitude for him in this moment he can feel tears beginning to pool in his eyes. He knew all along that Dean has been a huge help to Claire, but hearing Caroline say her progress is directly linked to the way Dean communicates with her is almost too much. Where would they even be without him?

“It’s no coincidence that the words she’s beginning to say are likely the ones you say most often to her: choo choo, hi, no, car. She’s picking it up exactly the way we expected her to. You should be very proud of her.”

“Thank you,” is all Castiel can manage to say.

“What else can we do until next time? We wanna help her to do better however we can,” Dean says, stealing the thought right out of his brain.

“I know it’s probably frustrating to hear - especially for Castiel who’s already been hearing this for almost a year now - but all we can really do for her at this age is to continue to do what we’re doing. She isn’t old enough for weekly speech therapy lessons - her attention span just isn’t big enough for that yet - so the very best way for her to learn is through repetition. So just keep up the good work, keep talking to her and narrating what you’re doing as you’re doing it, naming everything you touch, and she’s going to keep improving.”

“We can definitely do that,” Castiel assures her.

“Any other questions?” Caroline asks.

“Uhm - well - ” Dean begins, eyes darting between him and Caroline.

“Go ahead,” Caroline prompts him.

“I don’t wanna say the wrong thing,” Dean explains.

“You won’t,” Castiel tells him, knowing Dean would never say anything out of place. (Here, at least. At home’s a whole other ball game.)

“I was just sorta wondering... if she’s as smart as you say, and there isn’t anything actually keeping her from talking... _why_ doesn’t she talk like every other kid?” Dean asks.

Castiel feels his heart thudding in chest. It’s something he’s wondered about as well, but has never had the courage to ask. What if it’s something he’s done? Is it because of the trauma she dealt with as an infant? Is it something like being formula fed, or their egg donor having something wrong with her? Is it...

“I understand not having a specific reason is hard to accept, but I think the first thing we need to correct is the mindset, ‘like every other kid’.” Caroline says, her eyes sympathetic. “Because even though it might seem to you like every other child speaks the same, I can assure you that isn’t the case. Every child has their own speech pattern and pronunciation, and no two children speak exactly the same.” She pauses, glancing down at Claire with a smile before returning her gaze to Dean. "As for why Claire isn’t speaking at the ideal level... I wish I had an answer for you right now. These things have a way of making themselves more clear as the children age, so it’s certainly possible that the reason will reveal itself as she gets older, but honestly? From everything I’ve seen so far, there isn’t a medical reason causing her to have a speech delay. My best educated guess based on years of experience is that she just needs a little bit more time, but she’ll get there. And some day the two of you will look back at this and wonder why you ever tried so hard to get her to talk in the first place,” she jokes.

Dean chuckles a little bit, and Castiel gives Caroline a soft smile.

“Does that answer your question?” she asks Dean.

“Yeah. I just wanted to make sure I had all the information, you know?”

“Never a bad thing,” she remarks. “I think we should wait two months for her next appointment, and if anything comes up between now and then that you think we should meet about sooner, you can give me a call, okay?” Caroline asks him.

He pulls out his cell phone to coordinate a schedule with her while Dean helps Claire clean up the mess she made of all the toys in the room. Castiel sees when Dean makes eye contact with Caroline and puts the three trains Claire grabbed from the train table high up on a shelf where Claire can’t see them.

“She’s going to remember when we walk past it,” Castiel warns him.

“I can let you guys out the side door if you want,” Caroline offers.

“That would be a great help, thank you,” Castiel responds, wondering why he never thought of trying that earlier before dismissing the thought. Before Dean came along, he had this idea in his head that if he couldn’t handle absolutely every part of parenting on his own without asking for help, he wasn’t doing a good enough job. Dean’s persistence - and stubborn nature - has helped him come a long way to realizing that taking the easy way doesn’t make him any less of a parent.

Caroline opens the door for them and leads the way down the hallway to the side exit. “Just one last thing before you guys go. Dean, would you mind just giving us a minute?”

Dean looks surprised but shrugs. “Sure. I’ll wait with the munchkin right outside,” he tells Castiel.

“Sorry about that,” Caroline says as they watch the two of them walk away. “I just wanted to ask about Dean being added onto Claire’s file as a caregiver. That way, if I ever need to reschedule an appointment and couldn’t get a hold of you, or if he had any questions about Claire and wanted to contact me without you present, I would be able to speak directly to him. Without your signature, I can’t do that.”

“Yes, all of that is fine. We’re living together and he is as much of a second parent to Claire as he can possibly be,” Castiel says quickly.

“That’s what I thought you would say, but I didn’t want to bring it up in front of him just in case. I already drew up the papers when I was grading her assessment, so you just have to sign here and add his contact information.”

She holds out a clipboard and Castiel jots down Dean’s cell phone and work numbers and signs where required.

Caroline holds the door open and sees Dean and Claire standing there. “That’s it for today. Give me a call or send me an email if you have any questions - you too, Dean - and I hope you’ll both be back again next time.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Dean says sincerely.

“I suspect I wouldn’t be able to keep him away even if I tried,” Castiel agrees, smiling. “Thank you for everything. We’ll be in touch.”

“It was nice to meet you. Thanks a lot,” Dean echoes, then they all step off of the sidewalk. “Hand blondie, we’re still in a parking lot,” Dean says to Claire.

Claire reaches a hand up, and since Castiel is closest this time, he envelopes her hand in his and she keeps walking without even looking up to see which hand she has. He wonders if she already knows it’s him just based on the way his hands are smooth compared to Dean’s, which are callused from playing the guitar and spending so much time using the exercise equipment at work, or if she just doesn’t care. Both answers would please him.

Since Dean’s bringing Claire to daycare when he goes to work, Castiel buckles her into his car and gives her a kiss goodbye. “Have fun at daycare with Dee and Miss Mary, okay?” he tells her. “Daddy will see you after work.”

“Dee?” she asks.

“Dean’s bringing you to daycare. Dee’s car,” he says, reminding her which car she’s in.

“Dee Baby,” she says. Castiel smiles. He misses the way she used to say it, even though he knows it’s better for her to say it correctly.

“Yes,” Castiel agrees. “I love you, Claire. Thank you for being such a good girl.” He closes the door gently and turns to face Dean.

“Do I get a kiss for bein’ good, too?” Dean asks.

“You’re always good,” Castiel answers.

“Mmm tell me again how good I am, hot stuff,” Dean teases, pulling him in for a kiss. Castiel’s lips are still turned up into a smile, so it starts off a little messy, but they must have kissed a thousand times by now and Dean knows exactly what to do to get him from laughing to melting in under three seconds. He can feel his body responding to Dean the same way it always does - meaning his blood starts racing south to prepare for take off - so he ends their kiss and pulls him into his arms for a tight hug instead.

Dean pushes his face into the crook of his neck, and Castiel smiles happily. “Thank you so much for coming with me.”

“You know me, Cas, always happy to _come_ with you. Night or day. In the shower, in your mouth, up your...”

“I swear, I can’t take you anywhere,” Castiel says, cutting him off.

“Oh, you can take me anywhere,” Dean replies, waggling his eyebrows at him.

Castiel sighs, trying to hide his amusement so he doesn’t encourage him any further.

“Wanna tell me why Caroline wanted to see you alone? She wasn’t hitting on you, was she?” Dean asks.

“Please,” Castiel scoffs. “She just wanted me to sign some papers adding you to Claire’s file as her other caregiver. She’ll call you if she ever can’t get ahold of me, and now she’s able to discuss Claire’s file with you without me being present.”

Dean’s eyebrows shoot up. “You’re okay with that?”

“Of course I’m okay with that. We live together. We’re partners, are we not?”

Dean’s smile is so bright it’s almost blinding. “I really, really, like the sounds of that, hon.”

“I’m glad,” he says, smiling back at him. “I have to get going. I’ll see you at home after work.”

Dean pulls him in for another quick kiss and skims his hand down his waist to squeeze his ass before grinning at him over his shoulder and getting into his car. Castiel stands off to the side and waves at Claire in the back seat when he backs out, then walks to his car and gets in to drive to work.

It’s just after nine thirty when he pulls into his space at the library, and he supposes an hour lost of work isn’t so bad. He’s only got a half hour before the toddlers and their parents show up for story time, so he hurries inside to make sure everything’s set up.

He sees his co-worker, Chuck, at the front counter and stops to say hello. “Good morning, Chuck.”

“Morning, Castiel. How was the - erm - speech - thing?” Chuck asks, stuttering over his words as usual.

“Better than I anticipated. Did I miss anything exciting around here?”

“Not a thing.”

“The day’s still early,” Castiel responds. “I’m just going to go put my lunch away and then I’ll be back out to help set up for story time.”

“No rush, everything’s pretty much set to go.”

He says hello to the customers he recognizes and smiles at the ones he doesn’t on the way to the lunch room, and when he gets back out to the front with a ladder in hand he sees that Meg is there today, too.

“Hey, Clarence,” she says with a smirk.

“Hello, Meg,” Castiel replies. “I didn’t know you were working today.”

“Lucky me,” she replies, arching an eyebrow. “You know how much I loathe the tiny humans who make a mess of the place twice a week.”

Meg’s odd, with a dark and sarcastic sense of humor. She started calling him Clarence as soon as Chuck asked him if he was named after the Angel of Thursday, and after correcting her a dozen times had absolutely no effect on her, he just started to accept it, and now that’s all she calls him. He has yet to understand how she got hired to work here considering she definitely doesn’t have a winning personality, hates children, and admits she hasn’t read a book in years, but here she is nonetheless.

“ _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_ today, Clarence?” she asks, looking at the display Chuck has set up. Castiel’s currently tying fishing line to plastic butterflies and attaching them to the ceiling to make it look like they’re flying around.

“That’s right,” Castiel responds. “Did you cut up the egg cartons like I left on the to-do list?”

“Yes, boss. It was invigorating work,” she answers dryly. “Really got my blood pumping.”

“Thank you anyway.”

“Here comes the first wave of kids,” Chuck says, looking out the window.

He looks down at Meg. “I need you to either finish hanging the butterflies from the ceiling or go greet the children.”

Meg rolls her eyes but climbs up the other side of the ladder until they’re face to face. Her gaze deliberately trails down to his lips while she licks her own in invitation. He passes her the butterfly in his hand without comment, though he shoots her an unamused look as he steps down.

“I’d tell you to take the stick out of your tush, but I forgot you _like that_ ,” she says quietly.

“Meg, I’ve told you repeatedly -”

“ _That kind of language isn’t appropriate for the workplace_ ,” she says, mimicking the words he has in fact said to her multiple times. “Not my fault you don’t want to see me outside of work.”

Castiel disagrees with that, but knows enough not to voice his thoughts on it right now. “Be -”

“- on my best behavior in front of the children,” she finishes for him. “You really need to come up with some new material, Clarence.”

He ignores her, and chooses instead to walk over to greet the children he recognizes from the in-home daycare that comes twice a week.

“Good morning Miss Nicki,” he says, reaching down to help guide some of the five children she has with her through the door so they don’t get stuck together in a jumble of bodies.

“Good morning, Castiel. Beautiful day out there today!” she comments.

“It certainly is. Can I help with anything?” he asks her.

The kids are already spilling into the reading room, pointing excitedly at the caterpillar poster he made and the butterflies on the ceiling.

“No, it looks like they’re under control right now. But thank you.”

“Let me know if you need anything at all,” Castiel reminds her. He gets a friendly pat on the shoulder as she walks by and he stays by the door to wait for the rest of the kids.

Ten minutes later, they have twenty-three children and he decides it’s time to start the book. He walks over to the carpet circle, watching with pride when all of the children hurry over to get a space on it and manage to accomplish it without tears. He waits for another parent to separate her children so they don’t fight, and then he gets down to business.

“Good morning, friends!” There’s a general smattering of hi, hello, and good mornings from the children. He smiles at them and then says, “Today we’re going to read a story about a caterpillar. Have any of you ever seen a caterpillar before?” Several hands shoot into the air and he nods encouragingly. “Have any of you ever seen a green caterpillar like this one?”

He hears, “Nooooo.”

“Me neither. What color was the caterpillar you saw, Gracie?”

“Uhm - it was - me thinks it was purple!” she says excitedly.

Some of the adults in the room laugh and Castiel tries to hold in his own chuckle.

“No! Capa-capta-capatillars are GREY!” another child answers.

“I’ve seen a grey caterpillar, too,” Castiel agrees. “Today we’re going to read about a green one though, and this caterpillar is very, very hungry. Try your best to remember to stay super quiet while I’m reading, okay? We’ll talk about your favorite parts at the end, and then we have a fun craft and a delicious snack for everybody with their listening ears on.”

He’s only interrupted a handful of times, which is a success when there’s so many young children all at once, and both the craft and the snacks also go seamlessly. By the time everybody’s cleared out, it’s lunch time, and Castiel takes the opportunity to seek out a little bit of peace and quiet to recharge. He takes his sandwich into his office and closes the door behind him. He spends ten minutes to eat his lunch in silence before he takes out his phone and checks for messages. As usual, there’s a couple from Dean.

 

 **DEAN:** Claire cried when I left her with my mom this morning.

 **DEAN:** My mom texted me afterwards with a picture of her smiling, so she got over it obviously, but that’s weird, right?

 **CASTIEL:** Yes, that is weird. She’s never done that before, has she?

 **DEAN:** No, I don’t think so. Not even when you left her here for the first time.

 **DEAN:** Do you think I should go down there and check on her now or do you think that’ll only make it worse?

 **CASTIEL:** I think your mom would have told one of us if she was having a bad day, so I think you should probably just leave her until pick up time. Don’t want to set her off again.

 **DEAN:** Yah.

 **CASTIEL:** I’m sure she’s fine  <3

 **DEAN:** I know. Still getting used to the whole worrying part of the parental-figure thing

 **CASTIEL:** And we both know how well you do with that :P

 **DEAN:** You know what helped the first time? ;)

 **CASTIEL:** I’m afraid I can’t threaten to withhold morning sex at the moment

 **DEAN:** Come on, Cas. You know that’s not what I meant.

 **DEAN:** Bribing with anytime sex will work :D

 **CASTIEL:** Somebody woke up on the horny side of the bed today ;)

 **DEAN:** Yah, I kinda did actually lol

 **CASTIEL:** Good thing we didn’t wake up at the same time :P

 **DEAN:** I think your phone autocorrected “too bad” to “good thing” haha

 **CASTIEL:** Oh would you look at that. Darn phone!

 **DEAN:** You nerd. You’re gonna have to help me out with this mood tonight ;)

 **CASTIEL:** I think I can arrange that :) Do you feel better about Claire now?

 **DEAN:** I’m sure as hell not thinking about her rn lol

 **CASTIEL:** Mission accomplished, then. I have to take a short lunch today to try to make up for this morning. All good?

 **DEAN:** Yah, I’m good. Don’t worry about me or Claire. Love you

 **CASTIEL:** Love you too

 

His afternoon is spent between helping at the front desk, ordering in new stock, dodging Meg, helping Chuck with the book he’s been writing between customers, and helping customers when they come in. It flies by as it usually does, though today his mind keeps drifting to thoughts of Dean and what they might do together tonight when Claire’s in bed...

Apparently, knowing his boyfriend is in a mood today has him in a similar state of mind, and he finds himself watching the clock eagerly until he can leave. When he gets home he’s glad he had the foresight to cook in the crock pot tonight. The stew smells amazing, and with the rolls Mary sent home with Dean yesterday, he knows dinner will be a hit with both Claire and Dean.

Since he doesn’t have much to do dinner-wise, he empties the dishwasher from this morning and sweeps the kitchen floor. Really, he’s trying to stay busy until Dean and Claire get home. He feels antsy and just wants to see them both.

Finally (actually, right on time, but it _feels_ later than usual) he hears his two favorite people in the hallway and goes to meet them at the door.

“Hi Da!” Claire shouts, throwing her arms in the air for him.

“Hello, pretty girl,” he says, pulling her to him for a hug. “Did you have fun at daycare today?”

“Cars,” she answers.

“Did you play cars with Bentley?”

 _Yes_ , she signs.

“That’s fun!”

“Car!” she says again, this time pointing to the TV.

“You want to watch UmiCar?” Castiel checks.

 _Yes! Please!_ she signs.

Castiel walks over to the couch and sits her on it before he grabs for the remote and turns on her favorite show. When she watches TV - Elmo or Team UmiZoomi - she’s like a zombie and doesn’t usually move a muscle until the episode is over, and that’s exactly what’s happening now as she zones out to her favorite show.

Which works out really well for him since he wants to get his hands on Dean.

He turns towards him and sees that he’s already kicked off his shoes. “Need any help with dinner? Smells damn good by the way.”

Castiel approaches him and slides his hands up his chest and around his neck before nuzzling into him, nosing along behind his ear and humming deep in his throat. “ _You_ smell damn good,” Castiel replies.

Almost instantly, Dean turns his head to meet Castiel’s lips, and Castiel feels his big hands on his ass, grabbing two handfuls and massaging his cheeks. “Missed you,” Dean says into his mouth. “Thought about you all day.”

Castiel feels desire curling inside of him, spurred on quickly by all the impure thoughts he’s been having all afternoon and _that thing_ Dean does with his tongue, and he can feel his erection already beginning to grow. He rocks his hips forward, letting Dean feel the effect he’s currently having on him, and when Dean urges him directly between his legs he can feel that he’s not the only one.

In a moment of spontaneity, he grabs Dean by the hand and starts pulling him down the hall into the bedroom. Claire will be glued to the TV for at least another twenty minutes, and he knows it isn’t going to take that long with the way he’s feeling.

“Cas, what - what’re you doing?” Dean asks, but Castiel can hear the smile in his voice and knows he knows exactly what he’s doing.

The minute they step into the bedroom Castiel pushes the door _almost_ all the way closed (that way he’ll be able to hear Claire if she needs them) and pulls Dean into his arms, crashing their lips together, and forcing his tongue into Dean’s mouth in a ferocious and dirty kiss. Dean kisses him back the same way, catching on swiftly and clearly on board with whatever Castiel has in mind.

He keeps kissing him hard and fast while he runs his hands down over his muscular chest - making sure to stop long enough to dance his fingers over Dean’s sensitive nipples - and down to undo the fly on his jeans. He can see the bulge already growing in Dean’s pants, and when he walks him backwards towards the bed while he pulls his fly down, he purposely brushes his fingers along his hardening length.

“Cas -” Dean says, wrenching his lips away, already breathing hard. Castiel doesn’t give him a reprieve though, he just moves his lips along his face and down to his neck, licking and nibbling on every exposed inch of skin he has access to. “Not that I’m complaining here, but what if -”

Dean’s cut off again when Castiel pushes his jeans and his boxers down over the swell of his ass and pushes him so that he’s sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Get those off,” he says to Dean as he works on undoing and pushing his own jeans down and off. Dean seems frozen in place and doesn’t seem able to tear his eyes away from Castiel’s half-hard cock which is filling more and more with every second it’s exposed. “ _Now_ ,” Castiel says, his voice harder this time. Dean flies into action and pulls his pants all the way off, and as soon as they’re gone, Castiel sinks to his knees in front of him. Dean’s almost fully hard now, and when Castiel takes him into his hand he can literally feel him get the rest of the way there - and fast. “We don’t have a lot of time, so don’t even think about holding back on me,” he says, and then he lowers his mouth to lick a long strip from the base of his cock to the tip. He licks his way back down and all the way around back up to the top, making sure to get him nice and wet.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean says above him, and Castiel feels his deep voice reverberate through him.

Dean’s fingers push through his hair softly a few times until they tighten and Dean pulls his mouth back to the tip of his cock. Knowing exactly what Dean wants, he parts his lips and sucks the crown of his cock into his mouth. “Ugh, fuck yes, just like that, honey,” Dean breathes. Castiel starts sucking as he swirls his tongue along his head, knowing by now exactly the things Dean likes the most and how to get him off the fastest. It isn’t about taking him as far into his mouth as he can - though Dean will never turn that down - for him, it’s all about the way he lavishes his tongue over his cockhead, the suction, and of course, Castiel’s big blue eyes staring up at him.

With that thought in mind, he opens his eyes and looks up at his boyfriend through his eyelashes. Dean’s mouth drops open and he thrusts gently into his mouth. Castiel hums his encouragement and starts working with the rhythm Dean’s setting with the shallow thrusting of his hips and his hands in his hair.

He uses his hand to stimulate the base of his cock, working over every inch of him, and it’s only a few minutes before Dean starts babbling, letting him know he’s getting there.

“So fucking hot, Cas. Been thinking about you all damn day, then I get home and you fucking blow me so damn good.” Castiel hums around him again and finally gives into the temptation to take himself into his hand. He moans as he strokes his neglected cock, drawing another sound of pleasure from his boyfriend. “God damn I love you. Just look at you getting off with my cock in your mouth.” Castiel moans again for him, letting him know his dirty talk is doing it for him. He maintains eye contact, hoping Dean can see just how hot he’s finding all of this. “Jerk that fat cock of yours for me. Fucking love your cock, Cas. So hot, babe. I’m almost there.”

Castiel speeds up his wrist, squeezing the head of his cock on the upstroke, not quite able to stifle another moan. “Sound so good. Your mouth fucking stuffed full of my cock. So hot, Cas. Keep going. I wanna see you come.”

Castiel shakes his head.

“No? You want me to swallow your cum, is that it?”

Castiel moans louder, sucking harder on the tip of Dean’s cock. “Ugh, fuck, yeah. I’ll swallow you so good. Right after I - ugh, shit, _yes_ \- right after I come down your throat. So close. Keep going, Cas.” Castiel swipes his tongue along the tip of his cock before he relaxes his jaw and takes him in as deep as he can, feeling his blunt head entering his throat.

“Oh, fuck,” Dean gasps. Castiel pulls up again, flicking his tongue once more, and then sinks right back down. “Yeah. Again, don’t stop. So close,” Dean warns him. The next time he forces his cock into his throat he can feel Dean’s fingers tightening in his hair, and the time after that, Dean’s body tenses. He takes a deep breath, knowing this is likely all it’s going to take, and as he swallows around Dean’s cock in his throat Dean lets out a guttural moan and pushes his head down even more until he’s gagging around him as Dean spills down his throat.

“Fuuuuck,” Dean gasps, his body jerking as he empties himself into Castiel’s mouth.

The second his fingers go slack in his hair, Castiel pulls off, gasping for breath. He doesn’t wipe off his face or swallow his final mouthful as he gets to his feet. Instead, he forces Dean’s head back and shoves his tongue into his mouth, making Dean lick his own cum off of his tongue. A thrill of _naughty_ runs through him as Dean moans into the kiss, and Castiel can only indulge him only for a minute before he drags him off the bed and onto the floor between his legs.

Dean opens his mouth obediently so that Castiel can push his cock inside, and they both groan simultaneously. Castiel is already close to the edge from jerking off and watching Dean come, so when Dean brings his hands to his head and tells him with the look in his eyes to fuck his face, he does it immediately. He knows Dean loves it when he gets a little rough, so he closes his eyes and tries not to think about being gentle with the man he loves, and instead, focuses only on his pleasure and how he needs and wants to come fast and hard.

He concentrates on how good it feels to have those luscious lips wrapped around him and the slick slide of his cock along Dean’s tongue, and fucks forwards in a brutally fast pace. He can hear the wet sounds of Dean not being able to swallow his saliva as it pools in his mouth, and when he opens his eyes to get a glimpse, he sees spit already dripping down his chin. Dean’s cheeks are flushed pink, his eyes are dark with arousal, and his lips are stretched obscenely around his cock. With his eyes locked onto one of the most erotic sights he’s ever seen, he thrusts his cock deep into Dean’s mouth, once, twice - his fingers tighten in Dean’s short hair at the same time he feels the rest of his body lock up, letting Dean know the only way he can that he’s about to come - before he bites down on his bottom lip to stifle his sound of pleasure as he comes into Dean’s absolutely gorgeous mouth.

Dean sucks until he’s spent and Castiel pulls out of his mouth, sinking to the ground in front of Dean. Their lips come together in a kiss sloppy with slobber and a mixture of their cum, and their hands caress each other’s bodies and faces with gentle touches. When they break away, they share almost shy smiles as they get to their feet and pull their boxers and jeans back on.

Castiel opens the bedroom door and looks down the hall to see Claire still sitting in front of the television, looking like she hasn't moved an inch. He turns back to Dean and walks into his open arms where they just hold onto each other for a little while as they come down from their orgasms.

“I dunno about you, but I sure as hell feel better,” Dean finally says.

“Yes, I feel the same. Glad to take the edge off at least.”

“Guess I’m not the only one who woke up on the horny side of the bed, huh?” Dean teases.

“I didn’t wake up that way, but my mind kept wandering to you in that kind of mood all afternoon and I suppose that got me there with you.”

“Good to know,” Dean grins.

“Since dinner was ready and Claire was already occupied... I saw an opportunity and took it,” Castiel explains.

“I’ve mentioned before that you’re a genius, right?”

“A time or two, yes,” Castiel replies.

Dean leans in to press his lips to Castiel’s once more before they walk hand in hand back into the kitchen and start grabbing dishes to fill with food and drinks. Both of them trade soft, satisfied smiles and lingering touches while they begin the familiar dance of serving dinner in their apartment. When Dean carries Claire in from the living room and puts her in her highchair, he marvels for what feels like the millionth time at the knowledge that he gets to have perfect days like these all the time now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the speech therapy stuff is based off of my own experience with my son in Canada. It may not be exactly the same as how it works in the USA, but I hope it’s close :)


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel sits in the passenger seat of the Impala with his stomach in knots and a smile on his face that he knows isn’t convincing Dean in the least.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? Because my mom said she can come pick her up anytime if you’re not,” Dean says, not for the first time.

“Claire would be heartbroken. She’s excited to sleep over at Bentley’s.”

“Yeah, but she’s not even two yet. Like you keep tellin’ me, she doesn’t get to call the shots,” Dean says, smiling at him.

Castiel inhales and exhales slowly, reminding himself to look at the facts instead of his emotions. “I know logically she’s going to be fine. Jess and Sam are more than capable of taking care of her - they have more experience with children than I do, when it comes down to it. It’s just… hard for me to know she’s sleeping away from home for the first time. I feel like it means she grew up too fast.”

“So we go pick her up and bring her home after, then. You know she’s out like a light once she falls asleep. She probably won’t even wake up.”

The offer is tempting, but he knows this will be harder the longer he puts it off. “No, I’m sure I’ll be fine. I know I’m being one of those airplane parents again.”

Dean leans over and kisses him on the cheek. “It’s a helicopter parent, hon.”

“Same thing,” he insists, ignoring the way Dean’s eyes are laughing at him.

“We’re supposed to be celebrating _your_ birthday tonight. I wanna do whatever you wanna do, and if you don’t want Claire to sleep somewhere else yet then I say we should go back in there and get her. We’re not even outta the parking lot yet. Jess and Sam will get it.”

This is another one of of those moments when he loves Dean so much he can physically feel it inside of him, and just like that, the strength to leave Claire in the very capable hands of Dean’s brother and sister-in-law is within his grasp.

“Well, what I really want to do for my birthday _is you_ , so in order for that to happen, Claire needs to be elsewhere,” he responds.

Dean’s face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Wait ‘til you see the pretty bow I got for my ass,” Dean jokes, making him chuckle.

“Thank you for being understanding - again.”

Dean shrugs. “You know I’m gonna freak out about her being away later, so I figured I’d take the first round of supportive boyfriend.”

“Oh, Dean,” he says purposefully. “It’s _adorable_ that you think you’re going to have enough energy left to worry about anything by the time I’m done with you.”

“Aaaand I just came in my pants,” Dean deadpans.

Laughter rolls through him, and he reaches out to lay a hand on Dean’s knee just to touch him. “Let’s go,” he says with conviction this time.

“Still up for a drink or two at the Roadhouse before we head home?”

“As long as you don’t make me sing karaoke this time,” Castiel replies.

“Oh don’t even try and pretend you don’t like it. I know you too well for that now.” Castiel grins, because Dean’s at least partially right. More than anything, he likes the way Dean looks at him when he’s up on stage, but he’s never admitted to that part... not even to Dean. “But you can breathe easy for now, there’s no karaoke tonight.”

“Happy birthday to me,” he quips.

Dean shoots him a fond look and then they take off towards the Roadhouse. They’ve only been there three times, but he likes it, and he feels at ease when he walks through the door with his hand on Dean’s lower back. He looks around for a table and is surprised to see a table with a bunch of balloons floating in the air and Charlie, Jo, Chuck, and... Meg?... sitting there.

“Surprise,” Dean says, so close he can feel his breath warm on his ear. He turns to face him and sees Dean has an unsure smile on his face. “You said you wanted to do the family thing Tuesday, but I kept getting messages from your friends asking me what we were doing for your birthday. I know we kinda talked about us having the night to ourselves, but, well... it’s only six. We’ve got lots of time, right?”

Castiel is still stuck on _your friends_. That’s what ends up coming out of his mouth. “My friends?”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “Yeah, you know, those people sittin’ there with those stupid party hats on their heads?”

Castiel turns back around to see all of them with hats on their heads - even Meg. He shakes his head in disbelief. “I - I don’t - how did you get them all to come for me? Those are your friends, not mine.”

Dean snorts and claps his hand down on his shoulder. “Go over there and tell Charlie and Jo you said that and let me know how that goes for you. Besides, I’ve never even met your work friends.” Castiel stands there and looks at him stupidly. He can’t believe this is happening. “C’mon, Cas, let’s go celebrate your birthday with your friends before I let you unwrap me at home.”

With no other choice, he walks over to the table and is greeted by everybody shouting, “Happy birthday, Castiel!” all at once and still somehow nowhere close to in sync.

“I... thank you,” he replies, feeling like a fish out of water.

“Saved you a seat, Clarence,” Meg says, patting the empty seat on the bench next to her.

He doesn’t like the idea of being that close to her for however long they’ll be here, but Dean gives him a little push and with no other option without being rude, he slides in next to her, making sure to leave more space than is technically necessary.

Dean leans across the table and smiles at Meg and Chuck. “Thanks for coming, guys. I know you probably figured this out already, but I’m Dean.”

“Just when I thought Clarence here was the fairest of them all,” Meg drawls, very obviously raking her eyes over Dean’s face and muscular shoulders.

“He is,” Dean insists. “Why Clarence, though?”

“It’s a - uh - my fault,” Chuck says, wringing his hands around the glass of beer in front of him. “When I asked Castiel about the origin of his name Meg started with the Clarence thing and hasn’t, you know, stopped.”

“Wait a second, are you callin’ Cas an angel?” Meg smiles, appearing unashamed. “No hitting on my boyfriend. Get your own.”

“Believe me, I’ve tried, but he always turns me down,” Meg answers, batting her eyelashes at Castiel.

“See! I told you people have sex in libraries,” Charlie chimes in.

“They better not be,” Dean says under his breath.

Apparently Meg hears him too, because she says, “Don’t be jealous, Dean. There’s _lots_ of me to go around.” She punctuates that statement by leaning on the table, and even Castiel can’t help but notice that her ample cleavage is dangerously close to spilling out of her top completely. Castiel glances at Dean to see his eyes resolutely trained on the ceiling.

Dean leans closer to him and whispers, “I gotta be nice to your friends, right?”

“I don’t even know if _friend_ is the right word when it comes to her,” Castiel replies just as quietly.

“Can I tell her to put her tits away, then?”

Castiel tries to hide a smile. “Not even going to pretend you didn’t notice?”

“Unless I tried to fake temporary blindness, I was pretty sure that wouldn’t fly,” Dean says knowingly. “She always like this?”

Castiel nods. “Unfortunately, yes. However, I’m not tempted by her revealing clothing the way some people are.”

“Shut up, I didn’t even look,” Dean insists. “In case you forgot, I’m a little busy being disgustingly in love with you and your dick.”

“Ew!” Jo exclaims suddenly. Castiel looks across the table at her and it’s pretty clear based on the look on her face that she just overheard what Dean said. “Could you at least wait to be gross until I get a beer or two in me?”

“My apologies,” Castiel says quickly. “Thank you for coming, Jo.”

“Her and Charlie were the two biggest pains in my ass,” Dean says. “They weren’t letting it go.”

“Elsa, I am not,” Charlie agrees with a nod. “You’re my bff always and forever, Deannie, but Castiel has a special place in this rainbow striped heart of mine.”

“See, I told you they were your friends,” Dean says. “And before I forget, Jess and Sam told me to make sure you know they really wanted to be here, too. Sam thinks you’re the coolest thing since blenders were invented, and Jess obviously thinks you’re awesome. Just couldn’t make it work with Bentley and Claire.”

“Thankfully I will see them Tuesday, but I’ll make sure to mention that you passed on the message. Thank you.”

“For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow...” Castiel hears a loud voice singing incredibly off-key at a surprisingly loud decibel even inside the bar, and he turns his head to see Gabriel approaching their table. “For he’s a jolly good felllloooooowwwww - which nobody can deny!”

Everybody at the table claps and cheers, and he blushes furiously when he hears the same sounds echoing all around him, letting him know others in the bar have joined in on the celebration.

“Was that entirely necessary?” he asks Gabriel.

“Oh, hell yeah!” Gabriel answers enthusiastically. “First drink’s on the house, birthday boy. What’s your pleasure? Besides Ken Doll, I mean.”

“Please, I am _way_ better looking than Ken,” Dean scoffs.

“And you’re not junkless,” Charlie adds, grinning.

“I can vouch for that,” Castiel jokes. Then when everybody laughs he tells Gabriel, “I’m not really looking to drink much tonight. And I’m sure the free beverage is only valid on the actual date of birth. My birthday isn’t until Tuesday.”

“I know! It’s _so crazy_ your birthday is actually today! That worked out so well!” Gabriel says with his eyes almost scarily wide, which makes Dean laugh beside him. That’s when Castiel realizes he was being dim on purpose to get him a free beer. Once again, Dean has saved him from an embarrassing social situation.

“You should have a beer, hon,” Dean suggests. “You don’t have to get drunk.”

“I wouldn’t want to,” Castiel says, sliding his hand along his knee to make sure Dean’s getting his meaning.

Gabriel lights up at that, exclaiming, “Oh-ho! I’ll take birthday sex for two thousand, Alex.”

“Ba-joom, ba-joom, ba-joom! That’s a Daily Double!” Charlie exclaims in a deeper than usual voice.

Having forgotten just how crazy Dean’s friends - his friends? - can get when they’re all together like this, he reconsiders Gabriel’s offer for a beer. “On second thought, a Corona would be great. Thank you, Gabriel.”

“I live to serve. Anybody else?” he asks the table.

“Just a Pepsi for me, and Cas likes lime with his Corona if you have any,” Dean says, covering his hand on his thigh. Castiel slots their fingers together and smiles at his thoughtfulness.

“Another Dirty Martini,” Meg drawls.

“There’s a shocker,” Dean says under his breath.

“Comin’ right up,” Gabriel promises before he takes off again with an exaggerated bow.

Everybody seems to turn and look at Castiel expectantly now that Gabriel is gone, and he has no idea why or what he’s supposed to say. His hand tightens on Dean’s, and Dean barely misses a beat before he says, “So whose idea was it to bring the party hats?”

Castiel would kiss him if he wasn’t afraid of being made fun of by everybody.

“Guilty,” Charlie responds raising her hand, and Dean chuckles softly.

“Why am I not surprised?” Dean replies.

“Because I’m awesome sauce.”

“And humble, too,” Meg says, lifting a brow again.

Castiel barely hears Chuck breath, “Jeez,” under his breath.

“Problem, Chuckles?” Meg asks him.

“No! N-no. I just thought that - that maybe you should try to - you know - make a good impression or try to be a little nicer to Castiel’s friends when you’re meeting them for the first time, that’s all.”

“I like this guy,” Dean says to Castiel. Then he leans around him to say, “Next drink’s on me, buddy.” He adds a friendly wink and a finger gun, and Castiel sees Chuck’s eyes go dramatically wide while his cheeks turn pink. He’s torn between laughing and sympathizing with him, understanding very well just how that wink of Dean’s can disarm a person.

“I told you before - you can’t just wink at people like that,” Castiel reminds Dean. “Sorry, Chuck. He doesn’t understand the effect he has on people.”

“Wh-what? He’s not - affecting me...” Chuck says, but he looks down at the table and now Castiel can’t hide his soft laughter.

“Believe me, I get it,” he tells him. “But I will fight you for him if it comes to that,” he adds, obviously joking.

“I’d watch that,” Dean comments from beside him, and Castiel turns back to give him an amused look. “What? You’re all kinds of hot when you’re mad.”

“What’d you do to make him mad?” Jo asks. “Before this, I mean,” she adds, making Charlie snort.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Dean dodges smoothly. “Oh hey! If it isn’t my favorite bartender.”

Gabriel tilts his head as he starts passing out drinks. “What’d you do? You only ever pretend to like me after you stepped in a big steaming pile of shit.”

“He had diarrhea of the mouth and started saying how he’d like to see Castiel and Chuck fight,” Charlie answers.

“Thanks buddy, _super_ helpful,” Dean says dryly to Charlie.

“Is that a thing for guys, too? I’d pay a pretty penny to see these two roll around in a mud puddle,” Gabriel says, pointing to Jo and Charlie, “so that I get. But two dudes? What’s sexy about balls wagging around?”

“Put that on a bumper sticker and you’d be rich,” Jo quips.

“It’s not about balls,” Meg answers. “Though I like ‘em just fine. It’s the rock hard bodies banging against each other. All that muscle, brute strength, and raging testosterone? I’d get in the middle of that sandwich,” she says, first eying Chuck (who looks like he would like to sink right through the floor) and then at Castiel.

“Did she seriously just say that!?” Dean says to the table, obviously exasperated. “If she was a dude I’d punch her,” he says more quietly.

“Put your dick away, Winchester, I know he was your boyfriend first,” she says dismissively, still not letting up on the way she’s eyeing Castiel like she wants to eat him alive. “Doesn’t mean I can’t wait in the wings for your sloppy seconds.”

“I have told you repeatedly -” Castiel begins.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Meg says playfully, wagging her finger at him while she sips her drink. “We aren’t at work, Clarence. You always tell me it’s not appropriate _at work_. Now we’re among friends. There’s nothing wrong with suggesting a Happy Birthday three-way.”

“What the actual fuck,” Dean grumbles. “Back off, lady,” he barks at her.

“Speaking of _hot as fuck when he’s angry_ ,” Meg drawls to Castiel. “I’m not picky on which sandwich I’d get in the middle of,” she says, rubbing his thigh suggestively.

Castiel tries to put some space between them so quickly he ends up knocking Dean’s Pepsi with his elbow and spilling it all over the table. Dean hops out of his seat, and Castiel follows suit. The soda quickly seeps towards Charlie and Jo, who basically crawl over each other with a mixture of laughter and dramatic flailing to get out from their side of the table before the soda spills all over them. Now everybody is out of their seats except for Meg and Chuck, who’s stuck beside Meg in the corner.

“Alright, alright,” Gabriel says loudly. “You two break it up before somebody spills the good stuff,” he says to Castiel and Meg.

Castiel purses his lips, both embarrassed and annoyed to be blamed for this when Meg was the one who caused the scene. “She was touching me under the table without my permission.”

“SHE WHAT?” Dean shouts.

“I’m sorry I spilled your drink,” he says to Dean, hoping to calm him down some. “Gabriel, I’ll pay for another one.”

Gabriel waves him away. “Happens all the time. Sort your shit out and I’ll be right back to clean this mess up.”

“Who the fuck cares about a drink?” Dean says quietly in Jo’s direction. She’s still just barely managing to stifle her giggles, but he notes that Charlie’s face is harder than he’s ever seen it.

Castiel draws himself up to his full height and turns to face Meg. “I am not interested in a three-way with you on my birthday or any other night - ever! I am with Dean and Dean only and you are one comment away from losing any chance of whatever friendly working relationship we may have had by acting like this.”

“This was supposed to be a fun night out for Castiel’s birthday, and no offense lady, but you’re kinda dragging us all down here,” Charlie tells her. “I get it, because the pair of them are prettier than any couple has the right to be, but believe me, these two are _solid_ and you’re not gonna wiggle your way in between the cracks because _there are none..._ even if you do kinda look like a sex demon.”

“I’m gay!” Castiel reminds them both.

“And taken,” Dean adds. “And for the record - there ain’t ever gonna be _sloppy seconds_ when it comes to Cas ‘cause I’m not dumb enough to let him go. So put yourself in the middle of _that..._  sandwich...” Dean finishes somewhat lamely.

Castiel has to fight to hide his smile.

“So close, too,” Jo snarks, which doesn’t help in the least.

Meg scoots out of the booth with a sigh. She somehow manages to level Dean (who towers over her small frame) with a single glare cold enough to freeze fire, then trails her hand across Castiel’s back as she walks out of the bar without a word said _still_ wearing a party hat.

They all glance at each other wordlessly, and it’s Chuck who breaks the silence between them.

“Do you - um - should I go, too?” he asks.

“No way man,” Dean answers. “You’re cool.”

“I’d like it if you stayed, if you’re still willing. I’m sure you weren’t looking for that kind of confrontation when you came out tonight, and I apologize for that,” Castiel says.

“Honestly, I’ve been waiting for you to put Meg in her place for a while now,” Chuck answers.

“I was trying not to make it awkward at work, but it seems that ship has sailed.”

“It’s not your fault, Castiel,” Jo tells him. “If somebody kept hitting on me at work after I told them to piss off I would’ve flipped my shit a lot sooner than that.”

“I can see why you and Dean get along so well,” he replies.

“Okay, Gabe to the rescue. Gimme two minutes and you’ll be clean as a whistle,” Gabriel says, approaching the table with a cloth. He babbles on, but Castiel is distracted when Dean puts his hands on his hips and pulls him closer.

“How come you never told me there was somebody at work tryin’ to get in your pants?” he asks.

Castiel frowns. “I don’t know. It didn’t seem important considering she’s a woman and I’m gay. I was never threatened by her behavior.”

“But still,” Dean says with a shrug.

“I’m sorry if you feel like I was hiding something from you. It wasn’t intentional,” he explains.

“I know that part. Just don’t like thinkin’ about somebody else spending so much time with you at work and hitting on you all damn day.”

He can understand that considering he would feel the same if the situation was reversed. “Hopefully what I said today will get through to her. If not, I’ll say something to my boss,” he promises. Dean nods, still not looking entirely pleased. “You know I only have eyes for you, Dean,” he adds, wanting Dean to know he has nothing to worry about. Dean’s lips turn up at the corners and he knows now that adding those words were the right thing to do. He still wonders how a man who looks like him and treats him as well as he does can possibly be insecure. “I promise you, my heart is so full of love for you it isn’t possible for anybody else to fit.”

Dean’s smile grows and he pulls him in even closer to say, “That might be the corniest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Before he can try to defend himself, Dean’s lips are pressed against his, and as usual, he feels his body melt into him. Dean’s tongue slips between his lips, and just as he opens his mouth, Dean is ripped away from him.

“Hey!” Dean protests.

“I didn’t come here to see you two suck face all night,” Charlie says, arms crossed. Castiel barely registers Gabriel’s retreating form because he’s watching Charlie give Dean a little shove and points to the booth where Jo’s already slid back in. “You go there, and you,” she nods back to Castiel’s seat, “go sit with your work friend.”

He can feel his lips forming a pout even as he follows her suggestion without complaint. He doesn’t want to sit away from Dean. The original plan was for it to be just the two of them tonight, and while he’s happy to share their time with their friends, he doesn’t want to be forced to sit apart.

“You know I love you Charles, but it’s Cas’s birthday party and there’s no way I’m not sittin’ with him. Deal with it,” Dean says, moving back around Charlie to slide in beside him.

“Thank you,” he says quietly, slotting their fingers together in Dean’s lap.

“Forgot how stubborn you can be,” Charlie says, sitting across from them. “Try to keep the handies subtle at least, okay?”

Chuck starts choking on his drink beside him and Castiel smiles over at him. “She’s joking,” he assures him. “I’ve heard rumors that Dean’s into exhibitionism but it isn’t something we’ve explored as of yet.”

This time it’s Dean who chokes a little on his Pepsi and Charlie is suddenly unable to contain her excitement. “I can’t believe you just added _as of yet_ to the end of that sentence. I told you he was perfect for you, you big lug!”

The next thing he knows there’s a sharp pain in his shin and he calls out, “Ow!”

“Whoopsies! That was meant for Dean,” Charlie says with a laugh.

“Well this is going well,” Dean says sarcastically. “Made you fight with your co-worker, got you kicked by my best friend. Best birthday party ever.”

Dean says it like he’s joking, but Castiel knows he takes things like this to heart. He’s long suspected that Dean keeps a mental list of all the times he thinks he’s screwed up to beat himself up with when he feels like he deserves it. “Dean,” he says softly, about to tell him none of that matters, that’s he’s happy to be here with him and his friends, but Charlie interrupts.

“Ooooh I know what’ll make it better! PRESENTS!”

“We were supposed to bring presents?” Chuck squeaks.

“No!” Castiel says quickly.

“Don’t worry about it. I didn’t bring anything either,” Dean tells him.

If Castiel were braver he would say something about him sitting on his present. Instead he says, “Charlie, you really didn’t have to get me anything.”

“But I did?” Jo asks.

“You - you got me something, too?” he asks.

“What? You think Charlie’s the only one who thinks you’re the best thing that ever happened to Dean?” He smiles happily at the compliment. “I think you’re pretty awesome too, you know. Hands down the person I like best out of everybody Dean’s dated.”

“I - thank you. I, um, think you’re pretty awesome, too,” he says shyly.

“Open mine first!” Charlie insists, producing a small lump wrapped in _happy birthday_ paper with a jumble of curly ribbon on top.

Castiel takes it nervously and gently tears the paper off. He’s extremely aware of everybody watching him again and can feel his face heating up the more he thinks about it. Thankfully it’s a small gift. As soon as he feels the yarn in his hands and sees the stripes of maroon and gold he knows exactly what it is and _loves it_ , so his reaction is genuine.

“My very own Gryffindor House scarf!” he says joyfully.

“Handmade with love,” she beams at him.

His eyes go a little wide and he looks down at it again, running his fingers along the pattern. “It’s beautifully made. It must have taken quite some time. I’m in awe of it, Charlie, truly. Thank you.” He throws it over his head and lets it hang over his neck and down his shoulders before he meets her eyes and gives her a shy smile.

“Looks damn good on you,” Dean says, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

“Gonna have to agree with my bestie,” Charlie says. “Glad you like it!”

“Gryffindor?” Chuck asks suddenly. “I would have pegged you as a Hufflepuff.”

“Oh yeah, I can see that,” Dean says. “But Cas is stupid brave, too. I mean, walking out on a rich dude to start all over again on his own with a baby, with nowhere to go and nobody to help is one of the bravest things I’ve ever heard.”

He’ll never get used to hearing anybody talk about him that way, and he reaches out to drink some of his beer since he doesn’t know how to respond.

“I’ve uh, never heard that story,” Chuck says. “But I agree. Definitely some balls there.”

Dean’s hand tightens on his and he knows it’s his way of apologizing for not asking before he told Chuck about Arthur, but he doesn’t mind.

“Okay, okay, me next,” Jo says, sliding a card across the table. “Sorry it’s not handmade like Charlie’s.”

“Believe me, you don’t want anything she’d make you anyway,” Dean tells Castiel.

“Oh yeah, and you’re real crafty. Pretty sure I’ve got some homemade cards lying around that would make you eat your words,” she says.

“Loser. Who keeps homemade birthday cards from when we were kids?” Dean answers.

Castiel ignores the two of them bickering as usual and slides his finger along the seam of the envelope to tear it open. He pulls out a card that’s plain white on the front with big, black text that says, “What? Just because you’re gay you thought I’d get you a flamboyant card that perpetuates offensive stereotypes?” He huffs out a bit of a laugh and then full on chuckles when he opens the card to see the entire inside covered in rainbow stripes with a shirtless cowboy riding a unicorn and the words, [“You’re right! Happy birthday you big, fabulous queen!”](https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/477588612/gay-birthday-card-funny-card-happy?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=gay%20birthday%20card&ref=sr_gallery-1-6)

Dean and Chuck both crack up laughing too, and Charlie begs to see it. He turns it around to show her and she squeals, “Holy shit, I LOVE THAT! Where did you get it? Can I buy in bulk?”

Jo grins and explains she got it on Etsy before prompting Castiel to check out the tiny envelope that fell out of the card.

It’s a gift certificate for the movie theatre with a note on it that says, “Complete with *two hours of free babysitting. *Can only be redeemed while said baby is sleeping. Diaper changing not included.”

He smiles up at her. “Thank you, Jo. That’s a very thoughtful gift.”

“She just wants to get you two kicked out of the movie theater for giving the exhibitionist thing a whirl,” Charlie jokes.

“Ew, no. I don’t even wanna think about that! In fact, gimme that gift card so I can add another asterisk to it.”

“No deal! Cas, don’t you give it to her,” Dean says, holding his arm out as if to hold him back.

He looks at Jo again. “I’m afraid I have to listen to Dean for the time being, seeing as he hasn’t given me his gift yet and I don’t want to miss out.”

“Oooh did you get him something good?” Charlie asks.

“One of a kind,” Dean answers, smirking at Castiel, who - predictably - blushes.

Charlie narrows her eyes at them. “It’s something dirty, isn’t it?”

“Not if I can help it,” Dean says under his breath and Castiel chokes out a laugh.

“So that’s a yes,” Charlie answers for herself.

After the gifts, conversation seems to flow much more easily; Charlie was right about that. They all talk a little bit about the book Chuck is writing, and he even gets both Jo and Charlie to agree to let him base characters off of them. Dean shares a text message with him from Sam which has a picture of Claire sleeping in Bentley’s room in a play pen with Bentley sleeping on the floor beside her. Castiel indulges in a second beer after that, and once that’s done, it’s almost eight, and when Dean suggests they call it a night, he agrees.

They walk out of the Roadhouse hand in hand and sit in a comfortable silence on the ride home while he thinks about how he just spent a (mostly) enjoyable evening out with people who consider him a friend, something that hasn’t happened in a long while.

He says as much to Dean when they’re walking through the hallway back to their apartment. “I don’t think I’ve had actual friends since high school.”

Dean eyes him before he gets the key in the lock. “I’m not really buyin’ that. I get the feeling more people think of themselves as your friend than you catch on to.”

He considers that. “You may be right,” he admits.

When they walk into the apartment with the lights off, he can see candle light flickering from their bedroom. He immediately turns to face Dean, who already has a faint blush on his cheeks.

“You are the sweetest man,” he tells him.

After he slides his scarf off and hangs it on the hook by the door, he takes the hand Dean offers him and they walk into their bedroom together. There are dozens of candles all over their bedroom, soft music playing from his pill speaker, actual rose petals on the bed... and the biggest bottle of lube he’s ever seen in his life right in the middle of them. Not the brand they usually use, either.

“Goddammit, Sammy,” Dean grumbles. Once Castiel figures out that Dean had Sam help him to set this up and make it as romantic as he did, and then Sam added the lube, he starts laughing. Dean’s annoyance seems to turn to amusement after he sees that Castiel isn’t bothered by the joke. “He’s gonna be sorry when I get him back for this,” he says, grabbing the bottle and placing it on his nightstand.

“I’m not complaining. A bottle that big will last us a while, and it’s not like it’s cheap,” Castiel says. When Dean smiles at him he feels his heart clench. After both of them have waited and wanted this for so long, this is actually about to happen. “Thank you for doing all of this. It’s perfect.”

“Sorta feel like a chick,” Dean admits. “But I figure we’ve been waiting for a while and I kinda felt like we deserved something nice, you know?”

“You do deserve something nice,” he agrees.

Dean nods and runs a hand through his hair, ruffling it at the back. “I’m hoping you’ll take the lead here like you usually do. I - I feel like I’ve wanted this for so long I’m already not really thinking straight.”

Castiel takes a few steps forward to erase the distance that’s between them. “Are you nervous?” he asks him.

“No,” Dean answers. “I’m... anxious might be the right word. I know I want this.” Dean’s eyes lock onto his. “Want _you_ , Cas.”

He’s sure Dean has no idea what those words do to him. He lifts his hands to cup his face, running his thumbs along those high cheek bones of his. “Then you’ll have me,” he promises. And then he tilts his head back and pushes upwards to press their lips together. This song and dance is familiar as anything to him by now, and still, he doesn’t want Dean any less now than he did the first time they kissed so many months ago. If anything, their relationship, the connection they have, and the love he feels for Dean only makes him want him more with every day that passes.

He wants this to be everything Dean’s ever wanted it to be, and he’s going to be as thorough and loving as possible. With that thought in mind, he lets his hands drift to the back of his neck, over the width of his shoulders, and down the bulge of his biceps. He keeps his touch light when he moves his hands to Dean’s stomach and just barely skims his palms up his torso and over his chest, licking into Dean’s mouth and making a soft sound of pleasure when Dean returns his kiss passionately.

Dean’s lips are the softest, most plush lips he’s ever had the pleasure of kissing, and his body begins to respond to the slick slide of their tongues tangling together. With Claire not here for once, he lets Dean completely encompass all of his senses. He can smell the deep and earthy cologne Dean must have put on just to drive him crazy tonight; feel his muscular frame pressing into his hands asking for his touch. He tears away from Dean’s mouth to work his lips over that one spot behind Dean’s ear he likes so much, and he can hear the way Dean’s already beginning to breathe harder. The catch of their stubble as he kisses his way back along his jaw and down his neck makes his own breath hitch. When Dean finally raises his hands to his hips and tugs him closer, their growing erections press together and he elicits his first needy sound from Dean.

Almost instantly, Dean’s hands lift to find bare skin, pushing under his shirt and running along the expanse of his lower back. The sensation of Dean’s callused hands on him causes a shiver to run through him and his lips break their seal on Dean’s neck. Dean takes advantage of it by lifting his shirt up and over his head, and then it’s Dean’s turn to have his mouth on his skin. Dean’s more insistent, and Castiel gasps at the sweet sting of the tiny love bites Dean peppers along his throat, laving over them with his tongue before moving on to the next one. Castiel tilts his head back, giving Dean additional access to him and smiling at the happy hum Dean makes at his submission. Dean threads his fingers into the hair at the back of his head and tugs, making Castiel bare even more of his throat before diving in to taste it, too.

He pushes Dean’s legs apart with his foot and wedges his thigh between them, rolling his hips forward to seek the friction he’s already desperate for. He’s surprised to feel just how hard Dean is against his thigh and makes his own happy sound in his throat.

“You really are anxious,” he teases him, pressing himself against his erection to make sure he knows the meaning behind his words.

“Told you -” Dean says, cutting off to stretch the collar of his t-shirt down to get his lips on his collar bone - “I want you.”

“Let me see you,” Castiel tells him, lifting the hem of his t-shirt until Dean grabs at it and removes it for him. “Mmm much better.”

Dean shakes his head in baffled amusement, like he can never quite figure out why he’s so eager to see his body - which in turn is something _he’ll_ never understand. Dean’s a work of art. The way his wide shoulders and muscular arms taper down to his narrow hips is a sight he knows he’ll never tire of seeing. Dean’s skin is a permanent golden color, as if he’s kissed by the sun year-round, and anytime he sees it shine with sweat as it’s already beginning to do now, he seems to lose his train of thought. He’s absolutely breathtaking.

With that thought in mind, he starts to back Dean up towards the bed. As usual, Dean allows himself to be led by Castiel, and that in itself heats his blood a little bit more. To feel such a large and powerful man relinquish himself to him in this way is always an incredible turn on.

Dean stops when the backs of his knees hit the bed, but instead of falling back down onto it the way he usually does, he braces his hands on Castiel’s biceps and holds himself upright.

“Is everything alright?” Castiel asks.

“The uh, rose petals,” Dean says. “Seemed like a good idea at the time, but what’re we supposed to do? Fuck on top of them?”

Castiel’s lips quirk at the thought.

“It wouldn’t be a very good first experience for you to get rose petals lodged in areas they don’t belong,” he comments.

“Farts would smell better though,” Dean jokes. Castiel leans his forehead against Deans and groans unhappily. Dean and Sam with their never-ending fart jokes will be the death of him, he’s sure of it. Dean snorts with laugher and says, “Well there’s one way to kill the mood, huh?”

Castiel pushes his erection against him and has to bite the inside of his lip when it feels better than he expected it to. “It’s going to take more than a tasteless fart joke to make me stop wanting you.”

“Thank god,” Dean responds, grinning. “Seriously though, should we just toss the comforter onto the ground?”

“That sounds reasonable,” he says calmly, internally thinking that whatever he can do to get Dean on his back fastest sounds like the best option. Dean turns to grab it and heave it off of the bed, taking most of the decorative pillows with him. Castiel walks to the head of the bed to pull all of those off but one, and then Dean shoots him another grin and hops onto their bed.

Castiel unbuttons his own jeans and pulls them down over his hips along with his boxers, stepping on the toes of his socks to get those off, too. Dean’s looking at his bobbing cock and licking his lips lewdly. He can’t help but tease him as he climbs onto the bed between his spread legs. “See something you like?”

“Yeah, the thing that’s supposed to make me come so hard I scream,” Dean answers without missing a beat. A mixture of arousal and pride bubbles up inside of him. Not so long ago he couldn’t even touch Dean’s ass without his body freezing up on him, and now he wants him inside of him - where nobody has ever been.

Not wanting to put this off any longer, he flips the button on Dean’s fly and the two of them work together to pull them down. He tugs off his socks, smiling down at him while he does it, and then leaves a series of wet kisses up the inside of his leg, over his hip, and to his chest. He brushes Dean’s nipples with his thumbs, watching with fascination when they harden and Dean’s breath comes out on a quick pant. Knowing just how sensitive Dean is, he takes his time teasing them. He licks one, and then the other, pausing to blow a cool puff of air over them both before rolling the pink nubs between his fingers. He continues to pluck at one while he takes the other into his mouth, laving his tongue across it before applying suction.

“Shit,” Dean breathes. He feels Dean’s fingers slide into his hair again before he holds him in place with a soft, “Mmm.” Castiel indulges him, closing his teeth around his nipple and pulling on it once before he kisses it better, feeling Dean’s grip relax at his gentle touch. He lifts his head and finally, _finally_ gives into his own desire and slowly lays his body down on top of Dean’s. He takes care to slot their hard cocks together perfectly as he lowers himself down and catches Dean’s gasp with his lips when he kisses him again.

Dean’s hands roam his body: over his back, following the dip of his tailbone down to his ass, and up between his shoulder blades again. His hands are rough but his touch is gentle, and Castiel feels himself heating up from the inside out. Being with Dean always makes him feel so much, but being with him _like this_ , actually feeling the way Dean loves him through his touch is consistently almost unbearable.

He breaks their kiss only to peck him quickly once more and say, “I love you.”

“Love you,” Dean answers, the truth of his statement reflected in those eyes he loves so much. Then Dean is reaching sideways and holding out a bottle of lube with a somewhat sheepish grin.

Castiel grins right back and says, “I think we should start with the flavored stuff tonight, but keep that handy.”

He would swear he actually sees Dean’s eyes darken as he hastily drops the first bottle and reaches for another, making a sound of triumph when he finds it. Castiel lowers his lips to his collarbone which is already bruised in several places from previous hickies, but that doesn’t stop him from starting a new one while he spreads Dean’s legs wider and guides him to plant his feet on the bed. Dean’s the one who pops the cap of the lube and squeezes some onto Castiel’s fingers for him.

He spreads the lube along Dean’s ass crack and already, Dean moans for him. Castiel praises him silently with a kiss underneath his chin, and then lets his lips linger as he circles Dean’s rim with his fingertip briefly before pushing inside of him.

Dean gasps and bucks beneath him just from that, and he knows it’s at least slightly due to Dean being caught off guard from him moving so quickly. Usually he draws this out because Dean enjoys it so much, but knowing that Dean can come untouched _and_ how tight he’s going to be, he doesn’t want to linger too much in case they both can’t make it through this.

“Okay?” Castiel checks.

“Yeah - it’s good - just surprised me.”

Castiel nibbles on the bolt of his jaw. “Difference between being fingered and being prepped. My fingers aren’t the main event tonight, and I don’t want either of us to get too excited too soon.”

Dean nods, and Castiel begins to slide his finger in and out, gently rutting against the crease of Dean’s hip while he does it. Soon enough, Dean’s ready for a second finger, and then he’s begging for a third. Instead of giving it to him right away, he flips Dean over onto his stomach and squeezes those round globes of his ass with his palms. He watches Dean’s back muscles roll for a minute as he ruts against the bed beneath him, but eventually lowers his mouth to bite down hard on one of his ass cheeks. Dean yelps in surprise, but stops his movements the way he wanted him to.

Castiel spreads his ass and kisses his way down to his waiting hole. He’s already glistening and stretched enough that Castiel dives in without reservation. He seals his mouth over his opening and makes it nice and wet for him the way he likes it the most, moaning against his skin when he inhales the familiar scent and taste of him.

“Aw, fuck, Cas,” Dean gasps.

Dean can never hold back when he does this for him, and it’s the sounds he makes that keeps his dick hard as iron as he eats him out. He spears his tongue inside of him, then lavishes his tongue in wet circles around his sensitive bud before he starts over again, licking, fucking, stretching. When he feels Dean begin to tremble beneath him, he trails his lips up to his back and adds his third finger slowly, but Dean rocks back and forces them all the way in to the webbing of his fingers in one smooth thrust, moaning as he does it. It’s incredibly erotic to watch him like this.

“So perfect, Dean,” Castiel praises him. Every time they do this he’s blown away by how easily Dean opens for him, how he seems to let go of everything and just _takes_ his pleasure from him. Any time Dean’s in control he always makes it about Castiel - which is something he still has a hard time accepting sometimes - but when he’s the one pleasuring Dean, it’s like Dean’s body demands it and he’s powerless to stop himself.

Castiel loves it.

“You’re beautiful. So very beautiful, sweetheart,” Castiel says again.

“Cas, come on,” Dean asks him.

“Almost,” he promises. “You look so unbelievable right now fucking yourself on my fingers.”

“Mmmm I want you,” Dean moans.

Castiel can’t resist crooking his fingers and grazing his prostate for the first time after that.

“Yes!” Dean calls out. “More, Cas. Again.” When Castiel doesn’t comply immediately he says the magic word. “ _Please_.”

And there it is again: the thrill of desire that shoots through him like electricity whenever he hears Dean beg for him. His cock twitches with it and he has to take a deep breath and close his eyes to steady himself. He’s never gotten used to hearing Dean like this and selfishly hopes he never does. It makes him feel wanted in a way he never has before Dean.

“Fuck, Cas, _please_ ,” Dean says again.

Castiel hits his prostate again to stop him and rasps, “If you keep begging me like that you’re going to miss your chance.”

Dean rolls back into his fingers again and again, and Castiel watches the way the candle light dances over his smooth skin in awe. His eyes devour the sinful arch of his back, the swell of his ass, and the way his hole seems to suck his fingers back inside of him greedily with each roll of his hips. He thinks about how tight Dean’s going to be and has to fight back the urge to mount him here and now.

“ _Dean_ ,” he breathes reverently.

Just as he’s come to the conclusion that Dean’s probably as prepped as he would like to be - though he himself would prefer more, Dean has said on more than one occasion that he likes the burn of a good stretch - Dean tells him the same thing.

“Cas? I’m good, hon. I’m ready.”

Castiel withdraws his fingers and rolls him back over onto his back. His face is flushed, his hair is pasted to his forehead with sweat, and his lips are red from where he’s assuming he was biting down on them.

He can’t begin to resist leaning over him to capture his lips in another kiss. It’s been too long anyway. Dean’s mouth opens to him immediately, and Castiel loses himself in the way their lips and tongues move together perfectly and how satisfying it is to have Dean’s body pinned underneath him. He only breaks away again when he’s having a hard time catching his breath.

He backs away enough to look Dean in the eye.

“You’re not seriously gonna ask me if I’m sure, are you?” Dean says, eyebrows raised and his lips quirking into a cocky smile.

Castiel’s answering smile is soft and he leans down to peck him again quickly. “Of course not,” he lies. “But I will remind you that we can stop at absolutely point, and to please tell me if I cause you any pain.”

“I know you’d never hurt me,” Dean says earnestly.

“Never,” Castiel promises. “I’m going to make you feel so good.”

“Make me yours,” Dean adds quietly, causing his heart to swell dangerously in his chest.

He kisses him again, briefly but passionately, before he grabs for the regular lube and slicks himself up. Dean’s gaze is heated when they lock eyes, and he feels desire coil inside of him from the way Dean’s looking at him as much as the wet slide of his cock in his own hand.

“So fuckin’ hot, Cas. Never gonna get used to how damn much I want you,” Dean tells him.

“You could have anybody.”

“And all I’m ever gonna want is you.”

He says it with so much conviction that it’s impossible not to believe him. Belatedly, he realizes they never thought to put a towel down this time, and wipes his hand on the bedsheets with resignation. Too late for that now. He gets himself into place on his knees between Dean’s legs, and spreads his cheeks apart to position himself nice and snug against his hole.

He’s already wet and hot here, and it feels _so good_ on the sensitive head of his cock that he almost misses the way Dean tenses up.

“I love you, Dean,” he says softly.

He lies himself down on top of him, bracing himself on his elbows, and kisses Dean gently again and again until he feels him open his mouth and begin to relax. Dean’s arms are over his head, and Castiel laces their fingers together, hoping the additional connection soothes him as he starts to push inside.

He knew it was going to be a lot, that he would _feel_ a lot being inside of Dean for the first time, but he underestimated just how good it would be physically. It’s been almost a year since he’s been with anybody in this way, and he had forgotten about how perfectly slick the heat is. It’s so much better knowing this is with someone he loves for the first time, and all of his emotions combined with Dean so overwhelmingly hot and tight around him is almost more than he can withstand. He’s barely popped the head of his cock past the first ring of muscle before he has to stop to make sure he doesn’t come way too soon.

“Jesus Christ,” Dean says on a tight breath.

Castiel kisses him and tightens his grip on his fingers, trying to stay composed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just need a second.”

“‘s good,” Dean promises, swallowing thickly. “Knew you were big, but fuck.” He takes a shaky breath and says, “I think - I think I kinda love it.”

An additional thrill runs through him at that. “Fuck. You’re going to kill me,” he whispers. “You - you feel unbelievable, Dean.”

“Keep going then.”

Castiel bites down on his bottom lip and pushes forward again, past the second bit of resistance and slides home easily into what feels like absolute bliss. All of that warmth squeezing him tight and surrounding his cock in the best possible way is the most exquisite thing he’s ever felt and he can’t hold in a long, low, moan. Dean is unbelievably tight.

He belatedly realizes his eyes have slipped closed and opens them to see Dean’s head tilted back, his eyes squeezed tight, and his breaths coming out in ragged pants as if he can’t inhale enough air. He knows how overwhelming this can be the first time, and he glances down to make sure Dean’s erection hasn’t flagged. He sees his cock still hard and resting heavily on his stomach and he hums happily knowing this is good for Dean, too. He kisses along the expanse of his bared throat in an attempt to soothe him, but instead, he hears the way Dean fails to hold in a sob.

“Dean?” he asks, suddenly concerned.

“I’m - I’m okay,” Dean says on a hoarse whisper.

“Talk to me,” Castiel insists. He doesn’t _sound_ okay.

“Just didn’t know - I, uh -” Dean inhales and exhales shakily, but he squeezes Castiel’s fingers, trying to tell him he’s alright. “Knew you’d be big and I knew it’d feel good, but nobody warned me it’d feel like this. Intense emotionally, you know? Letting you inside of me.” Dean opens his eyes and he’s surprised to see them swimming with tears. “I - I feel like - fuck, I’ve never felt this close to anybody in my whole damn life.”

“Dean,” Castiel sighs, emotions swirling inside of him now too.

“So glad it’s you, Cas. I just - I love you so much.”

Castiel feels his heart fill so fast it knocks the breath out of him. There’s no words to tell him how much this means to him. He lowers his forehead to Dean’s and answers, “I love _you_.”

He can just see the way Dean’s lips curve into a soft smile smile before he says, “Let’s get to the good stuff, yeah?”

Castiel presses a kiss to his lips and rocks into him slowly, letting Dean get used to how it feels to have something moving inside of him. Dean’s jaw unhinges and he breathes, “Oh god. So full.”

“So - _oh_ \- feels so good, Dean,” Castiel tells him, burying his face along his neck to press dozens of kisses into his skin, trying to keep himself together while he feels Dean’s muscles begin to loosen for him.

Dean wiggles his hands free of his and brings them up to his shoulders instead. Dean’s hands on his body again is grounding, and when Dean pulls him in to start moving, he follows his lead. He pulls out just a little bit so he can push back inside slowly, but even that is enough to elicit a moan from both of them.

“More, Cas. Come on. I’m not gonna break,” Dean says, his voice still coming out breathy.

Every instinct he has is screaming at him to bury himself in the feeling of Dean wrapped around him, and with Dean asking for it, he doesn’t have the willpower to hold back anymore. He pulls out half way and thrusts back inside of him, reveling in the sounds of pleasure Dean starts making. Because he’s so thick, he knows he doesn’t have to worry about trying to hit his prostate - he’s going to be stimulating it the whole time no matter what. That may have something to do with how his beautiful, amazing man is moaning and taking his cock just as well as he takes his fingers. Opening for him and moving with him like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

He slides his hands down Dean’s body and to the back of his legs, urging him to wrap them around him. When Dean does, and he feels his heels digging into his lower back, he hears a sharp gasp pulled from Dean’s lips as he plunges deeper inside of him.

“ _Ah!_ Yes, god,” Dean groans.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he curses. “If you knew how many times I’ve fantasized about how your bow legs would feel wrapped around me just like this, Dean.”

“Me too,” Dean gasps. “All the time. Wanted you to fuck me so for so long.”

He pistons his hips faster after that, picking up the pace and giving Dean exactly what he’s been wanting. They’re both panting now, and he can feel Dean’s hands struggling for purchase on his damp skin, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

“Love you. Love you so much,” Dean sighs. “Feels so fucking good.”

“You’re amazing. Doing so well. Never felt anything so good.”

Their lips come together and they kiss languidly while their bodies rock, neither of them searching for release but feeling it begin to build between them anyway.  

“Come - come inside of me, okay?” Dean says suddenly. Castiel inhales sharply as desire races through him. All he can do is nod while he sinks his teeth into the curve of Dean’s shoulder, needing to calm the possessive beast raging inside of him somehow that isn’t going to injure Dean. “Yeah,” Dean says happily, fisting his hands in Castiel’s hair. “Mark me, up. Make me yours, Cas.”

Castiel whimpers as he sucks on Dean’s skin, willing to give this man anything and everything he asks him to. Once he thinks he’s made a mark that will stay, he pulls away to look at his work and says, “All mine.”

“Yeah,” Dean pants, nodding. “Only you. Only ever yours.”

“Forever,” Castiel says, the word slipping out for the first time amid his blinding pleasure as he continues to thrust inside of him.

Dean whines and his hand lifts to wrap around the back of his neck. His voice is deep and his expression is serious when he says, “Tell me again.”

“Forever,” he repeats, purposely this time now that he knows Dean wants him to. “I want this - want you - forever, Dean.”

Dean pulls him down and crushes their lips together desperately, his hips coming up now to meet him halfway through each thrust.

“Wanted to hear you say that for so damn long,” Dean whispers against his lips.

“Forever,” Castiel says again, sealing it with another kiss. “Need you forever.” He kisses him again, feeling Dean surging up to meet his lips this time. “Want you forever.” Dean’s lips turn up into a smile as they kiss this time, and still, he keeps kissing him and meeting him thrust for thrust. “Feel like this forever,” he promises, kissing him yet again, longer this time, licking into his mouth as their bodies undulate together. Finally, he pulls his lips away to make eye contact and says the words he never thought he’d say to anybody ever again.

They’re for Dean, now. For the only person he knows he’ll ever say them to again.

“I will love you forever,” he promises.

Dean’s hands cup his face and his voice comes out so soft it’s almost a whisper when he says, “Promise?”

He can see the doubt and the fear in his eyes and he wonders how it’s possible that he doesn’t already know this? He told him that day in the hospital. He thought he’d made himself clear countless times since then, but if he didn’t, he needs to now.

“I promise. I’ll love only you for the rest of my life, Dean. I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

Dean’s eyes close and his bottom lip trembles, and he’s not at all surprised to see his eyes shining with tears when he opens them again. “Me too, Cas. Only ever been you.”

When their lips come together again it feels like a promise, and he’s never been happier to seal anything with a kiss. He is Dean’s and Dean is his, and he knows with everything he is that’s never going to change.

With that thought running through his brain, he thrusts inside of the man he loves, deep and hard again and again, feeling himself getting close to the edge now. Wanting to make sure Dean is right there with him, he braces himself on one elbow to take Dean’s straining cock into his hand.

“Oh fuck,” Dean gasps. “Not gonna last like this.”

“Good,” Castiel replies, his voice coming out deep and husky. “Want to see you come with me inside of you.”

“Gonna come on your cock, Cas,” Dean promises.

Castiel bites down on his bottom lip, angling his hips slightly differently to really nail his prostate with his next thrust, making sure to pump his fist in time with his hips. Dean’s hands slide down to his ass, pulling him in deeper and deeper, his nails digging into his asscheeks as Dean starts making the most satisfying little _uh, uh, uh_ sounds as he pounds into him again and again.

“C-close. So fucking close,” Dean warns him.

“Oh, god, me too. I’m gonna come inside of you, Dean.”

“Ah, _please_ , Cas. Wanna feel you - feel you fi - fuuuck.”

Castiel’s pleasure spikes and his hips stutter when he hears what Dean didn’t quite say. “I’ll fill you up,” he finishes for him on a gasp.

Dean chokes out a, “ _Please_ ,” as his ass clenches around him, and that’s all he can take.

His body locks up tight as he feels himself pulled violently into his orgasm along with Dean, watching as his boyfriend spills over his stomach and chest at the same time he explodes deep inside of him.

“Oh - oh I feel - god! _Fuck_ that’s so hot Cas, ohhhh,” Dean gasps, clenching around him so hard - so fucking perfectly - he feels the air punched out of him almost painfully.

Castiel can’t even think. He stuffs his pulsing cock as deep inside of Dean as he can, letting Dean’s throbbing walls milk him through his release as he fights against the blackness that’s trying to pull him under. He inhales a shaky breath and his head clears enough to register the way Dean’s completely wrapped around him with his arms and legs with his face buried into the curve of Castiel’s shoulder as his shoulders hitch with each breath.

“Dean?” he gasps. The one arm holding him up is shaking violently and he lowers himself down as carefully as he can, taking Dean with him as he collapses on top of him. Still, Dean’s legs don’t unwind from around his waist and he clings even harder - just a little too tight for comfort. “Are you alright?”

Dean makes a sound of ascent, but doesn’t let go. He indulges him for several minutes while they both try to even their breathing and come down from their orgasms. He can feel his cock softening, feel his cum starting to leak out between them, but all the while Dean doesn’t loosen his hold on him.

“Sweetheart?” he tries again. “Squeezing a little tight.” Nothing. “Dean?”

“Don’t wanna let go,” he finally answers. “When I let you go, you’re gonna move, and then this is over - and I don’t want it to be over ‘cause nothin’s ever gonna be this good again.”

He can feel a smile come to his lips as his heart melts inside of him. It shouldn’t even be possible to love somebody this much. “Oh Dean,” he sighs, nuzzling into his neck. “That was only your first time. It’s going to get so much better.”

“Not possible,” Dean disagrees.

“Hmmm,” Castiel says. “Think about how good it’ll feel to ride me, though. How you’ll be able to move however you want to make it feel good for you. How amazingly gorgeous you’re going to look impaled on my cock.” Dean starts to relax after that, so he keeps going. “Think about me taking you on your hands and your knees, where I can pound into you so hard you have to hold onto the headboard to stay up. Think about me bending you over the back of the couch for a quick and dirty fuck on a Sunday afternoon.”

“Tomorrow’s Sunday,” Dean offers, and Castiel chuckles. Now that Dean’s relaxed enough, he pulls out of him carefully and then tugs him sideways until he’s pillowed on his chest. Castiel kisses his head and runs his hand up and down his back, wondering idly about the last time he’s felt this relaxed. He doesn’t have to worry about listening for Claire or about cleaning up right away in case she needs them. For once, he could lie here in the bed he shares with Dean, completely naked and covered in cum all night long if he wanted to. Dean keeps shifting and fidgeting beside him though, so clearly he’s not feeling the same.

“Stop wiggling so much,” he complains as he pokes Dean. “You’re ruining my post-orgasm high.”

“Yeah, well you’re not the one with cum slowly seeping out of his ass.”

“For once,” Castiel points out.

“Shit. Obviously I was into it in the moment, you know, but this is gross. How do you not run to clean up right away every time?”

“I’m usually stuck under a very sleepy, six foot two man,” he replies.

“Shoulda said something,” Dean grumbles.

“You get used to it.”

“So uh, how’d I do?” Dean asks.

“Hm?”

“You know. Was I a good birthday present? Did my virgin ass live up to its expectations?” Dean clarifies.

“I will admit I thought I would never feel anything as good as those lips of yours sucking my dick, but I was very, very wrong. If I didn’t stop at the beginning I would have come in the first minute far too easily.”

“That good, huh?” Dean checks.

“There aren’t even words. And the way you listened to your body and moved with me, Dean.” He sighs happily. “You’re a natural, sweetheart.”

“It was good sex for you too, then?” Dean checks. “Not just ‘cause my ass is tight and your dick’s big.”

Castiel chuckles again. “You’re always so good for my ego, Dean. And _good sex_ is an understatement. I agree with what you said earlier - it was perfect. Thank you for sharing yourself with me like that,” he says, pressing another kiss to his head and gathering him closer.

“You, uh, still prefer topping?” Dean asks.

“Sex with you is always good. Better than good. I’m happy either way.”

“I know it’s probably ‘cause it’s new and everything, but I was really into that.”

Castiel smiles. “I could tell. I’m more than happy to make love to you whenever you want me to.”

“Morning sex?” Dean asks hopefully.

His smile grows. Dean’s nothing if not consistent. “If you’re not too sore.”

“I’m definitely feeling it - your cock is fucking huge by the way - but I’m not turning down morning sex for anything.”

“We’ll see how you feel in the morning,” he replies. “I suppose there’s no sense showering now if we’re just going to get dirty again when we wake up.”

“Nah. I’m gonna go, you know, take care of business and clean up a bit, and I’ll bring you back a cloth in a few,” Dean says, unwinding from his arms and pausing to kiss him quickly before rolling off of the bed. Castiel watches to see his reaction when he gets to his feet, but Dean either knows to hide the pain or doesn’t feel any, and he walks around the bed to the bathroom with a quick smile aimed at him over his shoulder.

He feels his breath catch when he sees the backs of his thighs sticky with a mixture of lube and his cum and hears Dean’s chuckle as he walks out of the room, probably knowing exactly how good of a picture he makes.

He puts his hands under his head and lays in bed waiting for Dean to come back, thinking to himself with a grin that maybe he’ll ask for an _actual picture_ of exactly that for his birthday next year.


	5. Chapter 5

The first time it gets brought up, it’s evening on the first day of October, and he and Dean are sitting side by side on the couch after putting Claire to bed.

“Hey, Cas?”

His lips quirk at the familiar prompt Dean uses so frequently when he wants to ask him something.

“Yes?”

“Have you thought about Claire’s birthday party at all?”

“Birthday party?” he echoes. “She’s two. She doesn’t even have friends.”

Dean’s pops his head up from where it was resting on his shoulder and frowns at him. “She does too have friends!”

Now it’s his turn to frown at Dean. “I was under the impression that she still primarily plays with Bentley or by herself when she’s at daycare?”

“Well - she does. But the other kids still like her! They’d come to a party for her if we threw one,” Dean insists. He’s looking at him with pleading eyes and Castiel reaches up to touch his face, brushing his thumb across that plump bottom lip that still tempts him every minute of every day - and more so when he looks sad like he does right now. He’s so incredibly cute.

“Dean, she’s two, sweetheart. She doesn’t know other children are supposed to be at a party. She doesn’t even know what a birthday party _is_. We can buy her a gift, make her a cake, get her a party dress, and have your family spend the evening with us and she’ll think it’s the best day ever.”

Dean sighs, resigned. “But we gotta do it the weekend before though, right? So we can go trick-or-treating on her actual birthday?”

“Hm,” he says, thinking aloud. “We didn’t do trick-or-treating last year since she was only one. I didn’t really think about Halloween this year, but she would undoubtedly enjoy collecting candy.”

“You know she’s gotta be a Care Bear, right?” Dean says, his eyes lit up with laughter. “I already found a costume for her online, look.” Dean pulls out his phone and shows him a website with an adorable Care Bear costume - Cheer Bear, according to the header. “How freaking cute would she be in this?”

Dean’s enthusiasm is rapidly catching on, and he can’t help the smile that comes to his face when he thinks about his little Claire Bear in a Care Bear costume carrying around one of those little pumpkin baskets for candy saying, “Trick or treat,” at each house...

And that’s when his stomach sinks.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Dean says, obviously picking up on the change of his mood. He shakes his head, needing a second or two to be able to voice his concerns. Dean pulls him into his arms and he goes willingly, taking the comfort Dean’s offering even though he doesn’t know why he’s offering it. “Whatever it is, we can work it out, okay? We don’t have to do the Care Bear costume or whatever. Like you said, she doesn’t even know what Halloween is. She doesn’t know about trick-or-treating or -” Dean’s voice trails off and the hand that was running along his arm freezes, and that’s when he knows Dean caught on, too. “Well, shit.”

“Yeah,” Castiel answers thickly.  

There’s a heavy silence for a few minutes before Dean pipes up again. “There’s gotta be a way around this, though. She can’t be the only kid in the world who can’t talk, right? What if we taught her the signs?”

“How will everybody else know what the signs mean though?” he asks.

Another second of silence. “A little kid comes to the door holding a bag for candy waving her hands around on Halloween, I figure people’re gonna figure it out pretty fast.”

He nods, knowing that’s true. But that’s not really what it’s about. He tends to keep these things to himself, not wanting to burden Dean with his problems, but he knows Dean loves Claire as much as he does. Dean was so helpful and supportive at Claire’s assessment that maybe… maybe sharing the burden will be better than carrying it all by himself.

“It’s... it’s not really about if people will know what she means. It’s just that I love her so much, and any time something like this comes up it kills me to think about how much harder her life is just because she can’t talk like other kids.” He pauses, and because Dean doesn’t say anything right away to make him feel like he’s ungrateful or complaining about his life, he thinks it might be okay to let a little bit more out. “I want her to be _normal_ and have a life without any additional obstacles if I can help it. I want her to be able to go out trick-or-treating like every other two year old without us having to sit here trying to brainstorm about the best way to do this.”

Dean’s lips press into his hair as he pulls him in even closer. When Castiel brings his legs up beside him on the couch and tucks himself in nice and snug against his boyfriend, he realizes he feels safe and like it might be okay to say this thing - this _one thing_ that’s been screaming at him inside his head since the day Claire flunked her very first speech assessment - out loud for the first time. “It’s - it’s just not fair,” he whispers, his throat tight.

Then for the first time in front of Dean, he doesn’t fight the tears that gather, and he lets them fall while he thinks about this injustice to the little girl he loves so much.

“I know, honey, I know it’s not,” Dean comforts him.

“It’s not fair!” Castiel says again, with more conviction this time. Saying it out loud isn’t enough, though. He feels like he could scream it from the rooftops and it _still_ wouldn’t be enough to express just how angry he is when he thinks about why this had to happen to _his_ daughter. Anger does absolutely nothing to stop the flow of tears, and his shoulders shake as he tries to hold it in. He can feel Dean nodding and soothing him the best he can with his touch, and while he knows logically there isn’t anything Dean can say to make this better, it doesn’t stop him from wishing there was.

“It’s okay, hon, I got you,” Dean tells him. “Just let it out.”

He has little choice to do anything else. Knowing Dean isn’t going anywhere, that he’s just going to sit here and hold him while he lets out all of the poisonous thoughts he’s had over the last year _does_ make him feel better, and he wonders why he ever thought it would be better to keep this from him.

“Sometimes...” he pauses to sniffle. “Sometimes I think about those other children at Claire’s daycare. Some of them are younger than her and still, I would hear them shout, “There’s Claire’s dad!” whenever I went to pick her up and… a really ugly part of me _hates_ those children for being able to say that. They don’t have the same challenges as she does, and it’s not fair that _she_ has to live her life with this disadvantage when they don’t.” Dean kisses the side of his head again and squeezes him tighter, so he swallows down the lump in his throat and the shame he feels for admitting to these thoughts and keeps talking. “I think about all the other parents who _don’t even know_ how lucky they are that their children get to go trick-or-treating without having to think about this and I’m so painfully jealous that I hate them sometimes, too,” he whispers.

He takes a deep, shuddering breath in and out and tries to be more logical about this. “I know a speech delay is far from the worst thing that Claire could struggle with and some parents would probably give everything they have to trade their children’s problems with mine, but it still doesn’t take away from how desperate I am to know how it feels to hear Claire tell us _I love you_ , or when she doesn’t feel well, or god, even what she had for lunch...”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Dean says, stopping him. “I know, okay? I know how much it sucks. I spend part of my day five days a week in a room full of kids who can all say a hell of a lot more than she does. I see other parents come pick up their kids and see them roll their eyes when their kids launch into these long-winded stories and... honestly, a part of me kinda wants to choke them when I can tell they’re not even really listening, because they have no damn clue what I would give to hear Claire ramble on for five minutes about a rock she found in the yard, you know?” Castiel is heartbroken when he realizes Dean’s getting choked up, and he wraps his arm around his waist to try to comfort him, too. “I uh, sorta thought I was all kinds of messed up for thinkin’ that kind of thing, and I hope it doesn’t make me sound like a dick to say this, but I feel better knowing it isn’t just me who sometimes secretly hates the parents of the kids who can talk normally.”

Castiel huffs out a watery laugh. “I’m still not entirely sure it’s a healthy way to think, but we can be messed up together,” he promises. “I’m sorry I never talked about this before, especially knowing now that you’ve experienced a lot of these same feelings and never brought it up because I haven’t.” He thinks back to the last speech assessment and how Dean had to ask Caroline if there was a reason Claire couldn’t talk because he must have felt like he couldn’t ask him. “I’m so sorry, Dean. I should have let you know it was okay to talk about this, but I’m so used to dealing with it on my own and not having anybody to talk to about it that I suppose I just kept operating that way even though I don’t need to anymore. Plus... I don’t want it to seem like... like I love her any less because she’s the way that she is,” he explains.

“Please,” Dean scoffs. “I would never think that. I know you love her more than anything. I’ve literally never doubted that for a single second and there’s nothing you could ever say that would make think that.” Castiel nods his head, feeling a wave of relief wash over him just hearing Dean reassure him. “I know this speech delay stuff gets hard sometimes. And I know it’s got to be harder on you ‘cause you’ve been working on it for so long, but you’ve gotta see how much she’s improving, right? She’s saying new words almost every week, and sure, it’s not always exactly the right way to say it, but it counts. And it’s not always gonna be like this, right? This time next year she’s gonna be saying trick-or-treat just like every other damn kid.”

“Maybe,” Castiel relents.

“She will,” Dean insists. “Think of the big picture. One Halloween outta the ninety she’s gonna have isn’t so bad when you put it that way, right? It’s really just one night.”

“That’s true,” he agrees. It _is_ just one night.

“If you want, we could get her a costume and just bring her around to the people we know. Between Sam and Jess, Mom, Jo, Ellen, Charlie, Benny, Kevin, Chuck… Hell, we could hit up Charity, Garth, Gabe, the library, and swing by the diner to see the ladies there who fawn over her every week if we wanted to. She’d still get more candy than you’re ever gonna let her eat, and we wouldn’t have to worry about her being able to say trick-or-treat at all.”

He feels warmth run through him at the idea. Claire’s so small she likely wouldn’t last much longer than walking to those few houses anyway, and bringing her to see the people who already love and accept her exactly the way she is would certainly take the pressure off. He turns his face up to look at Dean. “That’s a great idea,” he says with a smile.

“Yeah?” Dean asks.

He nods as his smile grows. “It’s the perfect solution. Claire will love that, and it’s a great introduction to her first real Halloween experience.”

Dean grins back at him. “Awesome.”

He sits up so that he can kiss him softly, closing his eyes and letting the gentle press of their lips and the love he feels between them settle his rattled nerves until he feels steady again.

“Thank you,” he tells Dean quietly.

“Hey, any time you wanna make out ‘til you feel better you just let me know and I’m here for you,” Dean teases.

“Don’t do that,” Castiel tells him. “You were here for me exactly how I needed you to be and talked me through my little meltdown until I felt better. You didn’t belittle my feelings or tell me that it’s silly to feel the way I do, you just listened until I was done, and then helped to come up with a solution. Don’t just brush off how good you are to me with a joke.”

Dean looks terribly uncomfortable at the praise, but he nods curtly and says, “Yeah, okay.” He clears his throat awkwardly and gives a small eye roll before he adds, “You’re welcome.”

Castiel kisses him again and snuggles back in, feeling like he and Dean could take on the world together and win.

 

* * *

 

Claire’s first swimming lesson is the first weekend in October. The three of them go together, but while Dean throws on his swimming trunks and goes into the pool with Claire, Castiel watches through the glass from the lobby. He knows how much Dean wants this to be something he shares with Claire, and he’s happy to give that to him and watch from the sidelines.

Of course he knows he’s biased, but he still thinks Claire is easily the cutest kid out there. Dean picked out her completely ridiculous bathing suit, which is a one-piece, light blue suit with white polka dots and fuchsia accents on the straps and around the leg holes. It also has a tiny fuchsia tutu attached, which is what tips it over the adorable line into _ridiculous_ territory in his opinion.

Then there’s Dean, seemingly completely unaware that none of the mothers in the pool are able to keep their eyes off of him for more than a few minutes at a time. Dean might not notice it, but he can see plenty of the women exchanging impressed looks behind Dean’s back. Not that he can blame them. He has plenty of experience being captivated with tiny rivulets of water running over his sculpted shoulders and firm chest from sharing showers, and he imagines it’s a similar sight in the swimming pool.

He watches some of the women begin to approach him one by one and start conversations with him, and every single time, it’s barely a minute before Dean points to him through the glass and gives him a little wave. The third time, Dean rolls his eyes when the woman turns her head to look at Castiel, and that’s when he gets it. These women are either asking him where Claire’s mom is or if he’s single, and Dean’s showing them who he’s with each time.

“They’re like vultures, aren’t they?” he hears from beside him.

He turns to see a brunette woman with glasses smiling knowingly at him.

“I’m sorry?” he asks, not entirely sure if she means what he thinks she means.

She nods towards the pool. “The women. My husband is the only other man in the pool, and while he doesn’t look anything like who I can only assume is _your_ husband - which, congratulations by the way, because _wow_ \- it’s the same thing anytime they see a man who bothers to pay attention to his children. They automatically pop lady boners.”

He snorts out a surprised laugh and fights back his blush at such crude language coming from a total stranger. If it wasn’t for his friendship with Charlie, he’d never know how to respond in this kind of situation.

“I can’t exactly blame them. I took one look at him with my daughter and reacted pretty much the same way,” he jokes.

She laughs and nods her head in understanding. He feels relief run through him that he was able to say the right thing for once. She tucks her hair behind her ear and says, “I’m Steph, by the way. Figure if we’re going to be sharing Saturday morning swimming lessons I might as well introduce myself.”

“I’m Castiel,” he replies with a smile. Small talk like this always makes him somewhat nervous, but she seems to be talkative enough for the both of them.

“First time, right?”

“What’s that?”

“At swimming lessons,” she explains.

“Oh, yes. This is Claire’s first lesson. Why? How could you tell?”

“Not a big town. If there were two hot gay dads doing swimming lessons, I feel like I would’ve heard about it through the EMB Facebook group,” she says.

And this is exactly why he doesn’t like talking to people he doesn’t know. For the third time in what feels like less than three minutes, he has no idea what this woman is talking about. “Is that some kind of gay friendly group or something?” he asks.

“You’ve _never_ heard of EMB? It’s Everything Mom and Baby.” He arches his eyebrows at her. “Okay, that actually makes some sense now that I think about it,” she says with a small giggle. “Wrong anatomy. I’m assuming. Annnnyway, it’s the most popular buy/sell group there is around here. I get all of Chandler’s clothes from there.” He can feel his lips quirk without his permission when she continues, “And yes, I named him after Chandler Bing.”

“Great name,” he remarks.

“You a _Friends_ fan?”

“A new one. Dean and I are still making our way through the seasons. We’re on season five right now, I believe.”

And that’s how it goes for the next twenty minutes. The woman talks his ear off the entire time, and while she’s friendly, he was enjoying himself more when he had the opportunity to just watch Claire and Dean in peace. He definitely knows he won’t be coming every week now. Trying to maintain small talk for this long on a weekly basis would be exhausting.

When the whistle blows signalling the end of the lesson, he walks into the family change room to get Claire’s clothes and a fresh diaper ready for her to change into.

He hears them before he sees them, Claire’s high-pitched little voice echoing through the room.

“Dee! Da! Dee! Da! Dee!”

“Yeah, buddy, Da’s probably right around the corner,” Dean replies.

“Da! Dee! Uh!”

Not surprisingly, when Dean comes into view he has Claire on his hip, bundled up in her hooded towel with his own towel wrapped around both of them. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and catches both of their smiles on camera when they see him - and the eye roll he got from Dean for taking their picture, too. He’s definitely keeping that one.

“First swimming lesson. It’s for the baby book,” he explains.

“Da!” Claire says, then launches into a long string of excited babble that he understands absolutely nothing of other than a Da and a Dee a time or two.

“Did you have fun swimming, Claire Bear?” he asks her, pulling her into his arms and setting her down on the ground to dry her with her towel.

“Didn’t shut up about you the whole time. She must’ve said _da_ just as many times as she said my name. I dunno why she keeps doing that now,” he says. “She was like a fish in there, though, huh?” Dean asks, scrubbing his hair with a towel.

“I saw. She seemed like she had a lot of fun. I’m surprised there were no tears on the way out,” he comments.

“Don’t jinx it.”

He works Claire’s bathing suit down her body and tosses it into the corner. “I noticed you were quite the popular attraction as well,” he teases him, patting down Claire’s little body with the towel.

“Seriously!” Dean exclaims. Then he lowers his voice and adds in a hoarse whisper, “I felt like a piece of meat in there.”

He smiles at how scandalized he sounds and says, “I’d offer to come with you every week to help keep them at bay, but unfortunately there was a very chatty cathy in the lobby who didn’t stop talking for the entire duration of the lesson.”

“And you’re just gonna throw me to the sharks over some overly talkative chick?”

He’s grinning when he says, “Maybe we’ll have to get you one of those rash guard shirts so they don’t have as much muscle to ogle.”

Dean scoffs. “You’d think the beer belly would be enough to turn them off.”

“You _do not_ have a beer belly,” he says for what feels like the millionth time. He pulls off Claire’s swim diaper, tosses it in the corner with her suit, lays her towel out on the ground and lowers her down onto it so he can put her regular diaper on.

Dean takes advantage of Claire only being able to look one way to drop his own swim shorts. He steps into his boxers quickly and then pokes at his soft middle only once he’s covered up. “Hello? You know I can see this, right? You can’t even try to tell me it’s not there.”

Castiel shakes his head in fond exasperation as he pulls Claire to her feet. “So your stomach isn’t rock hard like the rest of your god-like body. That doesn’t translate to a beer belly _and_ obviously the sharks in the pool prove I’m not the only one who finds you incredibly attractive exactly the way you are.”

He curses himself internally for thinking leggings were a good idea for Claire while he wrestles them up her still damp legs while trying to keep her upright at the same time.

“Yeah, you love me, though. You have to say shit like that now,” Dean says, and Castiel glances up to see his expression to make sure he’s only teasing - which he is.

“Guess you better get used to hearing it, then.” He pushes Claire’s arms through her shirt and sighs with relief now that she’s fully dressed. He’ll make sure to pack a dress for Dean to change her into next week. That was exhausting.

“Seriously though, a shirt’s not a bad idea. Forgot about the hickeys until the only other dude in the pool pointed them out with a manly slap on the back. Felt like I was in a locker room or somethin’. If I wasn’t holding Claire I probably woulda drowned myself.”

Castiel can’t hold in the laughter that spills out of him. “I’m not even sorry,” he finally responds. “And if what Steph said about gossip online in this city is true I’ll have to leave new ones every week now or else the women will start surmising that our sex life is dwindling, then you’ll really be in trouble.”

He lifts Claire into his lap and slides the little green dinosaur shoes Dean bought her onto her feet. She reaches for the spike on each shoe happily and says, “Deeno!” as he hears Dean snort over his comment about their sex life.

“Like that’s ever gonna happen.”

Castiel smiles in agreement and answers Claire, “Yes. Dino shoes!”

“Speaking of gossip though… don’t freak out or anything, but the instructor kinda introduced me to everybody as Claire’s dad, and I - well, I didn’t correct him.”

Castiel feels a burst of warmth and a tiny trickle of fear explode inside of him at the same time. Just knowing that people would look at Dean and Claire together and assume they’re father and daughter makes him incredibly happy. Knowing that Dean was confident enough in himself not to correct the instructor this time (because it’s not like this is the first time something like this has happened) also makes him light up inside. But still… there’s that inkling of fear, which admittedly is disappearing a little bit more with each second that passes, but it’s still there. He’s still scared he’s moving too fast, giving too much to somebody who could still walk away from both him and Claire if he decided to. He knows Dean’s waiting for him to say something to reassure him but with all of these thoughts rushing through his brain all at once he’s not exactly sure how to respond right this second.

“Are you mad?” Dean asks quietly.

Castiel stands up, picking Claire up with him when she starts whining, and walks over to Dean to place his hand on his lower back. “No, I’m not mad. Just give me a few minutes to process it, okay? I wasn’t expecting you to say that right now.”

He can see the way Dean works to swallow down his disappointment and it brings out that side of him that wants nothing more than to protect the man he loves. Dean bends over to throw Claire’s suit and towel into the duffel bag - maybe with a little bit more force than entirely necessary - and Castiel makes sure to reach out to take his hand as soon as they’re in the hallway and walking out to the car. They’re not even half-way there when he can tell Claire’s fallen asleep on his shoulder.

He gets her into her seat carefully and then gets himself into his own. As they leave the parking lot, he notices that Dean’s gripping the steering wheel too tight, his left knee is jiggling, and he’s entirely too focused on the road (even for him). The silence between them is heavy, and even though he doesn’t have his thoughts completely in order, he knows he _has_ to break it. But just as he comes to that decision, Dean beats him to it.

“I’m sorry, Cas. I shoulda said something when that dude called me her dad. It just felt - well, it felt damn good to hear - but I get it if it bugs you. I’ll tell him the next time. I’ll - I’ll make sure to correct him in front of all the gossipy women or whatever so people know I’m not - I’m not really her dad.”

His heart breaks just hearing him say that. “I thought you were going to give me a few minutes to process how I was feeling?”

“I did! Or tried to anyway. But you just kept sittin’ there looking like a deer in headlights and you weren’t saying anything and -”

“Dean,” Castiel interrupts him, softly but firmly. “May I tell you how I felt when I first heard what you said or do you want to keep thinking worst-case-scenario in that beautiful brain of yours?” Dean basically broadcasts his thoughts with his body language and expression, and he knows that’s exactly what he was doing.

“Didn’t get all the way to the worst-case yet,” Dean argues petulantly.

“But I can still promise you that whatever you’re worrying about is not what I was thinking,” he says gently. “Just try to come down from panic-mode for me, okay? I love you. I’m not going anywhere.” Dean inhales shakily and nods his head. “When you first said that somebody called you Claire’s dad my initial reaction was about seventy-five percent pure happiness, and twenty-five percent fear.”

“ _Fear?_ Cas - that’s - I don’t want you to feel like that when it comes to this,” Dean responds, and he doesn’t sound any less heartbroken than he did a minute ago. Castiel thought 75/25 was fairly positive, but Dean must not think so.

“ _But_ the more I thought about it, the more I realized that was just a knee-jerk reaction. Once I had a minute to let it sink in, I really think it’s more like 90/10.”

Dean inhales again and lets it out through his nose slowly. “Talk to me about the ten percent. I wanna understand and I don’t. I thought - I thought we were fucking solid, man.”

Castiel reaches out to place a hand on his knee. “We are. _We are_ ,” he repeats a second time, putting as much emphasis as he possibly can. “But humor me for a second. You believe me when I tell you I love you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And when I tell you that I’ll love you forever - you believe that too?”

“Yeah,” Dean answers a second time.

“I’m very glad to hear that,” he can’t resist saying. “But is there any part of you - a tiny, minuscule part of you that might still think that maybe I won’t?” Dean barely glances at him out of the corner of his eye and Castiel can still tell he looks slightly sheepish. “I’m not upset. I wouldn’t have believed you if you’d said otherwise,” he admits. “That’s all that ten percent fear is for me. I believe with all of my heart that you love Claire like she’s your own, and that you and I are all she’s ever going to go know as parents for as long as she lives. But that little ten percent is like a gnat in my brain, constantly buzzing at me with _what if, what if, what if?_ ”

“What if _what_?”

“What if it’s still too fast? What if this is still too new? What if you _don’t_ love me forever? What if I listen to my heart and take the leap to one hundred percent excited and say, _Yes! Let’s start calling you dad, too_. And then - then something changes and I have to - I have to break Claire’s heart and ask her to _stop_ calling you dad someday? It’s only ten percent, Dean, but when it comes to the possibility of hurting Claire, that ten percent is enormous.”

There’s a long pause while Dean pulls into the parking lot and parks the car with stiff shoulders and jerky movements. Dean unbuckles his seat belt, and when he turns towards him he can see the anger flashing in his eyes. “I’m gonna ignore that I’m not really fucking pissed and really fucking hurt that you ever even thought that let alone said it to me for a second, and instead I’m just gonna ask _you_ to humor _me_ : are _you_ ever going to ask Claire to stop calling you dad?”

“I could never,” he answers instantly, horrified at the thought.

“So why can’t you believe that for me, too, huh? Why can’t I love her unconditionally, too? Because she’s not biologically mine? Is that it? Because if you’re gonna think like that for our whole damn lives then that’s gonna be a huge fucking problem for me.”

“No!” he blurts out immediately, surprised by the anger behind Dean’s words. “No, Dean. That isn’t it at all. Please, you have to know that.” He reaches out to cover his hand and breathes a sigh of relief when Dean doesn’t pull away. “Being a biological parent has absolutely nothing to do with loving a child unconditionally. Believe me, I have experience in that area that I wish I didn’t. My parents - they both turned their back on me easily enough. As far as I know, they don’t care if I’m - if I’m alive or dead - and we’re blood,” Castiel replies, absolutely hating the way his eyes have welled up without his permission. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, clearing his throat. “This isn’t about them.”

“Fuck, I’m an idiot,” Dean breathes, sliding across the bench seat to pull him into his arms. Dean was so mad only a minute ago, but now he’s gripping him so tight and letting him hide his face in the curve of his neck, and the familiar scent of chlorine on his skin is so comforting he just melts into him. “Your parents bailed on you. Ketch bailed you both. It’s no fucking wonder you’ve got that little bit of doubt inside of you still. I’m so sorry, honey. I wasn’t thinking. I just got so excited and then I took it personally when you weren’t.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t think how they’ve acted has anything to do with you.” He pulls away to wipe at his face and look at Dean to make sure he can hear what he has to say. “I know you have more heart in your little toe than all three of them have combined, and you are _not_ them. Please believe that I know that.”

Dean’s hands are on his face and he leans into his touch, desperate for whatever Dean will give him. “I know. I know you think that, hon. I do.”

“I - I want you to be her dad so badly, Dean. I’m sorry I’m not one hundred percent yet, but that ninety percent… My heart filled so fast hearing you say that people look at the two of you and think you’re father and daughter. It’s everything I want.”

“I want it, too. I want you to be my family,” Dean says quietly.

“We are. We’re family. I feel like that. I’ve felt it for a long time,” he confesses.

“Me, too,” Dean answers, leaning in to kiss him quickly. It’s a comfort more than anything, but he clings to it anyway. When they break apart, Dean asks, “Do you, uh, do you think that ten percent’s ever gonna go away?”

 _No_ is the first thought that rings through his head, but he waits a split second to think of how he could respond better when he sees the way Dean’s looking at him. He doesn’t want to lie to him though. He deserves to know exactly what he’s getting into.

“What if I don’t?” he whispers, petrified that this is how he loses Dean.

Dean leans forward until their foreheads are touching. “Then I guess I’ll start working on the impossible.”

His eyes slip closed as his heart clenches in his chest. “If anybody could erase it entirely it would be you.”

“I’m not gonna stop until I get there. I know nobody’s ever shown you unconditional love before, but I will. I can be the first, I swear,” Dean promises, and then Castiel’s eyes are filling all over again. “For now though, what, uh, what do you want me to do about the class?”

His mind starts whirling. Can he give him this? One more step towards everything he wants that he’s terrified to take just for fear of losing it? Will _not_ giving this to Dean put a distance between them that he doesn’t want? Will it hurt him? Dean hasn’t done anything to deserve that.

“I think I’m okay with it if you don’t correct the instructor’s assumption. But I don’t - I can’t ask Claire to start calling you dad yet. I’m sorry, Dean. _But_ ,” he continues, “there’s a difference between not being able to say it yet and denying it’s true.” He waits for Dean to meet his eyes straight on before he says, “Telling anybody you’re not a dad to Claire would be an insult to you both. You are. I feel that, she feels that, and I know you feel it. Please don’t let me being hung up on saying the words take away from the relationship you’ve built with her. None of this is a reflection on you - it’s me.”

Dean scoffs, but he can tell by his expression that it’s meant to be in a teasing way. “It’s not you, it’s me? Really?”

He feels his lips turn up into a small smile. “If the cliche fits,” he says with a shrug, feeling some of the tension bleed out of him. “Are we okay, Dean? Are you disappointed or upset with me at all?”

“No. I mean, I want you to be where I am, but I can’t be mad that you’re not. Like you always say - we got time, right?”

“Forever,” Castiel says, feeling like he needs to remind him that’s how he’s thinking. Dean answers that word with one of his most breathtaking smiles and this time it’s Castiel who leans in to kiss him, pouring everything he has into it.

When they pull apart, Dean chews on his bottom lip for a moment before he asks, “After we go put the munchkin in her crib, do you wanna go lie down for a bit?”

He can read between the lines well enough to hear the unasked question: _Can you hold me?_ and his answer is the same for both.

“For as long as you need. Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

It’s just over a week later when Claire’s birthday comes up again.

 **DEAN:** What’re the rules for buying gifts now that we live together?

 **CASTIEL:** I’m not sure what you mean?

 **DEAN:** Well, do we buy Claire something together for her birthday or just do our own thing?

 **CASTIEL:** I was thinking whatever we got her would be from both of us, but if you don’t want to do that then it’s okay with me :)

 **DEAN:** No, that’s good. I’ve been thinking for a while now that I want to get her a train table. What do you think about that?

 **CASTIEL:** Judging by how much she loves the one at speech therapy I think she’d love that! Do you think we have the space for it right now though?

 **DEAN:** What about right behind the door? I know you’ve got that decorative bookshelf thing there now but it’s just for nicknacks, right? I could put a shelf up on the wall for the important shit and we could move the other stuff if you wanted to keep it.

 **CASTIEL:** You’re handy to have around :) But none of that stuff is important. Just junk to make the wall look less bare. It’s all trash. So yes, I believe the train table would work okay there.

 **DEAN:** :D Can I buy it then?

 **CASTIEL:** Go ahead lol I know you’re excited when you use the big smile. Just let me know how much my half is.

 **DEAN:** Don’t worry about it. I figure if you buy her dress and decorations it’ll balance out pretty close.

 **CASTIEL:** Are you just trying to save me money?

 **DEAN:** Not this time lol the one I want to get her for now isn’t one of the pricey ones. Swear it’ll be close  <3

 **CASTIEL:** <3

 

* * *

 

“So what are the plans for Claire’s birthday?” Mary asks once they’re all settled at the dinner table with homemade coleslaw, dinner rolls, roasted potatoes, and rotisserie chicken in front of them. “It’s only two weeks away and I haven’t gotten my invitation yet,” she teases.

“Bentley didn’t get one either,” Jess mentions.

Dean’s just looking at him, so he figures he’s supposed to answer this. “We’re not having a party, exactly. Just hoping to get everybody together for cake.”

“What!?” Sam says, obviously surprised. “She has to have a birthday party!”

“We didn’t have a big party for Bentley when he was two,” Jess reminds Sam.

“She doesn’t have friends to invite,” Castiel tries to explain.

“I wanna go to Claire’s birthday party!” Bentley exclaims.

“You will, buddy,” Dean responds.

“Can we have cake and goody bags?” he asks.

“Only if you eat all your dinner,” Dean tells him, grinning at Jess.

“Have I told you how handsome you are today?” Jess flirts, making Dean’s smile grow. Castiel completely ignores the two of them to continue his conversation with Mary.

“Mary, I hope this isn’t too much of imposition, but I was actually wondering if you would mind letting us use your house for the little get together? We don’t have enough space in our apartment for all of us to sit comfortably, and we’ll make sure to take care of all of the clean up afterwards, and -”

“Don’t say another word!” Mary interrupts him. Her eyes light up as she clasps her hands together with obvious glee. “I would be delighted to host a party for Claire.”

“Now he did it,” Jess says under her breath to Dean. He’s not surprised when Mary answers her - if he heard her, why wouldn’t Mary?

“And what is that supposed to mean?” she asks Jess lightly.

Dean snickers. “Gee ma, I’m stumped,” he says sarcastically.

“Dean Michael, don’t you sass me,” she reprimands him.

“I don’t know what’s happening,” Castiel admits. He’s used to that within this family, but at least he feels comfortable enough with all of them now to admit to it.

“In another life, mom would have been a party planner for the rich and famous,” Sam says, grinning at Mary.

“She tends to go a _little_ overboard,” Jess adds, which makes Sam and Dean both start chuckling.

“She didn’t when it was my birthday,” he comments. Then he presses his lips together into a tight line and tries to hide his flush for pointing that out. It’s probably because he’s not really family. He shouldn’t have said anything.

“That’s only because Dean wouldn’t let me anywhere near your birthday,” Mary says, reaching across the table to take his hand. “He insisted that too much fuss would overwhelm you. Believe me, I tried to spoil you like the rest of the family, but I’m sure you know how stubborn my son is.”

He tries not to blush further from the compliment and instead decides to throw his boyfriend under the bus. “I don’t know how you raised him as well as you did with a stubborn streak like his,” he says, smiling warmly at her.

“Oh yeah, ‘cause you’re a walk in the freakin’ park when you have your mind set on somethin’,” Dean replies ruefully.

“Man, you two couldn’t be more perfect for each other if you tried,” Jess says laughing.

Mary squeezes his hand once more before she lets go and they both go back to eating. “What did you have in mind for a theme?” she asks him.

“A theme?” he squeaks in surprise, turning to Dean for help. Dean is barely stifling a laugh, trying to hide it in the crook of his arm as he (very obviously) fake coughs. He lets his hand fall to Dean’s knee where he waits a split second before giving it a brief but painful squeeze.

“Y-yeah,” Dean answers on a choked off yelp. He bats Castiel’s hand away playfully before he says, “For, uh, decorations and the cake and sh-stuff.”

“Oh,” he responds. “I hadn’t thought about that. Have you?”

Dean shrugs. “I dunno. She obviously loves trains and cars.”

“Choo choo!” Claire says from her high chair. _Please_ , she signs.

“Sounds like a request to me,” Jess says. “You want a choo choo party, Claire?”

“Choo choo!” Claire repeats again, clapping her hands excitedly.

Jess lifts her eyebrows in their direction.

“I was thinkin’ - I could bake her a cake. You know, if you didn’t want to buy one,” Dean offers. “I could probably cut a train out of a big sheet cake. Make it look like Thomas.”

“Choo choo?” Claire says again.

“One track mind, that kid,” Dean says, then grins. “No pun intended.”

He smiles fondly at his boyfriend. “We would both love it if you’d make her birthday cake, sweetheart. Thank you.”

He can see out of the corner of his eye when Sam places a hand on his heart. “I get all misty eyed when I hear Castiel call you sweetheart,” he sighs dramatically. But he sobers up pretty fast when Jess smacks him lightly upside the back of the head.

“Well, _love muffin_ ,” Jess says to Sam, causing Dean to stick his tongue out at his brother. “You know I’m already excited. Dean makes _the best_ cake.”

“Remind me to give you some of the cake decorating tools I have from when I took that class a few years ago,” Mary says to Dean.

“Maybe I’ll just decorate it here? Bake it at home and bring it over early so you can help me, then I can help you get everything set up afterwards. Cas can bring the birthday girl when she’s up from her afternoon nap,” Dean suggests.

Castiel tries not to be disappointed at the idea of Dean not being home during Claire’s afternoon nap. They live together now and spend a lot of time together, but the times when Claire’s asleep are what he’s come to think of as _their_ time and it really doesn’t happen often. Realistically, it’s a good idea, though. He doesn’t like the thought of Mary being the one doing all the work while they sit at home together either, so this will have to do.

“I would love to help with the cake,” Mary answers.

“Sounds like a solid plan,” Castiel agrees.

 

* * *

 

So that’s what happens. The Sunday before Claire’s birthday, Dean leaves for Mary’s with a cake in the shape of a train in hand after a long, lingering kiss at the door that reminds Castiel of when they were dating and neither of them wanted the other to leave. He supposes the same thing is true now, but it’s been a while since he’s felt that way.

He busies himself with getting the gift they bought for Claire to open today ready for her. [It’s a photo album with talking pages](https://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDgwMA==/z/DHIAAOSwEOxXQCJx/%24_86.JPG). He has photos of himself, Dean, Mary, Jess, Sam and Bentley inside. Each person has recorded a little greeting saying their name and a hello to Claire. He’s hoping it will help Claire learn to say some version of their names. He turns the pages one by one, listening to their recordings again, and can’t help smiling to himself about how incredibly happy he is that Claire actually has a family to love and celebrate her birthday with her this year. He smiles to himself all throughout wrapping the gift and adding a bow on it, and as he goes to grab her dress, tights, shoes, and hair bow to get those ready too.

Dean found a [Thomas the Train dress](https://i.imgur.com/a11re0r.jpg) on some website that he knew he wouldn’t be able to resist once he showed him, and of course, Dean talking about how happy it would make Claire made him cave. So Claire has a red dress with white polka dots on it, with an embroidered Thomas the Train on the front, blue ribbon tied into bows on the sleeves, and a small blue ribbon around the hem to give it a feminine flare. Dean had sprung for a matching bow, and Castiel bought blue shoes to go put it all together.

Dean had justified the expense of the outfit by saying there’s no reason she can’t wear the dress again and again until she grows out of it - unlike a big poofy party dress - and Castiel found he couldn’t say no. If he can’t spoil his baby girl on her birthday, then when can he?

Dean sends him progress photos of the cake decorating, and with each one, he can see the cake transform more and more into Thomas the Train. When he gets the last one of Dean holding the completely decorated cake with a big, proud smile on his face, he knows immediately that Claire is going to _love it_ and he saves the picture to his phone to print later. He can feel his excitement building as he waits for Claire to wake up.

Finally, he hears her calling, “Da! Da! Dee! Uh!”

He practically jumps to his feet to go get her and is greeted with a great big smile when he walks into her room.

“Da! Da!” Claire says happily. “Dee!”

“Dee’s at Mary’s house with a choo choo birthday cake for Claire,” he tells her.

“Choo choo?”

“Yes!” he confirms, picking her up and laying her down on the change table to change her diaper. “And guess what Dee and Daddy bought you to wear? A choo choo dress.” Claire claps her hands and lets out a string of babble, Castiel keeping her distracted and talking by inserting small, “Yeah? Is that so?” anytime there’s a break. “Let’s go get your pretty dress on, okay?”

He places her on the ground and she takes off at a run out of the door and down the hall wearing only her diaper. He follows after her with a smile that grows when she sees her dress and squeals, “CHOO CHOO!”

This might be the easiest time he’s ever had getting her dressed, and she doesn’t stop babbling the entire time, pointing to her dress and repeating choo choo over and over and over.

“Do you want to go show Dee and Mary your Thomas dress?” he asks her once they’re both ready to go.

“Da! Dee! Choo choo!” _Please_ , she adds with her hands.

“Alright, Claire Bear, let’s go to your birthday party,” Castiel answers.

He grabs her gift and takes her hand, and the two of them walk down to his car and drive to Mary’s. After the warning Dean gave him, he isn’t sure why he’s surprised to see several bunches of red and blue balloons weighted down lining the sidewalk into Mary’s house. He can only imagine what the inside looks like.

Dean must have been waiting for them because Castiel has barely parked the car when Dean comes running out of the house. Dean goes right to the passenger door and pulls it open. He almost misses Claire’s squeal of, “Dee!” over Dean’s own (more manly) gasp of excitement.

“Holy crap! Look at your dress, baby! Do you have Thomas on your dress?” Dean asks her.

“Choo choo!” Claire confirms.

“I love it. You’re adorable,” Dean gushes as he gets her out of her seat. “So damn cute. Love you, blondie. Happy early birthday,” he adds, leaning in for a kiss. Claire indulges him before she spots the balloons and squeals again, wiggling to get out of Dean’s arms.

“And just like that I’m replaced by balloons,” Dean says, watching her walk away.

Castiel wraps his arms around him from behind and kisses the bolt of his jaw. “Believe me, balloons have nothing on you.”

Dean turns around to get a hand on the back of his neck to pull him in for a kiss, and when they break away a few seconds later their arms fall around each other and they’re both smiling. “Missed you, too,” Dean says. “Dress looks even cuter than I thought it would.”

“The sidewalk looks cuter than _I_ thought it would,” Castiel replies.

“Don’t judge us,” Dean says defensively. “My mom went a little nuts and I kinda got swept away in the insanity.”

Castiel sighs dramatically. “I should have known not to leave you in charge of reining anything in when it comes to Claire.”

Dean grins. “I’m not even sorry. Look at her with the balloons.”

She’s got them by the ribbon they’re tied to and is shaking it, giggling away as they bonk into her face gently. He hasn’t even seen what the inside of the house looks like yet, he hasn’t seen her face when she starts opening gifts, hasn’t sung her Happy Birthday yet or seen the cake Dean made for her, but already he has tears in his eyes.

He turns into Dean’s arms again and rests his head on his broad shoulder. Dean kisses the side of his head and says, “Okay?”

Castiel nods and blinks away the moisture gathering behind his eyelids. He thinks briefly about Claire’s first birthday where it was just the two of them and a cheap cake bought from a grocery store, and how he had to sing her Happy Birthday all by himself and burrows in even closer. He takes a few deep, calming breaths before he tells Dean what he’s thinking.

“I was just thinking about last year, and how we had nobody to celebrate with and how unbearably sad I was for Claire. And now - because of you - we both have a family to celebrate with today, and I love you so much, and am so incredibly thankful for you. There aren’t even words.”

“Cas,” Dean breathes. “You’ll never be alone on her birthday again, okay? I promise.”

And so it ends up being at Claire’s birthday party, standing at the end of Mary’s driveway while Claire bats at balloons, that Castiel realizes he believes him entirely. That pesky ten percent that was so adamant only a few weeks ago shrinks down to one, and he knows in an instant that he’s ready to ask for forever from Dean.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I'm late with this chapter, but I promise the art and the beta read was worth waiting for!

To say Castiel is nervous would be the understatement of the century. In fact, he’s certain he is more nervous right now than he’s ever been in his life. He wishes he was better at hiding it because he knows there’s no way Sam and Mary aren’t going to notice the way he’s sweating profusely.

At least he has a good reason.

Sam and Mary walk into the restaurant together and when they turn their heads in his direction he waves them over. They both take the seats across from him and they all exchange hellos.

“Thanks for inviting us, Castiel. It’s nice to get out of the daycare for lunch during the week,” Mary comments.

“Nice to not eat behind a desk for once,” Sam agrees.

“Thank you both for coming. I thought we could order, and then I have something I would like to discuss with you,” he says.

Mary nods encouragingly. “That sounds great. And please, don’t be so nervous. We’re family. Anything you have to say to us stays with us, and there’s never any judgement, okay?”

He wonders briefly what on earth she thinks he might want to tell them that might be worthy of their judgement, but doesn’t have the ability to concentrate on that right now with everything else he’s already worried about.

Mary tells him a story about Claire’s animal sounds during song time this morning while they wait. He ends up ordering himself a chicken caesar salad, hoping something lighter than his usual burger and fries might actually stay down. Once the waiter disappears to fill their orders he’s left with two pairs of curious eyes looking at him expectantly. He takes a drink of the water on the table and when he places it on the table, his hands are shaking so badly a few drops spill over the top.

“I’m sorry, I’m still a little nervous,” he admits.

“Just take it easy, Cas. It’s just us,” Sam tells him. The familiar nickname that Dean uses more than anybody calms him a little bit.

“I’m sure you probably already have a good idea what this is about,” he begins. “Dean and I have been basically living together for six months now, and I think you both know how much I love him.”

“And how much he loves you and Claire,” Mary supplies.

“I’m incredibly thankful to have him in my life, and while I know I don’t require your permission, I was hoping you would give me your blessing to ask him to marry me.” He swallows down his fear, ignores Mary covering her mouth with both of her hands and Sam’s grin, and adds, “I know that I’m young to have one failed marriage under my belt and to be thinking of another one already, and I’m aware that Dean and I haven’t been together for that long, but I know with everything that I am that we belong together. We’ve been through so much already and I’m positive there isn’t anything we can’t handle.”

“Wow!” Sam exclaims first, a big smile on his face. “I think it’s great!”

“So do I,” Mary agrees. “There’s no doubt in my mind that the two of you will be very happy together.”

He believes that she’s genuine in what she’s saying, but there’s also a lingering tone of something more. He swallows audibly and prompts, “But?”

Mary smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. “But, what’s the rush? You’re right when you say that you haven’t been together long, and if you’re right in your belief that you’re meant to be together, then why hurry to propose?”

He tries not to take Mary’s question personally and reminds himself she’s just a single mother trying to protect her first born. He thinks about how he might feel some day way, way down the line if they asked for Claire’s hand in marriage after only knowing her for such a short time, and uses those thoughts to form his response. “Honestly, I don’t feel like this is me being in a hurry. I feel like this is the next step in showing Dean how much I love him and how much he means to me. I’m not suggesting that we marry immediately - I actually prefer that we don’t - I just want my ring on his finger. I think...” then he stops and shakes his head and tries again. “I know it will make him incredibly happy.”

Sam clears his throat and tucks his own hair behind his ear in a gesture so like Mary Castiel can’t help but smile. “Have you and Dean talked about getting married?”

Castiel nods. “Yes. Before we moved in together he asked me if I wanted to be engaged first or move in together first. Obviously you know what my answer was, but he made it clear that he was thinking in this direction, and I told him then that I would let him know when I’m ready for more.”

“But you haven’t yet?” Sam asks.

Castiel shakes his head no. “I told him I would let him worry about the proposal, so he has no idea I’m even thinking about this now,” he says, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth when he thinks about how surprised Dean will be.

“He’s talked to me about it,” Sam confesses to both him and Mary. “Not recently, but a while ago. He asked me how I knew Jess was the one, and when I told him, he just - he had this expression on his face like he knew exactly what I was talking about.” Then he looks at Mary and says, “This can’t really be a surprise for you? You saw what Dean was like when he thought Castiel was going to break up with him over the Ketch thing, and that was before they were even living together. He was a goner from the beginning when it comes to Castiel and Claire.”

“Don’t get me wrong, there’s no doubt in mind how much Dean loves you, Castiel. None at all. In fact, if you had known Dean before you would see how obvious it is. There’s a _huge_ difference between being content and being happy, and you and Claire make Dean happy. There’s no question about that,” Mary tells him again.

Hearing Dean’s mom of all people say that to him just reinforces how sure he is about this: they belong together and he wants Dean to know it’s going to happen sooner than later.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, Castiel. I hope you know by now how I adore you and Claire more than I can even say. I just worry about, well, the excitement of a new relationship wearing off and feelings changing, and you both already being so deep into it by then that you can’t get out.”

Sam makes a face that shows he hadn’t thought about that yet, but he is now, and it instantly has Castiel’s back up.

“With all due respect, Mary, this isn’t some teenage romance. What Dean and I have isn’t based on the excitement of a new relationship. What we have is a partnership. We fold laundry together, take turns waking up with Claire on the weekends and cooking for each other, we argue over whose turn it is to change diapers and who paid for breakfast last. Dean’s got a list of every word Claire has ever said on his phone. He’s there for every one of her appointments, but even more than that, he’s there _for me_ every night before every appointment when I’m so worried that I can’t sleep. He _never_ falls asleep until I do.” He stops before he rambles on any further. Half of him knows that he’ll never really change her mind anyway, and the other half thinks that if he could just _explain_ everything Dean is for him and everything he hopes he is for Dean that she would understand why he’s so anxious to make it official.

“We’ve already started building a life together. This is not some honeymoon phase of a relationship that’s going to fizzle out in a year or five or even ten. What I feel for Dean is permanent, and I know he feels the same way about me. I’m sorry if you can’t see that in your own son, but I’m not going to let your doubts be the reason I don’t ask him to marry me.”

His anger helps him find the courage to square his shoulders and look her in the eye, and that’s when he realizes he had been talking to the table until now and that Mary and Sam are both staring at him with huge smiles on their faces.

“I don’t know how I forgot about the side of you that fought with me that day at the hospital, but I remember now,” she grins.

“I can’t believe I got to see it both times,” Sam adds, chuckling.

Mary pushes Sam a little and he laughs even harder. Then Mary turns back to him, leans back in her chair and asks, “So how are you going to ask him?”

He’s thrown off by the apparent change of heart. “You - you think it’s okay if I ask him?”

She arches her eyebrows. “I thought you weren’t going to let me be the reason you didn’t?”

“I’m not,” he says carefully. “But you are the closest thing I have to a mother now, and your blessing would mean a great deal to me.”

Mary’s expression goes soft and she sighs before she leans forwards again and reaches out across the table. Castiel lifts his hands to give them to her, knowing now that’s what she does when she wants to feel connected to somebody. She’s a lot like Dean in that way.

“I still wish you’d wait, but if you’re convinced you’ll be able to keep my baby _half_ as happy as he’s been since he’s known you for the rest of his life, I would be honored to have you officially join our family, sweetie,” she tells him. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re already one of my boys, and I love Claire just as much as I love Bentley.” Castiel’s smile is as big as it’s ever been. “My only condition is that you let her start calling me grandma as soon as that ring’s on Dean’s finger,” she teases.

“Yes,” Castiel breathes happily. “That would make me unbelievably happy. Thank you, Mary. You don’t know what this means to me.”

“That means I get to be Uncle Sam, right?” Sam asks hopefully, and Castiel just keeps smiling and nodding, trying his hardest not to let his emotions get the best of him so he doesn’t start crying right in the middle of the restaurant. He’s going to ask Dean to marry him and give both him and Claire an entire family and he can still hardly believe he gets to have this.

“Yes,” Castiel barely manages to choke out. “As soon as she can say it.”

“I’ll work on it until she says it just to shut me up, don’t worry,” Sam says with a grin. “Seriously though. I’m really happy for you. Dean’s definitely going to say yes.”

He thinks the same, though he appreciates the extra vote of confidence.

“Absolutely,” Mary agrees. “He’s besotted with you.”

“Not nearly as much as I am with him,” Castiel tells her. “Thank you both. Really.”

“I’m with mom though - I want to know how you’re going to ask him. Have you thought of anything?” Sam asks.

“Many things, but I haven’t decided quite yet. I want to do it soon so that it’s not eclipsed by Christmas.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Sam agrees.

“In fact, Sam, if you don’t have plans Saturday morning I was wondering if you might like to come with me to help pick out a ring while Dean and Claire are at swimming lessons. They’re usually gone about an hour.”

“I don’t know if you’ll be able to find one that fast, but I’ll come with you for sure,” he responds.

And so the rest of their meal passes with them making plans and sharing ideas back and forth, discussing what kind of ring they each think Dean would like. The one thing they all agree on is no diamonds or gems. Mary thinks regular gold, but Castiel was thinking something either white gold or platinum. Sam says Dean won’t care as long as it comes from Castiel.

By the time they finish eating and he insists on paying for both of their meals, he feels much better than he could have imagined only forty minutes ago. He hugs both Sam and Mary, and Sam tells him he’ll come pick him up Saturday morning so that he doesn’t have to worry about driving with how nervous he’ll be. Castiel isn’t looking forward to the nerves, but he appreciates doing this with somebody who’s already been through it, so he thanks him and makes his way back to work for the afternoon.

Not surprisingly, he’s distracted for a good portion of the day. Although it isn’t usually what he does at work, he spends his time in the stacks putting books away, and going through the surrounding areas to fix any that have been put back in the wrong place from people who were browsing. It’s something he can do mindlessly while he thinks about how he’s going to propose.

The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes doing this without Claire would feel all kinds of wrong. Sure, she has no idea what’s going on, and she isn’t going to be reliable to help in any kind of significant way, but he wants her to be there. He thinks of and then promptly dismisses several ideas: getting Claire to wear a shirt asking Dean to marry her dad, getting the kids at the daycare to hold up signs, singing karaoke the Roadhouse, trying to teach Claire to sign it to Dean, doing it at the playground where they spend more time with Claire than anywhere else.

And then it comes to him. He feels the same sense of _this is it_ as he did when he realized he was in love with Dean for the first time, and he knows it’s perfect.

When he gets home from work that night, he orders pizza in for dinner and opens a beer to relax some before Dean gets home with Claire. He greets Dean at the door with a beer of his own and a kiss that leaves them both wanting more, and he can’t seem to keep his hands off of him as the evening goes on. He sits as close to him as he can and touches him at every opportunity. Though they’re usually fairly affectionate on any given day, this is a bit extra, so he supposes he shouldn’t be surprised when Dean questions his behavior.

“What’s up with you tonight, huh?” Dean asks him.

“What do you mean?” Castiel asks back, suddenly nervous he may be giving some kind of hint towards what he’s decided on.

Dean arches a brow. “It’s been what - three days?”

Castiel frowns in confusion. Three days? Three days since what?

“Nice to know you’re not getting tired of my ass.”

Castiel chuckles once he realizes what Dean thinks is going on. “Nowhere near tired of it,” he promises, leaning in to kiss him again, sliding their lips together tenderly. “Will you let me make love to you tonight? Nice and slow?”

Dean swallows and nods, catching his lips for another gentle kiss. “Love you.”

“And I love you,” he responds.

He looks at the clock and sees it’s another half hour until it’s time to start Claire’s bedtime routine. He hopes fleetingly that the time goes by quickly, and then immediately feels guilty for thinking it. Tearing himself away from Dean, he spends the next thirty minutes playing with Claire, tickling her, chasing her around the living room, and tossing her gently onto the couch where she lands on Dean laughing so hard she can’t even catch her breath.

At her doctor’s suggestion, they stopped giving her milk before bed and after her naps now, but the three of them still spend some time snuggling together on the couch before Dean takes her to get her diaper changed and her pajamas on. Tonight’s his turn to read to her before bed, so when Dean calls for him that they’re ready, he goes in and switches places with Dean, watching with a smile on his face when Claire kisses Dean goodnight before reaching for him. Dean kisses him next and then winks at him, and he tries to ignore what that might mean for him while he concentrates on reading to Claire and putting her in her crib.

“Daddy loves you, princess. Have a good sleep,” he says softly as he closes the door behind him.

Dean either heard him close the door behind him or has excellent timing, because just as he’s beginning to wonder about what the wink was for again, he hears a soft groan of pleasure that he’s _very_ familiar with float through the opened crack of their bedroom door. He only feels a tiny bit creepy when he walks towards it and peeks through without opening it, wanting a look at what Dean’s doing before he knows he can see him. The sight’s enough to steal his breath.

Dean’s completely naked, with one foot propped up on the bed, and what looks like two fingers buried inside of himself. His head’s tipped back, his mouth’s hanging open, and Castiel lets his eyes take in the way Dean’s wide shoulders heave as he stretches himself.

He’s sure he doesn't even last a full minute watching before he enters the bedroom and strips off his clothes as efficiently as he can. Dean shoots him a cocky grin over his shoulder and keeps fingering himself without a word.

“Don’t let me interrupt,” Castiel tells him.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t,” Dean responds.

Castiel approaches him from behind and runs his hands along his back, still blown away and incredibly turned on by the brawn of his boyfriend’s body. “Do you know how good you look fucking yourself on your fingers right now?” he asks. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”

“All yours, hon,” Dean promises.

Castiel wraps his hand around Dean’s waist, caressing the expanse of his stomach and hard chest as he sucks a finger into his mouth. He gets it as wet with saliva as he can, knowing Dean will already have sufficient lube to help him slip inside of him, and lowers his now wet fingers to circle Dean’s hole while Dean’s own fingers are stuffed inside.

“Shit,” Dean breathes shakily.

“Mmm,” Castiel replies, nipping at the bolt of his jaw while he slides his finger alongside two of Dean’s, causing both of them to groan from the sensation. He tugs at his rim, getting the most beautiful breathy little sounds from Dean as he does it, and can feel his own cock already getting painfully hard just from this. Dean loves any part of him being inside of him and listening to how much he’s obviously enjoying this has Castiel’s mind flipping through all the things he could do to him.

“I could bend you over and fuck you hard and fast, face first on the bed right now, and you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he asks him.

“Yes,” Dean sighs. “Do it, Cas. Fuck me.”

He seriously considers it when Dean tilts his ass back in invitation. Thinks about how he could grab Dean by his shoulder and pull him back onto his cock as he fucks him quick and dirty, how he could pull out and watch himself come all over that ass he likes so much, then slick up his fingers with his cum and finger fuck Dean until he comes on himself.

Another time, yes, but that’s not what he wants right now.

“Soft and slow, tonight, remember?” he reminds Dean, pulling his finger out of him and guiding Dean’s hand away, too. He turns him around and finally gets to kiss him slow and deep, exactly the way he’s wanted to all night but knew better to start when they couldn’t keep going. _Now_ they can keep going, and when Dean’s thumbs press into the notch of his hips and pulls him in until they’re flush against one another, he moans into his mouth but just keeps kissing him. Their mouths fuse together while his hands roam Dean’s body lovingly, sweeping up his back and onto his shoulder blades, holding on to his thick biceps before running back up his arms and down to the curve of his lower back.

They make their way onto their bed, and then it’s a tantalizing dance of hands pulling pleasure from each other, lips and tongues tasting skin, and the sensual roll of two bodies that know each other as well as any two people can. By the time he slides his fingers back inside of Dean to make sure he’s ready, Dean’s using his own hands to slick up Castiel’s cock and lifting himself up onto his knees to straddle him.

“Wait, sweetheart, hang on,” Castiel tells him gently.

He scoots back until he’s leaning back against the headboard and then pulls him close once more, sealing their lips together again as he holds his cock steady so that Dean can lower himself down onto it. Their lips part as they both gasp with pleasure when Dean sinks down slowly, taking him inside of that tight heat inch by exquisite inch, and it’s _so good_. It’s always so good with Dean, every single time, and Castiel wants to cry all over again knowing that he’s started the ball rolling to make sure he can have this - have Dean - in his life forever.

Once Dean is completely seated, he pulls him closer so there’s almost no space between their bodies, and their lips seal together again. Neither of them can move much in this position, but that’s okay. There’s no rush tonight. There’s nothing but love right now, and the sweet, heavenly pleasure building within him slowly but deliciously. There’s something beautiful about Dean giving himself over like this, letting him set the pace even though Dean’s the one on top and could easily speed things up to get them both off faster if he chose to. But the way Dean keeps touching his face and brushing his hands tenderly through his sweaty hair is enough to let him know he’s enjoying this as much as he is.

They trade dozens of _I love yous_ , kiss promises of forevers into each other’s skin, and hold each other like they never want to let go. They rock together for what feels like ages, until they’re both sweating and panting and he can hardly stand the sweet torture of feeling so incredibly good but not quite _there_ good enough. Necessity means they have to stop twice to add more lube so Dean doesn’t get too sore, and it’s only after the second time that Castiel can’t possibly wait any longer, and runs his hands along Dean’s powerful thighs before he dips down to tease Dean’s hole with his fingers.

“Ah! God, that feels good,” Dean gasps. “Been on the edge for fucking ever. You close?”

He’s not getting nearly enough friction this way to get him off, but he’s felt his oncoming orgasm building inside of him for a long time and knows it won’t take much to get him there. More than that, though, he doesn’t want Dean to stop what he’s doing. He wants to be face to face when Dean comes. “Keep going. I want you to see you,” he tells him.

“Wanna feel you come in me first,” Dean whispers, dragging his lips along his jaw.

Castiel groans, knowing it’s still not easy for Dean to admit that and loving him that much more for saying it aloud. “Faster then,” he tells him, squeezing his ass in his hands and guiding him into a rhythm that’s going to get him to the finish line. Dean’s thighs are shaking with exertion, and he knows it’s only because of his spinning classes that he’s been able to keep going this long.

With a new determination to ease any discomfort Dean may be in, he makes sure Dean’s cock slides against his stomach with each roll of his hips, eliciting a sharp gasp from his lips. He does what he can to thrust up to meet him halfway, hitting his prostate harder than he has so far tonight and getting his wish when Dean drops his forehead against his. His mouth is hanging open, his face is flushed red, and sweat is dripping down the side of his face - and still, he’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

“Oh, Dean,” Castiel breathes. “So gorgeous. So perfect. I‘m so in love with you.”

“Cas,” Dean whispers. His green eyes are still startling bright but unfocused with pleasure. “Need you. Need you to come, baby, please.”

A thrill of desire runs through him when he hears just how desperate Dean sounds, and he’s suddenly ravenous to see and feel Dean spill hot and wet between them. He slides his hand between their bodies and drags his thumb beneath the crown of his shaft, stimulating the sensitive bundle of nerves there and getting a whine from Dean. He swipes his thumb across his leaky cock head and then switches hands so he can bring it up between their lips, groaning when their eyes lock just as Dean’s tongue darts out to help him clean it off.

He feels Dean clench around him a split second before his jaw goes slack again and warmth erupts over his hand onto his stomach with a silent scream of pleasure from Dean. The erotic sight and the rhythmic pulsing so tight around him is just enough to coax his own orgasm out of him, and after feeling it build for so long, the explosion of pleasure all at once is exhilarating. His head slams back onto the headboard but the pain is almost entirely forgotten when he feels Dean lean in and kiss him hungrily - like they haven’t already been making out for however long it took them to get here - and they don’t break apart until they’re both completely spent and feeling boneless.

Dean finally climbs off of him wincing, and they wipe themselves down with a towel between languid kisses before they curl up together, both sated and exhausted in the best kind of way.

“Thank god I don’t have spin class tomorrow. I dunno if I’m gonna be able to move my legs after that,” Dean comments.

“You were unbelievable, Dean,” Castiel praises him, kissing the top of his head.

“ _That_ was unbelievable. We need to try to slow it down like that more.” He lets out a huff of laughter at that, because they both know it’s Dean who doesn’t do so well with waiting. “Yeah, yeah, shuddup.”

“Thank you for indulging me,” Castiel says.

“Anytime, and I mean that,” Dean answers. “What was with the extreme level of lovey dovey today anyway?”

Castiel hates the idea of lying to Dean, so he tries to answer as honestly as he can. “I just had one of those days where I couldn’t stop thinking about you and how happy I am with the way things are going between us. I wanted to show you. I hope I wasn’t too clingy.”

Dean makes a sound of disagreement. “You know how much I like bein’ close to you.”

Castiel smiles at that. “I do.”

Dean snuggles in closer and says, “Don’t ever leave me, okay?”

He wonders what on earth would ever make him say such a thing. “Never, Dean. Never _ever_. You know that, right?”

“Yeah. I do. Sorry. Just like hearing you say it, I guess.”

“I’ll tell you more often,” he promises, smiling to himself about how much better Dean will feel with his ring on his finger.

 

* * *

 

On Saturday morning, Sam comes to pick him up at 9:05, exactly five minutes after Dean and Claire leave for swimming lessons.

Sam has a big smile on his face when Castiel climbs into his SUV, and greets him with a, “Good morning!”

“Good morning,” he responds. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“No problem! How’re you feeling?”

“Surprisingly calm.”

Sam nods, seemingly impressed. “Good for you, man. Jess wanted me to tell you that you suck for asking me and not her, by the way.” Castiel chuckles, knowing Jess well enough by now to know that isn’t meant as an insult. “I was thinking we’d hit the mall. There’s gotta be at least six jewelry stores in there. Figured it was a good place to start, unless you had somewhere else in mind you wanted to go.”

“The mall sounds logical.”

They start talking about his budget, and he’s happy that for once in his life he can divulge to somebody that he actually has money in the bank and he’s sure what he has saved will be more than enough for a ring. Splitting living expenses with Dean on top of not having to pay for daycare has enabled him to save a large portion of his paycheck over the last few months. It’s been an incredible weight lifted from his shoulders to no longer be living from paycheck to paycheck. He has wiggle room in his budget for the first time ever because of the partnership between he and Dean, and he’s hopeful that will never change.

They go into the first jewelry store closest to where Sam parked, and while he still isn’t feeling nervous, he’s definitely feeling like he doesn’t belong in a place like this. The rings the sales lady shows him are all gorgeous, but nothing says _Dean_ to him. After looking at several displays of rings blankly, they leave without purchasing anything, and he doesn't feel like he’s any closer to knowing what he’s looking for than he was before they went inside.

“So what did you think?” Sam asks as they walk back out into the mall.

He shrugs his shoulders in defeat. “I don’t know. I felt like they were all either too plain or too gaudy with all the diamonds on them. I know Dean doesn’t like the look of that kind of ring, but at the same time, I don’t want to get him anything just plain. It wouldn’t suit him.”

Sam huffs out a bit of laughter and gives him a sideways smile. “Yeah, Dean’s never been plain a day in his life. I still don’t think he’d like anything real fancy, though.”

“There has to be some kind of an in-between,” Castiel insists.

Another two stores and twenty minutes later, he’s really beginning to feel lost when absolutely nothing jumps out at him. Maybe this is some sort of sign that he isn’t supposed to buy a ring yet?

“Hey, don’t worry, man,” Sam says, clapping him on the back in a friendly way and pulling him away from his own negative thoughts. “I probably went to ten stores before I finally picked one out for Jess, and we’ve only been to three of the six stores in here. There’s still the other mall, and all those locally owned places downtown we can check out if you want.” He gestures to the next store ahead of them, “Let’s hit this one next. It’s actually where I got Jess’s.”

He allows himself to be led towards the store and suffers through the two painful minutes of small talk _again_ , explaining that he’s looking for an engagement ring for his boyfriend, and no, Sam isn’t him. This time, the sales lady asks him what the other rings didn’t have that he wants Dean’s to have, and he answers, “I’m sure you hear this kind of thing all the time, but Dean’s special. He’s a simple man in the best way possible, but he’s absolutely gorgeous inside and out, so a plain band isn’t what I’m looking for. But at the same time, he would absolutely hate anything with diamonds or other gems on it.”

She nods her head and purses her lips, clearly thinking. “So simple but not plain, something unique, but nothing flashy.” He and Sam exchange glances and nod their agreement. “I think we can come up with something. Come with me,” she says, smiling at them.

He follows along with Sam barely a step behind him and waits while the lady unlocks a glass case and places a tray of rings in front of him, pointing to two rows while she says, “These are called our _ArtCarved_ pieces. They’re all 14 carat gold - we have yellow gold, white gold, and rose gold - and they have subtle geometric patterns on them.” She plucks one from the tray and lays it in her palm. “They each have different edges, too, so feel free to pick them up and take a look.”

Castiel is barely listening, though, because his eyes were automatically pulled to [ one ring ](https://imgur.com/MVQefbB) and he can feel nerves start twisting in his stomach the longer he looks at it. “May I?” he asks, gesturing towards it.

“Absolutely,” she replies.

He glances at Sam fleetingly before he reaches out and taps it with his finger. The face of the ring is smooth to the touch although it looks rough, and he actually really likes that. There’s all three types of gold in this specific design, but he’s drawn to the white gold, so he carefully pulls it out of the tray and places it in his palm. The edges remind him of a quarter, and he likes how the inside is a copper color, the contrast giving it just a little bit of a flair. But what he really likes is the geometric pattern on the face of the ring the sales person mentioned. It’s subtle, but at the same time it makes it just a little bit different - a little bit _more_ \- than a plain ring.

He gets a flash of this ring on Dean’s finger, glinting in the light while he strums his guitar, and he knows that this ring is meant for Dean just as clearly as he knows that Dean is meant for him.

Even knowing that this is it, he asks Sam’s opinion anyway. “What do you think?” He’s surprised to hear how rough his voice is, and clears his throat subconsciously.

“I think you nailed it. It’s totally Dean. Different than anything else we’ve seen, but not like, weirdly different, you know? Simple enough that he won’t complain about ‘looking like a chick’, but still nice. Really nice.”

He can hear his smile grow as Sam bolters his confidence. It _is_ really nice. He knows it doesn’t matter - that he’ll charge whatever he has to in order to get this ring if he doesn’t have enough - but he asks anyway. “How much is it?”

The lady tips the tray up to see underneath and says, “$1,055, and we have financing available if you need it.”

“I just need a moment,” he says, then places the ring back down reluctantly and turns to walk a couple of steps with Sam beside him.

Sam immediately says, “If you need some more money, you know Jess and I can spot you whatever you need. I’d rather have you pay us back than a place like this who probably charges a ton of interest on whatever they offer.”

He smiles softly at Sam’s thoughtfulness but shakes his head. “That’s not necessary, but I appreciate the offer. I was wondering if you think that’s enough to spend on a ring for Dean?”

“Enough?” Sam repeats. “What do you mean?”

“Dean and I are worlds apart financially. While a thousand dollars seems like a lot of money to me, it isn’t to him, and I don’t want him to feel disappointed or let down with the quality of the ring I buy him. I want him to love it and wear it every day for the rest of his life.”

Sam just grins at him. “You really have no idea how gone on you he is, do you? Listen, you could _literally_ buy him a ring from one of those gumball machines out front and he’ll still cry like a baby and wear it every day for the rest of his life because it’s from _you_. You don’t have to worry about how much it costs.”

“Yes, but -”

“Cas,” Sam interrupts him, still grinning. “I think a thousand dollars is more than enough to spend on a ring for Dean.”

Castiel squints at him, trying to make sure he isn’t just humoring him. “Really?”

“Really,” Sam confirms. “You think that’s the one?”

“I’m absolutely certain,” he says with a nod of his head. Then his smile spreads again when he says, “Let’s go buy it.”

Unfortunately he doesn’t know Dean’s ring size, but between him and Sam, they establish that Dean’s fingers are wider than Sam’s and not as wide as his own (which he tries and fails to not blush over considering _how_ he knows the size of Dean’s fingers so well), so it narrows it down fairly well. The sales lady assures him he can exchange it for another size within thirty days or have the one he buys sized to fit Dean, so he doesn’t worry about it too much.

It isn’t until he has the ring in a small bag and they’re walking back out to Sam’s SUV that what just happened hits him like a sucker punch to the gut.

He bought a ring so he can ask Dean to marry him.

He’s going to _propose_ to Dean.

To the most amazing man he’s ever known, who literally anybody would want to be with, who could do so much better than him...

“Castiel? Cas?” Sam’s voice is concerned and he comes back to himself enough to realize he’s stopped walking in the middle of the mall and Sam has his hand on his elbow, guiding him towards a bench and gesturing for him to sit down. “What’s the matter? You okay?”

“I believe the panic has set in,” he responds quietly, which gets a light chuckle from Sam. He turns towards him and asks, “What if he says no? What if he realizes that I’m - I’m nothing compared to him - that I’ve got all this baggage and Claire and -”

“Cas, come on, man. You’re everything to Dean, and so is Claire. He loves you both more than anything! There’s no way he’s going to say no. And if he ever heard you talk about yourself like that he’d be the first one to kick your ass for it.”

He nods, knowing that much is true. “I just - I know he loves me and I know he loves Claire, but I suppose a part of me is still waiting for the day he realizes he could do so much better.”

Sam frowns at him, showing how unhappy he is to hear him talking that way, but his voice is soft and understanding when he answers him. “I don’t know if this is going to help or not, but a part of me still feels that way with Jess after all this time. She’s gorgeous and funny, and smart as a whip, and a lot of the time I have no idea what she’s doing with dorky giant like me. But we don’t get to choose who falls in love with us, _they_ do. So at some point we have to trust them and try to believe that they know they’re slumming it and just don’t care,” he says with a big, cheesy smile, and Castiel laughs without meaning to. “Aha! Looks like you started breathing again.”

“I do feel less… jittery,” he admits. “Thank you for talking me off of the proverbial ledge.”

“What’re friends for.” They both get to their feet and start walking back to the parking lot. “You know, when I got Jess’s ring, Dean came with me. And when I started freaking out saying pretty much the same things you just said, Dean just nodded along like he agreed with everything I was saying and told me that he was counting down the days until Jess came to her senses and shacked up with him instead of me.”

Castiel laughs again, feeling even more at ease now that he’s thinking about Dean. “That does sound like him.”

“At least now with you putting a ring on him, I can finally stop worrying about that,” Sam teases, and just like that, Castiel begins to forget about the possibility of being turned down, and instead, decides to focus on the family he’s already gained.

 

* * *

 

“Caaaas,” Dean whines. “Why do we have to do this? I _hate_ having my pictures taken!”

He sighs heavily, already low on patience after listening to this all week and all morning.

“It’s _your_ mother, Dean. I suggest you call _her_ and whine at her instead of me. In fact, I insist. The next time you whine my name like that I’m calling her myself.”

Dean straightens up and pins him with a glare. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” he threatens. “And if you had to listen to yourself whine every day for a week like I have, you would do the same to me.”

“You’re meaner than I thought you were,” Dean pouts, slouching back against the couch and crossing his arms over his chest.

“And to think I was worried about _Claire’s_ behavior,” he says under his breath.

“I heard that!”

Castiel pushes a hand through his hair and then curses once it’s halfway through, knowing he just ruined it. Again. “Now look what you made me do!” he complains.

In a display of courage Castiel _almost_ envies, Dean grins at him. “You know I like the sex hair look on you anyway.”

Instead of completely losing his patience and giving into the urge to strangle the man he loves so much, he grabs a comb and Claire’s detangling spray, and then plops Claire in his lap so he can do her hair. “Just keep watching UmiCar, sweetie, Dad’s going to do your hair for our pictures.”

He sections off one side of her hair and wets it with the spray, puts one tiny hair band in and braids the small pony, then adds a bow as a finishing touch. She’s already in her blue denim overall dress and a white shirt with flutter sleeves, and Castiel considers it a stroke of luck that the shirt has remained white long enough to leave the house.

He and Dean are both dressed in jeans as well. Dean’s in a navy blue t-shirt with a shallow v-neck, and he’s wearing a white button down t-shirt with tiny navy and teal checkers on it. He has a necklace made out of teal beads for Claire once they get to the park, but he doesn’t want to give it to her yet in case she breaks it. He and Mary picked out their clothing with extreme care over the last week, and he knows her, Sam, Jess and Bentley are all dressed in clothes that will coordinate with theirs.

Thinking about how the pictures - their first official family photos - will turn out has him (mostly) forgetting about his prior annoyance with Dean, and he reaches over to rub his knee lovingly. “You ready to go, sweetheart?”

“Don’t try sucking up now,” Dean tells him, but he can see a ghost of a smile on his lips and knows he’s only teasing.

He puts Claire back down beside him and scoots over to raise his hand to Dean’s face. He runs his thumb across his cheek and meets him halfway to catch Dean’s lips when he leans in for a kiss.

Dean pulls away enough to say, “I lied. Keep sucking up all you want,” before he kisses him again, pressing his lips more insistently against his. He smiles into it, and they eventually pull apart when he feels Claire trying to climb up his back.

He gets his hands behind him to make sure she isn’t going to fall off and he and Dean both laugh when Claire pokes her head over his shoulder and says, “Hi Da! Dee!”

“Who’s this little monkey on my back?” Castiel asks.

“Ooh-ooh-ah-ah!” Claire responds, playing along.

“A monkey is way cuter than Claire!” Dean teases her.

She bursts out in giggles and says, “Nooooo!”

He and Dean are both laughing along with her when they get to their feet, Castiel keeping Claire on him in a piggy back. When Dean leads the way out the door Castiel takes the chance to pat his pockets one more time to make sure he has everything he needs, and then they’re off.

The park he and Mary picked out is about ten minutes away, and they have fifteen minutes until they’re supposed to be there. When they pull into the dirt parking lot, he can see that they’re the last to arrive, and everybody looks - well, picturesque. Mary pulled this all together beautifully, and he makes a mental note to send her some flowers next week.

He gets Claire out of her seat and she takes off towards Bentley at a dead run calling, “Beewee!”

“I know this is the wrong thing to say, but I hope she calls him that for their whole damn lives,” Dean says from behind him. “I hope they’re like, ten and thirteen and Bentley’s at that age when he’s trying to be all cool in front of his buddies and she calls him that and he’s totally mortified.”

Castiel’s heart fills the way it always does when Dean talks about their future like that. He tries to mask it by pulling him in beside him and sliding his hand into his back pocket. “You’re a terrible person, you know that?”

Dean just grins unabashedly. “You love me.”

“More than you know,” Castiel replies. “Come on.”

They walk towards the rest of their family and when the photographer turns around to greet them, Castiel holds out a hand for him to shake. “Nice to meet you. I’m Castiel. The little one is my daughter, Claire, and this is my boyfriend Dean.”

“Balthazar, splendid to meet you both,” he replies with a toothy grin. “Shall we get started, then?” he asks, and there’s a general sound of agreement from everybody. “I like to start with the wee ones. Let’s get them together on the blanket over here.”

Bentley and Claire are perfect little models for the camera through several poses, and everybody watching them is cooing with delight when Balthazar gets Claire to kiss Bentley on the cheek for a picture. He takes several shots of Jess and Sam with Bentley next, then Mary with both Bentley and Claire, and Mary with Dean, Sam, Bentley and Claire, then everybody.

Then it’s their turn, and he and Dean get into position with Claire. They pose with Claire in his arms with Dean’s arms around them both, with Claire walking between them holding their hands, and with Dean on his stomach on the ground, his chin in his hands, and Castiel and Claire both sitting on his back. They do a funny shot where Claire’s hanging upside down with each of them holding her up by an ankle while they share a kiss behind her, and then Balthazar sets up the shot they talked about.

Claire is several steps ahead of them sitting on her bottom facing the camera while he and Dean stand side by side in front of a group of large boulders with the lake at their back, not able to keep the smiles off of their faces after taking so many cute photos as a family.

“Okay, Cassie -” Balthazar begins and Dean can’t hold in the snort of laughter.

“ _Cassie_. God, why have I never thought to call you that before?”

Castiel pokes him in the ribs and Dean grabs him by the wrists while Castiel tries to get away to poke him again.

“Children - over here, please!” Balthazar teases them. Dean lets him go, so Castiel takes the opportunity to poke him once more quickly, earning himself a glare from his boyfriend that just makes him huff with laughter. “Dean, you look this way, and Cassie, love, grab him by the arm and look up at him with hearts in your eyes okay?”

His heart starts pounding wildly, knowing this is the last minute he has before his life’s going to change forever - one way or another.

“That’ll be hard,” he hears Sam comment. He doesn’t miss the finger Dean gives him or the way Mary chastises him and apologizes to the photographer, and the familiar chaos of his family helps to keep him calm for what he’s about to do.

He takes a subtle but deep breath and gets into position, feeling like his stomach has already dropped onto the floor. He smiles at Dean as genuinely as he can while he hears Balthazar making funny noises to get Claire to smile, and once he says, “Perfect! Got it!” he takes a step back and holds Dean’s hand between them.

Dean furrows his brow trying to figure out what he’s doing, and already, he can feel his heart leap into his throat.

“It’s been 259 days since the sight of you standing in my doorway took my breath away, and I still feel like it’s hard to breathe every time I see you,” he begins. Dean’s expression goes soft, but Castiel keeps talking. “Looking back, I couldn’t have known I would feel increasingly _more_ breathless with every day I spent falling in love with you, but now I’ve come to realize that you’ll always make me feel this way, and I can’t imagine my life without you anymore.”

He snakes his hand in his pocket and pulls the ring out, holding it in the palm of his hand as he drops down to one knee. Dean’s lips part in surprise. As he looks up at him, he notices that Dean’s bottom lip has begun to tremble, his green eyes are shining with unshed tears, and his thumb is brushing reassuringly back and forth over the back of Castiel’s hand. Even now, when he’s on one knee in front of him, Dean manages to give him the strength to keep going. It’s no wonder his voice is thick when he continues talking.

“I will love you and cherish you and do everything I possibly can for the rest of my life to be worthy of the love you’ve given me and Claire. This is my promise of forever,” he says, holding the ring up between his shaking thumb and index finger as the first tear slides down his face. “Please give me the honor of allowing me to continue to share my heart, my life, and my daughter with you and only you for as long as I live. Let this be another moment you take my breath away, Dean, and say you’ll be my husband?”

The _instant_ Castiel pauses, Dean breathes, “ _Yes!_ ” before he drops to down onto the boulder behind them and pulls him into the vee of his legs and wraps him up in the tightest hug he’s ever experienced. He’s overcome with more happiness than he thought one little word could be the cause of, and his eyes fill faster than he has any hope of controlling. “Yes, yes, yes,” Dean repeats, kissing the side of his face and his hair over and over. Dean’s hands sweep up his back and cradle his head to his chest, and Castiel feels more kisses pressed to his head while they both laugh through his tears.

Dean said yes! _Thank God_ , Dean said yes.

Dean tugs him up off of the ground so he’s sitting beside him on the boulder, and suddenly Dean’s hands frame his face, their eyes lock, and Dean chokes out, “Cas,” before their lips meet in a short but sweet kiss.

“Do that again! But hold it this time!” Balthazar calls out. Both of their smiles grow when they’re reminded that this is being photographed, but they both move back in anyway, sliding their lips together in a soft and lingering kiss.

Dean pulls away first and wipes at Castiel’s face. “I can’t believe you did this,” Dean whispers. “You have no freaking idea how happy I am right now. Surprised the hell outta me.” They rest their foreheads together and try to get themselves under control. He’s sure he’ll never forget how happy he is in this moment for as long as he lives.

Balthazar interrupts again and says, “Can we get the ring on his finger before I lose the little one?”

Castiel looks over to see Claire is holding a chalkboard sign in her hand now. He knows it says, _Future Winchesters_ and he already can’t wait to show Dean when they get the pictures back.

 

 

 

 

He takes Dean’s hand in his and kisses his palm before he slides the ring onto his finger. It feels a tad loose, but he doesn’t know if a smaller size would have fit. The sight of his ring on Dean’s finger completely overwhelms him all over again, and when their eyes lock new tears start falling. He wipes them away impatiently, and asks, “Do you like it?”

Dean has to clear his throat before he can respond, “It’s perfect, Cas. I love you so damn much.”

“I love _you_.”

“Hold up your hand and look over here,” Balthazar tells them. “Smashing! Let’s break for five to get the tears and mucous off of all your faces, yes?”

Mary is the one who makes it over to them first, and Castiel watches through his tears when she hugs Dean and says something that makes Dean groan, “Maaaaa.” He’s smiling at the two of them so big he doesn’t even hear Sam running over, but he _does_ notice when he’s lifted right off of his feet and thrown over his shoulder.

“Sam!” Castiel complains, but he’s laughing too hard to get him to take him seriously.

“ _I told you_ he was going to say yes!” Sam yells. The he starts singing a chorus of, “ _If you like it then you better put a ring on it,”_ repeatedly while spinning him in circles. The next thing he knows, he feels a light slap on his ass at every turn.

“Sam!” he yelps in surprise. “Stop it!” Then he hears Jess burst out laughing and he knows it was her. “Jess! What are you _doing_?” he laughs.

“Just welcoming you into the world’s weirdest family,” she explains, and finally, Sam lowers him back down to the ground with a friendly pat on the shoulder.

It’s exceedingly difficult to look unimpressed when he’s greeted by the sight of every single Winchester smiling at him so wide but he tries anyway, right until Dean comes to his side and wraps his arm around him protectively.

“Pretty sure this ring on my finger means _I’m_ the only one who’s allowed to sweep my fiancé off his feet now,” Dean says, grinning.

Happiness explodes in his chest when he hears _fiancé_ come out of Dean’s mouth _._ Mary and Jess both let out a little squeal of excitement, and then he’s got the two of them hanging off of him in an uncoordinated hug, and as he’s being squished he wonders fleetingly if this is what it feels like to be part of a family.

“Wait a second - you all knew about this didn’t you?” Dean asks them.

“Yep,” Sam answers him.

“How the hell did he get _you_ to keep a secret?” Dean asks Sam. “You’re literally the worst at blabbing.”

Mary pulls away just enough to look Castiel in the face. “Welcome to the family, sweetie.”

He can’t help the heat he feels rise to his cheeks. “Thank you, Mary.”

Balthazar comes walking over with Claire in his arms and Castiel realizes that they were all so busy celebrating that they completely forgot to keep an eye on the kids. Balthazar goes to hand her off to him but Dean comes over with his arms out.

“I can take her,” Castiel offers.

“Da!” Claire says happily.

“No, I got her,” Dean says, holding his arms up again.

Balthazar looks between the two of them and then turns towards Claire. “Who do you want to go see, darling?”

“Da! Dee!” she answers, reaching for Dean.

“Aha. Very clever,” Balthazar comments, handing her over to Dean.

“Yes, she’s very bright,” Castiel answers proudly.

“Well yes, I’m sure she is, but what I meant was how smart it is that she calls you Da and Dean Daddy. Nobody will get confused that way.”

Castiel’s lips part in surprise when understanding slams into him like a bus. He remembers Dean complaining about how Claire started saying Da as much as she says Dee even when he isn’t there, and he just never put it together. Even today when she started climbing up over his back she had said, “Hi Daddy!” and not, “Hi Da! Dee!”

How could they have missed this?

“Oh my god,” he whispers, his hand coming up to cover his mouth in complete shock.

Dean’s just staring at him wide-eyed like he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say or do, and Castiel takes the few steps towards him to place his hand on his lower back.

“I’m not - she didn’t mean -” Dean tries to say, but he stops to swallow so hard Castiel can hear it from beside him.

“Claire,” Castiel interrupts him. “Who’s this?” he asks, pointing to himself.

“Da!” she answers.

This time he points to Dean. “And who’s that?”

“Dee!” she answers, and Castiel’s eyes meet Dean’s in apology for a split second before Claire says, “Da Dee!”

 _Oh my god_. Has Claire really started calling Dean Daddy without either of them ever asking her to?

“Is Dee Daddy?” Castiel asks again, needing to be really, _really_ sure.

 _Yes_ , she signs. “Daddy!”

“Holy shit,” Dean replies in awe.

Castiel reacts without thinking and wraps Dean and Claire in a bone crunching hug, burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck while happy tears spring to his eyes _again_. He knew Claire loved Dean, but to know that Claire loves him like a parent is almost too much to bear. And if it’s okay with her, how can it not be okay with him? He can finally give this to Dean, and on the same day he asked him to marry him to boot. It’s _perfect_.

He lifts his head to look up at Dean, whose eyes are also swimming with tears. Claire’s already wiggling to get down, so Dean places her on the ground and she goes running over to Bentley, obviously having no idea about the huge, life-changing moment she’s just given the two of them.

Castiel slides his hands around Dean’s hips and smiles up at him softly. “Congratulations, Dean. You’re a Daddy,” he tells him.

Dean lets out a choked off sob as he abruptly bursts into tears and gathers Castiel into his arms. He holds him tight, rubbing his back to soothe him and just lets him cry it out, twice as happy as he was only a second ago when he feels the cool metal of Dean’s ring on the back of his neck.

“Jesus,” Dean breathes heavily, his head still hooked over Castiel’s shoulder. “I’m so happy it feels like I’m gonna puke or pass out or something.”

“Dean,” Castiel sighs happily, turning his head so he can kiss his cheek. Dean turns towards him too and their lips meet in a brief kiss. “I love you so much.”

“Well, I think my job is done here,” Balthazar says suddenly. Castiel looks away from Dean to see him lowering his camera. “You family certainly made it easy on me.”

“You - you were taking pictures the whole time?” Dean asks.

“I thought you might like to see the look on each other’s faces. Have to say, I couldn’t have planned that better if I tried.”

“Thank you,” Castiel tells him emphatically. “Thank you for capturing two of the three best moments of my life.”

“I do weddings too, you know,” Balthazar says with a wink.

“You’re hired,” Dean says immediately, and then he and Dean both laugh when Balthazar’s fist pumps triumphantly in the air. Dean turns to Castiel again and says, “Real glad you dragged me to family pictures, hon, even if I was being a dick about it all week. All of this was freaking perfect. If I knew I’d get everything I ever wanted today I woulda been a hell of a lot nicer about it.”

“Yes, but then I wouldn’t be able to hold how annoying you were on the day we got engaged over your head for the rest of our lives,” Castiel teases him.

Dean huffs out a laugh. “I don’t even care, man. I get you and Claire forever. I fucking win.”

“We all do,” Castiel answers, feeling the truth of that resonate deep within him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally cannot thank Mariah enough for the breathtaking art in this chapter. I sent her the scene and she drew it _exactly_ the way I pictured it. Please go follow her on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/WendyStonegood), [ Tumblr,](https://beesandbroomsticks.tumblr.com) or [AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FindingFrancis/profile).


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta was a busy bee this weekend and hasn't got to to this yet. Please let me know if you see any typos!
> 
> Also... warning for bodily fluids that come with the stomach flu...

Castiel wakes up on a Saturday morning in the middle of December hours before he should. The first thing he notices is the weight of Dean’s arm thrown over his stomach and his morning erection hard against his backside, and the very next thing is that he is _extremely_ warm and covered in a thin sheet of sweat. He rolls over onto his back, which (as per usual) causes Dean to snuggle in closer. But while it usually warms his heart at how Dean seeks him out even in his sleep, right now he’s boiling hot and can’t stand the heat of Dean’s body on him. He gives him a not so gentle push and rolls back onto his side away from him, and this time, his stomach rolls uncomfortably too.

He lies there for a minute, trying to swallow down his nausea, telling himself that this isn’t happening. He can’t possibly be getting sick today. No. He has a thousand things to do before Christmas, a lot of which he was hoping to tackle today. There’s a package waiting for him at the post office. He has to pick up Mary’s gift from downtown. He absolutely cannot -

Oh god.

Heat flashes on his skin, saliva pools in his mouth, and his stomach rolls again, and this time he knows there’s no fighting it. There isn’t even time to try. He throws the blankets off of him and stumbles out of bed, hurrying across the hall to fall to his knees in front of the toilet where he empties the contents of his stomach.

He’s still vomiting when he hears Dean call his name quietly. It’s not as if he can answer him at the moment, but he’s glad Dean has enough common sense not to come in when the bathroom door is closed. He and Dean are close, yes, but the last thing he wants is an audience when he’s bent over the toilet throwing up. Eventually it stops, and he’s able to get up to wash the sweat off of his face and rinse his mouth out. He feels weak and exhausted, and he groans quietly when he thinks about all the things he still has to do today when he feels like this.

He opens the bathroom door to Dean pacing the hallway. He lifts his finger to his mouth in a silent _shh_ so that Dean doesn’t wake Claire (the last thing he needs is for her to wake up earlier than usual when he isn’t feeling well) and walks into the kitchen to grab a large mixing bowl. He’s sure he’s going to be sick again at some point, and if he can avoid it, he would prefer _not_ to have his head in the toilet bowl this time.

Dean follows behind him, and the second he’s out of the hall he asks, “What’s the matter? You sick?”

“It would seem so, yes,” he answers, bending over and groaning again at the way it jostles his stomach.

“What the hell are you doing then? Get back in bed, man.”

“I need a bowl,” Castiel explains.

“What am I, useless? I can get you a damn bowl. Go back to bed.”

“I can get my own bowl,” he argues, finally seeing it and grabbing it out of the cupboard. He straightens up slowly, supporting himself on the counter to steady himself before he can walk back into the bedroom. He feels absolutely terrible.

“You look like shit,” Dean comments. Castiel pins him with a glare that Dean doesn’t back down from. “You’re white as a damn sheet. C’mon, hon, let’s get you back in bed.”

“You can’t tell me I look like shit and then call me hon in the same breath,” Castiel grumbles, but he follows his advice and walks back to the bedroom.

“It’s five o’clock in the damn morning. I can say whatever the hell I want.”

“Nobody asked you to be awake,” he reminds him.

“You jumped outta bed like the house was on fire. What was I supposed to do, pretend I didn’t notice?”

“Leave me alone,” Castiel gripes.

“Wow. So you’re a ray of sunshine when you’re sick. Good to know,” Dean says.

“I don’t feel well -” he begins.

“Yeah. I got that, believe it or not.”

“- and I have to be up again in less than three hours,” he explains.

“What?” Dean asks. “No. You’re not waking up with Claire when you’re sick.”

“It’s my turn,” he responds, slowly lowering himself back down onto their bed and covering himself up. He’s freezing now that the sweat has cooled on his skin.

“So what? Pretty sure you get a pass when you’re praying to the porcelain throne.”

“It’s fine. She’ll be fine in front of the TV until you get ready for swimming lessons,” Castiel says, turning onto his side away from Dean and bundling himself up in the blankets.

“No,” Dean insists, cozying up to his back. “Shit, Cas, your skin’s on fire.”

He shivers at the sensation of Dean’s warm body against his. “Stay. I’m so cold.”

“I should get you something for your fever,” Dean says, but he snuggles in closer and presses his body along his as completely as he can.

“Thank you, Dean,” he sighs. He can feel Dean press a kiss to the back of his neck and though he can’t quite muster up a smile when he feels so miserable, he feels that fuzzy feeling inside he only ever gets from Dean.

He’s so tired that he drops back into sleep almost instantly. The last thing he registers is Dean whispering, “Just sleep, okay? I’ll take care of everything today.”

He wakes up a second time to Claire’s voice calling, “Daaaa! Daaadddyyyy!”

He rolls over to go get her out of her crib when another wave of nausea overcomes him. He’s thankful for the bowl because he never would have made it to the bathroom in time, and he goes from wanting to die for throwing up in front of Dean to wanting to kill Dean instead when he says, “Well that’s disgusting,” as he walks past him to go get Claire.

He’s still cursing him internally when Dean comes back and reaches for the bowl.

“No,” he insists weakly. Dean _does not_ need to see his vomit up close and personal.

“Stop being so damn stubborn and let me help you,” Dean says, taking the bowl from his hand and walking away with a clear look of disgust on his face.

He lies back down in bed and tries to wait for the overwhelming warmth to pass. He can hear the toilet flush, water in the bathtub running, water from the sink, and then Dean comes back with a cleaned out bowl, a glass of water, and some toilet paper. He hands him the toilet paper (which he uses to wipe his mouth) and places the water on the nightstand and the bowl on the ground beside the bed.

Castiel tosses the toilet paper in the trash can and looks up at Dean. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“In sickness and health, right?” Dean answers with a shrug.

“We haven’t technically made that promise yet.”

“We promised to promise,” he replies. He reaches out and brushes his sweaty hair off of his forehead. “Same thing. Let me know if you need anything else. I’ll come check on you before me and the munchkin take off for swimming lessons, k?”

“Thank you.”

It feels incredibly strange for Dean to leave the room without stopping to kiss him first, but he can’t blame him. Not only is he quite certain he smells like vomit, he also doesn’t want Dean to get sick. Still feels odd, though.

Once again, he falls back asleep quickly. When he wakes up again he doesn’t feel the need to vomit immediately, so he sits himself up slowly and leans back against the headboard. He reaches for his phone and is surprised to see it’s after ten. He has a message from Dean.

 

 **DEAN:** Checked on you but you were out like a light. Left you some Tylenol and Advil in case you have a fever and some soda crackers in case you felt like trying to eat something.

He looks back over at the nightstand and sees two bottles of pills and a sleeve of crackers.

 **DEAN:** Me and Claire are going to stop to pick you up a few more things on the way to swimming. Lmk if you think of anything else you need. I’ll be home to put Clarie down for her nap. Love you.

 

He reaches for the glass of water and smiles when he hears ice clinking in it that wasn’t there before. Dean really thought of everything. He hasn’t been sick like this in years, but even when he was at home and sick, his parents never treated him so well. He’s completely unused to being taken care of like this, but he finds he doesn’t really mind all that much. It’s entirely within Dean’s nature to look after him.

He only drinks a quarter of the glass of water (not wanting to set his stomach off again) and then spends some time scrolling through his social media pages. He sees Dean has posted a series of photos of him and Claire at the grocery store. Apparently he grabbed him some dramamine, then required her assistance to pick out freeze pops and Gatorade. He captioned the post completed with a selfie of the two of them with, _Me and Claire are working on winning some major brownie points for taking care of Cas when he’s sick. Hope he feels better soon!_

He dressed Claire in a Star Wars shirt he brought home for her a while ago and even put her hair up and added a bow. With the black star printed leggings she’s wearing and her dinosaur shoes, she makes quite a sight. But she’s smiling and with her daddy, and he saves the photo of the two of them together almost immediately.

It was posted less than a half hour ago and already there are several comments underneath the photos.

“Soup delivery coming his way this afternoon xoxoxo Feel better, Castiel,” from Mary.

Dean replied with, “Make sure there’s enough for three!”

“Aw, what’s the matter with him?” from Sam.

Dean replied with a vomiting emoji, which Sam replied to with a thumbs down.

Steph commented with, “Oh no! I’ll miss him at swimming lessons today! Tell him to feel better.”

He laughs when he sees Dean didn’t reply or react to that one at all.

“If you need a hand with Claire or anything else let us know! Feel better, Castiel!” from Jess.

“I got her, but thanks. I’ll keep you posted,” is Dean’s response to that.

“Make sure to wait until he’s feeling better to cash in on those brownie points :P That could get all kinds of messy hehehe,” from Charlie, which Dean reacted to with a laugh and replied to with a winking emoji. Oh, Dean.

Castiel types out his own comment. “How did I get so lucky? <3 I love you both.”

He continues to scroll through his feed but keeps getting notifications popping up of everybody who had already commented on the post replying with the vomiting emoji. His jaw drops in indignation when he sees Mary even joins in. How rude!

He knows Dean’s out of his swimming lesson with Claire when he gets a heart reaction on his comment, and a text message comes through almost directly after.

 

 **DEAN:** How are you feeling?

 **CASTIEL:** Haven’t been sick again since you left, but still not feeling great.

 **DEAN:** Not puking is better than puking though. omw home, see you soon  <3

 

He decides to take a chance and gets out of bed slowly, making his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth. His stomach lurches unpleasantly, but he returns to bed and manages to fight back the urge to be sick this time.

He’s laid back against the headboard with his eyes closed when he hears Dean come home and put Claire in her room. He doesn’t have the energy to lift his head, but he does open his eyes when he hears Dean come into their bedroom.

“Hey hon,” Dean says quietly. “How’re you doing?”

“Alright,” he lies.

Dean comes closer and cups his face gently, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “You don’t look so bad anymore.”

“Flatterer,” he deadpans.

Dean’s smile grows and suddenly all he wants is to be close to the man he loves. He grabs him by the elbow and tugs him down until he sits on the side of the bed. “How was swimming?”

“The usual. Claire didn’t even make it outta the building this time before she fell asleep,” he says, a fond smile tugging at his lips. “Put your Gatorade in the fridge and I bought some more freeze pops, but there’s already a couple frozen in the freezer. Wanna try one?”

Castiel’s stomach rolls at the thought. “No, not yet.”

Dean frowns and looks over his shoulder at the glass of water. “Alright, well you gotta drink more than you have been if you aren’t going to eat anything or you’ll get dehydrated.”

“I’m fine, Dean,” he insists.

“No deal,” Dean replies, a look of stubbornness Castiel is incredibly familiar with settling onto his face. “More water, some crackers, I can put ice in Gatorade if you want, or a freeze pop. Your choice, but no ain’t an option.”

He doesn’t have the strength to argue with him right now. “More water.”

Dean reaches for it and passes the glass to him, watching closely as he sips at it. Dean doesn’t reach to take it back, which lets him know he hasn’t drank enough to satisfy him yet, so he takes another sip.

“So I’m thinkin’ when Claire wakes up we’ll have some lunch and then me and her can go tackle that to-do list you had for today,” Dean says suddenly.

“To-do list?” Castiel echoes.

Dean raises his eyebrows questioningly and then lifts his hand to press it to Castiel’s forehead. “Yeah, all that shit you’ve been grumbling about having to do this weekend?”

“I wasn’t aware you were listening.”

Dean gives him an unimpressed look. “‘Course I was listening.”

“You didn’t say anything,” Castiel explains.

“Felt more like you wanted to bitch about it than you wanted input.” Castiel huffs in annoyance, although he knows Dean’s assessment of his feelings is mostly right. Dean digs his phone out of his pocket and opens what Castiel _knows_ is a list. Dean is the king of lists these days. “Gotta go pick up that necklace and earring set downtown you ordered for ma, go to Creative Learning to get the train set for Bentley, a gift certificate for another paint night for Jess, and whatever you ordered for Charlie’s at the post office for pickup, right? Am I missing anything?” Castiel sits dumbfounded as Dean rattles off his list. “Oh,” he says, snapping his fingers. “Wrapping paper, right? You didn’t get more since we ran out wrapping last week, did you?”

“I hadn’t gotten around to it yet, no,” he responds. He’s so shocked that Dean has remembered everything and that he’s offering to go pick it all up that he can hardly continue the conversation.

“I already got Sammy’s gift, Benny’s and Jo’s. So I think we’re done for buying after this, right?”

“That - that was the plan,” Castiel stutters. “Finish all the running around this weekend so I didn’t have to try to do it next weekend when it’s the last weekend before Christmas. But Dean, you don’t have to do all of that when you have Claire. She’ll be fussy being out and about that much in one afternoon. Plus, getting her in and out of her car seat so many times…”

Dean shrugs. “She’s usually pretty good. If she’s in a mood or whatever I can always bring her back and go back out again after she’s down for her afternoon nap.”

“Why don’t you just do that?” Castiel asks.

“I don’t mind taking her out, and I like spending her nap times with just you,” Dean responds simply. “No big deal, okay?” He looks pointedly down at the glass still in Castiel’s hand, and he rolls his eyes but drinks some more anyway. He reaches in front of Dean to put it back down and then leans forwards to slump against Dean’s chest. Dean’s arms come around him and he closes his eyes when Dean’s hands drift up and down his back.

“Hate seein’ you like this,” Dean says quietly.

His heart clenches in his chest. “It’s just the stomach flu, sweetheart.”

“Still,” Dean protests. “You’re pretty much invincible in my eyes, you know. Not supposed to get sick.”

“It’ll never happen again,” he lies, but then he groans when Dean’s shoulders raise and fall with laughter, jostling him and his sensitive stomach.

He moves away and scooches down until he’s lying flat again. “Have a morning nap with me,” he asks, purposely gazing up at him through his eyelashes and looking as sad as he can possibly fake.

“Are you trying to be cute right now?”

“I was going for sad and pathetic,” he admits.

“You landed on adorable as hell,” Dean says with a sigh. He gets up and walks around to his side of the bed, drops his jeans and pulls off his flannel, and climbs in bed beside him.

“I want to lie on your chest but I can’t put pressure on my stomach,” he complains.

“Stop - you know the Novak whine is my Kryptonite,” Dean says seriously. “Hang on.” He shuffles upwards and onto his side, then says, “There. Roll over here now.”

Castiel rolls over onto his side and finds that Dean has moved up enough so that his chest is even with his face. He happily snuggles in closer, lifting his head so Dean’s arm can slide underneath, and then rests his head exactly where he wanted it. Dean smells like chlorine, and it’s such a familiar scent on his skin after so many swimming lessons and days spent working in the aquatic center, that he feels entirely safe and loved, and drifts off to sleep peacefully.

Unfortunately it doesn’t last long, and he wakes all at once. He vaguely registers the recognizable hardness of Dean’s erection pressed against him before he realizes he’s covered in sweat again, and he barely has time to roll over and grab the bowl before he’s sick. Thankfully, this time it’s mostly water that comes up, but it doesn’t help the painful contracting of his stomach in the least. He can feel Dean’s hand rubbing gently on the small of his back and tries to ignore that he’s listening to him vomit _again_.

He’s finally able to catch his breath, wipes his mouth with the toilet paper still on his night stand, and rinses his mouth with the water and spits it back into the bowl. His sweat is cooling on his skin, making him feel freezing cold, and he groans weakly as he tries to get to his feet.

“I got it, hon, here,” Dean says, taking the bowl again and leaving their bedroom. Dean comes back a few minutes later with his now clean bowl and a bottle of Gatorade. His stomach protests the thought of it, but Dean says, “Figured since you were just sick maybe this would stay in for a while before it comes out again.”

He doesn’t want to drink it at all, but because Dean brought it to him, he takes a sip before he puts it back down.

He curls up into a ball on his side and whines weakly. “I thought I was done.”

“I was hoping, too,” Dean tells him. “But it’s only been a couple of hours. And it could’ve been worse, right? Could’ve started late at night so you couldn’t get any sleep.”

“ _You_ must be tired,” he realizes suddenly. “You were up with me early this morning and you didn’t get to sleep all day like I have so far.”

“I’m okay,” Dean says. “That little power nap just did wonders for me.”

“I’m sorry I’m sick.”

Dean huffs out a breath of air. “That’s just stupid. It ain’t your fault you’re sick, okay?” Castiel nods reluctantly. “Want me to put the TV on for you?”

“I suppose if I continue to sleep all day I won’t sleep much tonight.” And the last thing he wants is to keep Dean awake again. “That would be welcome. Thank you, Dean.”

Dean stays with him in bed holding his hand and prompting him to drink for one episode of _The Big Bang Theory_ before he leans over to kiss him on the temple. “I’m gonna go get lunch ready for me and Claire so I don’t have to do it when she’s running around, okay?”

“I can help,” Castiel offers.

“Nope. Your job is to stay right here for today.”

“This isn’t how I imagined you would keep me in bed for a full day when we had the chance,” Castiel complains.

Dean huffs out a bit of a laugh. “Not usually how we spend nap time on the weekends either,” he grins.

Something akin to regret twinges through him at the reminder. They’ve both been so tired during the last few weeks from work, Claire, and Christmas preparations that they haven’t had as much energy for sex as they’re used to. They’ve made up for it on the weekends the last few weeks, but that clearly isn’t going to happen today. He thinks back quickly in his mind and comes to the conclusion that they haven’t been intimate together since Tuesday - which may actually be the longest they’ve ever gone since moving in together. No wonder Dean was hard when he woke up.

“I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “You know I would - that I’d want to if I wasn’t sick. I -”

“Hey,” Dean says, cutting him off softly. “I know, hon. Don’t apologize. We’re good. Got forever, right?” he reassures him. “I’m gonna go make lunch. Keep working on that Gatorade, okay?”

Castiel nods weakly as Dean leaves their bedroom again, but now his mind is veering off into a direction he doesn’t want it to go in.

Dean is not Arthur, and just because they haven’t had sex in five days it doesn’t mean that he’s going to go find somebody else to have sex with instead. He knows that. Dean would never do that to him. Not that he thought Arthur was going to cheat on him when they were together either - he never would have married him if he thought him capable of that - but still. No. Dean is ten times the man Arthur is and he would never treat him that way. Unfortunately, he can’t seem to stop the way his mind keeps circling back to _what if he did_ or the pit he now has in his stomach that has nothing to do with the stomach flu.

He keeps trying to talk himself out of his funk as Dean makes lunch. He hears Claire wake up calling for them both, and he hears her and Dean in the kitchen, and soon after, Dean comes back into their bedroom with Claire on his hip.

“There’s Da, see buddy?” Dean tells her. “Da’s sick.”

“Da?” Claire asks, reaching for him with a sad look on her face.

“Da doesn’t want to hold you in case I get Claire sick. Yucky germs,” he explains. His heart breaks when he sees how sad she looks. “I love you, though, Claire Bear.”

“Da car?” Claire asks him tentatively.

“Nah, Da’s gonna stay here and get some rest, and Claire and Daddy are gonna go in Baby, okay?” Dean answers for him.

“No! Da car,” Claire whines, reaching for him again.

“Soon we’ll all go together,” Castiel promises. “As soon as I feel better.”

“We’re gonna go get presents for our family, okay, blondie? For Grandma, Aunt Jess...”

Claire’s frown fades as she looks up at Dean questioningly. “Mam?”

“Nah, Daddy already got Uncle Sam’s present. We have to get something for Bentley at the toy store, though. Maybe if you’re a really good girl we can get Claire a new train.”

“Choo choo?” _Please_.

“I dunno. Are you gonna be really, _really_ good?” Claire nods her head solemnly. “Then I guess we’ll see. Say bye to Da, okay?”

“Bye Da,” Claire says, waving enthusiastically now that she has the promise of a new train.

“Bye, Claire. Be good for Daddy.”

“Love you,” Dean tells him walking towards the door. “We’ll be back soon.”

He tries to remind himself that he’s sick and contagious and that’s why Dean didn’t kiss him goodbye, but he also remembers how he got a kiss on the head when he came home and wonders why Dean didn’t do anything like that this time.

Not surprisingly, the afternoon drags by. He throws up twice more while Dean and Claire are gone, and his spirits continue to sink further and further as he retreats into his own head and his most poisonous thoughts. By the time Claire and Dean return home, he’s in a horrific mood and feeling all kinds of sorry for himself. He waits for Dean to put Claire down for her afternoon nap and then brings his bowl along and walks into the bathroom to run himself a bath. Sinking into the warm water is heavenly, and scrubbing away the stale sweat that’s been gathering on his body makes him feel more human than he has all day.

It’s probably been about twenty minutes or so when Dean knocks softly on the door and comes into the bathroom with a book in his hand. He notices that Dean’s changed into sweatpants, which means he’s in for the day.

“Hey hon,” Dean says softly. “Didn’t get a chance to check on you before you disappeared in here. How’re you doing?”

“I’m fine, Dean,” he answers stiffly.

Awareness flashes across Dean’s features and Castiel curses internally, wishing he didn’t know him as well as he does. “You don’t sound fine,” Dean replies, walking across the small room, closing the lid of the toilet and lowering himself down onto it.

“I’m sick.”

“Mmhmm,” Dean answers. Castiel can tell just by the way he hums it that he doesn’t believe his explanation, but he just sits there and keeps watching him. Instead of worrying about Dean watching him, he closes his eyes and tries to enjoy soaking in the warmth the way he was before Dean came in. He feels more than he hears it when Dean kneels down beside the tub a few minutes later. “Let me get your back for you before you fall asleep on me again,” Dean says gently, dipping his hand into the water and grabbing Castiel’s discarded washcloth.

He knows Dean won’t just let it go if he declines, so he sits up and allows him to wash his back. Dean’s big hands sweep across his back tenderly, up over his shoulders and down his arms, and he feels his lips kiss a line across the back of his neck, erasing every one of the doubts Dean didn’t even know he was having. Dean loves him _so much_ and he’s an absolute idiot for forgetting that even for a second, sick or not.

He doesn’t stop him when he grabs the cup they use for Claire’s baths and fills it. Dean’s hands guide his head back, and Castiel shudders when the warm water cascades down the back of his head. Another few cupfuls later, his entire head is wet and he moans with pleasure as Dean massages shampoo into his hair expertly before rinsing it out and easing him back so he can lie down the way he was when Dean came in.

Dean’s thumbs wipe away the few drops of water that have dripped down his forehead, and his voice sounds reverent when he says, “Even when you’re sick, you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. I’m freakin’ crazy about you, Cas.”

He’s thankful his eyes are already closed so Dean can’t see the way they fill with tears, but he isn’t entirely able to stop the way his lip quivers.

Of course, Dean doesn’t miss it. “Hey, you okay, hon?”

Castiel nods weakly and lies, “Just tired and sick. Feeling weepy.”

Dean makes a noise in his throat that lets him know he isn’t really buying it, but he isn’t going to push. “You know, I was thinkin’. When we buy a house someday it’s gonna have to have a tub big enough for both of us. So you could still be in there but I could have my arms around you and my lips on your skin.”

“Even you can’t kiss away the flu,” he responds, taking a chance and opening his eyes. He sees the soft expression on Dean’s face, but he also notices the substantial bulge between his legs not at all hidden from his sweatpants. The water suddenly feels ice cold with the unwelcome reminder of the doubts he had been drowning only a few minutes earlier. “Much to your discomfort, apparently,” he adds.

A blush comes to Dean’s cheeks as he pulls his legs closer together. “Sorry,” he says with a crooked smile. “My dick’s pretty much conditioned to come to life when I see you naked now. It doesn’t know you’re sick.”

He doesn’t say anything for several minutes, but Dean waits him out. Finally, he responds with what he’s thinking. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to keep you satisfied lately.”

Dean huffs out a bit of a laugh, and then sobers up quickly when he sees that he isn’t laughing along with him. “That was a joke, right?”

Castiel folds his arms over his chest, suddenly feeling too exposed to have this conversation. He leans forwards to pull the plug but struggles to get to his feet. Apparently being sick several times and not eating anything is taking its toll. He has to ask, “Can you help me up, please?”

Dean’s arm slides around his back and under his arm, and he takes his weight while Castiel gets to his feet. Dean grabs a towel and wraps him in it, then holds him steady as he steps out of the bathtub. He sits on the bed for a second once they get to the bedroom and Dean takes the initiative to get him some pajama pants and a fresh t-shirt. Dean pulls the shirt over his head for him and uses the towel to gently rub at his dripping hair. Then he crouches and holds his pants open for him so all Castiel has to do is put his feet inside and stand briefly to get them over his hips. He lies back on the bed and faces away from Dean, hoping what he already said can be the end of their conversation.

Of course, Dean snuggles up right behind him and wraps his arms around him, pressing a soft kiss right behind his ear. “You don’t really think that, do you?” he asks quietly. Castiel still doesn’t answer him. “C’mon, Cas. Talk to me,” he urges him.

“You’ve been noticeably aroused three times already today. It’s not as if you can pretend it isn’t true.”

“Okay,” Dean says cautiously. “Since when is me bein’ so into you a bad thing? You never complained before.”

“Well I’m obviously doing a t-terrible job of keeping you satisfied now.” Saying the words out loud sends all of the self doubt he thought he had moved past crashing right back into him, and he knows Dean would have noticed the way his voice just cracked.

“That is such a load of bull. Do you know how many people would kill to have as much sex as we do?”

Castiel snorts derisively. “Yes, I’m sure people dream of sex once a week. I _know_ what happens when both partners aren’t entirely satisfied, Dean. You can’t try to tell me -” 

“Hang on a damn second,” Dean says, his voice suddenly hard. “What the hell’s that supposed to mean? Don’t even tell me that you’re comparing me to that asshole right now.”

He flinches from the tone of his voice and tries to make his own voice come out sounding less accusatory. “I’m just saying that I have a history of not being enough, and that history has shown me -”

“Listen to me,” Dean says, tugging him until he’s on his back and Dean is looking down into his eyes. “You will always be enough for me exactly the way you are - in bed or out of it. We could literally _never_ have sex again. You could decide not touch me again from right now until forever and I would still _never_ touch anybody else. Ever.”

His resistance softens slightly but that’s such a gross exaggeration that he can’t entirely believe it. “There’s no way that’s true.”

“I’m tellin’ you it _is_ true. You are damn near everything to me, Cas. You are so much a part of who I am and who I wanna be that there’s no freaking way I could ever want to touch anybody else. It’s me and you forever now. I thought that’s what I said yes to,” he says, wiggling his ring finger in his face. “I didn’t say, ‘ _Yeah I wanna marry you BUT ONLY if you blow me three times a week_.’ It’s just yes. No qualifiers. Unconditional, remember?”

“But Dean -”

“Nope. No buts,” he interrupts. “And listen, I get why you go there in your head. As much as it pisses me off that you let shit _he_ did to you make you think less of me, I understand why you do. We’ve been together - what? Nine months? - and this is our first so called lull in the sack according to you. So fine,” he says with a shrug, leaning in to kiss him on the forehead. “I’ll let you have your doubts, and I’ll use the chance to show you that you can trust me. And the next time one of us gets sick and we’re outta commission for a few days, I’ll show you again. And when we add another little Winchester to the family some day and we’re both too tired to see straight for months at a time, I’ll show you again then. And I’ll keep showing you over and over until the doubts are completely gone and they don’t even cross your mind anymore - and then I’ll be a dick and remind you of this conversation right before I tell you _I told you so_.”

He can’t help the small smile that curves his lips. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just - I suppose I thought I was doing better with my self esteem issues, but it was so easy to convince myself I was letting you down that I guess I’m not.”

“You’re not letting me down. If anything, my only complaint right now is that I sorta hate that you’re makin’ it sound like you only do the sex stuff to keep me happy or whatever,” Dean tells him.

“That’s not true at all. If it’s sounding like that, then I apologize. I still have a hard time keeping my hands off of you, believe me. It’s just life that keeps getting in the way.”

“I know. And that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’m not unhappy or unsatisfied because I’ve been as busy and tired as you have been. I mean, I was hoping we’d get some alone time this weekend, but I ain’t mad that we can’t because you’re sick.”

Castiel nods his understanding. “I do apologize for being foolish. I suppose I still have doubts about myself that still come out when I’m not at my best.”

“Like when you’re sick and tired and feeling like crap?”

“Apparently that’s all it takes. I’m sorry, Dean.”

“Nah, you don’t need to be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry for perving on you when you were in the tub,” Dean says.

“I’m sure if our situations were reversed I would have reacted to you naked in the bathtub the same way,” he admits.

Dean leans down and kisses his forehead again, lingering for several seconds. “Honestly, the hardest part of today has been not kissin’ you. Didn’t realize how much I did it ‘til I couldn’t. I feel like I miss you even though you’re right here ‘cause I can’t.”

“For me, too,” he responds. “Every time you leave the room without kissing me I have to remind myself not to take it personally.”

“I keep feeling like I’m forgetting something,” Dean says with a grin.

“I suppose we’ll have a lot of making up for lost time to do when I’m feeling better.”

“Challenge accepted,” Dean says with a smile. “You wanna snuggle in until Claire wakes up?”

“Yes please,” he answers, scooching up until he’s in the same position as last time.

“Think you can wake up without yacking this time?”

“I sincerely hope so,” Castiel replies.

“Positive side to the whole barfing thing is the sound of you puking your guts out has killed my boner pretty much instantly every time,” Dean says, and he can hear the smile in his voice.

“And here I was thinking I wasn’t helping,” he teases, which makes Dean laugh.

“Man. I love you so much, you sicko.”

“Mmm. I love you more.”

He doesn’t fall asleep this time, though he notices that Dean does. He just lies in his arms, happy to let Dean catch up on whatever rest he already missed from this morning. Dean jerks awake the second Claire calls, “Daddyyyy!” from her crib a little while later. Castiel gets up too, though much more slowly than Dean. He walks out to the living room and sits in the recliner. He hasn’t been sick since his bath, so when Claire comes over, he gives her a hug and lets her kiss his cheek, but he asks her to sit with Dean instead of him so he isn’t breathing all over her. He lasts an hour, which is long enough for Dean to prep most of dinner for him and Claire - mini pizzas made on English muffins, apparently - before the smell of the pizza cooking turns his stomach and he retires back to their bedroom.

He feels better almost immediately, and for the first time all day, the soda crackers sitting on his nightstand seem at least somewhat appealing. He reaches for them and nibbles on one, then continues to eat it when it doesn’t make him feel worse. He gets a total of six crackers into him over the next hour, and the plus side is they made him thirsty, so he finally finishes his bottle of Gatorade. Dean will be pleased, no doubt. He watches more television until Dean brings Claire in to say goodnight. Castiel lets her lie her head on his shoulder for a few minutes, knowing that she’ll be feeling out of sorts without much contact from him today.

He’s completely surprised when she falls asleep on his shoulder much faster than usual and with no story.

“Guess she missed you,” Dean says quietly. “Can you get her in her crib or do you want me to take her?”

“I can do it,” he says. He gets to his feet carefully and walks into her room, grimacing slightly when he has to lean over her crib to lie her down. He covers her with her blanket and puts her bunny next to her so she can find it when she wakes up. “Da loves you, Claire Bear. Sweet dreams.” _Daddy_ still wants to roll off of his tongue, but he and Dean are both trying to get used to using that only for him. Make it easier for all of them, and it’s working more and more every day.

Since he’s up again, he uses the bathroom and brushes his teeth before he goes back to their room. On the way back, he can hear Dean in the living room so he walks to the end of the hall to see what he’s doing. He can hear the dishwasher running and he sees him picking up toys that were left out from the day. Even though he’s aware that the urge to cry is likely due to just not feeling well, seeing Dean taking care of their apartment and the mess their daughter made is almost too much for him. He’s seen Dean help him tidy up and oftentimes do more than his share of the housework (because he is a self-proclaimed neat freak) but seeing him completely take over and do everything without even needing to be asked is more than he ever expected from a partner.

He may still be feeling weaker than normal, but he crosses the room towards him anyway, and when Dean stops what he’s doing to check on him, he approaches him and winds his arms around his waist. Dean meets his gaze questioningly.

“Thank you,” he sighs. “Thank you for taking care of Claire today. For cooking, cleaning, running errands, taking her to swimming lessons. For doing everything the two of us usually do together all on your own.”

Dean breaks eye contact to huff his disagreement and brush off the compliment, but he isn’t having any of that.

“Dean, please,” he says quietly. “I have never been with anybody who has made me feel like an equal partner. I know I’m sick, and I haven’t been the most cooperative or emotionally stable boyfriend today -”

“Fiance,” Dean corrects, the way he always does.

“Fiance,” Castiel agrees, smiling. “I haven’t been the most emotionally stable fiance today, but I love and appreciate you so much, and the relationship we have is exactly the kind that I’ve dreamed of having all of my life. Thank you for giving that to me, and proving to me once again that I’m the luckiest man alive to have a ring on your finger.”

“Well, me and that ring ain’t going anywhere ever, so I guess I’m glad you think you’re luckier than you are,” Dean teases.

“Deeeean,” he groans.

“Okay, okay, don’t start whining on me again. I’ll graciously accept the Best Fiance Award for today if it’ll make you feel better.”

“It will.”

Dean rolls his eyes but his lips are twitching, so he knows he’s only joking. “Now gimme some sugar,” Dean says, licking his lips.

“I don’t want to get you sick.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take,” Dean says with mock seriousness, like he’s about to run into a battle or something. Then, more sincerely, “C’mon. Just a little peck. I miss kissin’ you.” Since he feels the same way, he can’t resist. He leans in to press their lips together chastely a few times, and then nuzzles into his neck sighing happily when Dean’s arms come around him. He closes his eyes and enjoys the closeness until Dean says, “Go on and get back in bed, and I’ll be in soon, okay?”

“I love you.”

“I know,” Dean says with a wink.

It’s only a few minutes before Dean joins him in his bedroom with dramamine in hand. “This should help you sleep. Hopefully it’ll knock you out and keep you from bein’ sick for the rest of the night, and you wake up feeling more like yourself.”

Castiel smiles as he takes it with a sip of water. “Thank you.”

His stomach isn’t as sensitive now, so when Dean lies on his back, he lies mostly on his front with his head pillowed on the nook of Dean’s chest and shoulder. Usually it’s Dean who likes to be in his arms, but he feels like he needs this tonight.

“You wanna watch something?”

“No,” he replies. “Not tonight. But feel free to watch whatever you want. I’ll definitely be able to sleep just like this.”

“K,” Dean responds. He reaches for the remote and turns the television on and then kisses him on the forehead. “Night, Cas. Love you.”

His heart flips in his chest. “I love you, too. Goodnight Dean.”

He falls asleep lulled by the steady rise and fall of his fiance’s chest, and when Dean turns off the television a few hours later, he smiles when Dean turns him over and makes himself the big spoon. Dean’s warm hand slides up and down his arm a few times, and once he wiggles down, he places a kiss between Castiel’s shoulder blades before he rests his head there. Castiel’s asleep again before he hears Dean say goodnight a second time.

He wakes with a start, but thankfully, this time it isn’t because he feels the need to be sick. Instead, it’s Claire _screaming_ in her crib. 

“I got her,” Dean says, hurrying out bed and across the hall. He’s already getting up anyway - Claire rarely wakes up screaming like this - when he hears a horrified, “Oh my god. Holy fuck. Okay. Okay. It’s okay. Shh, it’s okay Claire. Daddy’s got you. Oh shit.”

He hurries his pace, but the second he crosses the threshold of Claire’s bedroom he’s forced to stop when the unmistakable smell of vomit hits his nostrils and his own stomach lurches. He covers his nose with his hand and says, “Dean -”

“It’s - it’s uh, fine, Cas,” Dean answers, but his tone of voice lets him know that it isn’t fine at all.

Not being able to stay in the room to help without being sick himself, he leaves Dean holding Claire at arms length and goes back to their bedroom to get Claire’s spare crib sheet and blanket from their closet. He also grabs a pack of the disposable crib liners, and all the while he can hear Dean’s voice talking to Claire.

“Blondie, I know, you don’t feel good. Your belly probably hurts pretty bad, and puking your guts out probably scared the crap outta you. I know, sweetie. It’s okay, though. We’ll get these jammies off and get you some new ones, and you’ll feel all better, okay?”

When he gets back to Claire’s room he can see her soiled pajamas and a stack of used baby wipes in a pile on the center of her crib.

She’s still whining, but Dean has her almost entirely in a new set of pajamas, and best of all, she’s clean.

He plugs his nose and places the new stuff down on her dresser. “I’ll take her into our room. Wrap everything up in her crib sheet and throw it in a garbage bag for now. We’ll deal with it in the morning. Then put the new sheets down and one of these sticky pads on top so we don’t have to change the sheets every time she throws up.”

Dean closes his eyes and tips his head back on a groan. “Oh god, she’s gonna barf again. Shit. I didn’t even think of that.”

“Daaa uh,” Claire whines, reaching for him.

“Da’s got you, Claire Bear, come here baby,” he says, lifting her off the change table and into his arms. His stomach clenches again and he backs out of the room quickly. “I’m sorry, Dean, the stench is making me feel sick all over again.”

“Yeah, I can relate,” Dean answers. “Get outta here, though. I’m - well - I’ll survive. Last thing I need is both of you puking though, so go take her into our room.”

He feels awful for leaving Dean to deal with Claire’s mess, but there isn’t anything more he can do, and he tells himself that at least he’s well enough now to help with Claire. He can’t imagine how horrible it would be to try to figure out what to do with Claire while he cleaned up her crib if he was still a single parent, and blesses Dean silently for the millionth time for being the kind of dad who steps up to help him with this sort of thing.

He sits on the side of his bed, bringing the bowl up beside him hoping he can get Claire over it when she vomits again, and rubs her back as he rocks her gently. He starts singing softly the way he always does when she wakes up in the middle of the night, and she’s out again before he even gets to the chorus of _My Girl_ , which happened to be the first song that popped into his head tonight.

He can barely keep his own eyes open as he hears Dean mumbling curses under his breath as he walks back and forth from Claire’s room to the kitchen, then in the bathroom, and finally, Dean walks into their room looking extremely pale.

“Are you alright?” he whispers with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Dean has a hand on the back of his neck though, and he knows that means he’s not entirely comfortable.

“You don’t look so well.”

Dean shakes his head and gives into a small shudder. “I just, uh, don’t do so well with vomit, you know?”

Castiel has a flashback to a conversation between them so many months ago, and Dean’s warning, _I don’t do diaper changes or vomit._ Obviously, he’s changed his share of diapers over the last half a year, but this is the first time he’s been exposed to vomit.

“I forgot. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it affected you so much,” he answers. “You were adamant about helping me earlier. I had no idea.”

“Was bound to happen sooner or later. I never woulda left you to deal with it all on your own even if I had the choice.”

Castiel smiles because he knows that’s true. “I hit the jackpot with you. You’re such a good dad, Dean.” Dean puffs up with pride the way he always does when he compliments his parenting, but unfortunately his face doesn’t gain any color. “You’re not going to be the next one throwing up, are you?”

“Nah. Was close a time or two when I was in her room, but I think I’m okay now. Just glad I don’t have to look at it or accidentally touch it anymore. I swear I can smell it clinging to me.” He lifts his hands and brings them to his nose, which is when Castiel notices how red they are. He must have scrubbed them raw.

“It’s in your head, sweetheart. I can’t smell anything,” he assures him.

Dean nods. “Gonna go put her back in her crib?”

“I'm going to have to. The Dramamine is making me quite drowsy.”

“Do you think I should just hold her to try to get her to puke in the bowl?” Dean asks.

Castiel considers. This is the first time he’s dealt with a child with the stomach flu, too. “Honestly? This is as new for me as it is for you. I don’t know the best way to do this. I would be worried about her vomiting _on you_ though…”

Dean makes a face of disgust. “Yeah, let’s avoid that if we can. Crib’s probably more comfortable for us all anyway. Lemme take her so you don’t have to smell her room again.”

“You are a saint,” he praises him.

“That’s what I was telling myself when baby barf was on my arm, too,” Dean says, taking Claire and walking back into her room.

Dean climbs back in behind him a few minutes later and sighs, “Good thing I napped earlier. Probably in for a long night.”

“I’m sorry, Dean. I know this is nobody’s ideal Saturday night.”

Dean hums quietly behind him. “That’s where you’re wrong. Still rather be layin’ in bed after mopping up puke with you than doing the same thing with somebody else.”

“Sweet talker.”

Dean huffs out a laugh, and a minute later they’re both back asleep.

Dean turns out to be right. It _is_ a long night, but by mid morning when Claire is finally through with vomiting and snuggled between them in their bed for a rare family morning nap, their eyes meet over Claire’s blonde curls and he knows that there’s nowhere he’d rather be, either.


	8. Chapter 8

Against his better judgement, he allows Dean to convince him to bring Claire to see Santa at the mall for the first time. Though he doesn’t think Claire will like it, he gives in when Dean tells him it will be a nice memory for them to look back on since this is their first Christmas together. They dress her up in a little red velvet dress with fuzzy white accents and Dean is absolutely beaming with pride when Claire starts babbling in excitement and waving and pointing at Santa while they wait in line.

“It’s okay, hon, you don’t have to tell me. I know, I’m a genius,” Dean teases him.

Castiel ignores him in favor of watching Claire. As if she senses his eyes on him, she looks up at him. “Ho ho?”

“Yes, honey, that’s Santa.”

Dean crouches down and says, “You gonna go have your picture taken with ho ho, blondie?”

“No!” she answers.

“Yeah, you are,” Dean tells her. “You’re gonna smile like such a pretty girl for your daddies, okay?”

“Da?” Claire asks, looking up at Castiel. “Uh, peese?”

“Up please,” he repeats for her benefit. Castiel reaches down to pick her up and hitch her onto his hip. “Santa wants to know what presents you want to open for Christmas. You need to go see him and tell him what you want,” he explains as they move closer and closer.

“Choo choo,” Claire answers.

“And a Baby car,” Dean adds.

Her eyes light up and she nods her head. “Baby, peese!”

“See, I told you she’d want that,” Dean whispers.

“But she didn’t need an exact replica of the right year that cost a hundred dollars!” Castiel insists, picking up the continuous argument they’ve been having since Dean bought it for her.

“Pft. Agree to disagree.”

Two more children go before them and finally it’s their turn. Castiel tries to put Claire down so she can walk over, but she clings to him more tightly, burying her face in his chest while simultaneously trying to keep an eye on Santa. So he walks over to the guy pretending to be Santa with a look of apology all over his face.

“Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, little one!” Santa booms.

“Claire,” he hears Dean stage whisper.

“Hello, Claire! Come sit with Santa and tell me what you want for Christmas.”

Claire shakes her head no vehemently.

“Come on. buddy,” Dean says, trying to take her from Castiel’s arms.

“No! Da!” she says, her voice higher pitched with fear.

“It’s okay, Claire Bear, go see daddy,” he whispers.

She goes, albeit reluctantly, and Dean tickles her belly to calm her down before he places her on Santa’s lap. She looks up at Santa with wide eyes and both Dean and Castiel back up quietly, not wanting to spook her. Castiel’s hand snakes out to grasp at Dean’s, his heart in his throat, and then he hears Santa say, “I like your pretty dress, Claire.”

Claire takes one deep breath before she lets out an ear piercing scream and tears start streaming down her face. Castiel takes a step towards her but Dean holds him back.

“Just give her a second,” Dean prompts him.

Santa lets out a hearty laugh and grabs a candy cane out of his pocket to try to bribe her to calm down, but it’s clear to Castiel pretty much immediately that Claire isn’t having any of this. If she won’t stop crying for candy, he knows there’s nothing they’ll be able to do fix this except remove her from the situation.

He breaks out of Dean’s grasp and rushes towards her, scooping her up into his arms and shushing her quietly. “It’s okay, sweetie. All done,” he promises. He sees Dean exchange a few words with Santa and charm three candy canes out of the guy before they walk away.

“Hang on a sec, I wanna see if they got any pictures before the tears started,” Dean says, stopping at the photo booth.

They did get one photo of Claire looking up at Santa with a mixture of wonder and fear, and then several of her screaming her head off. Dean thinks they’re hilarious and buys the lot of them for an exorbitant amount of money, but Castiel is too busy to tell him not to because he’s still trying to get Claire to stop looking at Santa like she thinks he’s going to come running over to scare them at any moment. Dean continuing to think the entire thing is hilarious just irritates him more and more, and when they start walking out of the chaos of the mall back to the Impala, he finally says what’s been brewing since Claire first asked him to pick her up.

“I told you she wouldn’t like this, Dean.”

Dean scoffs. “She’s fine. No permanent damage.”

“She was terrified! I shouldn’t have let you talk me into this,” Castiel answers.

Dean chuckles again. “Relax, hon. She’s okay.”

“Barely.”

Dean leans over and kisses him on the cheek. “A little crazy’s good for the kid. Builds character or some shit.”

He rolls his eyes and turns towards the window to hide his smile. He really needs to work on developing some kind of resistance to his fiance's pretty face.

* * *

 

The rest of the Christmas season comes and goes with more happiness, laughter, and spiced eggnog than some people have in a lifetime. Christmas Eve is spent in their apartment with just the three of them wearing matching pajamas that Dean bought for them, baking cookies for Santa, and watching Christmas cartoons with Claire.

Much later, after the tree is surrounded with many more gifts than he and Dean discussed purchasing (“Santa must’ve come early Cas. I dunno what to tell you,” Dean tells him with an unapologetic grin), he and Dean make love slow and sweet, and both of them fall asleep with smiles on their faces and love in their hearts.

Christmas Day is spent with the Winchesters at Mary’s, where again, he’s overwhelmed by the number of gifts under the tree. Dean sees his shocked expression and reminds him there are gifts to and from seven people here, including one very indulgent grandma. What really eases his mind, though, is the way Claire runs right over to Bentley instead of the pile of gifts under the tree. Clearly, they’ve already done something right with her. After they open their gifts, the food and drinks start coming and don’t stop for the entire day. It’s utter chaos inside the house with so many people and two small children so hyped up on sugar and excitement. The day is exhausting but absolutely wonderful, and only Dean manages to make the short drive home without falling asleep. The look of fondness on Dean’s face when he wakes him by brushing his fingers through his hair is something he knows he’ll always remember about their first Christmas together.

Because the library is closed, Dean arranged to have from the 24th of December to the 2nd of January off with him. Most of that time is spent rearranging Claire’s toys and their closets trying to make space for all of the new gifts they were given. Their already small apartment feels even smaller with all of the new additions, but still, they’re happy to just have so much time to spend together.

New Year’s Eve is spent at Sam and Jess’s. Claire comes, too, of course, and she and Bentley camp out in his bedroom overnight while the adults continue a party of their own. Everybody he’s ever met through the Winchesters makes an appearance, and again, he finds himself indulging in some of the alcohol that’s flowing. As the clock ticks down to midnight, Dean says, “Hey Cas? Ever think about how I’m the last person you’ll ever kiss at midnight?”

He hadn’t had that exact thought yet, and when the clock strikes midnight, he kisses Dean without holding back. “Just wanted to make sure you knew you made the right choice,” he explains when Dean looks at him with amusement and barely veiled arousal in his eyes.

He isn’t surprised when they’re in Sam’s guest room later that night and Dean slides his hands around his waist and into his pants while he nibbles on his ear. Apparently he’s _just_ on the right side of tipsy to be easily convinced they can be quiet enough so that Sam and Jess won’t hear them when Dean gets into position for a lazy sixty-nine. They find out bright and early the next morning how wrong he was with only one look at Sam’s scowl and Jess’s bouncing eyebrows. The only thing keeping him from trying to sink into the floor with embarrassment is Dean’s cheeky reminder that at least Mary didn’t stay over.

January and February fly by in a whirlwind, and before they know it, it’s March, and he and Dean are donning their nicest jeans and dress shirts and are back at Cecil’s to celebrate the anniversary of their first date. They’re a couple of days late because they both wanted to go out on a weekend so they could stay out and enjoy themselves, but in their hearts, tonight is the night.

They can’t keep their hands off each other, and Castiel can’t will his smile away when he thinks about how they acted exactly like this on their first date a year ago. They reminisce over the past year, laughing and declaring their love for one another to a truly sickening degree, but honestly, Castiel is as happy as he’s ever been.

They’ve each had a few beers and some appetizers, and they’re waiting for their meals when Dean says, “We should probably start talking about the wedding, huh?”

Castiel shrugs. “There’s no rush.”

“Cas, come on. We’ve been engaged more than three months and I’ve barely even gotten a word out of you.”

“That’s not true,” he disagrees.

Dean raises his eyebrows at him questioningly. “Yeah? What’ve we talked about?”

“That I don’t want to get married right away and that I don’t want to get married at the courthouse,” he answers, looking up at him through his eyelashes shyly.

“God you’re hot,” Dean comments, leaning in to kiss him quickly. He nibbles on Dean’s bottom lip and Dean lets out a soft sound of pleasure before licking the seam of his lips once and abruptly backing away. “No distracting me, though. I wanna talk about this.”

Castiel nods, knowing Dean’s right and that they should talk about it. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Well, how about we start with picking a date. Or at least a ballpark for a date.”

“I wouldn’t even know how to choose,” he reveals.

Dean stares at him silently for a few seconds before he seems to give in and asks, “Are you purposely making this difficult?”

“No! No. I want to marry you, and I realize we need to talk about it. I just, well, I suppose I don’t know what I want.”

“I’m no wedding planner -”

“Although you _have_ watched more wedding shows on television than anybody else I know,” Castiel reminds him teasingly.

“You shuddup,” Dean says, but he’s grinning. “Let’s talk seasons if you don’t know where to start. Maybe we can narrow it down that way. Summer, spring, winter, or fall?”

“I actually like the idea of a winter wedding, but I’m thinking snow and ice, and we don’t exactly get that here. I definitely don’t want it to be too hot; you know how red I get in extreme heat,” he says.

“Okay, so not summer.”

“What were you thinking?” he asks Dean.

“Me? I’d marry you tomorrow,” Dean replies. “But for planning everything, we’ll probably need close to a year. I know you don’t want to get married right away, so is that long enough for you?”

“A year from now?” He ponders it after Dean nods. They’d be engaged more than a year - almost a year and a half. Claire would be three and a half. “Yes, a year from now would be acceptable, I think. I’d have to check with your mom, though.”

“Ma? Why?”

“I promised her a long engagement when I first asked for her blessing to propose,” he answers.

Dean leans away and gives him an appraising look. “You never told me that before. Is she the reason this whole long engagement thing is in your head?”

“It’s certainly a part of it, yes.”

Dean huffs before he clenches his jaw, a tell that he’s annoyed and trying to keep his temper under control. “All this time...” he trails off.

“All this time what?”

“I dunno. I guess I sorta thought you weren’t excited about marrying me. Like you were tryin’ to put it off or something.”

“No, sweetheart, not at all,” he promises, taking his hand to tangle their fingers together. “I love you, and of course I’m excited about marrying you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I suppose even though I told her I wouldn’t at the time, I allowed your mother to get inside my head about not moving too quickly. I did that with Arthur and it turned out so badly, I suppose _that_ along with what Mary said made me buy into the idea the longer we wait the longer it would last.”

Dean shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter if we get married tomorrow or thirty years from now. You’re stuck with me for good. Thought you knew that already.”

“I do. It’s what I want. I want to marry you, Dean. I want to be an official Winchester.”

Dean’s smile spreads so quickly it takes his breath away. “I want that, too.”

“And Claire, too. I, um, actually looked that up. What we’d have to do in order for you to adopt her legally.” He sees Dean swallow thickly and he squeezes his hand in a gesture of support. “I figured it would be a bit of a process so I thought we might want to get the ball rolling on it. But it turns out that one of the requirements for a step-parent to adopt is that we need to be legally married.”

“So let’s get married,” Dean says anxiously. “You don’t know how bad I want that, Cas. I was afraid to bring it up in case you thought it was too fast.” Castiel shakes his head in disagreement. “She calls me Daddy now, and it’s - it’s more than I thought I’d ever have, you know? But I’m a selfish son of a bitch and I want it all.”

“You’ll have it,” he promises. “In my mind she’s yours as much as she’s mine. I want her to legally belong to you, too.”

“Then we just gotta pick a date,” Dean brings up again.

“I do like the idea of getting married outdoors. In the grass so Claire could roll around and play if she got bored,” he says with a small smile. Dean nods, obviously picturing it the way he is. “I think everything from October to January is already insanity as it is, so I couldn’t imagine adding our wedding anniversary to that for the rest of our lives.”

“Music to my ears, hon,” Dean smiles, lifting his hand to his face to kiss it. “June, July, and August are _way_ too hot for you if you wanna be outside.”

“So really, March would work.”

“It’s March right now.” Castiel chuckles at Dean’s comment, being fully aware of what month it is considering they’re celebrating a year since they met. “So are you thinking two Marches from now? Like... 2021?”

He shakes his head quickly. “No, I don’t want to wait another two years.”

Dean sighs with relief. “Me neither. Think we could arrange everything in a year, though?”

“It’s not as if it has to be an ordeal. We can make it special without making it a circus.”

Dean nods again and says, “I’d never put you through something like that. I know you get a little nervous bein’ the center of attention.”

He’s never come right out and _said_ that, so the fact that Dean’s noticed and wants him to feel comfortable makes him turn to mush - which really shouldn’t have as big of an affect on him as it does considering he’s pretty much been feeling this way since the day they met. “You’re right, the thought of standing in front of hundreds of people horrifies me.”

“I was thinkin’ about that the other day, and we should keep it small, you know? I say fifty people _max_.” The thought of even fifty people all looking at him makes his palms sweat. “You don’t have to worry about any of them. Just keep looking at my face you say you love so much and you’ll be fine.”

“I know you’re teasing me, but that may actually work. You do have a calming effect on me.”

“Not what you were sayin’ the other night,” Dean says with a grin.

He huffs out a laugh even as the memory sends a zing of desire straight to his crotch. “Yes well, unless you’re planning on eating me out in front of our guests I don’t think you’ll be getting a repeat performance of _that_ at the altar.”

“Mmmm keep talking dirty to me, baby,” Dean says, lowering his voice deliberately and smirking at him in a way that should be absolutely illegal.

“You’re the worst,” he complains as his face heats up.

“Bet you’re at least a little hard right now.”

“I never said you were stupid,” he dodges, and Dean throws his head back and laughs.

“I fucking love you.” Dean still has a big smile on his face, and his eyes are lit up with lingering laughter.

“I love you, too,” he replies.

“So did we just pick a month? March 2020?”

“March sounds as good to me as any other time,” he answers. “As long as you think your mom’s going to be okay with it.”

“Hey, you marrying me or my mom?” Castiel gives him an unamused look. “Exactly. I think it’s cute you asked her for her blessing, but we don’t need her to okay the day we get married. The only ones who have to be okay with the day we pick is me and you, alright?”

Dean’s right. He knows he’s right, and yet he still craves that validation from Mary. “I’ll work on it,” he promises.

“Hey, you know what’s kinda nice about 2020? Easy to do anniversary math.”

“You’re fantastic at math anyway,” he points out.

“Still. Won’t be able to fuck it up this way.” As if he would ever forget how many years they’ve been married in the first place. Dean’s not that kind of guy. “I was also kinda thinking -”

“It seems as though you’ve been doing quite a bit of thinking when it comes to the wedding.”

Dean shrugs a shoulder, but his cheeks go a little pink. “Guy can’t be excited about his own wedding day?”

“Of course you can. I’m pleased you’ve been thinking about it so much. I think it’s very sweet.”

Dean pulls him in for another kiss, and Castiel knows it’s at least a little bit to hide that he’s embarrassed over being called sweet. Dean nuzzles against his cheek before he says quietly, “I don’t really wanna do the big wedding party thing. I think I just wanna have you, Claire and Sam up there with us, and whoever you want. Unless you’re set on something else?”

He feels his smile drop slightly before he works at attempting to hide it. “I don’t even know who I’d want up there with me. I’m not particularly close to anybody other than you, Claire, and your family.”

Something flickers in Dean’s eyes before it’s replaced with kindness and understanding. “Sam can still be Best Man and not stand with us. He’d get it. I don’t want you to feel like you have to ask somebody just to balance it out.”

“Just you and I then?”

“And Claire. I’m pretty sure she’s not gonna let us have all the attention,” Dean says.

His lips curve genuinely this time as he thinks about all the times she’s wiggled her way between them. “That’s true. Though she may sit with Bentley voluntarily. But Dean, I don’t want you to give up having Sam stand with you on your wedding day. You two are more than brothers, you’re best friends as well. I know you don’t really want that.”

“As long as he’s there to sneak me a shot of whisky, kick my ass down the aisle when I freak out, and tell all of the embarrassing stories he’s been saving for a speech, I’m good.”

“Dean -” he protests again

“Cas, c’mon. You know I’d tell you if I wasn’t okay with it.”

“Not if you’re just trying to make me feel better about not having a best friend,” he says.

“You got a best friend. You’re just marrying him.”

Castiel has to look away again because he doesn’t want to cry on their date. Dean has no idea how true that statement is. Obviously they’re more than just friends, but the way they’re silly together and push each other’s buttons just for laughs _is_ a part of their relationship that’s more akin to friends than lovers. Or it is in his experience anyway. If somebody asked him who his best friend is, he’d answer Dean without hesitation. His lips quirk into a small smile at the thought.

Dean leans back and slides his hand into his pocket to pull out his phone. He opens the calendar and lays his phone down on the table in front of them both. “Let’s pick a weekend.”

Castiel exhales slowly as he looks at the possibilities. “My only opinion is _not_ Friday the 13th.”

Dean chuckles. “Yeah, that’s just asking for all kinds of trouble. We should have a buffer around that.”

“So not the 14th. I assume it should be a Saturday?”

“Probably be easiest for most people. A Friday’d probably work too if we wanted to do an evening thing.”

“Hmmm. I like that idea, other than the fact that Claire likely wouldn’t last too long,” he says, thinking aloud. “I just imagined those little lights everywhere.”

“Fairy lights,” Dean supplies.

“Yes! In trees, maybe? Maybe we could look into a park where the kids could run around and enjoy themselves afterwards. We could have tea lights in mason jars for decorations on the tables.” Dean’s looking at him with so much softness and excitement in his eyes now he has to stop to ask, “What?”

“Nothin’. It’s just this is the first time I’ve seen you get excited about our wedding, and it’s just, you know. Making me feel those butterflies again.”

Castiel looks away, suddenly feeling shy under his gaze. “It’s been a while since you’ve mentioned the butterflies.”

“Don’t worry. They haven’t gone anywhere. That one look from you and they’re outta control all over again.”

“Dean,” he breathes, so happy he almost can’t bear it.

“If you wanna have the lights and stuff, why _don’t_ we do an evening wedding? Can still be a Saturday. Do the wedding part at four or five, then pictures and toasts and shit, then by the time we eat and do our dances, the sun will be starting to set. We can have some fun with Claire - she can be in the wedding and everything - we can take turns dancing with her, then when she gets too tired and goes down to bed the real party can start,” he says with an eyebrow waggle.

He can see Claire and Bentley dancing in his head, can see Dean twirling Claire around on a dance floor with lights twinkling over their heads. He can see himself wrapped in Dean’s arms, see the horrible dance moves Dean’s going to force him into, and he knows that’s exactly what he wants.

“Yes. Yes, let’s do that. I want all of that. You pick the day, though. Any day is fine.”

“Alright. No pressure here,” Dean jokes. “Lucky number seven?”

“March 7, 2020. Dean and Castiel Winchester.” His heart is fluttering so wildly he has to take a breath. “Yes, Dean. It sounds perfect.”

“C’mere,” Dean breathes, and he pulls him in for a kiss by wrapping a hand around the back of his neck. Dean works his lips around his bottom lip, pressing them together soft and sweet while his hand slips forwards onto his face. Castiel’s hand has slid from between Dean’s to rest on his hip, his thumb brushing across the waistband of his jeans. Dean pulls away to press a kiss to his jaw, then behind his ear where his breath warm on his skin causes goosebumps to erupt.

“You make me so damn happy, Cas,” he whispers.

He leans his head against Dean’s, wishing he could actually crawl into his lap and bury his face in the crook of his neck just to be closer to him. He jolts away when their waitress appears with their food, simultaneously hating her and knowing they need to put some space between them before they make the rash decision to leave without eating so they can be alone. He grins to himself when he sees the annoyed look all over Dean’s face, knowing he’s firmly in the “hating her” camp, and he squeezes his knee gently to try to calm him down. Thankfully, Dean is easily persuaded back into happiness when he bites into his burger and the live music begins. It’s a cover band tonight who is actually quite good, and they both get swept away in the music as well as each other.

It’s after ten when Dean pays their bill and whispers into his ear, “Ready for part two of the night?”

He leans away to look at him curiously. “Do you mean sex?”

Dean snorts with laughter. “No, but I’m hoping for that, too.”

“I thought we were just going to have dinner?”

“I lied,” Dean says lightly. “Come on!”

They get into the Impala and Dean heads away from home, onto the highway that leads out of town. Dean keeps grinning over at him, but his knee is bouncing nervously, so he knows whatever he has planned is important to him. After about ten minutes, he switches on his blinker, slows down, and turns onto a dirt road.

“Where are we going?”

“Almost there, you’ll see,” Dean answers. It’s another minute of a few twists and turns before the Impala begins slowly winding its way up a bit of a hill. Finally, they come to the top where the dirt road turns into a long driveway of interlocking brick, lit up by lanterns all along it.

“Who lives here?” Castiel asks, [looking now at the house in front of them](https://imgur.com/QkUC4Fu). It isn’t a big house like you’d expect to find at the top of a hill like this, but it’s gorgeous. It’s also lit up with various outdoor lights, and he can see the white brick the house is made of, complimented nicely by the soft green door and light grey shutters. The house is surrounded by mature trees with a great big one in the front yard, complete with a tire swing. It’s adorable.

Dean gets out of the car without answering him, so he follows his lead and walks to his side to join him. Dean laces their fingers together and walks up to the front door where he types a code into the keypad and enters the house. He flicks the lights on and Castiel takes in the very empty inside of the house.

The floors are all dark and gleaming hardwood inside what he assumes is meant to be a living room. The ceiling is high, and there’s hallways splitting off to both sides of the house as well as in front of them. Dean leads him straight ahead, through the eat-in kitchen (with white marble countertops Castiel would die for) to a set of patio doors. Dean flips another switch, and the covered porch is bathed in light from over their heads. His eyes go to the enormous, comfortable looking chaise that’s obviously setup for the two of them, as it’s surrounded by candles waiting to be lit with a cooler full of champagne on ice.

“When did you do this? And why? I’m so confused,” he says to Dean.

Dean tugs his hand so that he’s facing away from the chaise and pulls him towards the railing of the deck. The back yard is _huge_. It’s also awash in light from the same lanterns that were in the front yard, and he can see that the yard is entirely surrounded by trees and bushes, making him feel like they’re the only ones in the world. There’s also a large playground set up off to one side with two swings, slides, a rock climbing wall, and a fireman’s pole. He’s thinking about how much Claire would love something like that some day when Dean interrupts his thoughts.

“We could get married here,” Dean says quietly, wrapping his arms around him from behind. “I know you can’t see all that well in the dark, but when you started talking about outside and fairy lights and mason jars I couldn’t not think about how perfect this would be. Can’t you see a little altar set up at the back and a million fairy lights strung up in the trees?”

Castiel nods his head in agreement as his chest fills with warmth. He can see it all clear as day. He leans back against Dean’s chest and pulls his arms around him even tighter. “Yes. Yes, I can see it. Do the people who own this house do weddings?”

Dean presses a kiss to his temple and says, “I was kinda hoping _we_ could own it.”

Castiel turns to face him. “What!? Dean, we can’t buy a house just to get married here.”

“Getting married here would be a bonus. I came and looked at the house earlier in the week, and I fell in love with it. Then you started talking tonight about getting married outside and it just - it felt like it was supposed to be here.”

“Dean,” Castiel protests. His heart is throbbing because he _loves_ the look and feel of this house. He loves how it’s private, but at the same time not so far away from everything that going into town would be a hassle. He loves thinking about sitting on this deck and reading a book while Claire runs around in the yard. He loves the idea of sharing all of that with Dean, but the cold and hard truth is there’s no way he could afford to live in this kind of a house.

“You know I’m not gonna pressure you if you don’t want to, but can I at least show you around the rest of the place first?” Dean asks him. He’s looking at him with so much hope and excitement just barely veiled in his eyes that he knows how important this is to him, even if Dean’s trying not to let it show.

“Of course,” he responds.

And so Dean gives him a tour. Down one hallway is the master bedroom with attached ensuite, which Dean points out is equipped with a bathtub big enough for both of them. The bedroom has a skylight, and Dean flips off the light with a huge smile on his face to show him how they can see the stars. Castiel points out how the sunlight would stream in, too, and Dean waves him off, saying they rarely sleep long enough for that to be an issue anyway. There’s another set of patio doors that lead to the front porch and also gives them a good view of the tire swing in the yard. There’s also a whole wall with built in bookshelves that he has to try to tell himself not to salivate over.

Across the hall from the master bedroom is what Dean says would be Claire’s bedroom at first, though they could turn it into a nursery when they’re ready for another baby so the littlest one would be close by. He leads him down the opposite hallway where there’s two additional bedrooms - one for Claire once she’s older, and one for either guests or to use as a playroom - a second bathroom, and a laundry room.

The more he sees, the more torn he becomes. He _loves_ the layout. He loves how they could have Claire close at first, and then a baby, and then when both children get old enough, they could be down one end of the hallway together, giving him and Dean their privacy at the other end. He loves the sprawling living room which is _much_ larger than the one they have now. Dean tells him they would have so much more space for Claire and her toys, and the baby stuff like a swing and an exersaucer down the road. He can’t entirely contain a wince when he thinks about trying to fit that into their current apartment, and he knows they’d have to move regardless of whether they bought a house or not.

He really likes that the house is so nice, but not extravagant or so large that he’d feel pretentious living in it. He also really likes that it’s all on one floor. They don’t have to worry about the kids falling in the middle of the night, and he knows they could easily live here until they’re old and grey, and their knees would thank them for the lack of steps. Dean, of course, loves that there’s a garage where Baby can be tucked away so nicely, and his eyes light up when he talks about how nice it would be to have his own space to tune her up without bugging Benny all the time. He’s sure Dean didn’t mean to do it on purpose, but seeing him come alive while talking about that is what puts the final nail in the coffin for him.

His heart is beating wildly, and his face is far too warm for the cool night air to warrant when Dean leads them back out to the deck. He climbs onto the chaise when Dean prompts him, but instead of reclining, he sits cross legged, and Dean busies himself with lighting the candles laid out around them while he gives him a few minutes to collect his thoughts.

“What do you think?” Dean asks him.

“I love it,” he responds truthfully. “I love the idea of us sitting out here late at night like this -”

“We gotta add a hot tub,” Dean interrupts to add.

The thought makes him smile wider. “In a dream world, that would be perfect. All of this would be perfect. But Dean, realistically, there’s no way we can afford to live in a house like this.”

Dean finishes up with the candles and goes to flip the outdoor lights off. He’s bathed in candlelight when he sits down next to him, resting one hand on his knee. Castiel leans in closer towards him instinctively.

“We could if you’d just let me buy it.”

He straightens his back in surprise. “Just - just buy it?” he repeats, the words not making sense in his head.

Dean has a crooked smile on his face when he responds, “Yeah. You know. Take the money out of the bank and use it to buy this house.”

His mind is stuttering. Dean’s mentioned a few times that he has money in the bank, but he never dreamed he had _this much_ money. “You have enough money readily available to purchase a house like this outright? Without a mortgage?”

Now it’s Dean’s turn to look confused. “Well, yeah. I told you when we first started dating that me and Sam both got a bunch of money from my dad. Plus we do real good at the gym, and living expenses are pretty much nil now that we’re living together. Especially since you never let me spend a lot of money on you and Claire,” he teases.

“I knew you were well off. I suppose I just didn’t realize _how_ well off you are.”

Dean chuckles. “And to think you put a ring on it before you even knew.”

His heart drops at that. “The ring - you must think - I _asked_ Sam if it cost enough money at the time and he told me -”

“Hey! Cut it out. You know I love the ring you bought me, Cas. It’s perfect. It doesn’t matter how much it cost - which I know nothing about anyway. But it doesn’t matter anyway. If it cost fifty bucks or fifty thousand, I’d love it the same because it came from _you_ , you doofus.”

He frowns at the insult, but understands the sentiment behind it all the same. “You know how I feel about you spending money on me.”

Dean huffs in disbelief. “How come everything we do is a _we_ and  _us_ and _family_ right up until it has to do with money?”

He feels his back go up at the obviously well rehearsed question. “Because I didn’t earn the money you would be using to buy this house. It was yours long before I came along, and has nothing to do with us or our family.”

“That’s stupid,” Dean answers, causing his frown to deepen and anger start to build within him. “You could say the same thing about Claire. She was yours before I even knew she existed. Doesn’t mean you didn’t share her with me.”

“It’s not the same thing and you know it.”

“You’re damn right it’s not the same thing. Claire’s worth a hell of a lot more than what I could ever have in the bank, and you shared her with me anyway. You gave me the most important thing in your life. Why won’t you let me share something of mine with both of you?”

He sputters for a moment before settling on, “We’ve only known each other a year! What if I steal all of your money and take Claire and run? Not as if I’ve never done it before.”

Dean rolls his eyes and says, “Then at least I’d have a year to look back on.”

“Stop it,” he scoffs, annoyed with Dean’s flippant answer.

“ _You_ stop it!” Dean replies childishly. “That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I would appreciate it if you could refrain from name calling while we’re having this ridiculous conversation.”

“ _I’d_ appreciate it if you’d just let me do this for you without being a stubborn ass about it.” The word has barely left his mouth when he corrects, “Without being _stubborn_. I take back the ass part.”

“Dean,” he groans unhappily.

“Cas, listen,” Dean says, his voice softer now. He reaches over to take his hand between his and continues, “Seriously. If you’re never going to accept me spending the money I have in the bank on our family, what do you think I’m gonna do with it? If I can’t buy a house, pay for the wedding, buy you a car that isn’t a bucket of rust or pay for our kids to go to school, then what’s the point of even having it? Those are the things I was saving my money for. Hoping I’d find somebody I love as much as I love you so I can share the kinda life with you I’ve always wanted.” Infuriatingly, he makes a good point about what he would use the money for if not on what he mentioned. “I don’t care if you don’t want this house. We’ll find another one if it’s too fast or you don’t like it. But please don’t tell me you’re never gonna let me use the money I worked hard for to provide for my family. I don’t wanna hear that.”

His words are quiet when they finally come. “It’s not that I don’t like the house.”

Dean perks up at that. “Yeah?”

“I love the house,” he admits.

“Then come on, honey,” Dean begs him. “If you love it, and I love it, please let me do this for you.”

Castiel closes his eyes to block out the way Dean’s looking at him with so much love and hope in his eyes. “How much does it cost?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Dean says softly.

“It _does_ matter,” he insists, opening his eyes again to assess the way Dean’s dodging the question.

“I have enough to pay for this and pay for our wedding, and still have enough left to send two kids to school. And we’re both going to keep working and earning more.”

That’s a lot of money.

But he _still_ didn’t answer the question.

“So you’re really not going to tell me how much it costs?”

“Jeez. You’re like a dog with a bone,” Dean responds, but he’s smiling. “I know it’s my money, but if we buy it, _we_ are buying it. Both our names on the title. So you’ll see eventually.”

“Two hundred thousand dollars?”

Dean laughs as his eyes dart away. “In that general ballpark, yeah.”

“Holy shit,” he gasps.

“Stop thinking about it,” Dean tells him.

“I can’t! It’s like the number is flashing in my head in neon lights.”

“Caaass,” Dean whines, scooching even closer to him. “Are you gonna let me do this for you? For us?” He doesn’t say anything. He wants to say yes so badly, but he hates taking so much of Dean’s money. “Think about how much Claire’s gonna love it out here. We can get her a sand box and one of those little swimming pools. She can grow up learning how to climb trees and do cartwheels in the grass. And you know she’ll love the playground because it’ll be just like the park.”

He can see all of it in his head so clearly that his breath catches. “That’s just mean,” he whispers, barely able to hold back his yes.

“Told you a while ago I knew your weakness,” Dean reminds him. “Please, Cas. I love you so much, and if you wanna live here, I wanna live here with you. Take turns having everybody over for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Get married here and let you make love to me every night under the stars. Raise our children here.”

How can he say no to that? How could _anybody_ say no to that?

“Okay,” he sighs.

“ _Okay_? Okay, we can put an offer in?” Dean asks excitedly.

Dean’s enthusiasm is contagious, and this time his reply comes out a little bit louder and with a reluctant smile on his face. “Yes.”

Dean lets out a loud whoop of excitement and descends onto him, knocking him back onto the reclining chair, climbing between his legs and crushing their lips together, moaning happily into his mouth. “Fuck I love you.” He kisses him again and again, finally pulling away to rest their heads together. “I love you so damn much, Cas. Thank you.”

“I believe I should be the one thanking _you_ since you’re the one buying it.”

“No. I mean it. Thank you for giving me everything I’ve ever wanted,” Dean clarifies.

There’s nothing he can possibly say to that, so he pulls him in for another kiss, trying not to let the way Dean’s currently nestled between his legs affect him too much. As soon as Dean’s tongue swipes along his lips and into his mouth, he knows that's a losing battle, and when Dean starts rocking against him he deepens the kiss and slides his hands down to squeeze his ass. Dean makes a happy sound in his throat and pushes his hand up his shirt. When Dean skims his thumb across his nipple his hips jolt forwards and the additional friction makes his breath come out all in a rush, breaking their kiss.

Which is when he remembers they’re at somebody else’s home, _outside_ , and they really shouldn’t be doing this here.

“Okay, okay, back off Romeo,” he says, pushing on Dean’s chest lightly.

Dean frowns and refuses to move away. “You can’t kiss me like that, grab my ass, and then tell me to back off.”

Castiel kisses him quickly in apology. “We just have to get home and I promise I’ll take good care of you.”

Dean rolls his hips forwards, dragging their quickly hardening cocks together. “Don’t wanna go home.”

“Well we can’t have sex out here!”

“Sure we can. I even brought lube,” Dean says, grinning and rubbing against him again.

Castiel huffs in fond exasperation. Of course he did. “We don’t even live here. What if we make a mess in this chair?”

“I bought this chair,” Dean says, leaning in to kiss along his jaw. “For us.” Dean’s luscious lips are causing his heart to start racing again as he moves them down to his neck. “And it just so happens that the cushions are waterproof.” Dean scrapes his teeth over his adams apple and Castiel can’t hold in a moan. Castiel knows he’s decided to allow this when he turns his head to the side to give him more room, and Dean nips across his skin and down to the curve of his shoulder as his clever fingers begin working on his buttons to free up more skin to taste.

“Want you,” Dean says, muffled against his body.

Arousal courses through him, and he pushes his hands up the back of Dean’s shirt and responds, “This is that exhibitionist thing, isn’t it?”

“Maybe a little,” Dean says. “Technically we’re in private.”

“Outsi-ide,” he stutters as Dean’s mouth travels down his chest.

“Doesn’t sound like a no,” Dean comments, sneaking a hand between them to rub against Castiel’s erection through his jeans. He can feel his cock straining against his zipper, and isn’t at all displeased when Dean pops the button and opens his fly for him. “Love how fast you get hard for me still.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Castiel disagrees.

“The fuck it is. It’s hot as hell.” Dean keeps sliding down between his legs, pulls his cock out, and flicks his eyes up to meet his. “I love your cock,” he says before taking the tip into his mouth. Dean braces himself on one elbow, steadying his cock with one hand and using the other to start tugging Castiel’s pants down awkwardly. Castiel takes pity on him and pushes them down for him, and is rewarded when Dean swirls his tongue around his head once expertly before sinking down his shaft in one go.

“Fuck,” he sighs happily.

Dean’s mouth is absolutely sinful. He has to fight the urge to tilt his head back and lose himself in the flood of pleasure, knowing that watching the way Dean’s lips stretch around him is half the fun. Dean's cheeks are already stained pink, his pupils blown wide from the lack of light and desire, and his lips are shiny with spit. He’s looked down at Dean just like this hundreds of times, and it’s no less mind blowing for him now than it was the first time. He’s unbelievably good at sucking cock.

With one meaningful look between them, he knows Dean wants him to fuck his mouth. Because of the way he’s reclined, he can easily reach his head, so he lifts his hands to slide them through his short hair and pulls his face down onto his cock as he thrusts upwards. Dean’s eyes go a little wide before they go even darker, and Dean rearranges himself to use both hands to brace himself, wordlessly telling Castiel to keep going. He tilts his hips to force his cock deeper between Dean’s plush lips in time with moving his head, and it isn’t long before they’re both moaning, Castiel already feeling the telltale signs of his impending orgasm.

Dean must notice, too, because he sucks one final time on the tip and pulls away, wiping at his mouth before he kisses his way back up his chest.

“God, you’re amazing,” Castiel praises him.

“Could do that for days,” Dean says, laving his tongue over his nipple. “Love sucking you off.”

“You always look so gorgeous.”

Dean captures his mouth in a heated kiss while he undoes the top few buttons of his own shirt and tugs it up over his head, revealing his muscular upper body. Nobody should be allowed to look this good in candlelight, and he already knows exactly how sexy he’ll look while it dances along his golden skin.

“Ride me,” he tells Dean, suddenly needy for him on top of him.

“Read my mind,” Dean grins, already working on undoing his pants and wiggling them off. He tosses them away and then curses, getting up to dig into the pocket and coming back with a small packet of lube. “Like a boy scout,” he announces proudly.

“Come over here and I can help you get your ass nice and wet,” Castiel offers. It’s almost comical how eagerly Dean straddles him in reverse, shoving his now bare ass in his face, but instead of laughing, he spreads Dean’s cheeks and seals his mouth over his hole, licking across his opening without preamble. He elicits his favorite needy sounds from Dean like this, and his dick stands with rapt attention for each one. He slathers his tongue over his rim, wiggling it in bit by bit as Dean begins to rock back into him. He moans happily, massaging Dean’s ass cheeks as he works on him, feeling him opening for him easily.

He slides two spit slick fingers into his center and crooks them purposefully, searching for and finding his prostate in a single breath. Dean moans the way he always does when he stimulates his sweet spot for the first time, and almost immediately starts asking for a third finger. Castiel lowers his mouth to tongue at his ball sack while he keeps fingering him open. “Lube, Dean,” he says. Dean would quite happily fuck without it, he’s sure, but there’s no way he’s going to put him through that even if Dean wanted him to.

Instead of passing it to him though, Dean applies it to his own fingers, knocks Castiel’s hand hand away, and stuffs three fingers roughly inside of himself only inches from his face with a greedy moan.

“You goddamn tease,” Castiel breathes heavily, incredibly aroused by watching the way his hole stretches around them.

He reaches between Dean’s legs to grasp his cock again, but Dean jerks away almost instantly. “You don’t wanna do that right now,” Dean rasps, and the sound of his voice scraping out of his throat is enough to him exactly why. He watches raptly as Dean fingers himself open, while he rubs and tugs on his balls just to make him gasp and moan. Dean arches his back and shoves his ass back further. Castiel leans in to lick around his beautifully pink rim and Dean moans louder than ever. Heat rushes through him at the sound, and in this moment, the only thing he wants in the entire world is to bury himself deep inside of his fiance. He can’t wait any more.

“Are you ready?” he asks anxiously.

“Hell yeah,” Dean says, turning himself around in a hurry.

Dean slicks Castiel’s length up mechanically, then he’s holding it steady, and _holy shit_. It’s so fucking good when he feels him take him inside; all hot and slick and still so damn tight. Dean doesn’t wait before he surges forwards and licks his way into his mouth, impatiently seeking the taste of himself on Castiel’s tongue. Dean winds his arms around him, sliding one hand into his hair and bracing one hand on his shoulder, and then he starts undulating his hips on top of him seductively. All at once he can’t concentrate enough to keep kissing him when he’s already feeling like he’s ready to blow his load.

“Jesus Christ,” Castiel gasps. “You feel so good, Dean.”

“Always so good,” Dean agrees. “Keep kissing me.”

Castiel smiles into their next kiss, tongues sliding together lavishly as their bodies start to find a rhythm. He breaks the seal of their lips long enough to say, “I love you, Dean.”

“Love you, and your fat cock,” Dean answers, making him laugh in surprise. Dean lifts his hips and slams down onto him. His laugh comes to an abrupt end in a breathy exhale, and Dean smirks at him looking so damn cocky and sexy as hell as he just keeps fucking himself on his cock fast and hard.

“God, Dean, how are you mine?” he groans in ecstasy.

“Luckiest son of a bitch alive.”

“I am,” Castiel agrees, tugging him in for another dirty kiss to stop the argument he knows is coming. It’s all tongues and teeth and Dean’s hand tightening in the hair on the back of his head. Dean’s pace speeds up even faster, and Castiel meets it enthusiastically with each roll of his hips.  

“Ughnn, Cas,” Dean breathes, maintaining his pace as his cock bobs heavily between them. Dean leans forwards to skip his tongue between his lips, curling it wickedly against his own before Dean’s teeth close down and drag on his bottom lip.

“ _Dean_ ,” he breathes heavily, chasing his mouth for another kiss to sink into. They only last another few seconds before Dean pulls away again.

“Fuck, why’s this so hot? Barely even got started and I’m gonna come.”

Nothing will ever be as hot as watching Dean come untouched, and the knowledge that he’s almost there has him teetering on the edge with a low moan.

He can feel the way Dean becomes more and more desperate in the way he moves. Dean angles his hips so that his prostate gets nailed dead on each time he pounds down onto him, and his ass begins to tighten around him as his body tells him what he doesn’t have to say anymore.

“Yeah, you wanna see me come, don’t you, hon?” Dean taunts him.

Castiel wrenches his mouth away from his neck to pant, “Don’t stop, Dean. Don’t you dare fucking stop.”

“It’s too good.”

“Don’t care,” he responds desperately, gripping his hips and guiding him to keep moving. “Oh Dean. Dean, Dean, Dean,” he chants as he’s driven higher and higher.

“Come on, baby. Come for me, Cas.” Castiel’s fingers dig into the notches of his hips, his body so conditioned to giving Dean whatever he wants that he feels himself pulled closer to his climax just from his words. “Please, Cas.”

The only thing he seems to be able to think or say is Dean’s name, so it comes out again - in a plea of his own this time. “ _Dean_.”

“Fuck.” He can feel Dean’s nails pierce his skin just before he sighs, “Love you.”

“Love you,” he answers.

And when Dean clenches around him, he loses the ability to hold back. He thrusts upwards, meeting his ass halfway down while Dean’s cock jerks as he spills between them with a stuttering exhale. With no choice but to take over, Castiel fucks up into him hard and fast, only needing to plunge inside of him a few more times before his own body goes rigid. He pulls Dean’s ass down hard, burying himself to the hilt with a final powerful thrust as he comes over and over, aided by Dean’s still clenching walls and the sight of him impaled on his cock looking thoroughly fucked.

Dean lifts up off of him and slides down his body until his head is pillowed on his heaving chest. A few minutes later when he can remember how to move his arms, he lifts his hand to brush through Dean’s sweaty hair.

“Hell of a way to christen a new house, huh?” Dean offers a little while later. He stretches like a cat and lifts his head to grin up at him.

“I have to apologize,” Castiel responds.

“What for?” Dean asks, his expression slipping into confusion.

“If this is the way you react to a little bit of exhibitionism, I am sincerely sorry for holding out on you for so long,” Castiel says.

Dean’s face cracks on a smile and he shakes his head at him before bending over to grab his shirt and tosses it at him. The sleeve lands in Dean’s cum and Castiel lifts it off of him hurriedly.

“Hey! That landed in some of your mess!” he complains.

“Good, let me mop up my ass with it then,” Dean says, reaching for it again with laughter in his eyes.

“Wipe your ass with your own shirt,” Castiel tells him as he tugs it away.

Dean laughs and leans in to kiss him noisily on the cheek. “I’m gonna go clean up in the bathroom. I’ll bring you toilet paper to clean up your hot bod.”

He disappears through the screen door a second later, and Castiel leans his head back, smiling happily to himself. This night has been a whirlwind. Actually, everything since he met Dean a year ago has been a whirlwind, and without him, he probably never would have discovered how much good a little bit of crazy could bring into his life.

He’s back in his jeans when Dean comes back out, still naked as the day he was born without a shred of embarrassment, holding damp toilet paper that he uses to mop up his chest.

“Thank you,” Castiel says.

“Least I could do after you fucked my brains out.”

“I believe you deserve the credit for that,” Castiel points out as he pulls his shirt back on and buttons it up.

“Yeah,” Dean agrees with a grin, getting himself dressed. “I’m awesome.”

“You really are.”

“Think we’re ready for the champagne now?” Deans asks, nodding to it in the cooler.

Castiel reaches for it and smiles wistfully at the label. “This is the same brand your mom bought us to celebrate our engagement.”

“Well yeah. After seeing how the bubbles went to your head that night, I knew it was the way to go,” Dean says, holding out a corkscrew. He has no idea how to open a bottle of champagne, so he trades the bottle for it instead. Dean opens it with more difficulty and curse words than he expected, but then his flute is overflowing and Dean’s looking at him with that special smile he only ever reserves for him, and he can’t imagine anything more perfect.

“Only a half a glass for me, I still gotta drive us home,” Dean says.

He ends up drinking almost the entire bottle on his own without much prompting at all, and he falls asleep in the Impala on the way home. Dean wakes him with a kiss to his forehead, and he walks to their apartment mostly in a daze where he falls back asleep still completely dressed.

He wakes up in pajama pants with a heavy head in the morning, but he and Dean make an offer on the house that very day.

They don’t hear anything for several days, but finally, Dean bursts through the doors at the library on Friday afternoon with Claire in his arms - and after his heart restarts once he sees that she’s fine - he belatedly registers the smile on Dean’s face.

“We got it, Cas. They accepted our first offer. We just need to get a home inspection and sign the papers and it’s ours.”

They get possession of their first home midway through April, and after shopping for new furniture (which caused one of their longest running arguments to date - one that Castiel ultimately won, because  _who in their right mind_ thinks white leather furniture with small children is a good idea?) and painting, they move in officially on May 1st. He and Dean spend their first night in their first home taking turns calming down Claire as she wakes up repeatedly, obviously scared from not knowing where she is in an unfamiliar environment.  

But the next day, they spend the afternoon in the backyard where Claire is so excited over the swingset that she doesn’t stop babbling a stream of nonsense the entire time, and he’s reminded once again by the smiles on the faces of the two people he loves most in the world that a little chaos can be good for the soul. Which is good, considering he’s pretty much guaranteed to have a lifetime of exactly that with Claire and Dean.


	9. Chapter 9

Castiel wakes with a start on a Thursday in March. The first thing he sees is the stars over his head, so he knows immediately it’s far too early for him to be awake. He listens carefully for Claire, assuming that's what woke him, but instead, he feels Dean jerk against his chest. In the following breath, Dean whimpers, “No. Stop. P-please.”

Castiel’s heart aches deep within his chest; this is the second night in a row, and considering the date, it’s not hard to figure out exactly what’s going on. Flashbacks to when Dean had nightmares like this every night after what Arthur did to him a year ago come unbidden to his mind, and he pushes them away forcefully to concentrate on the here and now.

Having been on the receiving end of a backhand more than once from waking Dean during a nightmare, he’s fully aware that Dean could react physically before he’s fully conscious. So he gently wraps his arms around him so he can’t lash out, and says his name gently. “Dean, sweetheart, wake up.”

“No!” Dean gasps, louder this time, his body tensing against Castiel’s arms.

He kisses the top of his head and runs his hand up his back, hoping the familiar touch will soothe him. “Dean, wake up. It’s just a bad dream,” he says, more firmly now. Nothing.  _“Dean,”_ he says, louder this time.

Dean wakes with a gasp, pushing away from Castiel, and rolling onto his back where he covers his face with his arm and takes deep, shuddering breaths trying to calm himself.

“Shit. Sorry, Cas,” Dean rasps, his voice rough with the fear he’s trying to hide.

“Don’t be sorry,” Castiel says quietly. “May I hold you?”

Dean answers by turning back to face him, and Castiel takes him in his arms and hooks his chin over his head, tucking him in as close to his body as he can.

“Second night in a row,” Dean comments flatly.

“We talked about this before the move. You said you felt okay, and you weren’t having nightmares back then,” Castiel reminds him gently. “What happened?”

“I dunno,” Dean whispers. “I - I think maybe we were so busy packing and moving around the actual anniversary that I didn’t have time to think about it.”

Sympathy pain for the man he loves twists unpleasantly inside of him. “And now you do? And you’re thinking about it again?”

“I don’t want to,” Dean answers, his voice still coming out in a low whisper. “I just can’t help it sometimes. I think about it, and it feels like I’m right back there and it’s happening all over again.”

“You know you’re safe though, right? We had Charlie look into it, and he’s still locked up with absolutely no chance of getting out early, thanks to his behavior.”

Dean nods. “I know. It’s just... it’s the same as before. Well, after, you know?”

The illogical fear, the paranoia, the mood swings from lack of sleep. Yes, he knows; he probably remembers far better than Dean does. “What can I do to help?”

“You always help. Just bein’ here so I don’t gotta do any of this alone.”

“You will never be alone,” Castiel promises, kissing the top of his head. “Do you want to talk about your dream?”

Dean lets out another shuddering breath. “Same as usual. Bein’ held down while I get the shit kicked outta me. And Claire...” He lets his voice trail off.

Castiel exhales himself. He can’t imagine dreaming about something like that.

“I - I hate thinkin’ that if she was with me, I wouldn’t have - I wouldn’t have been able to keep her safe,” Dean admits. His voice cracks several times, and Castiel pulls him in even closer, as if he can keep him from falling apart if he just holds him close enough.

“You would have,” Castiel insists. “There are all kinds of stories about parents having these impossible surges of strength in order to protect their children. There’s no doubt in my mind you would’ve done whatever it took to keep her safe, Dean.” A strangled sob escapes Dean and Castiel shushes him gently. “And she  _wasn’t_ there,” he reminds him. “It’s over now, and she wasn’t there. Nothing like that is ever going to happen again.”

“I just - I don’t want to keep feelin’ like this. Is it gonna be like this every year? Keeping you awake, freaking out over something that’s in the past for the rest of my life? I feel - weak, I guess - and I hate it.”

“I don’t know if it’s going to happen every year. I know it’s going to be on our minds for a while yet. It was traumatizing for all of us, Dean, and it doesn’t make you weak to think about it,” he assures him.

Dean snuggles in impossibly closer. “I almost lost you.”

Castiel’s heart breaks at the reminder. “But you didn’t. We’re together, and stronger than ever. Look at what we have now,” Castiel says, nudging him to look up at the stars. “Think of everything you gave us in just a year.”

 _“You_ gave  _me,”_ Dean disagrees, bringing a soft smile to Castiel’s lips. He’s not feeling so down on himself that he doesn’t want to argue about that, and that’s a good sign as far as he’s concerned.

“This time next year we’ll be married,” Castiel says, knowing that’s likely to cheer him up.

“Mmm,” Dean hums happily, his entire body relaxing in his arms. “Hopefully still in the honeymoon phase.”

Castiel huffs out a laugh. “I say married, you think honeymoon.”

“You said we’d go away somewhere. I predict a whole lotta really great sex. Can’t blame me for looking forward to it.”

“Not at all, I just think it’s humorous how much you’ve already talked about it.” But Dean doesn’t sound upset anymore, and his body isn’t wound tight against him, so he’s happy to use the distraction. He feels more like Dean usually does in his arms, and if talking about three days of sex makes him feel better, he’ll indulge him in a heartbeat.

“You know how much I like morning sex,” Dean says, not so subtly rubbing himself against Castiel’s leg.

“Don’t even think about it,” Castiel says lightly. “Your breath is horrible.”

Dean chuckles and props himself up on his elbow, grinning down at him. “Sucks to be you, you’re stuck with me now,” he declares before leaning down to kiss him anyway - thankfully, chastely. Seeing the smile on Dean’s face after he was so upset only a few minutes ago, is enough to have him leaning in for another kiss, despite the terrible morning breath. Dean snuggles back into the curve of his neck afterwards, kissing him there again with a happy sound in his throat, the vibration causing goosebumps to spread across his skin.

Dean yawns hugely and says,  “Thanks, Cas. Love you,” on the end of it.

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

Dean almost always falls asleep first, but this time Castiel lies awake, staring up at the stars while he waits for Dean’s breath to even out. He thinks about how lucky he is to be the one who gets to comfort Dean in the middle of the night, and once Dean’s body goes slack in his arms, he closes his eyes and falls asleep hoping Dean stays this peaceful every night for the rest of their lives.

* * *

 

Months later on another random night in August, Castiel rolls over still half asleep and barely registering the way Dean snuggles in closer and presses a kiss between his shoulder blades before he feels his face smush against his back. Feeling something nagging at him in the back of his mind, he opens his eyes slowly and gasps when he sees two beautiful blue eyes barely a foot away from his face.

“Da uh!” Claire says.

He sits up, still blinking with confusion, and wakes Dean in the process.

“Cas, what’s the - oh,” he says, obviously now seeing Claire standing there in her summer pjs with her bunny tucked under her arm. “Wait. What’s goin’ on?”

“Da uh! Daddy uh!” Claire says again, reaching up for Castiel’s hand.

“How did you get out of your crib?” Castiel asks stupidly.

 _All done_ , Claire signs. “Uh!”

Dean snickers beside him and Castiel turns to pin him with an unamused look before he checks the clock. It’s three in the morning. “No, Claire it’s not time to wake up yet. We need to go back to bed.”

Claire shakes her head vehemently. “No, uh.”

“Nuh-uh,” Dean says quickly, sliding off of his side of the bed and walking over to take Claire by the hand. “Say goodnight to Da, we’re goin’ back to bed.”

“Da peese,” Claire says, reaching up for his hand, too.

Castiel sighs but gets out of bed and takes her hand, both he and Dean walking her back across the hall to her bedroom. Dean hikes her up onto his hip and kisses her quickly before placing her back down inside of her crib.

“You stay in here, okay, blondie?” Dean tells her.

“No,” Claire says, standing up and somehow lifting her upper body to begin pulling a tiny leg up over the bar.

“Hey, stop that,” Dean says, his voice suddenly firm. Claire stops with her leg still up at the bar.

“Uh!” she says stubbornly.

“No,” Dean argues.

“UH!” she says louder.

“Claire, that’s enough,” Castiel interjects. “It is _not_ morning time yet. It’s still dark outside, see?” he says, lifting her pull down blind to show her the darkness.

“Nigh-nigh?” she asks.

“Yes, it’s time for night-night,” he confirms. “Not time to wake up.”

She lowers her leg slowly and peeps up at Dean with the big, sad eyes he knows his fiance has a hard time resisting. “Daddy nigh-nigh?”

“Yeah, both your daddies are goin’ night-night,” Dean tells her. “You have to go back to bed, too, okay?”

She sighs heavily, but lies herself down in her crib, trying and failing to cover herself up with her blanket. Castiel helps her cover up properly and runs his fingers through her curls.

“Stay in here, okay? Claire could get big owies if you fall out of your crib.”

“Flat like a pancake,” Dean adds, smacking his hands together for dramatic effect, and Castiel huffs at the inappropriate comment. “Just givin’ her a visual,” Dean explains.

“Goodnight, Claire Bear,” Castiel says quietly, ignoring Dean.

“Night, blondie,” Dean adds.

“Love you,” they both say together.

They walk out of her room and back across the hall to their bedroom. “You really think telling a two year old that she’ll be flat like a pancake is a good idea at two in the morning?” Castiel asks Dean.

“So what?” Dean asks.

“So if she has nightmares, you’re waking up with her,” Castiel says, climbing back into bed.

“I always wake up with her, Grumpy.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and stays on his side of the bed, purposely facing away from Dean - for all of two seconds until Dean tugs him over to force him to lie on his chest. Dean pushes his hand through his hair, lifting it off his forehead before he kisses it. “You can be grumpy all you want. I think you’re damn cute either way.”

“Go to bed, Dean,” Castiel replies, feeling Dean’s chest shake with laughter.

“Love you, too, hon,” Dean answers lightly.

* * *

 

Castiel is much less surprised than Dean is when he wakes up to the bed shifting in front of him and Claire trying to get under the covers with them two hours later.

“Nigh-nigh, Da,” Claire says happily.

Castiel groans and Dean stirs behind him. “She’s up again,” Castiel says to Dean.

“Wha?” Dean asks, rubbing at his face. He pops his head up behind Castiel and says, “Shit.”

“Bad Daddy,” Claire says seriously.

If Castiel wasn’t drowning in the impending doom of Claire waking them up every hour for the foreseeable future, he would laugh as he usually does when Claire gives Dean trouble for swearing. Instead, he drags a hand down his face and whips the blankets off of him and Claire.

“Claire sleeps in _Claire’s_ bed. Me and Daddy sleep in our bed. Back to your crib,” he says, nudging her along. Dean goes to get out of bed with him but he says, “You can get her next time.” He’s tired and grouchy enough about being woken up a second time that he takes a sick pleasure in Dean’s groan of unhappiness. He scoops Claire up - which is getting a little bit harder every day as she gets bigger and bigger - and carries her into her room.

“Claire, listen. I know it’s fun that you can climb out of your crib now, but it’s dangerous. You could get hurt. You could bump your head, hurt your knee, need a bandaid,” he tells her seriously. Her eyes widen with fear - a scraped knee and a bandaid being the most pain she’s ever experienced in her tiny life - and he nods gravely. “You have to stay in your crib, baby. You call for me and Daddy when you wake up and the sun’s outside, and we’ll come get you just like every other day. Okay?” he asks.

 _Yes_ , she signs with a nod of her head.

“Thank you, Claire.” He lowers into her crib again and says, “Now, goodnight. I don’t want to see you in our room again.”

“Nigh-nigh da.”

“Love you, baby.”

He uses the bathroom before he goes back to bed, and he isn’t at all surprised when Dean’s still laying awake.

“I told her she could fall and need a bandaid,” he divulges. “She looked horrified.”

“Now who’s the one giving nightmares?” Dean says dryly.

“This _is_ a nightmare.”

“At least she’s not barfing,” Dean offers.

Castiel huffs in amusement. “Always the optimist.” He scooches over and opens his arms for Dean, who comes into them as he always does and rests his head on the nook of his shoulder. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Don’t jinx it,” Dean warns him.

* * *

It turns out he doesn’t. Remarkably, Claire sleeps until morning, and even heeds his advice and waits in her crib calling for them when she wakes. Castiel goes to get her while Dean hops in the shower, and as usual, he feeds her breakfast while he starts the coffee. When Dean’s ready for work, they switch out so that Dean gets Claire dressed while he showers and gets dressed. He buckles Claire into her seat in Dean’s car, he and Dean kiss goodbye in the driveway, and they both take off to work.

They’re still on the highway leading into town when Castiel reaches out to turn the air conditioning up, and suddenly the radio and the clock on the dashboard click off. He barely has a second to wonder why on earth that would happen when the speedometer falls to zero although he’s obviously still going just as fast. Without knowing what speed he’s currently going, though, he feels his heart leap into his throat, and he hits his hazard lights and pulls off onto the shoulder.

He’s not at all surprised to see Dean pull off behind him, and he gets out to walk over to him so they can keep Claire in their eyesight.

“You okay?” Dean asks, rushing over to him.

“Yes, Dean, I’m fine,” he responds on a sigh.

“What happened now?” Dean asks, his voice suddenly hard.

Castiel’s car has been having trouble the last couple of months - one thing after another - and so he can definitely appreciate Dean’s comment, though it doesn’t help anything at the moment. “I don’t know what happened, but first the radio went out, then the clock on the dashboard, and then the speedometer stopped working.”

“Explains why you didn’t signal to pull over,” Dean says.

“What? I did. I put my hazard lights on, too.” But as he says that, he looks back at his car and sees there are no lights on at all. “What the hell?”

“Alternator. Bet anything. There goes another couple thousand bucks into this hunk of junk,” Dean says angrily.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I have the money to pay for the repairs -”

“Just get in the car and you can call Benny while I drive you to work,” Dean says angrily, cutting him off and getting back inside his car.

Castiel sighs unhappily. After being woken up twice last night, this is not the day for the two of them to continue the argument that’s undoubtedly coming. He gets in the passenger seat and smiles at Claire’s excited, “Hi Da!”

“Hi, sweetie. Dad needs a ride to work.”

“Again,” Dean says under his breath.

Castiel pulls out his phone and dial’s Benny’s shop, which at this point, is in the top three most recent callers list on his phone pretty much constantly.

“Cas-tee-elle that you again, cher?” Benny asks without preamble.

“Unfortunately, yes. Can you get out to tow my car off of the highway? We were barely five minutes from the house.”

“What’s the matter with it this time?” Benny asks.

“Dean said it’s the alternator,” Castiel explains.

There’s a low whistle. “On a car like yours, that’s going to cost you a pretty penny, Cas-tee-elle. It might be ‘bout time ya start thinking about finding a more reliable vehicle.”

The pointed look he gets from Dean lets him know he overheard the conversation well enough. “I’ll think about it. Just a tow for today, though?”

“Bring it back to our place,” Dean shouts loud enough for Benny to hear.

“Aye aye, chief. Take it easy, buddy.”

“Thank you for your assistance again, Benny.”

He ends the call and resolutely looks out the window, not at all interested in engaging in the argument he knows is coming. Surprisingly, Dean doesn’t say a word, and though the air around him feels awkward and heavy, Dean kisses him softly when he drops him off and says, “I love you,” with so much affection in his eyes Castiel can feel his breath catch.

“I love you too, Dean,” he echoes, though he’s surprised by the heartfelt declaration out of nowhere. “Thank you for driving me to work. Have fun at daycare, Claire.”

“Mah-mah?” Claire asks.

Castiel can’t help but grin. “Yes, you’re going to see Grandma Mary. Give her a kiss for me.”

“Buh-bye da!”

He walks into the library and smiles as Chuck bids him good morning. “Did I hear Dean’s car out there waking up the neighborhood?” Chuck asks him.

“You did. Mine broke down not five minutes from our house,” Castiel says with a sigh.

“Man, that’s - that’s the third time this month, isn’t it?”

“Thanks, Chuck. I hadn’t noticed,” Castiel says irritably, pushing a hand through his hair.

“You know, Clarence, you sound more and more like that boy toy of yours every day,” Meg says, sauntering towards the front desk.

He takes in the sight of the plunging neckline of her dress and sighs loudly. “Meg, you know you can’t wear that around the children.”

She looks down at herself and then back at him with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t see the problem.”

“I’m about to see _your nipple_ ,” he replies dryly.

Chuck chokes behind him but he refuses to back down. “You’re going to either need to put a sweater on or go home and change. And since this is the second time in two weeks we’re having this conversation, if you choose to go home to change, your pay will be docked for the time that requires.”

“You can’t tell me how to dress!” she says, her voice low and cold.

“You’re right, I can’t. I can enforce the dress code though, and your attire is certainly not office appropriate. I won’t ask you again.”

Meg glares at him once more before she stomps away.

“Dude - I don’t think you can say nipple to a woman without it being sexual harassment,” Chuck whispers, his face a remarkable shade of red.

“I’m not harassing her! If anything, she’s attempting to harass _us_ by dressing like that!”

“I - I know. I’m - I’m just saying. Be careful, you know?” Chuck says, hitting him with puppy dog eyes.

Castiel sighs. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. Claire was up twice last night and then the car thing this morning,” he tries to explain.

“No problem, buddy. We all have bad days.”

“I’m going to go put my lunch away and grab another cup of coffee. Want a refill?”

“No, I’m good,” Chuck says.

Castiel walks towards his office to stow his lunch and then heads for the break room. After he’s done making himself his coffee, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket and pulls it out as he walks.

 

 **JESS:** Did you piss in his cornflakes?

 **CASTIEL:** No, but we had a bad night with Claire and my car broke down on the way to work.

 **JESS:** AGAIN?

 

Castiel groans and stuffs his phone back in his pocket without replying. This is not helping.

Thankfully, the morning goes by without incident. He doesn’t hear from Dean at all, which is odd, but considering what Jess said about his attitude, it’s not entirely surprising. What is surprising, is a knock on his door half way through his lunch.

He knows their volunteer only would have sent somebody back who she knows, so he calls out, “Come in,” instead of getting up.

Where he expected to see Dean, it’s actually Sam. “Hey, Cas,” Sam says with a small smile.

“Hello, Sam. We didn’t have plans that I forgot about, did we?”

“Nope. Hope you don’t mind me dropping in?” he checks.

“That depends entirely on why you’re here,” he answers honestly, but he smiles so he know he’s welcome. “Take a seat.”

“Thanks,” Sam says, folding his ridiculously tall frame into the chair gracefully. “So, Dean was in a mood this morning, huh?”

Castiel isn’t at all surprised to hear that Sam is here about Dean. “Claire learned how to climb out of her crib last night,” he says, knowing that will be enough of an explanation for him.

“Oh no,” Sam says on a bit of a laugh. “Did she just try to climb in bed with you guys?”

“No, at first she wanted us to get up. The second time she did, though.”

“Gro Clock.”

“I’m sorry?” he repeats.

“Gro Clock. Google it, order it. It’ll help,” Sam promises.

Castiel still has no idea what he’s talking about, but he nods his head anyway.

“So anyway, I kinda thought I’d swing by and try to be Switzerland over the car thing,” Sam says, finally getting to why he’s here.

“Sam, I appreciate it, I do, but you’re nowhere near Switzerland when it comes to Dean. It will always be you and him against the rest of us,” he says tiredly. He no more wants to have this conversation with Sam than he does with Dean, and honestly, he’s more than a little irritated by the way Sam thinks he can insert himself into their marriage.

“Now you sound like my wife,” Sam says with a huff.

“She’s a very bright woman.”

Sam tuts and tucks his hair behind his ears. “Okay, forget the Switzerland thing and let me just say something I don’t think Dean’s come right out and said yet.”

“Sam -” he says, prepared to talk over him if he needs to.

“He’s going crazy worrying about you!” Sam shouts, also apparently willing to shout over Castiel if needed.

“He - what?” Castiel says, completely surprised by that.

“All month. He’s _constantly_ checking his phone over lunch with this panicky look on his face any time you don’t answer him right away. He gets all jittery and paces his office... a lot. It’s been getting progressively worse, and I was hoping he’d talk to you about it, but I know you wouldn’t still be putting him through this if he had,” Sam says gently.

“I don’t understand.”

“He’s worried about you driving in a car with so many problems. He’s afraid you’re not safe on the road.”

Castiel shakes his head. “Cars are always at risk of something going wrong - not even with my car, but possibly with somebody else’s. It could happen to anybody.”

Sam’s eyes meet his and his mouth turns down into a frown. His voice is patient and kind when he asks, “Dean told you how our dad died, right?”

His stomach sinks at the memory. _Brakes malfunctioned on the car he was driving and he went headfirst into a guardrail and died on impact_. Oh, Dean.

He lets out a muffled sob when he thinks about how worried Dean must be, and buries his face in his hands for a moment to compose himself before he lifts it again to look at Sam. “Why - _why_ wouldn’t he tell me he was worried about that?” He doesn’t ask the question that causes most of the hurt, though. _Why would he tell Sam and not him?_

“I don’t know. I wouldn’t have even known anything about it myself if he didn’t ask mom for a copy of the accident report this morning. Said he wanted to know exactly what went wrong with the brakes. She came right up to see me afterwards - interrupted my yoga class to pull me aside because it was so out of character for him - and she said he looked looked like he had just seen a ghost when he asked about it. Then I went to tell Jess and she told me about the mood Dean was in this morning and what you said about your car breaking down, and it just kinda clicked, you know?”

He lets out a soft sigh of relief. “So he didn’t mention this to you at all?”

“Are you kidding? Dean doesn’t talk about this kind of thing with anybody.”

“He usually does with me,” Castiel says, his voice small. Why didn’t he this time?

“I know from what he’s told me before that he thinks this is another one of your arguments over money. That you’re just too stubborn to take any more money from the family savings account for yourself and that’s why you won’t get anything new.”

He files away how Dean apparently refers to _his_ savings account as _the family savings account_ to think about later. “So he probably didn’t mention it because he doesn’t want me to think he’s trying to guilt me into it,” Castiel finishes for him.

“I mean, if I had to put money on it, then yeah. That’s what I’d guess.”

Castiel shakes his head. “I never would have thought that if he told me.”

“I know,” Sam smiles. “And I _also_ know that there’s nobody more stubborn than my brother, and that it wasn’t even worth trying to get him to tell you about this himself. So here I am.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

Sam gets to his feet. “You’re welcome. And I want this noted for future reference that this time it was Sam and Castiel versus Dean,” he says with a grin.

Castiel chuckles. “It might be the only time this ever happens, so I’ll have to make note of it,” he teases.

“See you later, Cas,” Sam says as he walks out of the room and closes the door behind him.

Castiel lets out a long sigh. He was already leaning towards needing a new vehicle anyway. Regardless of how much he hates taking more of Dean’s money, he knows it’s not logical to continue to spend more and more money on a car that’s barely getting him from Point A to Point B. As Dean has not-so-kindly pointed out over the last few months, if he had listened to Dean’s advice months ago and bought a new used car when he first mentioned it, he would have spent the same amount of money as he has in repairs. And that’s not including however much it’s going to cost him to fix the alternator.

Now knowing that Dean’s worrying about him so much, spending money that doesn’t belong to him seems like the least of his problems. He’d do anything to make Dean happy, and he knows that accepting a new (to him) car that will safely get him around town will alleviate Dean’s fears, and he’s more than willing to do that for the man he loves.

He spends the afternoon making plans for Mary to bring Claire to their place after work so she can sit with her, and while he tells her why (and gets a heart emoji back from her) he asks her not to tell Dean. So it’s no surprise at all when Dean stalks right into the library five minutes before the end of Castiel’s shift instead of waiting in the car as usual.

His fiancé doesn’t wait well.

Castiel is helping a woman find a book for her son’s book report when he hears Chuck say, “H-hi, Dean.”

“Chuck,” Dean replies, and it isn’t hard to pick up on the anger in his voice even from across the library. Apparently Chuck picked up on it too, if his stuttering words is anything to go by (and they usually are).

“Where’s Cas?”

“He’s um, just, um, helping a customer find a book.”

The lady he’s currently with looks up at him. “Is that man here for you?”

“He is, but I still have a few minutes. Don’t worry,” he tells her with a friendly smile. He’s still browsing the bookshelves around them, knowing he’s close to the right section where the book is hiding because of the labels on the spines on the surrounding books. He finally sees the right ones and says, “Here we go, should be right around...”

“Cas?” Dean says, poking his head around the stack he’s in. And yes, all it takes is a single look to see the way his teeth are clenched as tightly as his fists, and when their eyes meet, he can see the anger barely contained inside.

“I’ll be right with you,” Castiel says, as soothingly as he possibly can. “Aha! Here’s what you were looking for, miss.”

“Thank you so much for your help. Andy is going to be home within ten minutes and I know from experience the longer I leave him home alone, the bigger the mess I’m going to come home to,” she explains, taking the book from him.

“I understand completely,” Castiel says with a smile. “Chuck at the front desk will take it from here, okay?”

“Of course. Thank you again,” she says before she scurries off.

Castiel pins Dean with an amused smile as she walks away. “You couldn’t have waited another two minutes?”

“No. Why isn’t Claire coming home with us and what the hell’s going on?”

“Come here, sweetheart,” Castiel says quietly, stepping towards him and pulling him into his arms. Dean comes stiffly at first, but as Castiel gathers him close and nuzzles into his neck, Dean slowly begins to sink into him the way he usually does. He hears him let out a shuddering sigh before Dean hooks his chin over his shoulder, and Castiel kisses him on the bolt of his jaw before backing away. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Dean says, his voice thicker than it usually is. “Now can you tell me what’s going on?”

He grabs Dean’s hand and slots their fingers together while he begins tugging him towards the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Chuck,” Castiel calls out as he walks past the front desk.

“See you later, buddy,” Dean adds, and Castiel smiles to himself at how much friendlier Dean is already without having any more answers now than he had when he walked in a minute ago.

Castiel can hear the smile in Chuck’s voice when he replies, “Bye guys!”

Dean parked right in front of the door - which he must know isn’t allowed considering the big _no parking_ sign - and he gives Castiel a guilty sheepish smile before they both get inside. “Wasn’t exactly thinking straight when I pulled in here,” Dean admits.

“Well, from what I’ve heard from your family, you haven’t been thinking straight for a while,” Castiel tells him.

Dean frowns. “Is that supposed to be a gay joke?”

Castiel chuckles. “No. Although it would have been funny,” he says as an afterthought. “I’m talking about the way you’ve been acting about my car.”

Dean breathes deeply. “I didn’t mean to be a dick about it. I know I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I’ve felt like crap about it all day.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about either. It isn’t exactly news that you have a quick temper,” Castiel says carefully.

“What’re you talking about then?”

“Why did you ask your mom for your dad’s accident report this morning?” Castiel asks in return.

Immediately, Dean turns his head to look out the window. He can see his jaw clench again, and he notices his fingers have tightened on the steering wheel as well. He’s radiating pain, and still, he doesn’t say anything.

Castiel waits him out, but even knowing him as well he does, he’s floored when Dean turns to face him with his eyes brimming with tears. He slides across the bench seat immediately, knowing Dean needs physical contact to soothe him, and he takes Dean’s hand off of the steering wheel to sandwich it between his, bringing it to his mouth to kiss his fingers.

“I’m scared shitless. I - I can’t lose you, too, Cas. And C-Claire. I - _can’t_ ,” Dean chokes out.

“Shhh,” Castiel says quickly, abandoning his hand in favor of grasping his shoulders and tucking him into his arms. Dean’s shoulders are shaking now and he knows the tears are falling, likely much to Dean’s dismay. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay. I’m okay. We’re all okay.”

Dean clings to him as hard as he ever has, and Castiel can do nothing but repeat that he’s safe right now, that nothing bad has happened to him, and rub his back in a comforting gesture until Dean finally cries it out. He goes almost completely slack in his arms when he finally starts taking deep breaths to get himself back together, and Castiel helps him wipe his tears when he pulls away.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Cas,” Dean says, still wiping at his face even though the tears are gone. “Didn’t mean to fall apart like that.”

 _"I'm_ sorry I didn’t notice how this was affecting you.”

“No - it was me. I shoulda said something.”

Castiel leans in to press his lips to Dean’s to comfort him, letting him cling for a moment or two before he breaks the kiss.

“Why didn’t you?”

Dean drops his gaze immediately and takes another breath before he says. “It’s stupid, but I felt like if I said it out loud that - that it would make the possibility more real, you know?”

“It’s a silly thought, but I understand the irrational thought process behind it all the same,” Castiel tells him. “You have to know that if I knew you felt like this -”

“I know,” Dean says, cutting him off. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot. You’re just inherently stubborn, which is something I’ve known for a long time now,” he says with a small smile.

Dean offers him a watery smile in return. “So what - you wanted to get me alone so I didn’t freak out Claire when I started crying harder than she does?”

“Dean,” he admonishes quietly. One day he will get it through his thick skull that crying is not feminine, weak, or childlike. “No. I just didn’t think taking Claire car shopping would be very productive.”

Hope lights up Dean’s eyes and he gets the first real smile from him since his car broke down. “Really?”

“Lead the way, oh wise one.”

This time it’s Dean who pulls him in and crushes their lips together, kissing him fiercely and passionately, somehow managing to relay his relief _and_ his appreciation with a kiss. “Thank you,” he sighs when he pulls away.

Castiel huffs with laughter - his brain is a little murky at the moment - as he slides back over to the passenger seat.

“What kinda car do you want, hon?” Dean asks excitedly, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road.

“You know I know nothing about cars.”

“So how’re you going to pick?”

“Obviously I’m just going to let you tell me what’s a decent car, then I’ll test drive it to make sure I like it,” Castiel says.

“And you’re just gonna let me buy it?”

“I’d like to contribute with my own savings, but yes, you will have to front the majority of the cost,” Castiel says, somewhat unhappily.

“You know, I was thinking. It’s kinda dumb for us to both have our accounts and pay account fees on both of them and have to worry about sending money back and forth all the time anyway,” Dean says, looking at him sideways.

“What are you suggesting?” he asks.

“Why don’t we just get a joint account? We can have both of our paychecks put into the same account, then sit down and talk about how much savings we want to put away each month - into one savings account that we both have access to. Then there’s no _my money_ and _your money_. It’s just _our_ money.”

“I can see how that would be easier, but there’s still things that I feel like I should pay for myself,” Castiel says.

“Like?”

“Like diapers and Claire’s health insurance and speech therapy -”

“Hey,” Dean says, cutting him off immediately. “Is she yours or is she ours?”

“Ours,” Castiel says quickly. “Of course she’s ours, Dean.”

“Then _our_ money can pay for that, right? And it’s not like you’re not contributing. You’re still making the same amount of money, it’s just all goin’ into one pot.”

“This gives you more bills, though. Things you didn’t have to pay for before,” Castiel points out.

“Well, yeah, I’m gaining a family. I’m going from only takin’ care of me to helping taking care of you _and_ Claire.”

“Twice the burden,” Castiel says.

“Excuse me?”

 _"Financial_ burden,” Castiel corrects.

“Yeah, still no. Neither of you are burdens, and if I hear you say that again I’m gonna smack you upside the back of the head.”

Castiel smiles at the empty threat. “I’ll think about it.”

“Better than the flat out no I was expecting,” Dean says happily.

“You asked me even thinking I’d say no?”

“Figured the car thing was going so well I might as well push my luck,” Dean grins.

Castiel takes in the easy set of Dean’s shoulders and how he doesn’t seem to be thinking about where he’s driving. “I notice you seem to have a destination in mind for the car,” Castiel comments.

“Yeah. I’ve been kinda keeping an eye out for used cars optimistically thinking this moment would come,” Dean says, grinning again.

“Uh huh,” Castiel says, not at all surprised. “So what do you have in mind?”

“If you wouldn’t pitch a fit about the price, there’s a mint condition Hyundai Azera that would be perfect for you,” Dean says. “But I know it’s more than you’d wanna spend.”

“How much is it?” he asks.

“Could probably get it for around twenty,” Dean says.

“Twenty _thousand_ dollars? For a used car?” Castiel repeats, absolutely gobsmacked.

“It’s a nice one,” Dean defends.

“Absolutely not,” Castiel says vehemently. “You can buy new cars for that!”

“Yeah, toy cars,” Dean huffs, and Castiel barely suppresses an eye roll.

“To think I considered just letting you go on your own and picking out whatever you wanted,” Castiel says in disbelief.

“Unfortunately for me, you know me too well for that,” Dean smiles.

“Thankfully,” Castiel corrects, earning himself a small laugh from Dean.

“So since I knew you were gonna nix that, how do you feel about a hatchback?”

Castiel shrugs. “Indifferent.”

“I was mostly looking up family cars, you know, since we’re gonna add at least one other little munchkin to the family.” Castiel raises his eyebrows at _at least one more_ coming out of Dean’s mouth for the first time, but Dean just keeps talking. “So we can either look at vans - which I’m telling you now I will never drive as long as I live - that are in your ridiculously low price range, or there’s a nice hatchback at Subaru we can go check out.”

“A Subaru will live up to your standards?” Castiel asks.

“I did a lot of reading, and it sounds like it’ll be alright, yeah.”

Castiel’s amusement drains away to be almost entirely replaced with appreciation for his fiance. The fact that he had been fighting Dean tooth and nail for the last few months, and Dean had just quietly been doing research and checking out ads for used cars anyway so that he’d be prepared when Castiel inevitably came around to his way of thinking is _so Dean_.

“You have no idea how much I appreciate you, Dean.”

Dean shakes his head. “It’s gonna be a long, hard fall from the pedestal you’ve built me up onto.”

Castiel slides his hand onto his knee. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Feeling the need to tell him, he says, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean smiles at him fondly. “I love you, too, hon.”

Two hours later, they have test driven and haggled over the Impreza hatchback, and Dean’s written out a check for more money than he’s ever seen exchanged in a single transaction outside of their home.

Dean’s absolutely beaming when they drive away, and his excitement is infectious. They take off towards Arby’s to grab themselves something quick to eat before they go home to put Claire to bed, but they get a message from Mary saying that Claire fell asleep watching TV. They decide to eat in instead, and Dean brings up another topic Castiel wasn’t at all prepared for.

“So I guess we better start looking into a bed for Claire, huh?” Dean asks around a mouthful of curly fries.

Sure that he didn’t hear him right, Castiel asks him to repeat himself.

“A bed. So she doesn’t fall out of her crib?” Dean clarifies.

Castiel’s eyes go wide with shock as his heart drops right into his stomach. “But - she’s only two -”

“She’ll be three in three months,” Dean points out.

For some reason, hearing Dean say that knocks the air right out of his lungs. _How_ is she almost three? It feels like it was only yesterday when she was still walking around with her hands out trying to keep herself balanced so she didn’t topple over.

“I - I don’t think I’m ready for her to be in a bed,” Castiel says quickly.

Dean lifts his eyebrows while he works on swallowing (most of) his bite. “Whatddya mean _you’re_ not ready for Claire to be in a bed?”

“I don’t want to take her out of her crib yet.”

“Why not?” Dean asks again.

“Because!” Castiel says, louder than he meant to. “Because if we take her out of her crib it’s like we’re saying she’s not a baby anymore.”

Dean’s expression softens, and Castiel feels his foot nudge against his under the table. "Honey, I know she’s still tiny for her age, and the speech thing makes her seem younger than she is. But c’mon. She shouldn’t still be in a crib at three years old, should she?”

Castiel chooses not to say anything.

“And honestly, the possibility of her climbing out of the crib and falling freaks me the fuck out,” Dean adds. “If she fell the wrong way she could really get hurt. She could get her leg stuck, or -”

“Stop,” Castiel says firmly. “I know. _I know,_ okay?” he repeats, cradling his head in his hands.

“I just don’t want her to get hurt,” Dean says softly.

And he knows Dean has a point - again - and a really small part of him hates him for it. Now he knows if he doesn’t go along with this and switch her to a bed and she _does_ fall and hurt herself, he’s going to beat himself up over it.

Dean obviously is thinking better of his suggestion based on Castiel’s reaction, and he starts singing to a different tune. “Listen, we can put a mattress on the floor right under her crib instead if you want?” Dean offers. “That way if she takes a header she’ll fall onto the mattress instead of the floor.”

He considers it for a minute. “What about what you just said about her leg getting stuck?”

“Well, I mean, it’s a possibility. But we’d hear her before she got real stuck I think,” Dean says with uncertainty.

He sighs heavily. “I know I’m being silly about this, but I just - I hate the thought of her growing so quickly. I feel like the time we’ve known each other has absolutely flown, and I don’t want her to be taking off for college the next time I blink,” he says.

Dean smiles gently. “It has gone by fast, but I’m pretty sure you’re gonna notice my hairline receding and my beer belly getting bigger and bigger before Claire takes off for college, hon.” Castiel answers with a half smile, which is all he can drudge up right now. “Besides, we can still do the baby thing. Not like she’s the last chance we’re gonna get at all the stuff you loved about her being so small, you know?”

Castiel smiles wryly at the thought. “The baby stuff was mostly horrible.”

Dean gives him an amused smile in return. “Well at least this time you won’t have to do the horrible stuff all by yourself,” Dean reminds him. “Claire’s always gonna be our first. The kid that made us both dads. Putting her in a bed instead of a crib isn’t gonna change that. She won’t actually be older or bigger just because we change where she sleeps.”

Castiel exhales loudly and slowly and sinks down to rest his head on his arm. “Why do you always have to be so infuriatingly logical?” Castiel grumbles.

Dean chuckles. “Sorry, I forgot you like to wallow.”

“I’m not _wallowing_ ,” he rebuffs. Dean arches an eyebrow and drags his eyes over the way Castiel is currently literally moping on the table. He looks away pointedly but doesn’t sit up. He can wallow if he wants to.

Of course, he feels ridiculous now, so after a minute or two, he sits up and props up his chin with his hand.

“So we need to buy a bed,” Castiel finally says.

“ _I_ think so, but we both gotta be on the same page, right?”

“I just needed a moment. We’re on the same page now,” he admits.

“Should we go look when we’re done here?” Dean asks.

“We can probably just do it online. Not like we have to worry about her trying them out or anything,” he says.

“We can narrow it down and let her pick out which one she likes.”

“And blankets and stuff. She might be more willing to stay in her bed if it has stuff on it she likes,” Dean muses.

“And Sam told me we should buy a Gro Clock,” Castiel remembers.

“What the - oh, wait. Maybe that’s that clock that Bentley has? They set it somehow so that the clock face is blue at night and turns yellow like the sun when it’s time to wake up,” Dean seems to remember.

“That could actually work since showing her it was dark outside made her go back to bed,” Castiel comments. “I really have a feeling she’ll be harder to keep in a bed than her crib.”

“That’s where the fun blankets and stuff come in,” Dean says. “I think it might work. She’s stubborn as hell -”

“I wonder where she gets that from?” Castiel teases.

“Oh yeah, like she wasn’t already trying to out stubborn me when she was one,” Dean replies sarcastically. “Anyway. What I was saying is that she’s stubborn, but easily persuaded.”

“She’s easily bribed, is what you’re trying to say.”

Dean shrugs. “Maybe she got _that_ from me,” he says with an eyebrow waggle.

Castiel shakes his head with a fond sigh. It’s an ongoing joke between the two of them that Dean will do just about anything for a rimjob. Of course, he can relate since he feels the same way about the way Dean gives blow jobs. Either way, he gets an orgasm out of it, so it’s a win-win as far as he’s concerned.

“This is going to be an expensive week,” Castiel says, hoping to steer the conversation more towards appropriate Arby’s talk.

“A bed won’t be that much,” Dean disagrees.

“We have the deposit for the table and chair rental due at the end of the week, too,” Castiel reminds him.

“Yeah, but that was all earmarked a while ago. You don’t have to worry about money anymore, okay?” Castiel nods. Another familiar conversation. “We got this.”

He doesn’t correct the _we_ to _you_ like he wants to. “Thank you, Dean.”

Once they’ve both finished eating, Dean throws their garbage away and they walk back to the Impala hand in hand. Dean grabs him once they get there and traps him against the side of the car. Castiel’s heart starts racing, already anticipating Dean doing something inappropriate in public that’s undoubtedly going to turn him on, but instead Dean just stares into his eyes.

“I know it’s still hard for you to spend what you think of as my money, and I just wanna say thank you for letting me take care of you and Claire.” Dean swallows and licks his lips, and he knows he’s not done. Castiel rests his hands on Dean’s hips, and when Dean makes eye contact again he says, “I know it’s a stupid stereotypical guy thing, but it makes me feel like I’m doing somethin’ good when I can provide for you guys.”

“Hmm,” he replies, tilting his head to the side and looking up at Dean through his eyelashes. “If you’re the stereotypical male, what does that make me?”

“The woman, obviously,” Dean says, clearly joking. “You’re even the one with the kid.”

“I guess that means it’s your turn to fuck me tonight,” Castiel says quietly.

Dean’s smile transforms into something almost predatory before he leans in and catches his lips in a brief but dirty kiss, even going so far as to tug on his bottom lip before he pulls away. “Been a while. You’re not too tired?”

“Guess we’ll have to see when we get home,” Castiel replies, grinning playfully.

Dean bounces his eyebrows once more before he turns to walk away, which is when Castiel slaps his bottom and gets an exasperated sigh from his fiancé.

They drive home holding hands, and once they thank Mary, and Dean gloats about buying him a new car, Castiel allows himself to be pushed down the hallway towards their bedroom as Dean’s mouth trails like fire along his neck.

It’s been quite some time since he’s bottomed, and he’s looking forward to the way he knows Dean’s going to turn him into a writhing mess. It’s so rare for Dean to take control in the bedroom that it excites him whenever it happens. He allows Dean to pull his shirt up over his head and push him against the wall inside their bedroom, and his head falls back in pleasure while Dean ravishes his collarbone and chest with his mouth open and hot. He scrambles for the hem of Dean’s t-shirt and tugs it up and off, and now he can watch the ripple of his muscular shoulders when Dean’s mouth moves down his torso and latches onto his hip bones.

Dean rubs over Castiel’s erection, already dragging a low moan from between his lips.

“Somebody’s eager,” Dean chuckles, getting to his feet. He takes Castiel’s lips in a brutal kiss before he spins him around and starts walking him towards their bed. “Gonna make you feel so good, Cas,” he says against his lips. “Grab a towel.”

Castiel gulps in air greedily as he turns to grab a towel from beside the bed and the lube from the nightstand, then positions himself on his back across the bed, with his ass hanging off the side.

Dean nods in approval as he situates himself between the vee of his legs, urging Castiel to wrap his legs around his waist. He already feels Dean’s cock pressing hard against his ass through their pants and bites down on his bottom lip.

“Shit, Cas, you want this so bad.” Dean doesn’t waste anymore time and his fingers start opening Castiel’s fly and dragging down his pants and his boxers all in one go. “Fuck, look at you rock hard for me already.”

Castiel reaches up to stroke his cock lazily as Dean continues to strip his pants off of his legs and over his feet. He lets his eyes drift across Dean’s jeans slung low around his hips, his wide shoulders, his dusky nipples already hard and begging for his mouth, and the hickeys that are just beginning to fade on his chest. He’ll have to fix that tonight.

“You look so hot, baby,” Dean praises him, reaching down to haul him up for another kiss. “Turn over for me.”

Castiel is half way over when he hears a high-pitched, “Hi Daddy!” and his blood runs cold.

Dean yelps in surprise and rips the towel out from under Castiel to cover him up, mumbling under his breath, “Son of a bitch.”

Claire tries to climb up onto their bed, which has Dean scrambling to grab her while Castiel pulls the comforter over the rest of his body. Claire’s seen him naked plenty of times, but never when he’s in this condition, and that’s something he sincerely hopes doesn’t ever change.

“Daddy bah?” Claire asks, running her tiny hands on Dean’s bare arms.

Castiel lets out a hysterical little giggle from where he is now safely hidden under the blankets as Dean answers gruffly, “No, Daddy’s not havin’ a bath. Let’s go get you back in bed, you little cockblock.”

“Dean!” Castiel chastises him, but he isn’t really mad. He _will be_ if she repeats that, though.

He flops back onto the bed fully as he hears Dean and Claire talking in her bedroom. _Son of a bitch_ covers how he’s feeling at the moment, too. They’ve been interrupted a time or two by a cry, but in those circumstances, they at least had a few seconds to get decent before they rushed into her room to see her.

Claire literally walking in on him rolling ass up for Dean is _mortifying_. Thankfully Dean still had his pants on - or even worse, she could have walked in them when Dean was balls deep inside of him - because he can’t even imagine what they would have done to get decent before dealing with her in that case.

Dean comes into the bedroom a few minutes later with a look of horror written all over his face. “That was - that was _so bad_ , Cas.” Again, for some reason he doesn’t even understand, he laughs, and he covers his mouth with his hand to try to hold it in. “How is this funny to you? I don’t know if my dick’s ever going to recover. It’s so shriveled up right now it’s basically an innie.”

This time laughter bursts out of him and Dean even chuckles a little bit when he plops onto the bed beside him. “I can’t even believe that just happened. What if she came in when we were mid-fuck? I never would’ve heard her in time to cover us up.”

“We clearly need to lock the door when we’re being intimate,” Castiel replies.

Dean nods, rolling onto his side and propping his head up on his hand. “Just seems weird, you know? What’s she gonna do if she wakes up and our door is locked?”

“Hopefully knock,” Castiel offers.

“Fuck,” Dean sighs heavily. “And there goes messing around in the living room. She could just walk in any time,” he complains. Dean turns towards him, and Castiel can see the moment his mind veers towards sex again as his eyes take in Castiel’s body. “You’re still all flushed with your hair wild like you’re waiting for me to fuck you. Why you gotta be so hot, Cas?”

Castiel grabs Dean’s hand and pushes it down his body to where his erection hasn’t entirely flagged, a moan slipping out of him when Dean strokes him back to hardness in seconds. “Too bad you still have that shriveled up problem,” he says, leaning over to lick and suck at that sensitive spot behind his ear. “Because I _am_ still waiting for you to fuck me.”

“Turns out it just -” his breath catches when Castiel pulls his earlobe between his teeth “- needed the right inspiration.”

“Go lock the door and get back here, then,” Castiel prompts him, rolling back onto his stomach and pulling the blankets off of him to present his ass.

“She can burn the house down for all I care,” Dean says under his breath as he hurries across the room. Castiel’s surprised laugh turns to a groan when Dean’s rough palms squeeze his ass before he spreads his cheeks and licks a wet stripe across his hole...  and just like that, all thoughts of Claire go flying from his mind.

Dean opens him up with his mouth and his fingers, dragging it out much longer than Castiel would like. When he’s easily taking three fingers Dean finally slicks himself up, and with Castiel still bent over the side of the bed, he pushes inside of him in one smooth stroke.

“Jesus fuck,” Dean rasps, grinding into him while he waits for him to get used to the stretch. Castiel can feel his hands roaming over his back, and once he gives the okay, his hands move up to his shoulders. Dean starts fucking into him, slowly at first but quickly picking up the pace, and soon he’s pulling him back by his shoulders to meet him for each thrust.

His cock is getting exquisite friction from the towel underneath him as Dean’s powerful thrusts rock him into the bed. Dean’s gasping and groaning behind him already, and he knows it’s been too long for him to last when he’s fucking him hard and fast like this.

“Gonna come inside of me, Dean?” he asks him.

“Fuck yeah,” Dean exhales. “I’m - ah - already close.”

“Keep going,” Castiel tells him.

“Imma suck you off so good after I fill you up, baby,” Dean promises him, his voice tight.

Arousal shoots through him just from hearing Dean talk like that, and true to his word, it’s only another minute or so before Dean’s hips lose their rhythm and he feels warmth spill into him when Dean finds his release.

Dean collapses forwards and kisses his neck and behind his ear until he’s got his legs under him again, and then Castiel is rolled over onto his back and tugged so that his feet hit the floor. Dean falls to his knees in front of him, drags Castiel’s hands to his head, and moistens his lips in invitation. Castiel teases them both by running his weeping cock along those plush lips of his, biting down own his own lip when he sees the wet trail of his precome glistening on Dean’s mouth. Dean’s tongue darts out to lick it up with his eyes dark and a beautiful flush on his cheeks, and Castiel can’t resist another moment. He forces his cock between those luscious lips of his and is instantly enveloped in the moist heat he loves so much.

Dean applies suction right off the bat, and when Castiel pulls him in by the back of his head while he thrusts his cock into his throat, he already knows his orgasm is going to be powerful. Dean’s lips stretched thin around his cock is just as beautiful as it was the first time he saw it, and when he moans needily around him, Castiel can feel his balls draw up closer to his body.

“God, Dean, your mouth. So fucking sexy, Dean. _Fuck.”_

He can feel Dean’s tongue pressing up against the underside of his cock, his mouth a tight seal around him, and when Dean runs his hand up the inside of his leg and finds his own cum running down it, he groans again.

He pushes Castiel back against the bed, forces his legs open, and Castiel - knowing exactly what he’s trying to do - lifts one leg up to rest on the bed frame and braces himself on one hand. Dean moans again before he shoves two fingers inside of him and immediately hits his prostate. Castiel bucks forward, his head thrown back, as Dean forces his cock down his throat and _swallows_ around him while his fingers nail his prostate again and again.

“Oh fuck,” Castiel gasps. _“Dean._ Fuck, I’m gonna -”

Dean pulls off to tongue at his head, giving him a single moment of reprieve before he sinks right back down and swallows him in one go, and Castiel groans as he empties himself into Dean’s waiting mouth. He grabs him by the back of the head and holds him in place so he can cum down his throat. He can feel his cum pulsing out of him with wave after wave as Dean swallows his load, and when Dean taps his leg he releases him so Dean can pull off. Dean gasps for air desperately, but replaces his mouth with his hand, and the last few thick globs of cum land on Dean’s cheek and chin. The sight of his release sliding down Dean’s unbelievably gorgeous face is enough to force another dribble of cum out of the tip of his cock, which Dean dives on to lap up without a thought, and Castiel can barely keep his feet under him while he crumples forwards with the force of his orgasm leaving him completely wiped out.

Dean catches him with a laugh, and pushes him back so he lands on the bed. Dean tugs the towel out from under him with some difficulty to wipe his face before he cleans Castiel up between his legs, and then he crawls onto the bed and collapses onto Castiel’s chest. He _just_ has enough energy left to wrap an arm around him and kiss his sweaty forehead.

“Damn. That was good,” Dean comments.

“Solid nine out of ten,” Castiel agrees, looking up at the stars.

“Fuck you. You couldn’t even stand up after I sucked your brains out. I get a ten for that.”

“You only get a ten when I come first,” Castiel insists, and Dean laughs.

“You’re a selfish son of a bitch, you know that?”

“You love me,” Castiel says easily.

“Hell yeah, I do.”

“When I can walk, I have to do laundry,” Castiel says, suddenly remembering.

“Yeah, I noticed the dishwasher’s almost full, and mom must not have known to empty the sand outta Claire’s shoes before she came inside because there was sand everywhere by the front door.”

“I’ll wash the laundry, sweep, _and_ put the laundry away if you fold it.”

“Deal,” Dean says instantly.

Castiel slaps his ass and says, “Let’s go before we fall asleep and fail at adulting.”

“If it weren’t for all the sex, adulting would blow,” Dean comments.

Castiel watches Dean’s naked body as he looks around for something to wear and silently disagrees. He doesn’t have to do everything himself anymore - he has Dean to help share the not-so-fun parts of being an adult now - so he has nothing to complain about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm aiming for a bi-weekly updating schedule right now, and that won't change until the entire story is finished. Thank you for being patient with me :)


	10. Chapter 10

Castiel places Claire on the ground at the end of the driveway and says, “Go on. Go get Grandma Mary. Dad’s right behind you.”

“Mah-mah!” Claire squeals happily, taking off at a dead run down the driveway and towards the front door.

“You’d think she’d get tired of seeing her every day, but nope,” Dean says, coming up behind him.

“I think she gets excited to come here on the weekends because Mary turns into a doting grandmother instead of a caregiver.”

Dean just side eyes him with a bewildered smile. ”As if you think Claire doesn’t get special treatment at daycare from Ma. It’s like you’ve never even _met her.”_

Castiel smiles at the ribbing and takes Dean’s hand in his as they walk behind Claire towards the house. His eyes fall on her small frame and he smiles, bemused at the sight.

“She looks so much tinier without her diaper, doesn’t she?” Dean asks.

Castiel grins, as he was just thinking the same thing. Her butt is almost non-existent without the usual diaper to bulk it up. “She really does. Half of her pants don’t even fit anymore.”

Potty training has been so much easier than he ever dreamed. They explained to Claire that she would pee and poop in the toilet now and not in her diaper... and she just did. They had been concerned about her not being able to tell them she had to go, but after talking to Caroline about it, they made the bathroom accessible at all times so Claire could go without having to say anything, and it had worked like a charm.

She had even surprised them all by starting to say, “Pee!” and there hasn’t been a single daytime accident at home or at daycare. She still wears diapers overnight, but combined with the potty training and Claire now sleeping in a bed instead of a crib, their little girl is really growing up.

He’s still torn somewhere between loving it and hating it.

Mary opens the door to Claire banging on it, and _just_ catches her before she falls forwards.

“Hello, princess!” Mary coos at her. “Look at my pretty girl! Did you miss me, sweetie? Grandma missed you!”

“You see how quickly I’ve been replaced?” Dean says to Castiel. “Not even a hello to the only good looking son she has.”

“Oh hush, you’ve had almost thirty years of praise from me, it’s time to share some.” Dean opens his mouth to complain, and Mary silences him with a single finger. “And don’t even try to tell me Castiel doesn’t tell you how handsome you are every day.”

“And twice on Sundays, handsome,” Castiel teases, leaning in to press a smacking kiss on his cheek.

“Claire! Claire, come on! Come inside and see my track!” Bentley shouts, his arms already reaching up for her as he comes running to the door.

He must have been excited for Claire to come over today, because he still has his jacket on and it’s not exactly cold inside in September.

“Hey!” Dean says sharply. “What am I, chopped liver around here?”

“What’s liver?” Bentley asks, frowning.

“It’s an organ, honey. Inside your body, right there,” Mary says, poking him.

“Why would Uncle Dean be an organ?” Bentley asks.

“Oh never mind and get outta here, you little monster,” Dean tells him.

Claire wiggles out of Mary’s arms and takes off after Bentley with a familiar pattering of feet down the hall. He smiles at the sound, and Mary catches his eye. “It’s a good sound, isn’t it?”

“The best,” Castiel agrees.

“I can’t wait for a herd of ‘em,” Dean sighs wistfully. Mary arches a brow in Castiel’s direction.

Castiel shrugs halfheartedly, used to comments like these from Dean recently. “Your son has baby fever.”

“I do not!” Dean defends.

“You do too! You mention a second little Winchester at least once a day,” Castiel tells him. “And lately you’ve been talking about a houseful.”

“Music to my ears,” Mary beams, leading them into the living room.

“Our house only has four bedrooms,” Castiel reminds them both.

“Kids can share,” Dean says easily.

Castiel shakes his head. “I’m taking it all with a grain of salt until he’s gone through the baby days.”

“Dean was the baby whisperer with Bentley,” Sam says, joining the conversation as they walk into the living room. “So I wouldn’t hold my breath about him changing his mind anytime soon if I were you.”

“And think about how cute he’d be with a little baby sleeping on that strapping chest,” Jess says with a smirk.

The thought instantly melts his heart, and he frowns at her for it. “Why are you all on Team Dean?” Castiel asks, flopping onto Mary’s couch.

“Honestly, Cas, I’m kinda surprised _you’re_ not on Team Dean,” Sam says. “You’re great with Claire. I thought for sure you’d want more kids.” 

“I do,” he says quickly. “Or one more, at least. Just not immediately.” He takes Dean’s hand as Dean sits beside him. “We’ve had a lot of big changes in our lives in the last year and a half, and we still have a wedding coming. I don’t want to overwhelm Claire or us. And besides, it might be selfish, but I enjoy the time Dean and I have to ourselves right now, and I’m not as eager to lose that as he seems to be.”

“Bentley, come here for a second, bud,” Jess says, calling him over.

“I’m not _eager_ to lose time with you,” Dean disagrees with Cas. “I just don’t think a baby’s going to take up every minute of our day like you do.” 

Castiel exchanges a fond smile with Jess, then Jess glances over to exchange a smile with Sam that has Castiel tilting his head with curiosity. Before he can ask about it, Sam says, “Well, maybe we can help feed the baby craving for now, then.” Jess unzips Bentley’s jacket, and when he turns around again, his little shoulders are puffed up with pride and he has a huge smile on his face.

Castiel’s eyes drop down to his t-shirt, where the words, _World’s Best Big Bro_ are written in capital letters.

Castiel’s free hand comes up to cover his mouth, and Dean says, “Holy shit!” beside him.

Mary downright squeals, “JESSICA!” and runs over to her to pull her up out of her seat and into a big hug.

Dean hops up next, and Castiel also gets to his feet, and then Dean’s hugging Sam and slapping him on the back. “Can’t believe she let you close enough to knock her up again man,” Dean grins. “You are one lucky son of a bitch.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Sam complains, giving him a little shove.

Castiel goes in for his own hug next. “Congratulations, Sam.”

“You ready to be an uncle again?” Sam asks him with a huge smile on his face.

“Absolutely! I look forward to being there from the beginning this time,” he answers. Then he looks at Jessica. “I don’t know how I didn’t see it before. You’re absolutely glowing.”

“That’s because my face gets all greasy when I’m pregnant, but whatever, I’ll take it,” she says with a laugh, taking the initiative to pull him in for a hug of his own when he hesitates.

“Congratulations,” he says again, squeezing her gently. “I’m so happy for you both.”

“So how far along are you? When are you due?” Mary asks all in a rush.

“I’m ten weeks today, which puts my due date at the 5th of May.”

 _“Ten weeks!”_ Mary exclaims. “I cannot believe you two kept this a secret this long!” 

“We actually just found out last week,” Sam admits, laughing.

“Was this in the cards, or a happy surprise?” Dean asks.

“A little bit of both,” Sam answers.

“Well, I’m freakin’ thrilled to have another niece or nephew. How’re you feelin’ about being a big brother Bentley?”

“Pretty good. ‘Cept mom says I’m gonna have to share my toys,” he says with a sigh.

“Yeah, but you still have lots of time before that happens. The baby’s gonna be a human blob for the first couple months anyways, and by then, you’ll love the baby so much you won’t even mind sharing.” Bentley gives him a doubtful look, so Dean adds, “Besides, you’re great at sharing toys, buddy. You share with Claire all the time.”

“Can Claire be my sister?” Bentley asks excitedly.

“Not exactly how it works,” Dean says with a laugh. “But you get to be cousins, and that’s pretty cool.”

“Claire’s my _cousin?_ ”

“You bet.”

“That’s so cool! Claire! Claire, did you know we’re cousins?” Bentley asks her.

“Beewee!” she answers happily, wrapping her arms around his waist for a hug.

Bentley looks way too much like Dean when he huffs and rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t push her away or anything.

Castiel is smiling when he says, “You’re going to be a great big brother, Bentley. Congratulations.”

“Thanks, Uncle Cas.”

 _Uncle Cas_. There’s something he’s not going to get used to hearing for a really long time. He doesn’t even remember the first time he heard it, which is a shame looking back. It just became Uncle Dean and Uncle Cas somewhere along the way. More proof that he’s part of a family for the first time in years.

While Mary, Jess, and Sam keep talking about how Jess found out she was pregnant and the dating ultrasound she’s already had, they all take their seats again and Castiel snuggles into Dean’s side. Dean lifts his arm to put it around his shoulder and Castiel slides his own arm around Dean’s stomach and gives him a little squeeze.

“You okay?” Dean asks quietly.

“I’m good. Really good.”

Dean drops a quick kiss on his forehead and then laughs at something Jess said, and Castiel knows there’s nowhere in the world he’d rather be.

* * *

 

They’re tidying up in the kitchen back at home later that night when Dean asks, “You ever get jealous of straight couples?”

“All the time,” Castiel answers honestly.

“Like, obviously I love you and love our family. But it’s kinda dumb that neither of us can get pregnant just because we’re guys.”

Castiel smiles adoringly at his fiancé. “That might be one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard you say, and yet I still agree with you.”

Dean unloads the dishwasher as Castiel works on packing them both lunches from the leftover roast beef Mary made. “I’d totally let you knock me up to have another baby if we could.”

Castiel snorts with amusement. “I suppose I appreciate the sentiment?”

Dean shrugs and grins. “I’m just sayin’. I kinda hate that I can’t give that to you like a woman could.”

Dean looks away when he says that last thing, and he knows now that that’s the root of his thoughts. “I would never be with anybody who could. It’s not something only you lack, my love.”

“I know, but it’s still dumb. It’s stupid that I don’t get to carry our baby just because I’m not a chick. Somebody else is gonna get to do that for us because I can’t.“

Castiel puts two roast beef sandwiches into Tupperware containers and turns his full attention to Dean. “That bothers you.”

“Well, yeah. Didn’t it bother you when you had a surrogate for Claire?”

Castiel thinks back, but doesn’t recall ever feeling that way. “No. I don’t remember feeling that at all. I was so thankful that somebody was willing to lend us her body so I could have a child of my own, I never thought about anything else.”

“What about when the baby started kicking and stuff? Didn’t it bug you that you didn’t get to be around for that?”

“No,” Castiel says simply.

“Well, I don’t like it,” Dean admits quietly. “When we have a baby, I wanna be there for all of it. I wanna feel the first kick and go to all the ultrasounds, and it’s dumb as fuck that I won’t get to just because I’m gay.”

Castiel’s heart breaks over knowing there’s something out there that Dean wants that he may not be able to provide. “Maybe we can find a surrogate that would be willing to share those things with us?” Castiel suggests. “I don’t remember ever asking before, but maybe there are different types of surrogacy like there are for adoption.”

“Like an open surrogacy? Is that a thing?”

“I’m honestly not sure. But we could look into it,” Castiel answers.

“How weird would it be to ask somebody we know?” Dean asks.

“To carry a baby for us?” Dean nods and Castiel’s eyes go wide as he blows out a slow breath of air. “I’ve never even thought of it. Who would you ask?”

“Charlie’s said stuff before about helping me out, but it was a long time ago when I couldn't even keep a boyfriend. I don’t know if she really meant it or not.”

Castiel feels something like jealousy clench inside his stomach thinking about Dean and Charlie sharing that. “You know I love Charlie, but I’m not as close with her as you are. And that would mean you and her were having a baby together, and I think I’d feel -”

“Left out?”

“I was thinking jealous, but yes, left out works as well,” he answers.

“You don’t gotta be jealous of anybody. It’s always me and you against the world no matter what,” Dean reassures him. “And it doesn’t have to me and her. Could be you and her.”

“No, I’d want you to experience having your own child, too.”

“I already have my own child,” Dean insists. “And listen, I have no idea how this shit works. But could it be like, a random donor’s egg and Charlie would just carry it? Would that make you feel better?”

His initial feeling is yes, but he doesn’t want to give Dean hope over something that he may end up not being okay with in the long run. “I’m not sure. I think I have to think about it.”

“That’s fair. Not like we’d ask her today or anything anyway, right?” Dean asks.

“Definitely not today. We’d have to talk to a lawyer and figure out what the laws are about this kind of thing, too. Draw up a contract to protect us and our baby, and also stipulate what kind of expenses we’d take care of. It would a lot to think about.”

Dean nods, and goes silent as he’s likely lost in thought. He leaves him for a minute or two and then asks, “I know you’ve been talking about babies a lot, and I think it’s sweet how badly you want that. But we don’t have to do it right away, do we?”

“No, not right away, but I don’t really wanna wait all that long,” Dean confesses.

“In your perfect world, when would we start looking into it?”

“I dunno. Takes almost a year for a baby to cook, so maybe after we get married?”

Castiel nods. “I was thinking a year of marriage before we started the process of adding another baby.”

“I could live with that,” Dean says.

“And we could easily discuss it and start looking into it sooner if we changed our minds. You’d obviously rather use a surrogate than adopt?”

Dean nods. “Yeah. I know it doesn’t really matter, but if I get a choice, I’d want one of us to be the biological parent.”

“I feel the same,” Castiel agrees. He finishes packing their lunches with a banana for each of them, pretzels, and a couple of cookies Dean made earlier in the week.

“Wanna go sit outside for a bit?” Dean asks, closing the dishwasher. “There’s a beer calling my name.”

“I’m still too full for a drink, but I’ll sit with you if you want.”

“I’ll grab my guitar,” Dean says, going to get it from their bedroom.

So a few minutes later, Castiel is reclined in their chaise watching the trees in their backyard move in the wind while Dean strums his guitar sitting by his feet. He plays their song, _Start of Something Good_ , and hums along to the music, locking eyes with him and making him feel like he’s the luckiest man on earth. He could watch and listen to Dean play guitar all day long, and he’s both incredibly happy and incredibly peaceful right now.

Everything in their lives is going so well, and they’ve had such a smooth transition to their house that life feels easy. His relationship with Dean is as strong as it’s ever been, and he feels absolutely fulfilled in every way. Claire’s getting to be more independent, no longer needing constant supervision, and maybe it’s the right time to make another one of Dean’s dreams come true.

“What do you think about us getting a dog?”

Dean stops mid-chord, and his face lights up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Really?”

Castiel can’t _not_ smile back with Dean looking at him like this. “You told me a long time ago you wanted one. A house with a big yard and a dog.”

“Yeah, but _do you_ want a dog?” Dean asks, going back to strumming the guitar.

“As long as I don’t have to pick up dog shit, I’m indifferent.”

Dean frowns. “Forgot about that part.”

“I figured it might be worth mentioning,” he says with a small laugh. “I’d be willing to take turns walking it and feeding it, but I don’t want all of the responsibility to fall on me.”

“A little extra cardio wouldn’t kill me,” Dean comments. “Probably be better than running on the treadmill inside, too.”

“It can be Claire’s responsibly when she’s older, but that won’t be for a couple of years. We’ve just settled in here really well, and other than the little bit of extra work because of the wedding coming up, everything’s calm and easy right now. If you still want a dog, the timing seems right to me, so it’s something to think about.”

Dean keeps playing a little while longer, then he muses, “We could get one of those invisible fences for out here.”

Castiel nods his agreement. That would be much easier than building a fence.

A minute later Dean lets out a little laugh. “Imagine Claire with a dog. Bein’ all bossy and trying to tell it to sit. Chasing it around the yard.”

“She’d laugh her little head off,” Castiel agrees, and Dean nods while he looks off into the yard with a soft smile on his face.

And even if Dean hasn’t come out and said so yet, Castiel knows in that moment that they’re getting a dog.

* * *

 

Dean lasted less than a week. It was four days later on Thursday night when he said, “So do you wanna go check out the local pound and see if they have any dogs up for adoption?”

Castiel leaned over to kiss him briefly before he told him, “I already made us an appointment for Saturday afternoon.”

Now it’s Saturday, and they just pulled into the parking lot of the local humane society.

“Dog?” Claire asks from the back seat.

“Yeah, sweetie, we’re going to get a dog,” Castiel answers.

“Mine dog?” Claire asks.

“Yep, as long as we can all find one we all like,” Dean replies.

Dean gets out from behind the wheel and gets Claire out of her car seat. When Castiel looks over she is literally bouncing in his arms, and Dean’s smile is just as big as hers.

“Remember our deal. No matter what happens in there, _one dog_ and one dog only,” Castiel reminds him sternly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean waves away. “Let’s go get us a dog, blondie.”

“Dog!” Claire says again excitedly.

Castiel is already thinking about what a terrible mistake this was when they walk inside. A young lady behind the counter greets them immediately.

“Good afternoon! Welcome to the Humane Society. How can I help?”

“Dog!” Claire answers, making the three of them laugh.

“She’s right, we have an appointment to look at adopting a dog,” Castiel says.

“What’s your name?”

“Castiel Novak,” he replies.

She clicks around on the computer and then nods. “Okay, perfect. I’ll just go get your worker for you,” she says. She comes back a moment later with another young lady beside her.

“Hey, I’m Alex, and I’ll be your matchmaker today,” she says with a smile, tucking her long dark hair behind her ear. “Who is this little cutie patootie?”

“This is Claire,” Dean says for her.

“Hi, Claire. Do you wanna go play with some puppies?”

Claire claps her hands and reaches out for Alex. “Sorry, she thinks everybody loves her,” Dean tries to explain, attempting to wrangle Claire back into his arms comfortably.

“With good reason. She’s adorable! I can take her if you don’t mind?”

Dean shrugs and passes her over. “Let’s go get the puppies,” Alex says, leading the way to a room. Once they’re inside, she says, “I saw on your application that you had a little one, so I made sure to only pull dogs that haven’t shown any aggression towards children. Of course, we can never fully predict an animal’s behavior, so you need to make sure to be very clear with Claire about what the rules are. We have some pamphlets you can bring home with you about ways you can talk to Claire to help her understand.”

“That’s awesome,” Dean says.

“So I have three dogs I’ll bring in, all one at a time, and we’ll see how the three of you bond with each one and how the dog reacts to you. Does that sound okay?”

“Sounds great, thank you,” Castiel answers.

“Okay, I’ll be right back with doggie number one.”

She leaves the room after setting Claire down, and Castiel sits on the ground so Claire can come sit in his lap. That way he has control over her and can protect her from a dog if he needs to, though he isn’t overly worried about that. “We’re going to try to be quiet when the doggie comes in so we don’t scare him, okay, Claire Bear? And we only pet the dog if the dog comes to us.”

“Dog! Peese dog!”

“This is gonna be gold,” Dean grins.

The first dog Alex brings in is a black lab mix named Lucky. He’s on a leash, but he’s _huge,_ and instead of Claire clapping in excitement like he expected, she turns around and goes into full koala mode, wrapping herself around him like a tree.

Dean goes over to pet Lucky, and the dog wags his tail excitedly and gets up on his back legs to place his paws on Dean’s stomach for a pat. Dean’s smiling at Lucky and he looks really happy, but Claire is still wrapped around him and showing no signs of budging.

“What a nice puppy,” Dean says, looking over at Claire. “Wanna come pet the puppy, Claire?”

“No! No dog!” Claire answers.

“Come on, buddy, look what a nice dog he is,” Dean tries. “I’m petting him and his tail’s wagging. He’s really happy to have somebody pet him.”

“No,” Claire says again.

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Alex says. “Lucky’s a big dog, so maybe Claire would be more comfortable with a smaller dog.”

“I don’t want an ankle biter,” Dean says, crossing his arms and looking way cuter than should be allowed.

Alex doesn’t quite manage to suppress a giggle. “Dogs come in all shapes and sizes. Let me bring in something just a little smaller, okay?”

“Yeah, alright. See ya later, buddy,” Dean says to Lucky.

Claire unwinds herself from Castiel’s neck once Alex and Lucky leave the room.

“Well that went well,” Dean comments dryly.

“That was a very large black dog. Imagine how scary that would look if you were as small as Claire,” Castiel says.

“Yeah, I guess.”

Alex comes back in with a grey dog that looks like it has a mustache. Claire isn’t scared this time, but she’s clearly wary. “This is Gibbs. He’s a miniature schnauzer.”

Claire gets up to walk over to him and the dog jumps up and promptly knocks her back onto her butt. Gibbs tries to lick her face and obviously doesn’t mean her any harm, but Claire backs away as quickly as she can and crawls right back to Castiel and hides behind him. Gibbs follows her over and Castiel pets him, laughing at how distinguished a dog can look just because he has a mustache. Gibbs’s entire body is vibrating with excitement and Castiel can feel how much muscle is packed into this tiny dog’s frame.

“He’s solid,” he says to Alex.

“Schnauzers are made like that. This little guy weighs almost twenty pounds.”

“What do you think, Dean?” Castiel asks.

Dean shrugs. “He’s alright, I guess.”

Alex smiles knowingly at him. “It’s okay if it’s not love at first sight. Sometimes it takes people a couple of trips to find the right dog.”

“Yeah, Claire just really wanted to bring one home today,” Dean says with a small pout.

Castiel and Alex exchange a smile, knowing it isn’t Claire who wants to bring home a dog today. “I’ll go get the last dog I have to show you guys. Maybe the third time’s the charm,” Alex says, closing the door behind her.

“Sweetheart, how many times have I told you that pout of yours is more than I can take?” he asks Dean.

“I’m not pouting, shut up,” Dean disagrees.

“Bad daddy!” Claire says.

“Shut up isn’t bad,” Dean says, walking over to poke her little belly.

“It’s not _nice,”_ Castiel tells him.

“Dog?” Claire asks.

“You didn’t even like the dogs, ya weirdo,” Dean says with fond exasperation.

“Dog peese?” Claire asks.

“We’ll see, okay?” Castiel soothes her.

Alex comes in with the last dog, a beagle, and says, “This is Chevy.”

Dean’s eyes light up immediately and Castiel knows he’s in trouble. “Chevy is around two years old, so he’s not quite a puppy anymore, and he’s a little bit more relaxed.”

Castiel can see that for himself. Chevy is obviously excited because his entire backside is wagging due to his docked tail, but he’s at least attempting to sit down.

“Do you want to go pet the dog, Claire?” Castiel asks her.

Claire slowly gets out from where she hid again behind his back and walks over to Chevy with her hand out. “Be gentle,” Dean urges her.

Chevy sniffs her fingers once before he licks them, and Claire rips her hand back but giggles nervously.

“Nice doggy,” Castiel says to her, already smiling so big his cheeks hurt. “The doggie kissed your fingers.”

“Doggie,” she echoes, holding her hand out again. He licks it again, and she giggles again.

“Daddy’s gonna pet him, too,” Dean says, crouching down beside him and slowly lifting his hand to Chevy’s head. He gives him a pat and scratches behind his ears, which makes Chevy open his mouth and causes his tongue to loll out of the side happily. “What a good dog,” Dean chuckles. “Hey, buddy. Cool name you got there.”

“Daddy?” _Help_ , Claire signs.

“You wanna help pet him?”

Claire nods, so Dean takes her hand in his and helps her pet him. As if it were planned, _the second_ Claire’s little hand touches his head, Chevy turns in a circle and flops on the ground, belly up. Dean laughs again and says, “Chevy wants you to rub his belly, buddy. Like this.” Claire squats down and follows Dean’s lead, and then the two of them are rubbing Chevy’s belly and smiling down at him.

“Doggie!” Claire giggles.

And just like that, Castiel’s heart falls at the furry guy’s feet for making the two people he loves more than anything so happy.

“One of the perks with an older dog is that he’s already house trained and neutered, so you don’t have to worry about any of that stuff,” Alex tells them. “There might be a couple of accidents while he gets used to his new environment, but they should clear up sooner rather than later.”

“He’s a beagle, right?” Castiel checks.

“A beagle mix, but we don’t know for sure what he’s mixed with,” Alex says.

“Are beagles generally good with children?”

“Beagles are great dogs for kids. As a breed, they generally have an easy temperament, and if Claire likes playing outside at all, Chevy here will be in his glory following his nose,” Alex explains. “A couple of things about beagles that you should know though, is that they’re hounds.”

“So they howl?” Dean asks.

“Sometimes, sure. But what I was going to say is that they can be pretty stubborn.”

“Fits right in our family,” Dean comments, eliciting a smile from both himself and Alex.

“And they do quite literally find a scent and track it, so you have to make sure he’s adequately fenced in because he will take off following a scent without another thought.”

Castiel nods. All of that sounds doable. They can handle stubborn, and an electric fence should keep him inside.

Dean leans over to whisper something into Claire’s ear, then she turns to face him and says, “Dog peese? Peese Dad?”

Castiel aims a significant look at Dean for playing dirty, and he’s met with an unapologetic grin and sparkling green eyes that he’s no more able to say no to than the hope in Claire’s eyes.

“That’s just mean,” Alex comments, but she’s not able to hide her smile either.

“Try living with them,” Castiel quips.

“Go see Cas, Chevy,” Dean tries, but Chevy stays belly up. Castiel scoots over anyway and Chevy rolls over to get to his feet. Claire takes a step back, but Castiel stops her with a hand on her back, then lifts his hand so Chevy can give him a sniff. Chevy takes in his scent and then ducks his head, as if he’s presenting it for patting, and Castiel smiles before he does just that. Once again, Chevy's tongue hangs out of the side of his mouth and he looks like an irresistible mix of stupid and adorable, and Castiel is sunk.

“Well crap,” he says, and Dean laughs and grabs Claire to throw her up in the air.

“We got him, buddy! Dad’s saying yes!”

“Mine dog?” Claire asks between giggles.

“Claire’s dog,” Castiel relents, and then he shakes his head while Dean high-fives Claire.

“The shelter should hire these two. I bet there’s not a man or woman alive who could say no to the combination of Claire’s blonde curls and his smile,” Alex laughs.

“Maybe they’d gang up on somebody other than me for once,” Castiel says, though he’s obviously only joking.

“Nah, you’re stuck with us, and with Chevy, now too,” Dean says happily.

“So this is happening?” Alex checks.

“Yes. We’d like to bring him home,” Castiel confirms.

“Yaaay,” Dean says, clapping his hands with Claire.

“That’s so exciting! If it works for you, your husband can take Chevy and Claire, and you and I can fill out the paperwork since I opened the file in your name.”

“Fiancé,” Castiel corrects automatically as Alex hands Dean Chevy’s leash.

“Only for another six months,” Dean says.

“Not that you’re counting?” Alex jokes, and they both laugh.

“How much is the adoption fee for Chevy, by the way? I know it’s different for each dog,” Castiel remembers to ask.

“Doesn’t matter,” Dean interjects. “Just use my card.” Alex arches a brow and Dean says, “Yeah, I’m perfect.”

Alex snorts. “And modest.”

Dean chuckles and looks at Castiel. “She ain’t wrong.”

“Come on, Castiel,” Alex says, and Castiel follows her out of the room with Dean, Claire, and Chevy behind them. Claire grabs a hold of the leash, too, so both she and Dean are walking him, and it’s absolutely adorable.

“Hey Cas?” Dean asks. Castiel turns to face him and Dean says, “I’m just gonna grab some of the pet stuff we’ll need while we’re here, okay?” Dean gestures to the small pet store attached to the building and Castiel nods and waves him away before he closes his eyes and slumps his shoulders in defeat.

“He’s going to be like a kid in a candy store,” he sighs to Alex.

“You don’t really mind,” she guesses.

“No,” he admits. “As long as they’re both happy, I can’t really complain.”

“Honestly, the three of you seem really happy together. And I’m not just saying that to make a sale, because I know you’re not leaving here without that dog,” she says with a laugh.

“You are right about that,” he chuckles. “And thank you.”

“Alright, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Will Chevy’s last name be Novak?”

“No. Winchester.”

“Oh! Like the gym?” she asks.

“Yes, Dean’s co-owner.”

“Sweet. That’s where I go to work out! I take Yoga classes with Sam on the weekends.”

“How’s that?” Castiel asks, finding it surprisingly easy to talk to her.

“I love it! I mean, Sam in workout clothes would be enough motivation to get me outta bed anyway, but honestly, he’s a great teacher. I always feel amazing when I leave.”

“I’ve always wanted to try it, but weekends are so crazy I never seem to find the time.”

“Well, if you ever need a yoga buddy, you know where to find me,” she offers. She seems genuine, too.

“Thank you,” he replies.

“So the deal with Chevy is a thirty day Foster To Adopt program,” she explains. “You pay the fee, and we’ll check in with you weekly to see how things are going. If at any time in the first thirty days you feel like the responsibility is bigger than you hoped, Chevy isn’t happy there, or he just doesn’t fit in, you bring him back and get your money returned with no questions asked.”

“I really like that. Not that I think we’ll have any problems, but it really lessens the anxiety about what would happen if we do.”

“I totally agree. I love this program,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ear again. “Now, if you _do_ get along with the little guy, you just come back in here when your thirty days are up. We’ll chat a little bit about how things are going, and the vet will give him a once over to make sure you’ve been taking good care of him. Then you sign a new set of papers, and he’s all yours. Sound good?”

“Sounds great.”

“Any questions before you sign on the dotted line?” she checks.

“No, nothing I can think of.”

“Alright, here you go,” she says, sliding the papers towards him. “The three places with the little star.” Castiel signs each of them one by one, and passes the papers back to Alex. “Congratulations, you’re officially a dog foster parent.”

“I still have to pay,” Castiel reminds her.

“Figured we’d do it all at once once you wrangle your fiance in,” Alex grins.

“Oh god, I forgot,” he says, darting his head towards the room he knows Dean’s in. “I’ll be right back.”

“Good luck,” she calls after him as he hurries away.

And yes, he can tell with a single look that it’s exactly as bad as he feared. Dean has a shopping cart with Claire in the front, and the back _full_ of dog stuff. Just from a glance, he can see a truly gigantic bag of dog food, a big fluffy dog bed, and enough toys to fill a small toy box.

“Dean,” he says on a sigh.

“Hi Dad! Wook!” Claire says, waving a stuffed animal at him.

“What’s that?” he asks.

“Num-nums,” she says, and Castiel looks closer to see it’s a drumstick.

“Done already?” Dean asks. “Look at all the great stuff we got!” he says, gesturing to the basket.

Chevy’s little tail wags the closer he gets to him, and Castiel crouches down to give the little guy a rub even as he eyes the shopping cart more closely.

“I see. Is all of this really necessary?”

“Claire picked out the toys,” Dean says with a shrug. “But the rest? Yeah. Got the fence thingy - which is expensive as hell, by the way - bowls, food, treats, bones, outdoor toys, a longer leash, a bed, a brush... and I think that’s it.”

“This is going to cost more than Chevy,” he comments dryly.

“Yeah, but it’s a special occasion. Most of this is a one-time thing. It’s no big deal. The only thing more than I was expecting was the fence. I knew we’d have to buy the rest of this sh-stuff,” he says, glancing at Claire.

He can tell just by the impish look on her face she was ready to tell Dean he was being bad, and he reaches over to drop a kiss on top of her head. “Alright. Let’s go get this over with, then. Alex said we could pay all together out front. I’ll bring everything to the car so I don’t have to see how many millions it all costs.”

“Hey, c’mere a sec,” Dean says, catching him by the wrist and tugging him in to plant a quick kiss on his lips. Dean slides their fingers together comfortingly as he says, “Don’t worry, okay?”

“Yes, dear,” he says easily, already feeling lighter just from Dean’s reassurance. “I’ll take Chevy.” Dean passes him the leash, and Chevy trots along beside him happily. Castiel can’t wipe the smile off of his face when he sees Chevy’s tongue hanging out again. It’s so dopey it’s somehow endearing.

“We’re back,” he announces to Alex.

She eyes the cart and he would swear he could see her eyes light up with laughter before she says, “There see, you were worried for nothing! He only got the essentials.”

Castiel laughs and Dean turns to shoot him an unamused look. “Ha ha, very funny.”

“Mine dog?” Claire asks.

“Yeah buddy, Chevy’s your dog,” Dean answers her. Then he turns to Alex. “Ring it up and my pack mule over here will start lugging it to the car.” Castiel rolls his eye dramatically behind Dean’s back while Dean lifts the dog food onto the counter. “Just because I can't see you doesn’t mean I don’t know what you’re doin’,” Dean says, earning a surprised laugh from him.

“You guys are hilarious,” Alex laughs along.

It takes three trips and what feels like playing a game of Tetris to get everything in the trunk of the Impala, and when he goes back to help Dean with Claire and Chevy, he checks to make sure Claire doesn’t need to use the bathroom before they leave. Then they say goodbye to Alex and walk out to the Impala. 

Which is when he realizes…

“Oh _shit,”_ Dean says passionately, stealing the word right out of Castiel’s brain.

“Bad daddy!”

“Dog on leather seats,” Castiel comments, ignoring Claire for the time being. Dean turns to face him with big wide eyes full of panic, and Castiel softens immediately. “I’ll see if I can get him to sit on my knee.”

“Fuckin’ love you, Cas,” Dean says on a relieved sigh, and Castiel steps closer to kiss him gently. Dean and his love for his car will never stop being adorable.

“I’ll get the blonde, and you get the brunette,” Dean suggests.

They do just that, and once Claire is buckled in and Castiel is settled with Chevy on his lap in the passenger seat steadfastly ignoring the way his claws are digging into his legs, Dean glances over at him and smiles, showing off those perfectly white teeth. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, holding it up towards Castiel.

“That’s a whole lotta cute in my car, Cas. Gimme a big gummy smile, hon.” Castiel smiles normally and Dean looks at him over his phone. “Even Chevy’s smiling bigger than you. C’mon, Cassie.”

“Screw you,” he says, scowling immediately at the horrible nickname he still curses Balthazar for.

Dean cracks up and tries again. “Pretty please? With cherries on top?”

“Peese dad!” Claire adds from the back seat.

Castiel can’t _not_ smile at that, and Dean grins triumphantly while his camera phone _clicks._

“You two are the absolute worst,” Castiel says, looking out the window. “I can’t believe you taught her to gang up on me like that.”

“Love you, too, sweetums,” Dean says sarcastically, putting the car into reverse. “Alright, blondie. Time to take the doggie home.”

“Yaaaay!” Claire calls, clapping and kicking her feet.

Thankfully it isn’t a long drive, because Chevy is either very nervous or very scared, and he has a hard time sitting still - which means Castiel has claws digging into his skin painfully almost constantly throughout the drive.

When they pull into their driveway, he opens the car door and Chevy hops out, looking back at him and wagging his backside excitedly.

“Mine dog!” Claire shouts angrily from her seat. “Mine!”

“Hang on a second, cranky pants. I need to get you out first,” Dean tells her, unblucking her. She wiggles out of his arms and runs around the back of the car to grab a hold of the leash.

“Mine!” she says again.

Castiel arches his eyebrows at Dean. “She sounds like a brat.”

Dean waves him away. “She’s just excited. She shares everything else well enough.”

Castiel shrugs, having to take his word for it considering Dean spends much more time with Claire around other children than he does.

“Chevy is your dog, Claire, but he’s mine and Daddy’s, too. We share the dog,” he tells her.

Claire doesn’t look pleased, but she doesn’t argue.

“I’ll grab the dog food and some of the toys while you get Chevy acquainted with the house,” Dean offers.

“No, that’s okay. I’ll get the stuff and you two can play with the dog.”

“You sure?” Dean asks, his eyes lighting up despite checking again that that’s what Castiel wants to do.

“Go ahead,” Castiel says, passing the leash over.

“Let me grab a bag at least. Claire can take a light one, too.”

Castiel opens the trunk and hands one bag to Dean, and finds one that isn’t too heavy for Claire. “Here you go, Claire Bear. Can you carry this into the house for daddy, please?”

 _Help,_ Claire signs, reaching to take the bag.

“That’s such a good girl to help. Thanks, sweetie,” Castiel praises her.

“Alright guys, let’s do this,” Dean says, leading both Claire and Chevy towards the door. Castiel watches as Claire drags the bag behind her, and Dean lets Chevy stop along the way to sniff as they go. “Yeah, you smell that? That’s home, buddy. You live here now.”

“Dog!” Claire says, pointing to him.

“Can you say Chevy?” Dean asks. “The dog’s name is Chevy.”

“Dog!” Claire says again.

“Alright, we’ll work on it. You can answer to Dog, too, right, Chevy?” Dean asks. They get to the front door and Dean types in the code to unlock it, and Castiel finally turns back to the car to grab a couple of bags. When he gets inside the house, Dean, Claire, and Chevy are nowhere to be seen, and he figures they’ve already made their way into a bedroom. He goes back for the giant bag of dog food, and makes one last trip for the dog bed, and when he’s back inside with the door closed behind him, he can hear Dean’s voice coming from down the hallway.

He leaves everything at the door and walks towards the sound, only to poke his head around the doorway to Claire’s room and see Dean on the ground with Claire sitting in his lap. He has some stuffed animal in his hand, and he’s teasing Chevy with it by moving it from side to side.

“No, over here, Chevy! Now look, over here! Whoops, over here!”

Chevy runs back and forth, trying to grab it time after time, and Claire is laughing her little head off. Dean stops to let Chevy chew on it for a minute before he distracts him with a pat. Dean looks up to see him standing there and smiles before he tears the stuffy from Chevy’s mouth. 

“You wanna try, blondie?”

Claire takes it from him and does the same thing Dean was doing a minute ago, though faster and with far less coordination. Chevy grabs it and Claire laughs again, then Dean grabs a hold of it to tug it out of his mouth. Claire goes to pet him, and he licks her hand, getting another little giggle.

Dean’s grinning, too, and he says, “Get Claire, Chevy! Get her! Come on!” He ruffles Chevy’s fur and Chevy bounds forwards, and with one paw on each of Dean’s knees, he starts sniffing and licking at Claire’s face. Claire freezes at first, but Dean laughs and runs his hands through the fur on Chevy’s sides. Dean explains, “Chevy’s kissing you, Claire!” and when Chevy licks Claire again, she laughs along with Dean.

How could he not fall in love with something that makes his family this happy?

Dean makes eye contact with him and the only thing Castiel can possibly say is, “I love you so much.”

Chevy hears his voice and turns towards him, running over with his butt hovering above the ground while it wags side to side. Castiel crouches down to pet him, still feeling incredibly grateful to the little guy.

“I love you too, hon,” Dean says with laughter still in his voice.

“Wuv you,” Claire says next. His heart clenches in shock. Claire’s looking right at him and as the reality of what she just said sinks in, he feels warmth pulse through his chest. Almost three years he’s waited to hear Claire say she loves him back, and today, she finally said it.

He looks to Dean to see that his jaw is hanging open too, and just seeing his reaction has his eyes filling with tears. He swallows the lump in his throat and tries to respond, but finds he’s completely lost the ability to speak.

“Go give your dad a hug, buddy,” Dean prompts her, lifting her under her arms to plant her on her feet. He can tell just by Dean’s voice that he’s almost crying, too.

Claire walks over to give him a big hug, and he wraps her up in his arms happily as the tears start flowing. “Dad’s so happy, baby. Thank you. Thank you for saying it. I love you more than anything, Claire,” he tells her. “I love you a whole bunch.”

“Wuv you,” she says again, and would you believe it feels even better to hear it a second time? He’s overwhelmed with a mix of happiness and pride, and honest to god relief. A part of him wondered if she’d ever say it, and now that she has, it’s unbelievable. The only thing he wants more than feeling exactly like this is having Dean feel it, too.

“Go tell daddy,” he says quietly. “Daddy loves Claire, too.”

Claire turns back around to Dean and smiles at him shyly. “Wuv you, Daddy,” Claire says, and yes, it feels _at least_ as good hearing her tell Dean and seeing Dean’s eyes close as tears spill over and roll down his cheek.

Instead of hugging Dean, though, Claire goes back over to Chevy, who happily flops onto his back again for her to pet him. Dean lets out a jittery breath and wipes at his face.

“I swear I’ve cried more in the last year and a half than I have in my entire life,” Dean says shakily, eyes still on Claire playing with Chevy.

Castiel straightens out of his crouch and closes the door so Chevy can’t escape, then walks over to him and gets on his knees to straddle his lap. Dean’s grinning at him now, seeing as he’s being silly, and Castiel loops his arms around his neck.

“She loves us,” he says to Dean, faking nonchalance.

“Yeah,” Dean agrees, his smile brighter than the sun. “All we had to do was buy her a puppy.” Castiel laughs heartily, knowing it isn’t really about that all, but also aware that the joke is going to get some traction when Dean retells it (multiple times). “Can’t believe she just said it like that. Like it was no big deal.”

“She’s doing so much better with her speech,” Castiel comments. “New words all the time.”

“It never gets old,” Dean says. Dean’s hands wind around his waist, and he peeks over Castiel’s shoulder to look at Claire. Castiel follows his gaze and sees her holding one of Chevy’s paws in her hand.

“Hi, dog! Hi! Hi, dog! Hi! Hi! Hi!” Claire keeps repeating, shaking his paw.

Chevy seems perfectly fine with it, so when Dean tugs him down by the back of his neck for a kiss, he meets his lips happily. Their mouths move together with practiced ease, but Castiel doesn’t dare to linger, knowing perfectly well what sitting like this on Dean while kissing him will do to them both.

He slides off of his lap and wraps his arm around Dean, smiling happily when Dean’s head rests on his shoulder.

“Thanks for today, Cas. This is awesome,” Dean says, watching Claire and Chevy. “She’s even happier than I thought she would be.”

Castiel nods along, incredibly happy himself. “You bought him.”

 _“We_ bought him,” Dean argues, and Castiel rolls his eyes at the familiar argument. “And I’m gonna see if I can take the week off to spend with him here. Find a doggy daycare. Oh! Almost forgot to tell you that we have some guys coming in to install the underground fence tomorrow night at seven.”

“You can’t do it yourself?” Castiel asks, surprised considering Dean always offers to do that kind of thing.

“I probably could, but it’s more complicated than I thought it would be. A bunch of digging holes and running copper wire and shit that I didn’t really wanna bother with.”

He nods his head in understanding. “No ogling the workers,” he teases.

Dean huffs in disbelief. “I can’t even believe you still say shit like that. You _know_ I’ve only got eyes for you.”

Thinking about that, combined with how Dean likes the risk of getting caught being sexual in public, he lowers his voice to say, “It’s too bad our bedroom window looks out to the front yard. I could make sure they can all see how you _only_ have eyes for me.”

“Well, lucky for you, they gotta do the front yard, too,” Dean says, smirking now. “And there’s no way you’re teasing that and not delivering.”

“You want them to see how good you look for me down on your knees? Make them all jealous?”

Dean’s eyes visibly darken, and he nods shallowly. “We might need a practice round tonight, though. Just to make sure I’m _really_ good.”

Castiel laughs lightly. “I would absolutely be willing to help, but I’m pretty sure one of us will be trying to comfort a whining dog tonight, and I’m fairly certain it’s not going to be me.”

“Well shit,” Dean says heavily. But then he perks up again. “There’s always nap time,” Dean says with an eyebrow wiggle, and Castiel laughs again.

Dean’s nothing if not persistent.   



	11. Chapter 11

Castiel watches with clenched teeth while Dean launches the ball halfway down the yard again and Chevy goes bounding after it at full speed.

“Dean?”

“Yeah,” Dean says absentmindedly, grinning at Chevy when he retrieves the ball and comes running right back.

Castiel has to admit (begrudgingly) that Chevy does make an adorable picture: his too-big ears are blowing in the wind, his mouth is comically wide with the tennis ball inside, and his eyes are as big as saucers as he runs right back to Dean. He’s been with them for more than three months now, and he fits into the family seamlessly. He even sleeps on his dog bed directly beside Claire’s bed every night. Honestly, he’s a very good dog, but Castiel’s been trying to have this conversation about the seating arrangements for the wedding with Dean for two weeks now, and Dean is not doing a great job of splitting his attention at the moment.

In fact, Dean hasn’t been doing a great job of much of anything when it comes to him in the last few weeks. Things have been crazy non-stop pretty much since Claire’s third birthday, and the Christmas holiday had been insane. They hosted for the first time, and the time and energy that went into cooking Christmas dinner and setting up the house for Mary, Sam, and Jess to stay over was a lot more than they’d bargained for. It was beautiful, and waking up with his family all under one roof in their home for the first time ever on Christmas day was one of the happiest feelings in the world. But now it’s January, and while things should have gone back to normal when he and Dean went back to work... they somehow didn’t.

Dean’s been distant in a way he’s never seen him before. He’s still kind to him and as helpful around the house and as involved with Claire as he’s always been, and Dean still tells him he loves him every day... but it’s just not the same for some reason. Though he still gets kissed before work and when they get home, and they still sleep tangled up together every night - that’s it - and it’s not normal for them. The easy affection that’s always been there has been missing the last few weeks, and meanwhile, he’s still trying to push through with the wedding planning, working, and parenting, and it’s all just _a lot_. He knows if he could just nail down these few details about the wedding he’d feel so much better, but Dean’s new attitude isn’t helping whatsoever.

“What do you think?” he asks, prompting him again.

“Uh, sorry. I wasn’t listening,” Dean says with a cheeky grin in his direction.

“I’m aware,” he says dryly, his anger mounting. “So me, you, Claire, Bentley, Jess, Sam, and your mom will sit at one table, which leaves 43 seats, assuming everybody can come. How should we do the tables?” he repeats.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we could do seven more tables with six people at each, or five tables with eight people at each...?”

Dean shrugs, grabbing the ball from Chevy and faking him out several times without actually throwing it. “I dunno. What difference does it make?”

Castiel breathes slowly through his nose, trying not to lose his patience. “Well, the size of the tables, for one. And actually getting a number of tables back to the rental company, for two.”

“Get it, Chevy. Grrr, get it,” Dean says, still teasing the dog with the ball and not even bothering to pretend like he’s thinking about the question. 

“We’re less than two months away, Dean, we need to make a decision.”

“Honestly hon, I really don’t care about the tables. Just -”

His temper flares inside of him hot and fast, and he stands abruptly, letting the notebook he had been holding fall to the deck and making Dean stop mid-sentence. “Fine. That’s what I’ll tell the rental company when they call next week. ‘We really don’t care.’ Thanks for all your help.”

And with that, he walks into the house and into the bedroom, ignoring Dean calling after him. It’s after nine, so he strips and changes into his pajamas. He grabs the book he’s been reading and climbs into bed.

Of course, he’s so mad that he can’t actually concentrate enough to read.

He’s incredibly stressed over everything he still has left to do for the wedding, and apparently Dean isn’t going to help him whatsoever. He has the tables and the seating plan to worry about, deciding on their wardrobes, the wedding favors, the playlist... Even just thinking about everything he has left to do on top of everything he usually does makes his insides twist with anxiety.

And when exactly did all of this become his responsibility anyway? He and Dean are supposed to be a team. Partners. But somewhere along the way the wedding became his responsibility, and he’s beginning to resent it. And Dean. Because it must be really nice to be Dean right now. He gets to go play with the dog and go about his every day life without worrying about a thing while Castiel is reaching for Rolaids four times a day to try to calm the burning sensation in his stomach.

Deciding to forget about even the pretense of reading, he puts his book away, turns out the lights, and tries to go to bed.

Except he hasn’t gone to bed without Dean in more than a year, so the bed feels much too empty and he can’t seem to get comfortable no matter how much he tosses and turns. Even knowing that it’s unfair, it only makes him more and more angry with Dean with every minute he can’t fall asleep. He aches for Dean in his arms, but at the same time he’s so irritated with him he hopes he sleeps on the couch.

It’s ten thirty when Dean finally comes into their bedroom, stopping in the doorway once he sees the lights are out and Castiel is in bed without him. Castiel looks away when Dean walks over to put something on his end table - probably his phone - then Dean walks into the bathroom to brush his teeth, and doesn’t bother trying to find pajamas in the dark. Instead, he can see Dean’s shadow as he drops his pants and climbs into their bed with his boxers on.

He turns onto his side, facing away from Dean, although honestly just having him in the bed relaxes something inside of him. Dean snuggles in behind him, and immaturely, Castiel scoots closer to the edge of the bed.

“Hey,” Dean complains quietly. “C’mere.” Castiel doesn’t say anything, but shrugs off the hand trying to wind its way around his stomach. “Seriously? You’re gonna give me the cold shoulder?”

“Honestly, I really don’t care,” Castiel replies childishly, using Dean’s prior words against him.

“Okay, I get it. I was a dick.”

Castiel huffs. That’s an understatement.

“C’mon. Don’t be mad at me,” Dean asks him, his voice taking on that soft, smooth tone that he uses against him when he wants something. “I love you. I’m sorry I wasn’t listening to you.”

“You haven’t been listening to me for weeks,” Castiel reminds him.

“I’m sorry,” Dean says again.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. Go to bed, Dean.”

“Caaas,” Dean whines, nuzzling into the skin behind his ear. “I can’t go to sleep when you’re mad at me.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that when you were ignoring me.”

“Let me make it up to you,” Dean says, kissing along his neck.

Castiel shakes him off with an annoyed huff and sits up on the edge of the bed. “So _now_ you want to have sex?” he asks, his voice raised in a shout.

“Hey, keep it down, you’re gonna wake Claire.”

Castiel pushes his hand through his hair and braces his head on his elbows. He’s still furious, but he shouldn’t have yelled at Dean. “I didn’t mean to yell.”

“It’s okay, it happens. And I wasn’t asking you to have sex. I can see how you might’ve thought that, but it’s not what I meant.” Castiel shoots him a skeptical look, and Dean flips on the lamp beside his bed. He grabs something off of the nightstand and Castiel sees it’s the notebook he left when he stormed off of the deck. That’s enough to have him straightening up. “I, uh, did the table thing.”

“You what?” Castiel asks, not entirely understanding.

“I took the guest list and I set up the tables. Went with seven tables of six, since seven’s supposed to be magical, right?” he asks with a shy smile. “Plus, then when you add ours it’s an even number so it’ll be easier for the decorators to balance yard. I did the whole seating plan, too. Put everybody in and everything. It’s probably crap, so you can redo it if you want - or uh, _we_ can redo it together, I mean. But it’s a start.”

And as he scans how he’s arranged everyone - people from the gym together, people from the library together, the table with the extra seat including Charlie, Jo, Jody, Kevin, Benny, Gabriel, and Chuck - it all makes sense, too. 

There is  writing on the page behind this one, and he flips it over to see a rather long list of songs. 

Dean says, “You had your to-do list in the front of the book, and I knew I pissed you off and that I’ve been slacking on the wedding stuff, so I started the playlist, too. That’s what I meant by making it up to you earlier. Though if sex is on the table...” Castiel shoots him another unamused look and Dean grins back at him. “Aw, come on. You’re still mad at me?”

“Less mad now than I was before,” he relents. “You did a good job with the seating plan, and I’m happy you took the initiative to do it now. But why couldn’t we have done it together when I kept asking earlier?”

Dean exhales loud and slow. “I’m sorry. I know I wasn’t paying attention, and I could tell it was bugging you and still...”

He feels hurt run through him as Dean lets his sentence trail off. Dean’s usually so attentive that it borderlines on _too_ attentive most of the time, and now he admits to this? It was bad enough when he thought Dean wasn’t paying attention to him because they have so much going on, but to hear him say he knew he was annoyed and he just went ahead and acted that way anyway? Why would he do that?

He can feel his eyes beginning to water as anxiety sets in. They’re not even married yet and already Dean’s losing interest in him? Did he do something wrong? Is their domestic lifestyle not satisfying enough for him? Not what he thought it would be?

So he asks the biggest question - the one that’s been burning in his mind for the last week - that he needs to know the answer to in order to know how he’s going to move forward. His voice comes out surprisingly steady considering he feels like he’s a split second away from breaking into a million pieces.

“Do you want to call off the wedding?”

 _“What?”_ Dean asks, clearly shocked. “Of course not! How could you think that?”

And now the tears spill over but out of relief instead of heartbreak. He brushes them away impatiently, but they continue to fall hot and fast. “You - you didn’t care anytime I asked you about it. You’ve barely touched me. We’ve had sex once in three weeks and you barely even touched me then.”

Pain flashes on Dean’s face. “Cas -”

“It feels like you don’t want me anymore,” he admits, his voice broken and small.

Dean scoots across their bed and gathers him up into his arms, burying his face in his neck. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m so, so, so fucking sorry. I love you, and I do wanna marry you. Of course I still want you, Cas.”

Every word is like a tiny piece of tape straining to hold together a gaping hole of hurt. It helps, but it’s nowhere close to solving whatever the actual problem is.

He takes in several stuttering breaths, inhaling and exhaling heavily, trying to get his emotions back under control - still not at all willing to pull out of Dean’s embrace now that he has it again. “Talk to me, then. Tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t - I don’t even know,” Dean answers, his voice also thick. “I wasn’t doin’ it on purpose.”

Now Castiel does pull away, because it’s somehow worse if Dean doesn’t know why he was acting like he has been. “You just said you knew it was bugging me when you weren’t listening,” he reminds him, searching his face for any clue to what’s going on.

Dean’s looking at him with an expression so full of so much heartbreak that it’s causing a terrible pit to take root in his stomach. Dean reaches out to wipe his tears off of his face, and Castiel closes his eyes to absorb the additional physical contact. He’s really been missing that lately.

“I knew you were mad about the wedding stuff, but I didn’t know you felt like I didn’t want you anymore. That’s crazy, Cas. I’m always gonna want you. I’m sorry I haven’t been in the mood for more sex -”

“It’s not even about sex,” Castiel interrupts. “It’s about everything else that stopped. Holding my hand and kissing me every time you leave the room. Coming up behind me in the kitchen and wrapping your arms around me. You don’t do that anymore. It’s like you went from not being able to keep your hands off of me to putting a foot of space between us at all times. And I know I probably sound needy and whiny complaining about it, but I don’t know what I did to make you not want to touch me anymore.”

“It’s not that,” Dean says, green eyes boring into his. “It’s not _you_ , Cas.”

Castiel narrows his eyes. “It’s not you, it’s me?”

“I’m serious,” Dean says. “You didn’t do anything. I just - I don’t know. I’m _tired.”_

“You’re tired?” Castiel asks, blinking at him.

Dean shrugs sheepishly, like he knows it’s a stupid excuse but he’s already committed to it. “Well, yeah. Christmas was great, but it was _exhausting_. And then you know how crazy work gets in January with everybody wanting to start getting in shape with the new year and everything, and then with everything here, and Claire and Chevy and the wedding. I kinda feel like I’m juggling ten balls at a once. I guess I let one drop, and it was yours.”

“I’m juggling all of the same things you are,” Castiel points out, feeling a weird mix of understanding and heartbroken.

“I know,” Dean says sadly. “And you’re doin’ it all like a freakin’ boss. I have no idea how you do everything I do plus cook and basically planning an entire wedding by yourself.”

“I don’t exactly have a choice,” Castiel comments, beginning to feel angry again. He _has to_ plan the wedding,because if he doesn’t do it, who will?

“I know. I’m sorry I’m fucking up. I - God, Cas. I can’t believe I’m doing such a shitty job of handling everything that you thought I didn’t even wanna marry you anymore. I’ll do better - I swear I’ll do better, hon.”

But he knows it’s an empty promise. Dean obviously can’t do better on his own or he would have been doing it already, so as his partner, it’s his job to do what he can to make life easier on Dean. “How can I help you?”

Dean grabs him by the back of the neck and leans forwards, closing his eyes and resting their foreheads together. Dean’s hand is tight on his his neck and his body is full of tension. He just breathes slowly, in and out. Their breaths mingle, they share air, and Castiel has no idea what’s happening other than Dean needs this right now and he’ll do anything he can to give it to him.

“You do enough,” Dean finally answers. “You do so much, and I don’t want you to take on anything else.”

“I can though,” he offers, even though he doesn’t know if that’s true. But he’s willing to try anyway because he doesn’t want to keep going on like this. He wants _his_ Dean back. “I just miss you so much,” he whispers. “I miss being close to you.”

“Cas,” Dean breathes quietly, lifting his chin until their lips are pressing together. It starts soft and tentative, like Dean doesn’t know if he’s allowed to really kiss him right now, but when Castiel doesn’t pull away Dean increases the pressure of his lips and winds his fingers into his hair. “I love you,” Dean says against his lips, and he feels like some of the wound closes up.

It’s been _days_ since he’s been kissed like this; like Dean loves him and wants him, and it’s the most natural thing in the world to open his mouth and invite Dean in for more. Dean’s tongue slips into his mouth with a gasp, and Castiel swallows it greedily, massaging his tongue with his own and urging Dean to crawl into his lap.

Dean wraps himself around him as closely as he possibly can, without once breaking their kiss. Dean holds him in place with his hands, and Castiel lets his own hands slide up Dean’s broad back to keep him here while Dean kisses him to within an inch of his life. Dean breaks their kiss panting, mouth moving hot and wet down the column of his throat. “I’m sorry, hon. I’m so sorry, Cas. God, I’m sorry.” He kisses every apology into his skin, even though Castiel had forgiven him after the first one.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s alright. I love you.”

Dean pulls back, staring at him with a sad expression on his face, but with spit slicked lips and eyes dark with lust, too. “You deserve better than me. I know you do.”

“No. You’re everything I want.”

Dean shakes his head minutely as he slides off of his lap, holding his head in his hands. “I was a shitty fiance the last couple of weeks. We’re supposed to be a team, and I let you down, Cas. I knew I was doin’ it, but I did it anyway because it was easier than trying, and I don’t know how to deal with that. I told you I’d always be here to take care of you and we’re not even married yet and I - I failed you.”

“I don’t need you to take care of me,” Castiel tells him for what he feels like must be the hundredth time. “I need you to be my partner, not my caretaker. I need you to help me take care of Claire and Chevy and the house, and I need you to take care of yourself, but I don’t need you to take care of me. I only need you to love me.”

“I do. I love you so much.”

He nods his understanding, because he knows Dean loves him. “How can I help you to feel less overwhelmed with everything right now?”

Dean sighs heavily and runs a hand through his short hair, tugging slightly on the ends and cluing Castiel in to just how frustrated he really is. “I don’t know. I’ve been asking myself that for weeks. I don’t know how to keep doing everything I’m doing without fucking up again.”

“Okay,” Castiel slowly, conveying that he’s thinking about it. Dean can’t stop being a dad to Claire. They can’t abandon Chevy. He doesn’t want to call off the wedding. The only thing he can do is... “Do you remember when we talked about our five year plan when we first met?”

“Yeah,” Dean nods. “Got almost everything in only two years.”

“Which is a lot,” Castiel comments. “I’m not surprised you’re feeling overwhelmed. But you mentioned cutting back on the hours you work. I know it’s busy at work now, but moving forward, is that something that you still might want to do?”

Dean presses his lips together while he thinks. “Maybe take a couple of afternoons off a week? Get some shit done around the house without a toddler bomb walking behind me and messing it all up again, walk Chevy, cook dinner for you. Get everything else done so that when you get home I feel like I can sit with you for more than five minutes without chores and other shit to do piling up on my shoulders.” Dean’s clearly thinking out loud, so he doesn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt his thought process. Dean meets his eyes again with a spark in his eyes he hasn’t seen in weeks. “Sounds kinda nice, I’m not gonna lie.”

“Is it feasible? For Winchesters?”

Dean shrugs a shoulder. “We’ll have to make some changes and probably hire somebody else, but it can be done. Perks of bein’ the boss,” he grins.

“Do you think that would help with us?”

“Cas,” Dean says, his voice sad all over again. “There’s nothin’ wrong with us, hon. Not on my end, anyway.”

“I’m still a little worried,” he admits. “I didn’t know this about myself until you came along, but I’m a very physical person. It’s really been bringing me down not having that intimate contact with you that I’m so used to. I don’t want that to go away as time goes on.”

“It won’t,” Dean promises. “I like being close to you too. Sitting on the couch with you, curled up on your chest is literally my favorite place in the world. Just - you gotta tell me if I’m fucking up again, okay? Nothing's gonna motivate me more than knowing I’m not making you happy.”

“I should have said something sooner,” he realizes.

“Woulda helped probably, yeah. But I could’ve told you how wiped I was, too.”

“When did we stop talking?” Castiel asks him sadly. “We’ve always communicated so well.”

“We are now, too. Just had a bad couple of weeks, I guess.”

“Do you think that’s bad? For us?”

Dean waves him away. “Nah. I think if it happened to us it probably happens to every couple.”

“We’ve been together for almost two years now, and it was always so easy before. I’m just worried that it isn’t anymore.”

Dean laughs dryly. “We were stalked and I got my ass kicked by your crazy ex in the first six months that I met you, Cas. We didn’t have it _easy.”_

Castiel’s lips twitch. “The outside stuff was hard, but we were easy.”

“It’s still not hard being with you. Sleeping with you every night and waking up with you every morning. Honestly, knowing that you’d be here and love me no matter what was the only thing I held on to when I was feeling like life was really kicking my ass the last little bit.”

“Really?” Castiel asks.

“I swear. I shoulda told you. But no matter how it looked or how it felt, I swear I was loving you so much every damn day. You’re my rock.”

“That feels really good to hear,” Castiel admits.

Dean leans in to kiss him again, soft and lingering. “I’m gonna talk to Jess tomorrow about seeing if anybody wants more hours, and we’ll get the ball rolling on me taking some time off. I promise I’m gonna do better until then, okay? I’m gonna be stuck on you so good you’re gonna need a crowbar to get me off of you.”

Castiel huffs out a small laugh. “Just letting me hold you and kiss you more than twice a day would be a really great start.”

“You tellin’ me you don’t want a piece of this ass?” Dean says, waggling his eyebrows.

“I absolutely do. Just not at -” he turns to look at the clock. “Eleven o’clock on a Tuesday.”

Dean groans. “We shoulda been sleeping an hour ago.” Then a split second later. “We are old men who need to go to sleep at ten to be able to function the next day. How’d _that_ happen?”

“Life,” Castiel huffs in amusement. “And I would have been sleeping at ten if I wasn't too mad at you to fall asleep.”

“Isn’t there a thing about that? Never go to bed angry or something?”

“Well I’m not angry anymore,” Castiel reminds him.

“Gonna push me away if I snuggle in this time?”

“Not if you turn off the lamp,” Castiel bargains. Dean smiles and flicks it off, and they both get under the covers again. Castiel stays on his back, and Dean situates himself so their legs are tangled and Dean’s head is resting on his chest. Castiel happily wraps his arms around him and sighs at the feeling of peace that’s seeping into him for the first time in days. “I feel so much better.”

“Me too. Lighter or somethin,” Dean says with a yawn. “Thanks for not giving up on me, Cas. I know I fucked up.”

“We both did,” he says, remembering how if he had brought this up weeks ago it wouldn’t have gotten so bad. “Thank you for doing the seating plan.”

“Yeah, well, you can throw a hell of a hissy fit.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Shut up while you’re ahead, Dean.”

Dean snorts with laughter. “Good call. ‘Night, hon. Love you.”

“I love you, too, Dean.”

He falls asleep easily after that.

 

* * *

 

“You guys are _hella_ gay,” Charlie says with an impish grin from the back seat of the Impala.

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” Castiel checks, though he knows it isn’t.

Jo snorts hier amusement. “You really are though.”

“That’s probably why we’re going to try on our duds for our big gay wedding,” Dean says.

“Together. At the same place at the same time, even though you don’t want to see each other,” Jo adds.

“Hence the _hella_ gay comment,” Charlie explains.

“She must mean gay _happy,”_ he says to Dean, sliding their fingers together on the seat between them.

Dean smiles at him, and an entire conversation takes place just with that one smile. Things have gone back to normal since they talked their way through their disagreement a few weeks ago. Dean has two afternoons a week off now, and everything seems a lot more manageable. Now they’re only four weeks away from the wedding, and as happy as they’ve ever been. Maybe even slightly happier in the way it always is after a fight when you realize what you have to lose.

“Oh yeah, that’s totally what I meant,” Charlie says sarcastically.

“Now we just gotta find a parking spot,” Dean says, eying the side of the road as he drives along Main Street.

“Good luck parking this boat in one of these tiny spots,” Jo says.

“Prepare to be amazed,” Dean says back, and Castiel just smiles, knowing perfectly well that there hasn’t been a spot so far Dean hasn’t been able to get Baby into. Sure enough, he parallel parks expertly on the side of the road just outside of the tailor’s, and Castiel can’t hide his amused smile when his fiance’s swagger is slightly exaggerated on the way inside.

They see Sam waiting for them inside, and they all exchange hellos standing just inside the door.

“Welcome! Please come in. Let’s not crowd the door,” the tailor says with a smile.

“Sorry, man,” Dean offers quickly, all of them shuffling out of the way.

“Not a problem at all. You two strapping lads can follow me this way, please and thank you,” he says, ushering them both towards the back.

“We don’t want to see each other in our wedding clothes,” Dean tells him. Charlie doesn’t quite manage to suppress a snort and Castiel shares a fond look with her.

“Really?” the tailor asks. “That makes things slightly more difficult, but we can manage, I’m sure.”

“We tried to tell him that it’s only bad luck for the groom to see _the bride_ before the wedding, but he’s got a thick head,” Sam says.

“Nothin’ compared to Cas,” Dean says with a grin and a wink aimed in Castiel’s direction.

“Was that a dick joke?” Charlie asks, eyes wide. Unfortunately, Castiel can feel his face heating up and when she looks at him again, she points knowingly. “I _knew_ it! Wait - is Cas…?” He barely resists the urge to run to the car when he sees her eyes slide down to his crotch. He angles his hips away from her and is about to get Dean to do something when Sam comes to the rescue.

“Guys - can we not?” Sam asks, a pained expression on his face.

“Seconded,” Jo says.

“Okay, you in here,” the tailor says, pointing to one room. “And you in here. Castiel has more layers, so I assume we’ll start with Dean. Castiel, don’t come out until we say so.”

“We don’t want you to see the bride,” Sam says to him, smirking.

“Oh, screw you, I’d make a beautiful bride,” Dean says easily. Then he meets Castiel’s eyes before he steps into his room. “See ya on the other side.”

Castiel nods nervously and steps into his change room.

“Oooh, I’m so excited,” he can hear Charlie say from the other side of the door.

“Gonna be weird seeing Dean in something other than jeans,” Jo agrees.

“Imagine if they went full tux,” Sam says.

“Dean would’ve _killed_ Cas in a full tux,” Charlie comments.

Castiel smiles to himself, knowing they’re not wrong, and also amused that they’re aware of just how unbelievably attracted he is to Dean.

“Gonna kill him in _this,”_ Dean says from his room. “These pants fit like a damn glove.”

Castiel groans from his side of the door just imagining pants fitting so perfectly to Dean’s ass, causing Dean to chuckle from beside him. He steps into his own pants, and nods appreciatively as he fastens them.

“They’re so cute together,” Charlie says dreamily.

“Gross. They’re so gross,” Sam corrects.

“I second the pants,” Castiel says, turning to see the way they hug his ass so nicely. “They fit extremely well.”

He can hear the door to Dean’s change room open and he says, “Who’s gonna help me with the tie?” at the exact same time Charlie exclaims,“Holy batcrap! Look at his suspenders!”

“God, your shoulders look huge for somebody who only works out three days a week,” Sam comments. “That’s such crap.”

Castiel’s stomach flips with anticipation at the picture they’re drawing for him.

“I know!” Dean agrees excitedly. “I don’t know what it is. The shirt or the suspenders?”

“It’s the combination of a shirt that’s not off the rack _and_ the suspenders,” Castiel hears the tailor explain. “Just let me check the neck before I get your tie on. Can you stand here, please?”

“You were right about the pants. Look at your little bubble butt!” Charlie says gleefully.

“It’s easier to measure if you stay still, Dean,” the tailor says, and Castiel smiles when he realizes Dean was probably wiggling his ass.

“Sorry I missed _that,”_ he comments, making everybody laugh.

“You two know each other way too well,” Jo says.

Castiel finishes buttoning up his shirt, and leaves his tie hanging around his neck since he just heard what the tailor said about Dean. He tucks his shirt into his pants and gives himself a nod in the mirror. The shirt does fit extremely well, and considering he’s nowhere near as muscled as Dean but somehow looks fairly buff because of the shirt, he can only imagine how broad shouldered Dean must look in his.

“Does anybody at the wedding know how to tie your bowtie, or should I give you a crash course?” the tailor asks Dean.

“The photographer said he can do it,” Dean answers.

“Excellent. There you go. Full picture.”

“Oh my gosh,” Charlie says quietly.

“You clean up nice, Winchester,” Jo says next, and her voice is soft, too.

“I look dapper as fuck,” Dean comments.

“You really do,” Sam agrees. “God, I can’t believe you’re getting married. I’m so happy for you, man.”

“Stop it!” Charlie says on a broken sob.

“Aw, Charles, c’mere,” Dean says, and Castiel knows now that she’s crying.

“You look - you look _so happy!”_ she explains, then he hears Jo sniffle.

“Dammit, Charlie," Jo chokes out.

“Get in here,” Dean says, and she laughs. He hears, “There ya go, you big softie,” a second later, so he knows they must be having some kind of group hug.

 _“Please_ try not to get any mucous on the shirt,” the tailor says, sounding pained.

“Thank God mom isn’t here,” Sam says.

“Oh god, can you imagine?” Dean asks on a laugh.

“Good luck with that by the way,” Sam jokes.

“Alright, let me get one final look before we get your fiance out here,” the tailor says. “Does everything feel comfortable?”

“Feels awesome. I don’t know how I’m gonna go back to regular clothes after this.”

“You’re certain you want the sleeves rolled up for the ceremony?” the tailor asks.

“Yes.”

“Alright, I’ll pin it and make sure there’s a straight crease.”

Castiel slips into his vest, does up the few buttons, and then smooths the fabric down. It’s perfect, even with the tie hanging down his neck. This is so much better than the absurdly expensive suit Arthur insisted he wear to the courthouse. He feels like this is _him_ and he knows he’ll be comfortable enough in it to dance with Dean and Claire for the entire night. It might have something to do with the fact that he’s doing this with people he considers to be his family and some of his closest friends, but everything about this experience today is already realms better than when he did this the last time around.

“Alright, that’s it for you then. Mind the pins when you’re undressing.”

“Thanks, man. Really,” Dean says, and he can hear a soft clap on the back.

“It’s my pleasure.” A moment later the dressing room door closes, and the tailor says, “Okay, Castiel. You’re up.”

Castiel gives himself one last look in the mirror and then opens his door, stepping out in front of everybody with his head ducked shyly. He _hates_ people watching him, and he knows that’s exactly what’s about to happen.

Charlie, again, is the first voice he hears. “Oh no! Look how cute!” she gasps dramatically.

Already, he can feel a blush come to his cheeks, and steps onto the pedestal waiting for him. “Thank you, Charlie,” he says quietly.

“Wow, your eyes are always really blue, but the blue checkers makes them look like they’re glowing,” Jo says. “Dean’s gonna take one look at you and cry like a baby.”

“Um, thank you,” Castiel says, still feeling shy with everybody looking at him.

“This sucks! I wanna see!” Dean whines from behind his door. He’s glad he can’t see Dean’s pout, because he’d undoubtedly give into him if he could.

“Your idea, Dean,” Sam reminds him. Then Castiel turns as Sam steps closer. “You look great, Cas. How do you feel?”

“Other than being embarrassed because all of you are looking at me -”

“We’re looking at you because you’re all kinds of adorable,” Charlie interrupts, only causing his blush to deepen.

“- I feel good. Great, actually. This is already a much better experience than my last wedding.”

“That’s because your last husband was a colossal douchebag,” Dean says angrily.

“Neck, please,” the tailor says, and Castiel notices his lips are twitching as he steps up on the pedestal next to him. Castiel bows his head and he measures around his neck, slipping his finger inside the collar. “Perfect fit. Doesn’t feel too tight?”

“No, it feels fine.”

“Tie on, then,” he urges him.

He has no idea how to tie a tie properly, and Sam must sense his distress because he says, “I got it,” before he steps up to grab one end in each hand.

“Thank you, Sam,” Castiel says as Sam starts tying the knot.

“What’re brothers-to-be for, right?” he says kindly.

“Ugh, why are you guys like this?” Charlie says, her voice high-pitched all over again.

Sam laughs lightly, and Castiel is close enough to see the happiness and amusement shining in his eyes. “I had no idea you were such a crier, Charlie,” Sam says, still working on his tie.

“I’m not!” she says as she wipes at her face hurriedly.

“She so is,” Dean argues.

“Oh, like you’re one to talk. You’re probably crying right now,” she says back.

“Am not,” Dean returns childishly.

“You will be when you see how handsome your fiance is, though,” she tells him.

“You two seriously lucked out in the looks department,” Jo agrees.

“We are two handsome sons of bitches, huh, Cas?” Dean asks.

“If you say so,” Castiel says halfheartedly.

“Do you not like the way you look in this?” Sam asks, tightening the knot.

“No, I love it. I just don’t think I’m as handsome as Dean seems to think I am.”

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” Dean says passionately.

“Dean may be slightly bias, but you do look great,” Sam tells him. [“Look.”](https://imgur.com/gallery/uDQ54Oc) He nods towards the mirror in front of Castiel and steps out of the way to let him get a good, full bodied look at himself.

Jo was right, the blue in his shirt really does bring out his eyes. The vest somehow accentuates his shoulders, making them look wider than they really are, while also making his waist look nice and trim. His tweed vest and matching tie are going to go perfectly with the rustic theme they decided on, and he can’t wait to see the tiny boutonniere he’ll be wearing to match Claire’s flower crown.

“It’s perfect,” he says to the tailor.

“I agree. No alterations required for you.”

“You two are going to look _so good_ together,” Jo says.

“You really are. Both outfits are so different but will complement each other perfectly. You did a great job picking this stuff out,” Sam says.

Castiel pins him with an amused look. “You know as well as I do that Jess is the one who picked them out.”

Sam shrugs. “Not the way she tells it.”

“I wish she was here to see,” Castiel says. He and Jess spent hours together clicking through photos online trying to find the right look for both himself and Dean. They've exchanged dozens of emails and hundreds of texts, and their friendship is closer now than he’s had with anybody in _years._

“Believe me, it wasn’t easy trying to get her to stay behind. Mom has Claire, but she knew she’d never go down for a nap if Bentley was there too,” Sam explains. “I did promise pictures though, so smile for the camera,” he says, pulling his phone out.

Castiel smiles on cue and Charlie comes up next and tucks her tiny frame into his arms. Still not used to how easy she is with affection, it takes him a second to hug her back. When he does, she says, “Thanks for making Dean so happy. You should’ve seen him in his wedding stuff, Cas. He was glowing.” She says it with her voice low enough that he knows she doesn’t want Dean to hear.

“Let me know if he ever stops looking that happy,” he asks her quietly.

“Pinky swear,” she says, holding up her pinky finger. He frowns, having never actually done this before, but hooks his finger around hers anyway. Then she completely catches him off guard by rising to her tiptoes and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks bud.”

“Charlie’s kissing Cas,” Sam calls out in a sing-song voice.

“Neener neener neener,” she teases.

“Can’t really blame her,” Dean says, making Castiel shake his head in exasperation at the scene they’re causing.

“Did you get everything you needed?” Castiel asks the tailor.

“All good. You can go get changed now,” the tailor responds.

“Thank you.”

He scurries off quickly to get away from being the center of attention and closes the change room door behind him. He hears Dean’s open almost immediately, and listens to everybody tell Dean how handsome they both looked in their outfits. Once he’s back in his jeans, he goes back out to stand by Dean’s side and join everybody else.

“How you doin’?” Dean checks quietly, resting his hand on Castiel’s lower back.

“I’m okay. It was slightly nerve wracking with everybody looking at me, but at least it was just our friends.”

“Everybody said you looked good. Was it what you wanted?”

“Exactly what I wanted,” Castiel confirms.

“Good,” Dean says, leaning in to peck him on the lips. “Gotta make sure you get everything you want with this wedding ‘cause it’s your last shot,” he tells him. “Let’s go make that last payment, huh?”

Castiel nods, eager to cross another thing off of the now almost non-existent to-do list. They walk over to the front desk hand in hand, and Castiel watches while Dean writes a check for the rest of the balance on their clothes.

“So somebody will be by to pick these up on the 7th?” the tailor checks.

“Yeah, we haven’t exactly delegated yet, but somebody will be here.”

“Probably me,” Sam says. “I’ve offered myself as the gopher for the wedding day.”

The tailor takes the check and stamps their invoice _paid in full._ “Do you want the bow tie for your dog now or on the day of the wedding?”

Castiel whirls on Dean. “You got Chevy a bowtie?”

Dean’s face splits on a big smile. “Yeah. It was gonna be a surprise, but since he’s gonna be at the wedding, I figured he could match me.” It’s such a Dean thing to do, that he can’t help it when he looks up at him with all the love in the world in his eyes. He can see Dean’s eyes light up up, and he knows he’s looking at him through his eyelashes in the way Dean likes so much, so he isn’t surprised at all when Dean leans down to kiss him softly. Dean cups the back of his neck to hold him in place, and when he would have pulled away considering they’re right in front of the tailor, Dean holds him in place and lingers for just another few seconds before he lets him free.

“I was going to apologize for ruining the surprise, but it looks like you’re okay with it,” the tailor says with a smile.

“I apologize. Dean often isn’t able to contain his enthusiasm,” Castiel tries to explain.

“You mean he can’t keep his hands off of you,” Charlie says from behind him.

“Or his lips,” Jo says.

“Ah, you’re young and in love. I’m happy to see it, honestly,” the tailor says. “If I don’t see the two of you before the big day, I do hope you enjoy yourselves and each other as much as you have today.”

“Thank you very much. I really had a great experience working with you,” Castiel says.

“Same here. We’ll recommend your store to anybody who asks," Dean chimes in.

“I appreciate that. I hope to have your business again someday.”

They say goodbye and walk out of the store. Then Castiel nudges Dean, and Dean must remember what they talked about earlier because he tosses the keys to Charlie and says, “Hey, can you guys go wait in the car for a minute? We just need to talk to Sam for a quick sec.”

“Ohhh boy, I can’t believe he just gave me the keys!” Charlie says excitedly. “C’mon Jo, let’s go steal Baby.”

Dean looks surprisingly calm as the two of them run away giggling, and Castiel looks at him with confusion. “They’ll never be able to get her out of that spot,” Dean explains, which makes him chuckle.

“What’s up, guys?” Sam asks.

Dean looks at Castiel, but Castiel shakes his head, so Dean says, “Remember when we talked about not having anybody standing with us at the wedding and just having it be about me and Cas and Claire?”

“Yeah, of course,” Sam answers.

“Well, Cas talked me last week and we sorta changed our minds. We want you to be our best man.”

Sam tilts his head and furrows his brow. “You what?”

“We want you to be best man,” Castiel says this time. “For both of us, if you’re willing.”

“And stand with us,” Dean clarifies.

“I mean, I’d love to, really. But I know that Cas doesn’t have any brothers or anybody as close to him as I am to you -”

“Until you,” Castiel interrupts him, stopping him mid-sentence. “Ever since you and I spoke at my office that day, I know you’ve made more of an effort to include me instead of everything being just you and Dean.”

“Well, yeah. You pointed out to me that it was me and Dean against the world, and I mean, it always used to be that way. But with Jess and now you, it shouldn’t be like that anymore. I want what’s best for Dean, and that’s _you and him_ as a unit, not me and him.”

And just like that, he knows he made the right decision. “And that’s exactly why I want you to stand for me, as well. If you’re agreeable. You really have become like a brother to me in these last few months, and I’d be honored if you’d be willing to stand for me, too.”

Sam nods as he runs a hand down his face, pressing his lips into a tight line and looking resolutely down at the ground. “Don’t you start cryin’ on me now, too,” Dean says, and Sam laughs.

“C’mere, man,” Sam says to Castiel, and then he’s pulled against his very tall frame and gets several strong pats on the back from him before Sam lets him go.

Sam looks him straight in the eye with a huge smile on his face when he says, “I’d love to be your best man.”

Dean wraps his arm around Castiel’s waist, and gives him a little squeeze. “Well, this day is officially perfect,” he says happily.

“I just have one question,” Sam says to Dean with his voice considerably lighter. “If I’m your best man, and Castiel’s best man, that means I’m better than both of you, right? I'm the _best_ best man?”

“I told you he was gonna do that!” Dean says to Castiel, poking him in the ribs.

“You did,” Castiel laughs, batting him away.

“I’m right, right?” Sam asks.

“Whatever makes you happy, Sam,” Castiel says lightly. Then before Dean can protest, he turns to whisper in Dean’s ear, “You know I’ll always think you’re the best man.” He presses a smacking kiss to his cheek before he puts some space between them again.

“Do I need to get different clothes or anything?” Sam asks.

“Nah, still casual. Whatever you were gonna wear before is fine,” Dean says.

“If you’re up for the challenge, we would really appreciate it if you would try to wrangle Claire during the ceremony. We know she doesn’t really understand what’s going on, and as much as we want to concentrate on just the two of us, we’d also like her close to us. If you could help to keep her entertained long enough for us to exchange vows we’d be very grateful.”

“I’m on it,” Sam promises. “Thanks guys. This is awesome.”

“Alright, let’s get out of here before Charlie actually does take off with my car and then I have to kill her.” Castiel laughs at how serious Dean says that. “See you tomorrow, Sasquatch.”

“See you later, guys. And thanks, Cas,” Sam says again.

Castiel waves and he and Dean walk back towards the car.

“Okay, what was that all about? I saw that manly hug between you two!” Charlie says to Castiel the second they get their doors open. When he doesn’t respond instantly, she whirls on Dean. “I’m your _best friend_ , Dean Winchester, you can’t just keep me in the dark!”

“If you’d shut up for two seconds I could tell you,” Dean says on a laugh. Charlie mimes zipping her lips and Dean says, “We asked Sam to be the best man.”

“About damn time,” she says, sitting back in her seat.

“What’s that mean?” Dean asks.

“There was no way Cas was ever gonna let you get married without Sam up there with you. He’s tuned into you like a damn radio,” she says.

Dean turns to look at him and Castiel shrugs. “I meant what I said about feeling like he’s a brother to me, but I also know how important it was to you that he stand with us.”

“Told ya,” Charlie says smugly.

“Hmm. How about we drop the girls off so we can get home before Claire wakes up and I can show you just how thankful I am?” Dean asks suggestively.

Castiel laughs. “We still have to go put the last payment on the flowers and approve the centerpieces at the decorators.”

“Uggggh,” Dean groans loudly, collapsing dramatically onto the steering wheel.

“But the bright side is we’re done after that,” Castiel reminds him. “Everything on our plate will be done in the next hour.”

“Yeah, okay. We got this, right?” Dean asks, looking at the girls in the rearview mirror.

“We are so pumped for flowers, you have no idea,” Jo deadpans.

“Super pumped,” Charlie says in the same flat tone of voice, already looking down at her phone.

Dean huffs, but Castiel says, “True friends right there,” and Dean’s huff turns into laughter, and Castiel knows there’s nobody he’d rather be laughing with than him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Point to note: this was written before the whole, "My wife's my rock, but Jared and Misha are my pebbles," thing at JIB.


	12. You're Invited...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wedding invitation created by the fabulous and incredibly talented artist, and my dear friend, Olivia!
> 
> You can see some other fantastic art she has created on her Redbubble page [ here,](https://www.redbubble.com/people/olivialettering) or follow her [ on Twitter](https://twitter.com/waywardandwine) to get to know one of the kindest people you will ever meet!

 

Coming Monday, July 16th.

The moment you've all been waiting for...

 

> Bring the tissues ❤️  



	13. Chapter 13

“Daaaa! Daddyyyy!”

Castiel rolls over and reaches for Dean before he remembers with a jolt that he’s not here. He slept alone last night for the first night in a year and a half because today is their wedding day.

That thought fills him up like air in a balloon, and the very next second he’s on his feet and walking to Claire’s room to greet her and Chevy, who’s curled up on Claire’s bed beside her. Once Chevy sees him, he hops down and runs over, butt wagging in excitement when he bends to pet him.

“Good morning, guys,” Castiel says to both of them.

“Hi dad! Daddy?” Claire asks, tilting her head to the side.

“Daddy’s at grandma’s today,” he reminds her. “We’re getting married!”

Claire lets out a string of babble while pointing to her clothes and running her tiny hands through her bedhead, and Castiel knows exactly what she’s talking about even though she isn’t using actual words. “Yes, you get to wear your pretty dress and have flowers in your hair today,” he says. “But first we need to get you out of your diaper, okay?”

“No pee!” she tells him.

“Is Claire dry?” he asks, and she nods her head yes. “Let’s check.” He feels her diaper from the outside and it _does_ feel dry. “Lie down for me, sweetie.” She does, so he pulls her diaper down and checks inside, and it certainly seems dry. He plays up his excitement for her. “You did it! You were dry all night long! That’s such a big girl!”

“Pee,” she says.

“You have to pee now?”

She nods her head again so he lifts her onto the ground, and she takes off - bare butt exposed - on a run down the hallway with Chevy close on her heels. He grabs her pajama bottoms and follows, helping her wash her hands when she’s all done and then leading the way into the kitchen.

“Chevy needs to go pee, too,” he says, opening the door to let him go out. Then he turns and starts his coffee before grabbing two bowls for cereal for himself and Claire. She’s watching Chevy out the window as he does his morning sniff around the perimeter, so he adds cream and sugar to his coffee before he pours them their cereal. Once Claire hears the cereal hit the bowl, she turns and climbs up onto her seat.

“Num-nums,” she says. Then as she looks around she adds, “Uh oh!”

“What’s the matter?”

In answer, she slides off her seat and walks over to open the drawer where the utensils go.

“Dad forgot to get spoons,” he realizes.

“A poon,” Claire repeats.

“Two spoons, please. Dad needs one, too.”

She grabs two and walks back to the table, getting into her seat once again and using the spoons as drumsticks until he places her bowl in front of her. Then she holds a spoon out for him. “Thank you. Please be careful so you don’t spill your cereal, okay?”

“Kay.”

Thankfully she’s always been a good eater, so she digs in and he’s able to sit and wake up for a couple of minutes while he sips his coffee and eats his cereal. It’s almost eight, and he has two and a half hours to tidy the house up one last time before Jess and Charlie show up to help with Claire for when the decorators get there at 11:00.

Their plan is to keep Claire awake through her morning nap, hoping that she sleeps longer for her afternoon nap so that she can stay up later and enjoy more of the reception. Which means he’ll have Claire to keep an eye on, the decorators and the caterers to deal with, and himself and Claire to try to get ready all before everybody else shows up. He’s incredibly thankful for the help they offered, because he knows he’s going to need it.

For now though, he’s just going to enjoy the little bit of time he has with Claire. It’s their last day together before Dean officially becomes a part of their family, and in a way, he’s glad he gets to spend this time with her. It was just the two of them for some of the hardest months of his life, and when he thinks about how far they’ve come, he can hardly believe where they started.

Once they’re both done eating, he has to fight the urge to start tidying up immediately. Instead, he tells himself he’s going to spend an hour just playing with Claire. They start out in front of the television when she points and says, “On.” He pulls her into his arms and does all the things he always does when he wants to remember a moment with her.

He closes his eyes and inhales the scent of her hair, which is currently fruity from when Dean washed her hair in the bath last night. He brushes his fingers through it, stopping to untangle her curls gently whenever he needs to. He tugs lightly on the tightest curls, watching each one as it goes straight and then coils back when it’s released. He takes her hand in his, palm to palm, and looks at the size of her hand compared to his. He looks at her fingers, which are still tiny but so much bigger than when her entire fist could barely wrap around his pinky finger. He remembers when she first started taking steps and how she used to hold onto one finger on each hand before she was steady enough to let go.

She’s grown so much, and he’s grown so much because of her. Because of her _and Dean_ \- the man he’s marrying today - he corrects with a smile.

When Claire’s morning cartoon is over, she gets up to go play trains in the play room, and he joins her. After that, they both get dressed in regular clothes for the day and they take a walk with Chevy. As usual on a Saturday, their walk takes twice as long and is half the distance of Chevy’s regular walks, but he keeps Chevy entertained and makes sure he gets his exercise by throwing sticks so he can chase them. If all goes well, he’ll go for a quick run with him again before all the guests show up to help him get rid of excess energy.

He snorts to himself about how he just volunteered to go for a run with the dog, something he would have sworn he’d never take up in his life. But honestly, ever since he started running, he’s felt better about himself and has even come to enjoy it when the weather’s nice. Dean has certainly enjoyed the way his body has changed, too - fitter, tighter - and he hasn’t been shy about showing it. He knows he’s attracted to him either way, but though he’d never tell Dean, he secretly enjoys the way he looks at him with even more heat in his eyes now.

Thinking about Dean reminds him that he hasn’t checked his phone at all today, which is foolish considering how many people may potentially be reaching out to him. Once he and Claire get back home, she goes back to the play room and he grabs his phone.

Which Dean has been blowing up… since last night, apparently.

 

 **DEAN:** What’re you doing?

 **DEAN:** Probably sleeping.

 **DEAN:** I’m totally lame but I can’t sleep without you :(

 **DEAN:** I miss you already

 **DEAN:** Damn, I wish I was home.

 **DEAN:** Hey, it’s after midnight. It’s officially our wedding day. I can’t believe it’s finally here <3

 **DEAN:** Okay, I’m gonna try to sleep again.

 **DEAN:** Nine hours, only woke up looking for you about a dozen times. But it doesn’t matter because WE’RE GETTING MARRIED TODAY!!!! (Think of Monica, except I wasn’t running so I didn’t fall down lol)

 **DEAN:** I miss you and Claire. Get her to call me later?

 **DEAN:** Hellllloooo? I know you were sleeping last night but there’s no way Claire let you sleep past nine.

 **DEAN:** You know if you bail on me I’ll just hunt you down and drag your ass back to the altar.

 **DEAN:** Seriously, text me, okay?

 

That’s the last message from Dean from just over an hour ago.

He has two texts from Sam, as well.

 

 **SAM:** Happy wedding day! Let me or Jess know if you need anything earlier than we had planned. The best man is here to serve!

 **SAM:** PS. Dean is freaking out over you not answering him, so if you don’t want him barging in there I suggest you message him back

 

 **CASTIEL:** Good morning, my love. I’m sorry I didn’t hear your messages last night… and that I forgot to grab my phone when I got Claire up. I’m not bailing <3 I love you.

 **DEAN:** Only six hours until I get to see you again. At the altar. You freaking out?

 **CASTIEL:** Not yet. Are you?

 **DEAN:** Not over marrying you. Just over being away and not being able to help you with everything today.

 **CAS:** Jess and Charlie will be here soon. Don’t worry about me!

 **DEAN:** Promise you’ll ask for help if it gets to be too much? I don’t want you to be stressed out all day long on what’s supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life

 **CASTIEL:** I promise I’ll ask for help. Did you really not sleep well?

 **DEAN:** Slept like shit, but I’ve had a bunch of coffee and I think the adrenaline is gonna keep me going

 **DEAN:** Plus, I know I get to sleep with my husband tonight :)

 **CASTIEL:** And every night for the foreseeable future :)

 **DEAN:** What’s Claire doing?

 **CASTIEL:** Playing trains. She’s only asked for you a hundred times.

 **DEAN:** That’s my girl! Let me FaceTime with her when Jess gets there, k? Still don’t want you to see me even if it’s on a phone.

 **CASTIEL:** I still can’t believe you’re this superstitious. It’s adorable :)

 **DEAN:** I AM adorable, but I just don’t want to take any chances. I want this to last  <3

 **CASTIEL:** It will. I’ve never been more sure of anything. I have to go tidy up now, though. You okay, now?

 **DEAN:** The house was spotless when I left late last night, so don’t overdo it. I’ll ttyl. Love you.

 **CASTIEL:** I love you too xoxoxo

 

By the time the house is tidied up, he can hear Jess pull into the driveway with a honk. Looks like she picked up Charlie, which was a smart move considering the parking situation they’re going to have, and he quickly hits the button to open the garage so she can pull in.

Bentley comes through the door first, and there’s a squeal of excitement from Claire that has Chevy come running, and then just as fast as Bentley appeared, he, Claire, and Chevy all take off towards the playroom without Bentley even saying hello.

“Hey, groomie,” Jess says as she comes inside.

Castiel smiles at the nickname, and his smile only gets bigger when he sees the tray of coffee Charlie has in her hand. “Figured you might need a pick me up,” Charlie says.

“It definitely wouldn’t hurt. Thank you. And thank you for coming.”

“Like I’d miss this! Besides, my spidey senses tell me you’re going to be the calm one out of the two of you,” Charlie says.

“Yeah, I can confirm that. I just left Mary’s, and Dean’s almost got a hole worn into the floor from pacing already,” Jess says with a laugh.

“Called it! Where can we put our stuff?” Charlie asks.

“Just in our bedroom is fine. I can take it for you,” he offers.

“Thanks,” she says, handing it over. “If there’s a closet to hang the only fancy dress I own that would be great.”

“Me, too,” Jess says, handing Castiel both the bag over her shoulder and her garment bag. “Now tell me where I can park my ass until I have to get up to pee again in ten seconds.”

“Wherever you’ll be most comfortable. Anywhere is fine,” he says as he goes to put their stuff away.

Once he comes back into the room, he sees Jess hasn’t sat down at all, and instead, she and Charlie are bent over the pallet of small potted plants. “Do you like them?” he asks anxiously.

“They are _so_ cute!” Jess answers, straightening up with a hand resting on her very round belly.

“I gotta say, I thought it was kinda weird when Dean first told me about plants as wedding favors, but these are totally adorbs. The little sign really pulls it all together,” Charlie says.

 _“Let love grow,”_ Jess says aloud. “It’s so sweet.”

“I’m glad you like them. I might be giving up gardening now that I put fifty of them together, though,” he admits.

“Dean didn’t help?” Jess asks.

“Dean did all of the little tags,” Castiel tells them. “His handwriting is neater than mine.”

“He did this?” Jess repeats, obviously surprised. “Wow. Whenever he’s written in a card for me it’s barely even legible.”

“I’m fairly certain you didn’t offer the same motivation I did,” Castiel says, grinning.

“Oh snap! Cas pulled out the big guns,” Charlie laughs.

Jess rubs her protruding belly and Castiel asks, “How are you feeling?”

“Today’s a good day. The little bean knows to be good for mommy today, don’t you?” she says, obviously talking to her belly. “Kicking up a storm right now. Do you wanna feel?”

“Yes, please,” he answers, as he always does when she asks. He reaches out and presses his hand to the space she’s pointing at, and he starts smiling as he immediately feels tiny thumps beneath his hand. “That’s amazing. I can’t believe my little niece or nephew is in there. Hey little baby, this is Uncle Cas,” he says shyly, grinning even bigger when he feels another kick.

“Oh em gee. Dean must go all goo-goo eyed when he sees you do that,” Charlie comments.

“Every single time. It’s hilarious,” Jess says, smiling fondly at him. “The whole kicking thing gets old after awhile though,” she says, but he disagrees silently. He always takes the offer of feeling the baby move, and he’s yet to stop being in awe over how her body’s changed to accommodate the growing baby inside of her. It’s really beautiful, and at the same time, he now understands what Dean was talking about before about wanting to be there to see their baby grow before it’s even born. “Now I’m just ready for him or her to come out.”

“Another six weeks, right?” Charlie asks.

“Don’t remind me.”

“You’re really selling the whole growing humans thing,” Charlie says sarcastically.

“I actually love being pregnant most of the time, it’s just the last two months that start to get to me,” she explains. “Worth it, though.”

“Let’s sit down before everybody gets here,” Castiel suggests.

They each take a seat and drink their coffee until he hears several cars pull into the driveway. From that point on, there’s always something to do, and the day flies. He does manage to get away for thirty minutes to take a run with Chevy before Jess goes to pick up McDonald’s for them and the kids for lunch, and by the time Claire’s done eating and he gets her down for a nap (after she keeps trying to get out of bed to play with Bentley), it’s 2:00.

Dean was absolutely right about Charlie being the best choice to stay with him to keep things moving smoothly, because every time he looks, she’s answering questions and making corrections so that everything is exactly the way they talked about. He takes five minutes to stand on the deck and watch while his backyard is slowly transformed into the wedding of his dreams right before his eyes, and he startles when he hears a deep voice from behind him.

“How you doing, Cas?”

He turns to see Sam’s large frame and beams at him. “Great. How’s Dean?”

“A lot less great than you are, but it’s just the waiting he’s having a hard time with,” Sam tells him with a small laugh. “He’s driving everybody crazy.”

“It’s starting to get to me, too,” Castiel admits.

“Well, I’m here with your outfit,” he says, wiggling his fingers on the hanger he’s holding over his shoulder. Castiel notices for the first time Sam’s already in a button down shirt and a pair of slacks and loafers. “So why don’t you go hop in the shower and start getting ready? I gotta head back to mom’s in just over a half hour for pictures, but I wanted a chance to check in here, too.”

“Thank you, Sam. As you can see, Charlie has everything under control,” he says, nodding towards her trying to move giant tree trunks that are much too big for her tiny frame.

“Maybe I’ll go give her a hand with that while you shower,” Sam says, already moving quickly down the stairs. “Charlie! Hang on a second!”

“I - got - this,” she pants, right before she loses her balance and ends up flat on her back. “I don’t got this,” she says, sending Sam into a burst of laughter. Castiel turns to go into the house with a smile on his face, but gets sidetracked when the doorbell rings and Chevy goes running through the hallway to wait at the door.

“I got it,” Jess calls out, trying to get herself off of the couch.

“No, don’t get up! I got it,” he insists. “Sit, Chevy. Stay.” He pulls open the door to a petite redhead standing there. “Hi, may I help you?”

“I’m Anna, Balthazar’s assistant,” she says, sticking her hand out. “I’ll be taking photos of you, Claire, and the girls while Balth is over at Dean’s.”

“Oh right,” he says, just now remembering. “Please come in. This is Chevy,” he says. Anna crouches down and holds her hand up for Chevy to sniff before she scratches his ears and he flops over for a belly rub. “I’m afraid I’m running just a little behind. I’m about to hop in the shower.”

“Not a problem at all. We’re on your schedule, so just take your time, and I’ll go out to get some shots of the yard if that’s okay?”

“That would be great. Jess?” Jess is already on her feet and waddling over to greet Anna.

“Hi, I’m Jessica. Wife of the best man, future sister-in-law, signature pregnant lady at the wedding,” she says, shaking Anna’s hand. “Come with me and I’ll point you in the right direction. And don’t worry about your shoes.”

“Nice to meet you,” Anna responds.

“Go do what you have to do, Cas,” Jess says kindly, probably because he’s just standing there looking and feeling a little lost. “I’ll take care of this.”

“Please come find me once you’re decent but before you’re totally dressed. I’d like to get some photos of the best man helping you with the finishing touches,” Anna tells him.

As he goes into the bedroom and locks his door behind him, the butterflies come alive in his stomach. He’s about to have a shower and then dress _for his wedding_. For his _second_ wedding at twenty-eight years old. When his stomach flips with nerves, he takes a deep breath as he strips off his clothes and heads into the bathroom. The scent of the body wash he and Dean share billowing in the steam of the shower is comforting, and he relaxes just from that.

He and Dean have a home and a life together already, and there’s no need for him to even _think_ about how terrible his first marriage ended up. The relationship he and Dean have is absolutely nothing like what he had with Arthur. It’s not going to turn out the same way because Dean loves him and Claire, and Arthur never did. This is the way it was always supposed to be, and he isn’t going to bring his day down by thinking about the monstrosity of his first marriage anymore.

As the butterflies begin fluttering in his stomach again, he realizes even the nerves he’s feeling have nothing to do with getting married to Dean, it’s just because he’s nervous that something will go wrong. He wants everything to be perfect today because if anybody deserves that on their wedding day, Dean does.

Once he’s showered, shaved, and has groomed his hair into actually (mostly) laying down, he steps into his pants and shirt. He buttons up the shirt, though not all the way to the neck, and takes off in search of Anna still barefoot. She’s on the deck, so he pops his head out and lets her know he’s ready to finish getting dressed.

Jess and Charlie come to get their dresses from the closet, and the two of them go get dressed while Anna takes some photos of Sam knotting and straightening his tie for him. Jess and Charlie come back into the room once they’re ready, and Castiel can hardly believe his eyes.

“You both look _beautiful,”_ he tells them.

“I know, right?” Charlie says, twirling to show off her dress. “Good thing there’s no bride to stand up because hot damn!”

“I look like a whale,” Jessica complains.

“That's not true at all,” Castiel insists, stepping forwards to rub her belly gently. “You’re stunning. You still have that pregnant lady glow, and it’s _not_ your greasy face,” he tells her.

“I like this guy,” Jess says to Charlie, covering his hands with hers and giving them a quick squeeze. “Thanks Cas.”

Anna asks to take pictures of them helping out, too. She stages a photo of Charlie smoothing down his vest, and one of her just holding on to it and looking up at him. It’s impossible not to smile genuinely at the impish smile that’s always on his friend’s face, and he impulsively scoops her up off of the floor and into a big hug to make her laugh.

When he puts her down and lets her go, Jess is standing in front of him with her hands on her hips and eyeing him with scrutiny. “Listen, your hair’s cute like that, but you really look so much hotter when it’s all over the place.”

“I didn’t think that was appropriate for a formal occasion like a wedding,” he explains, trying not to flush at Jess calling him hot. His eyes flick to Sam to make sure he isn’t mad, and he’s just leaning against the wall with a small, amused smile on his face. He hopes to have his easy confidence some day.

“Yeah, but you gotta know how much Dean loves the sex hair,” Charlie butts in. “It’s part of why he fell for you in the first place.”

“Here, let me fix it for you,” Jess offers, and with the reminder of how he would make Dean happier with messier hair, he nods his head. Jess is almost as tall as he is, so he doesn’t even have to bend for her to run her hands through his hair, though her baby belly does keep bumping into him and making him laugh while Anna snaps more pictures. “There,” she says with a satisfied smile.

[He turns to look in the mirror](https://i.imgur.com/RlcpPGO.jpg) and nods his approval. He looks more like himself this way.

“Much better. You look like the sex god Dean’s always bragging about now,” Charlie quips, and he flushes when Anna doesn’t quite manage to suppress a giggle.

“It’s always the quiet ones,” she comments, and he flushes even deeper.

“Alright, Cas. Not that the conversation isn’t riveting,” Sam says sarcastically, “but I gotta take off to go be the best man at mom’s. Everything okay here? Need anything else before I go?”

“Everything’s good. I just need to get Claire a snack and ready whenever she wakes up, and then start greeting guests as they show up.”

“Nope. Dean will be here by then, and you can’t see him. So you don’t have to worry about that,” Charlie says. “But before Claire wakes up, you should come check out the back yard. The decorators are ready to bail until after the ceremony, and we want to make sure everything’s exactly how you pictured it before they go.”

“Okay, let’s go do that. I’ll take some candid pictures of the three of you,” Anna offers.

“Alright, I’m outta here, then. But before I go, I have to give you this from Dean,” Sam says, pointing to a tiny white gift bag sitting on his dresser. He had seen it, but he thought it was a gift from one of the girls.

His first reaction is mixture of guilt and panic. “I didn’t get Dean anything!”

“Hey, relax,” Sam says calmly. ”You weren’t supposed to. I gotta get going, but take a look and you’ll understand.”

Castiel nods. “I’ll open it later,” he says, not wanting to open whatever it is in front of everybody. “Thank you for bringing it.”

“Let’s go see the yard,” Charlie says again, and Castiel says goodbye to Sam before he follows her out.

Once he gets onto the deck, he has to stop as his eyes fall upon the sight in front of him. Their backyard looks like some sort of fairyland. They even managed to make the playground look like it grew out of the ground, with branches and vines wrapping around it. The lights hanging between the trees overhead aren’t even turned on yet, and though they’re bigger than the fairy lights they had talked about so long ago, he already loves the way they look. The decorators had suggested bigger, more circular lights so that they wouldn’t need an alternate source of light once the sun goes down, and they’re _perfect_.

The wooden chairs are all set up with mason jar lanterns hanging on big hooks at the end of each row. Combined with the piles of white flower petals lining each side, they make up the aisle that he and Dean will walk down together. At the end of the aisle is their makeshift altar, which doesn’t actually include an altar at all. Instead, they’ll be getting married in front of [several large tree stumps](https://i.imgur.com/HA6MsJB.jpg) all standing up on end adorned with more mason jar lanterns. The stumps are different heights and widths, and the baby’s breath inside each jar makes all of it look incredibly beautiful even without the small tea lights turned on. He can imagine all too well how unbelievably gorgeous Dean’s going to look with the soft light flickering on his golden skin, and he can hardly catch his breath when he thinks about it.

“I think he likes it,” Jess says quietly from beside him.

Castiel clears his throat and blinks himself out of his trance. “It’s beautiful.”

“Right!?” Charlie exclaims. “The tree stumps with all the lanterns are _amazing.”_

“Makes me want to get married all over again,” Jess says dreamily.

“Let’s go check it out,” Charlie suggests.

They do just that and head down the steps to get a closer look at everything. Seeing as Castiel can’t bring himself to walk down the aisle without Dean, he walks along the side instead and laughs when Charlie and Jess prance down the aisle with linked arms and meet him in front of the stumps. There are several strings of lights hanging down directly above where he and Dean will be standing that he didn’t notice before, and he nods happily, knowing how shadowy their back yard gets once the sun begins to set.

“Get close together and I’ll take a picture of the three of you,” Anna offers. The girls move in on either side of him, each putting a hand on his chest, so he wraps one arm around each of them and smiles easily for the camera. Feeling emotional standing where he’s going to get married, barefoot in his own backyard with two of his favorite people, he lets his feelings spill out of him.

“Thank you both for being here today. I know you were Dean’s friends first, and that you’re only here because you feel bad for me because I don’t have any other friends -”

“Hellooo,” Jess cuts him off, laughing. “We’re going to be family in less than two hours. I’m not _only_ here because I’m Dean’s sister-in-law. If I met you without knowing Dean, we’d still totally be friends.”

“Samesies. You know me and _you know_ I don’t do anything I don’t wanna do. So don’t give me that self-patronizing hooha. Not today,” Charlie says firmly.

“I just meant that I know this isn’t where you would choose to be if you had your first choice,” Castiel tries to explain, not wanting to insult them or himself, but trying to express himself nonetheless.

“Hey Charlie, did you make the choice to be here or were you forced, bribed, or otherwise coerced to come?” Jess asks sarcastically.

“Definitely made the choice,” Charlie answers.

They both look at him with arched eyebrows, and he isn’t nearly foolish enough to argue any further. “Thank you for being here,” he says softly. “It really means a lot to me to have you both with me today.”

“You’re welcome,” they both say in unison, and then he gets another hug from both of them.

“Moooom,” Bentley calls from up on the deck.

“What’s up, buddy?” Jess asks, pulling away from Castiel.

“Claire’s awake!”

“That’s our cue,” Jess says, and all of them head back into the house.

He gives Claire an apple sauce and a yogurt, and with less than an hour to go until the wedding - which means it will likely be a half hour until guests start showing up - he brings Claire into her bedroom to get her ready.

He’s brushing her hair out when Jess comes in with a small bag of stuff and Claire’s flower crown in hand. “Do you mind if I curl her hair a bit?” Jess asks. “I know there’s already some curls at the bottom, but this will make it all more even and help her look a little bit more fancy.”

“Sure,” Castiel says, still mostly out of his depth when it comes to anything other than ponytails for Claire’s hair.

After prompting Claire to stay super still - and then deciding to let her watch cartoons on the iPad just in case - Jess sits down on the edge of Claire’s bed with Claire sitting on a small stool between her legs and curls her hair. Next, he helps her step into her dress with a silent prayer for her to keep it white until the ceremony. Anna takes several photos of him helping her into it, and then Jess puts her flower crown on her head and secures it with a bunch of pins.

It’s absolutely adorable, and his heart is basically mush just looking at her.

“Can I put some makeup on her?” Jess asks, pleading at him with her big blue eyes.

Castiel wavers. “Is it really necessary?”

“Just some blush on her cheeks and some lip gloss. Please, Cas? She’ll only get dressed up for your wedding once.”

“Peese dad?” Claire asks, glancing up at him with a pout and looking _so much_ like Dean he has to remind himself they’re not blood related.

“Jeez, she sure has Dean’s mannerisms down,” Charlie says from beside him,

“I was just thinking the same thing,” he says with a laugh. “Sure, Jess. Go ahead. Just not too much.”

“Dean’s gonna pitch a fit,” Charlie offers, and while Castiel agrees, he knows he won’t really be mad.  
Not today.

“Does Claire want some pretty makeup on?” Jess asks her.

“Peese!” Claire says excitedly, and Castiel chuckles softly. He watches as Jess puts it on her, and then Claire hops down and he gets to take in the full picture of [his little girl all dressed up](https://i.imgur.com/spqUob6.jpg) on his wedding day.

Tears spring unbidden to his eyes, and he crouches down to pull her in for a tight hug. Her little arms wrap around his neck and he whispers, “Dad loves you, Claire Bear.”

“Wuv you, da,” Claire says, and the way she says _da_ like she used to instead of dad like she does now, in this moment, causes the first tear to spill over. He’s so unbelievably happy.

Jess makes some kind of wet sound that effectively ruins the moment and has Castiel looking over to her in alarm, only to see tears streaming down her face and her trying and failing to hold in a sob.

“I’m fine,” she says fanning her face, her voice high-pitched. “It’s the stupid hormones.”

“Between her and Mary, I wish you luck getting through the ceremony,” Charlie says sarcastically.

“Did somebody say my name?” Mary asks, her voice preceding her into the room. _“Ah!”_ she squales. “Claire, sweetheart! Look at my beautiful little girl!”

“Mah-mah!” Claire says excitedly. “Look!” She points to the flowers on her head.

“Such pretty flowers!” Mary agrees.

“I’m just going to go get Bentley changed, and check in with Sam. Is he here?” Jess asks Mary.

“He is,” Sam says, also walking in.

“Dean?” Castiel asks anxiously.

“He’s here too, and he’s solid as a rock now that he’s home,” Sam reassures him. Castiel feels tension bleed out of him just knowing that Dean’s close by and more relaxed. “Balthazar wants some pictures of him and Claire together, so don’t come out the front of the house,” he says to Castiel. “Claire, wanna come see Daddy?”

“Daddy! Daddy peese, Mam!” she says, reaching up for Sam.

“Sam,” Sam says, emphasizing the _s_ sound. “I’ll be back in five,” Sam promises, picking Claire up and disappearing again. “Go get your shoes on,” he says to Castiel over his shoulder.

With only him and Charlie left in the room, Mary seems to notice him for the first time and brings her hands up to cover her mouth. “Oh, sweetie, you look so handsome,” she gushes, then approaches him with her arms held out. He hugs her tightly, squeezing his eyes closed when he realizes this is the closest thing he’s going to get to hugging a mother who loves him on his wedding day.

“Thank you for being here,” he whispers. “You’re the only mother figure I’ve got.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she whispers back. Then she sniffles as she bats at his shoulder playfully and pulls away. “I’ve been crying off and on all day with Dean. Don’t make me start again already.”

“Sorry,” he says, though he’s smiling. “Can you help me with my boutonniere?”

“I would love to,” she says softly. “Where is it?”

“In the fridge.”

“Why don’t you go get your shoes on, and I’ll go grab that for you, okay?” she says, giving his arm a little squeeze.

“I’m gonna go say hey to Dean now that Mary’s here, okay Cas?” Charlie asks.

“Yes, that’s fine. Thank you for everything today, Charlie. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I _am_ the best,” she replies, grinning, then she takes off to go find Dean.

Back in his bedroom, he sees Dean’s gift sitting there so he goes over to open it. It’s extremely light, and when he takes the tissue paper off the top, a single slip of paper flutters out. He grabs it and reads, _Just in case you get cold feet. I love you, Cas._ He digs into the bag and pulls out a single pair of rainbow striped dress socks.

He laughs quietly even as his eyes start to water again. It’s such a sweet, thoughtful, _Dean_ gesture to make that it makes him miss him almost painfully. This is the longest they’ve been apart in a long time, and although he was already looking forward to see him to marry him, now he wants to see him just to hug him.

“That was adorable,” Anna says from the doorway.

He looks up to see her standing there and smiles shyly. “I didn’t know you were there.”

“I know. Made for some great pictures, though.”

He sits on his bed to slip into his socks, then puts on his dress shoes. Mary comes in with his boutonneiere, and she steps forward to fasten it to his vest while Anna snaps more pictures. Mary lifts up onto the balls of her feet to wrap her arms around his neck for another long hug, and before she pulls away she whispers, “I’m so glad he picked you, Castiel. Thank you for loving my boy as much as he deserves.”

He squeezes her even tighter and whispers, “I promise I’ll take good care of him,” back to her.

“I know you will. Now,” she says, pulling away and giving him a watery smile. “Balthazar wants to get some photos of you and Dean holding hands around the corner of the house. You on one wall and him on the other. You won’t technically see each other. Is that okay?”

His stomach leaps with excitement at the prospect of getting to talk to Dean. “Yes,” he answers immediately. If Dean’s okay with it, he’s okay with it.

“I’ll go out first to make sure Dean’s out of sight, then I’ll be right back for you.” He takes what might be the last moment to himself for the rest of the day to quickly use the bathroom, and when he walks out to the front door Mary’s waiting for him. “Go get him tiger,” she says with a smile, and he hurries out the door towards where Balthazar and Anna are standing together.

“Well feast your eyes on that! You clean up rather well, Cassie,” Balthazar says as he approaches. “Giving your fiance here a run for his money.”

“I doubt that very much,” Castiel says honestly as he approaches the corner of the wall. “Dean?” he asks quietly.

“Hey, hon,” Dean says, and Castiel can hear his smile. “Miss me?”

“You know I did. How are you doing?” he asks quietly.

“Real good now that I’m home. You? How’re your feet?”

Castiel has a huge smile on his face when he says, “Comfortably warm and incredibly gay.”

“Just the way I like them,” Dean says with a soft laugh, and Castiel’s heart is already so full he thinks it might burst. “I love you so damn much.”

“I love you, too.”

“And Claire!? She looks freakin’ adorable but who the hell put makeup on her?”

He lets out a wet laugh, but before he can say anything, Balthazar interrupts. “Okay, love birds, pretend you like each other for a minute and hold hands.”

Everybody around them laughs at the joke. Without knowing what he’s reaching for, he just thrusts his hand out blindly, and when a familiar, warm, callused hand grips his, he feels something that was coiled tight inside of him relax slowly. _Dean._ This is his Dean. The man he loves more than almost anything, and the man who he’s about to marry.

“Feels damn good to feel you, Cas,” Dean whispers, low enough that he knows only he’ll be able to hear him.

“Me, too. I missed you so much.”

“Listen, you two. No matter how hard you stare at the wall, I promise you won’t be able to see through it,” Balthazar says, breaking the intimate moment between them. “Dean, look at me, please? And Castiel, look at Anna for me? Perfect. Good, Anna?”

“Got it,” Anna confirms.

“Lift your pant legs so we can see your matching socks,” Balthazar asks them, and Castiel beams when he thinks of Dean wearing gay socks, too.

“Deliciously gay,” Balthazar comments with a laugh. “Castiel, back inside you go. Dean, time to get into position to greet any lingering guests. Five minutes until go time,” he warns them.

Dean doesn’t let go of his hand though. “Hey, Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?” he asks, lips quirking at the oh-so-familiar way Dean asks him that.

“Wanna get hitched in, I dunno, about five minutes or so?”

Castiel snorts while everybody around them laughs. “What a great idea. I knew you were smart.”

“See you soon, hon,” Dean says, and with one more squeeze of his hand, he lets go and Castiel heads back into the house with Claire on his hip. He brings her to use the bathroom, and gets her the little silver pail filled with flower petals she’s going to carry down the aisle. When Anna pokes her head in and says it’s time, he steps on to the deck and sees Sam standing in his spot next to the officiant.

He gives Claire a kiss on the cheek and leads her to the top of the stairs so she can see Dean.

“Go see Daddy, okay? He’s right at the bottom waiting for you. Then you get to throw your flowers,” he reminds her. “And try to be super quiet for Uncle Sam, okay?”

“Kay,” she answers, then he backs away and keeps his eyes on the aisle waiting to see her walk down it. He can’t see where Dean’s standing at the foot of the stairs, and Dean can’t see him, but he can hear him.

“Look at daddy’s pretty girl,” Dean says, pride and happiness easily heard in his voice. “You’re gonna go throw your flowers now, okay, princess? Uncle Sam’s waiting for you at the end with a special treat if you’re really quiet.”

Castiel chuckles at _special treat_ considering this is the first he’s heard of this, but he isn’t at all surprised by the bribe. The lullabye version of _Sweet Child of Mine_ starts playing over the speakers, and then he can see Claire start to walk down the aisle slowly. She’s obviously feeling slightly shy from everybody watching her, but then Chevy comes to walk by her side wearing a little green bowtie, and when she stops to pet him he laughs along with everybody else. Then Claire sees Sam, and she makes a bee-line for him, completely forgetting to throw the flowers as she goes. Chevy prancing down the entire time with Claire beside him elicits several _oohs_ and _ahhs_ from their family and friends, and Castiel can’t wait to see pictures of the expression on Claire’s face.

Once she gets to the end, Sam squats down to tell her something quietly that makes her nod, and there’s a moment of silence before the acoustic version of _What A Wonderful World_ begins. Castiel takes a final deep breath as everybody gets to their feet and fifty heads turn to face him, making his hands tremble with nerves. Castiel takes a couple of shaky steps until he’s at the top of the stairs, and _finally_ looks down to see Dean smiling up at him.

 _Home_ , is the first thing he thinks, and he instantly feels the majority of his nerves disappear.

To keep himself grounded, he allows three seconds of eye contact with warm green eyes that look spectacularly _more_ green due to his shirt, before he looks down at the steps to make sure he doesn’t fall flat on his face in front of so many people.

When he’s almost at the bottom, Dean’s waiting for him with his hand out, and Castiel accepts it eagerly while he takes the last few steps. Then he’s on the grass and able to look at Dean again, and his breath catches when he [gets a good look at him](https://i.imgur.com/tbThIhz.jpg). When he sees Dean checking him out, he lets his eyes sweep over him as well. His muscular frame is highlighted perfectly by his suspenders and the cut of his shirt. His pants are hugging his bow legs beautifully, and he can’t wait to get the first glimpse of the ass he loves so much. He smiles at his light green bowtie that matches Chevy’s, and lastly, he flicks his eyes back up to his face. The only thing that could possibly draw his gaze away from the adorable smattering of his freckles is the breathtaking smile on Dean’s face - that special smile Dean only ever smiles for him - and he feels his heart fall at his feet as his eyes begin to water.

His entire life he’s been waiting for this feeling, this moment, and here it is.

It’s everything he’s ever wanted.

Dean closes the space between them and cups his face in his hands. Just like that, they’re the only two people in the world, and he’s so happy he’s almost giddy with it.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean whispers. He sweeps his thumbs across Castiel’s cheekbones and Castiel can see that his eyes are already glittering with tears. He has to blink away his own when they start gathering, too.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel responds shakily.

“Wanna...?” Dean asks, tilting his head towards everybody watching them.

“More than anything,” he says honestly.

He holds his arm out, and Dean loops his through it. He covers Dean’s hand with his, wanting to be as connected to him as possible, and together, they start walking down the aisle and towards their future with their hearts overflowing with love.

_And I think to myself: what a wonderful world._

Once they get in front of the officiant, a friend of Jody’s she recommended, the music quiets down and Donna starts talking. “Welcome, family, friends and loved ones. We gather here today to celebrate the wedding of Castiel and Dean.”

“Hi dad! Hi daddy!” Claire says suddenly, and both he and Dean and everybody in the seats laugh as the heavy, formal feel in the air is shattered.

“Hi, sweetie,” Castiel answers her. “Nice and quiet, okay?” he reminds her.

He sees Sam smiling nervously and sweating profusely, and then he produces a lollipop that has Claire exclaiming, “Nummy teet!” which gets another laugh.

“Thank you, Sam,” Donna says with a bit of a laugh. Then she addresses the guests again. “You have come here to share in the commitment Castiel and Dean want to make not only to each other, but to the beginning of their new family with Claire as well. You’re here today to offer your love and support to this family, and to allow Castiel and Dean to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them.”

“Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships. No ceremony can _create_ your marriage; only you can do that - through love and patience; through dedication and perseverance; through talking and listening, helping and supporting and believing in each other; through tenderness and laughter; through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate your differences, and by learning to make the important things matter and to let go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as lifemates, partners, and in this case, parents.”

“Often marriage is viewed as the union of two people. But marriages do not only unite couples, they also unite families. With the changing structure of what a family is in today's world, we’re offered unique and wonderful opportunities to simply increase the number of loving, caring relationships we have in our lives. Castiel and Dean would like to take this moment to recognize the significant role that Claire plays in this union celebrated today.”

She pauses to look directly at them and says, “You are a family drawn together by love and held together by devotion.” He and Dean both nod their agreement.

“As Claire becomes a part of the Winchester family today, Dean would like to take a moment to show his commitment to her. Claire, honey, can you come see Daddy for a minute?”

Sam places Claire on the ground and she walks over to stand in front of Dean with a lollipop in her mouth. Dean crouches down on one knee and takes her hand in his. His voice is clear and steady when he says, “Thank you for sharing your dad with me, Claire. Thank you for allowing me to love you with all of my heart, and for loving me back the same way. I know I wasn’t there when you took your first steps, but I promise that from now on, I will be here to love and support you during every step you make for the rest of your life. Except maybe dating,” he jokes. Castiel’s tears are falling freely as he laughs at seeing the man he loves down on one knee in front of their daughter, and Dean reaches into his pocket to pull out a heart shaped locket on a silver chain that he opens to show her. He knows it has photos of each of them with Claire inside.

Claire pops the lollipop out of her mouth to say, “Oooh! Mine?”

“Yeah, buddy, it’s for you,” Dean answers, his voice thick with emotion. “I know you don’t know what I’m talkin’ about, but this necklace is a symbol of me and Dad’s love and devotion to you. We’re officially a family after today, and it’s all because of you. Here you go, blondie.” He loops it over her head and moves her hair out of the way so it falls onto her chest and then leans in to give her what must be a sticky kiss. He pats her soft curls and whispers just for them, “Bein’ your daddy is the best thing I’ll ever be. Thank you, Claire. I love you so much.”

“Wuv you, daddy.”

“Come here, Claire,” Sam asks her, and Claire walks back over still staring down at her necklace.

“Castiel and Dean have chosen a close friend of theirs to read a poem about family. Jo, whenever you’re ready,” Donna urges her. As discussed, Jo was seated in the front row, so she stands and aims a quick smile at both of them. She looks absolutely beautiful with her blonde hair curled and pinned out of her face, wearing a simple army green dress with an asymmetrical hem. Bracelets glitter at her wrist as she holds a small card in her hand, then she takes a few steps forward and turns to face to the crowd.

“A family is a place to cry and laugh and vent frustrations. To ask for help, to tease and yell. To be touched and hugged and smiled at. A family is people who care when you are sad, who love you no matter what, who share your triumphs and don’t expect you to be perfect, just to grow with honesty in your own direction.”

While Jo speaks, he watches Claire, who is currently sitting on the grass. She’s pulling some blades of grass out of the ground and making a small pile in her palm before she blows on them to make them all scatter. He exchanges a quick look with Sam, who looks apologetic (and still rather sweaty) but Castiel gives a slight shake of his head and an encouraging smile to let him know she’s fine.

“A family is a circle where we can learn to like ourselves, where we learn to make good decisions, where we learn to think before we do. Where we learn patience and table manners -”

Castiel arches a brow at Dean at that, and Dean beams at him, completely unashamed as per usual.

“- and respect for other people. A family is a place where we share ideas, where we listen and are listened to. Where we learn the rules of life to prepare us for the world. The world is a place where anything can happen, and if we grow up in a loving family, we are ready for the world.”

She finishes with a smile for them over her shoulder before she takes her seat again.

“Thank you, Jo. We’re now ready to proceed with the vows and the exchange of rings. I’ve been told they have them memorized, so let’s see what they can do under pressure,” Donna says, earning a small chuckle from the guests. “Dean, go ahead,” she prompts him.

Dean lets go of one of Castiel’s hands for a split second to dip into his pocket and come out with a ring. The same ring he bought Dean, he notices with a start. They hadn’t discussed matching rings, but he loves the sentiment immediately. Their eyes meet, and Dean smiles at him as he takes Castiel’s hand in his and begins to speak the words he’s been dreaming of hearing for oh so long.

“I choose you, Castiel Novak, to stand by your side and sleep in your arms. To be the warmth in your heart and the happiness in your soul. To learn with you and grow with you, even as time and life changes us both. I promise to love you forever as I love you today. To listen as you tell me your thoughts, to comfort you when you tell me your fears, and to encourage you when you tell me your dreams.” He can feel tears drip hot and fast down his face while Dean slides the ring on to his finger. “Take this ring as my promise to love you and only you, deeply and unconditionally. It is your heart that moves me, your mind that challenges me, your humor that amuses me, and your hands I wish to hold until the end of my days. I love you, Cas.”

“Castiel?” Donna prompts.

Castiel nods and takes a second to wipe his face before he gets Dean’s ring out of his own pocket. He takes Dean’s hand in his and repeats the same words back to Dean. “I choose you, Dean Winchester, to stand by your side and sleep with you in my arms.” Dean lets out a watery laugh when he hears the way he changed the words. “To be the warmth in your heart and the happiness in your soul. To learn with you and grow with you, even as time and life changes us both. I promise to love you forever as I love you today. To listen as you tell me your thoughts, to comfort you when you tell me your fears -” Dean’s first tear spills over, and he’s absolutely certain Dean’s thinking of all the nights he held him through his nightmares “- and to encourage you when you tell me your dreams.” He begins to slide Dean’s ring back onto his finger where it belongs when he says, “Take this ring as my promise to love you and only you, deeply and unconditionally. It is your heart that moves me, your mind that challenges me, your humor that amuses me, and your hands I wish to hold until the end of my days. I love you, Dean.”

Completely off script, Dean breathes, “I love you, too,” as he wipes his tears away.

“And now, you may kiss,” Donna says, and they both take half a step, meeting each other in the middle. Dean’s hands wind around his neck where his fingers tease at his hair, and his own hands fall on Dean’s lower back. Dean tilts his head down, then their lips press together in a passionate but chaste kiss full of love and joy. Dean’s familiar scent surrounds him, his mouth is warm and inviting, and his lips seem even more plush after so long without feeling them against his. He can feel this kiss burrow deeply into his memory: the way Dean’s hand strokes the back of his neck lovingly, the feel of Dean’s skin warm beneath his shirt, the way everything inside of him is yearning to be even closer to the man he loves most in the world. Though they had talked about making this brief, he feels himself sinking into it as their lips cling to each other’s desperately, and knows he would stay in this moment forever if he could.

They only break apart when a tiny body collides into his legs.

He looks down to see Claire smiling up at them with one arm wrapped around them both, and Dean laughs before he bends down and scoops her up.

“Hi daddy!” Claire says brightly.

“Always gettin’ in the middle of the good stuff,” Dean teases with a poke to her belly, and Castiel and everybody else laughs at his joke.

“True love is a rare thing in this world,” Donna says next. Dean presses his finger to his lips to remind Claire to stay quiet. “And considering there isn’t a dry eye in the yard right now, I think we can all agree that this love between Castiel and Dean is rare, and deserves to be celebrated today and always.”

Dean reaches out to slide their fingers together, and Castiel holds on, brushing his thumb across the back of Dean’s hand as Donna continues talking. “From today until forever, the Winchester home will be a place of happiness for all who enter it; a place for growing, a place for music and celebration, a place for laughter and love.”

Claire suddenly holds her arms out for Castiel, and Dean passes her between them without ever taking his eyes off of Donna. Claire reaches down to play with the flowers on Castiel’s vest, and he presses a kiss to the top of her head.

“When life seems to be too much or you just had a rough day, may your home always be a place of refuge where all three of you can find comfort in knowing that you will be accepted and loved unconditionally.”

Dean and Castiel share satisfied smiles, knowing this is it.

“Please rise in front of this beautiful family standing before us -” she pauses while everybody gets to their feet, “and share in my joy as I have the distinct pleasure of announcing the marriage of Castiel and Dean Winchester!”

With that, they both turn towards their guests with huge smiles on their faces, and all of their guests start clapping. They both chuckle as a recognizable hoot and holler is heard above everybody else that they _know_ came from Gabriel. He places Claire back down on her feet as the music kicks on and _Uptown Funk_ starts playing.

He catches Dean’s cheeky grin at the same time he bursts out laughing. They had decided on _Bittersweet Symphony_ to walk out to, but Dean obviously changed it, and while it’s completely inappropriate for a wedding, it’s also hilarious and perfectly _them._

He and Dean each take one of Claire’s hands, and they walk back down the aisle waving and smiling at all the people they love most in the world as they continue clapping for them.

It’s the happiest moment the three of them have ever shared, absolutely everything he’s ever wanted, and he knows he’s never smiled so big or felt so complete in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter next week to wrap up the rest of the wedding :) I hope you loved reading this chapter as much as I loced writing it <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a link in this chapter that leads to an explicit pornographic GIF - do not click if you don't wanna see!

They walk up the steps and into the kitchen where their wedding license is waiting for them. Claire runs right for her play room, and Castiel is glad considering how quickly Dean has him pressed against the counter as he ravishes his lips with a searing kiss. Dean pulls away much more quickly than he would have liked, but instead of putting space between them, Dean kisses him again and again, much more chastely but still more than enough to cause his head to spin.

“Fuckin’ love you, Cas,” Dean breathes between kisses.

“I love you so much,” Castiel replies.

“Can’t believe I talked you into marryin’ me,” Dean says, the joke visible in the twinkle of his eyes.

“I believe it was the other way around,” he smiles, fingers curling around Dean’s suspenders as Dean’s lips find his again. He nuzzles his way back to his ear and whispers, “You look incredibly sexy. So built, with your hips tapering to that delectable ass of yours. I’m not going to be able to tear my eyes off of you all night.”

Dean huffs out a bit of a laugh, but his fingers tighten on his shoulders. “I know the feeling. Never woulda thought I’d have a kink for a tweed vest, Cas, but shit. Would’ve jumped you the second I saw you if I could’ve.”

He hums with agreement as his hands slide up Dean’s broad shoulders. “You can take it off of me later.”

They’re interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat, and Castiel moves back to put some space between them, but Dean holds him in place. “Sorry, not sorry. It’s our wedding day and we get to be as gay as we want.”

“Oh, you betcha,” Donna agrees with a bright smile. “I just wanted to let y’all know you had an audience.”

“I don’t think that’s going to stop them,” Jess says, coming through the patio door and easing down into one of their stools with a sigh. Bentley speeds past them to take off towards the train table, and Sam walks in after him and towards Jess. He pulls her back against his chest as he begins to rub her shoulders and she visibly melts into him.

“Okie dokie. Are we all ready to sign, then?” Donna asks. Castiel is floored by the different persona she has now compared to how she was at the altar.

“Let’s make this official,” Dean says eagerly.

“Hel-lo?” Balthazar says, appearing in the doorway, huffing and wiping at his brow with clear annoyance written all over his face. Anna is barely a step behind him as they come into the kitchen. “Remember me?”

“Thought you were right behind us,” Dean says.

“We got stuck behind everybody moving to the front yard,” Anna says. “But it’s fine. You didn’t actually sign yet. Who’s listed first?”

“Dean,” Donna answers.

“Alright then. Dean, take a seat here,” Balthazar points. “And Cassie -” Castiel pins him with an unamused glare that only makes Balthazar’s smile spread. “You stand behind him and place your hand on his shoulder.”

They go through the motion of signing and posing as Balthazar asks, and then Donna smiles as she gives them one copy and keeps a copy for herself, explaining the process and telling them to expect something from the government in the mail in approximately six weeks. Once they get it, Castiel can change his name on all of his legal documents, though he can begin using Dean’s last name now. She checks if they need anything else, and when they say no, they walk her out and hug her before she takes off.

The next hour is spent taking pictures. Just like the family photos that turned into engagement photos, Balthazar starts with the pictures with the kids. They get a bunch of different photos of different groups of people, and several photos of just him and Dean. His favorites are the ones of he and Dean pushing Claire in the tire swing, and then him pushing Dean when he climbed in himself. He was smiling so much his face was starting to hurt. Dean was beyond attentive. He _never_ stopped touchinghim; holding hands, his arm wrapped around him, or his hand resting low on his back. They’ve kissed dozens of times, and instead of being shy about it like he usually is, he gives himself over entirely after Dean reminds him they’ll only ever have one wedding day. When they would typically get teased by either Sam or Charlie, today they stay silent, and Castiel soaks in every minute of the day, hoping desperately that he’ll be able to recall every moment for the rest of his life.

Charlie approaches them between pictures. “The caterers just told me they’re ready to serve dinner whenever you guys are. The backyard is all reset with tables, so we’re good to go.”

“I’m fuckin’ starved,” Dean says passionately. He turns to Balthazar, “Are we done?”

Balthazar nods his head. “We’re done when you want to be done. This is your day, after all.”

Dean tugs Castiel needlessly closer. “Did we get everything you wanted, hon?”

Castiel has a hard time flipping through his memory with Dean’s gaze so entirely focused on him and radiating love, but he thinks hard and nods his head. “Yes, I believe so.”

“If you think of anything else, we can do it in the back. None of these people are goin’ anywhere for a while,” Dean says. “Can we go eat now?”

Castiel sees Claire’s head pop up from where she and Bentley are log rolling along the grass. “Num-nums?”

Sam laughs good naturedly. “She is _so_ yours,” he says to Dean.

Dean and Castiel beam with pride, both still loving it whenever they get comments like that about Claire being Dean’s daughter, too.

“Everybody out back for food!” Charlie shouts suddenly. A flood of people start making their way back and Charlie shoots them a thumbs up.

“Charming,” Castiel says with a laugh.

Charlie shrugs with a grin. “Somebody will come get you when we’re ready for you to make your grand entrance.”

“Claire, sweetie, do you wanna come get some food?” Jess asks her, holding out her hand.

Claire stands and takes Bentley’s hand instead, and he drops his head forwards in defeat as he leads her to his mom. Jess takes her other hand with a fond smile back at he and Dean, and just like that, they’re left alone.

“Let’s go inside and take a load off, huh?” Dean suggests.

“Sure.”

Dean’s hand wraps around his waist as they walk into their home. Castiel looks at Dean curiously when he kicks his dress shoes off at the door. “These fuckin’ shoes are killing my feet,” he explains.

Castiel kicks his off too, silently agreeing, and the two of them walk over to the couch and collapse in a heap of tangled limbs. “It’s our backyard. We can do the rest of this in bare feet, right?” Dean asks, his head now on Castiel’s shoulder.

“What about our gay socks?”

“Hmmm,” Dean says, sliding his hand up Castiel’s chest and under his vest until he brushes over one of his nipples with his thumb. “I guess we’ll have to find other ways to be super gay instead.”

Instead of allowing Dean’s wickedly talented hands continue to explore his body, Castiel tangles their fingers together and rests them on his chest. “I’m not letting you make me walk into our wedding reception with an erection,” he says seriously.

_“Erection,”_ Dean snorts. “Keep talkin’ dirty to me, Cas.”

Castiel rolls his eyes, fully aware that Dean can’t see him do it. A minute passes while they just soak in each other’s company and the silence they know they won’t have for the rest of the night.

“Hey, Cas? Is this everything you wanted so far?” Dean asks, suddenly serious.

“Everything I wanted and more,” he corrects. “The yard. Hearing you say your vows. Seeing you with Claire. It was all so much better than I imagined - and I had very high expectations going in.”

“You remember those pictures you showed me? Of your last wedding?”

“Mhmm.”

“You looked about a billion times happier than that,” Dean says smugly.

“Well you’re a billion times the man he ever was, so I’m not at all surprised to hear that.”

Dean’s quiet for a few seconds before he asks, “Were you thinkin’ about that at all?”

“About what?”

“Y’know. Your last wedding.”

Castiel takes a moment to think about how much he should share. “For a few minutes this morning while I was in the shower and starting to feel nervous, yes. But it only took thinking of the relationship we have now to remember what an absolute farce my first marriage was. I haven’t thought about it - or him -” he adds, knowing that that’s really what Dean is asking about, “at all since I got dressed. There’s no room for unhappy memories today, Dean. Not with how happy you’ve made me.” He hooks his chin over Dean’s head and pulls him closer.

Dean unwinds their fingers and traces Castiel’s wedding ring with his index finger. “What’d you think about this?”

“I was surprised but very pleased. I’m excited about the idea of people seeing our matching rings and knowing we’re married to each other.”

Dean’s laugh turns into a yawn. “Tired of people seeing my ring and asking where my wife is?”

“Yes,” Castiel says seriously.

“I like my ring on you,” Dean replies quietly, as if he’s making a confession.

“I was yours long before today.”

“I know. But now it’s official and everybody else knows, too.”

“I thought I was the possessive one?” Castiel asks him. Dean hums in his throat again, snuggling in and sighing happily. It’s odd that Dean doesn’t say anything in response. It reminds him of when they’re in bed and...“You’re trying not to fall asleep,” Castiel realizes.

“Slept like shit, remember?”

“Guys?” Castiel turns towards the sound of Anna’s voice. “Everybody is seated and waiting for you.”

Castiel gives Dean’s ass a slap that has him yelping before they both pull off their rainbow socks and get to their feet. “Just walk out onto the deck and Gabriel will announce you,” Anna tells them.

“This oughta be good,” Dean comments, grinning.

“Remember this was your idea.”

“I know, I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Dean says, though he doesn’t sound all that sure. He pulls the patio door open and then gestures for Castiel to walk through. “After you, husband.”

Castiel’s smile spreads quickly and he pulls Dean through behind him by his hand. They step out onto their deck and Castiel only has a few quick seconds to take everything in, but his eyes absorb it all quickly.

The wooden chairs from the ceremony are now arranged around eight circular tables, each covered with a white tablecloth and a burlap runner. Their centerpieces are a group of different sized mason jars each wrapped with twine at the top, filled with electric tea lights and baby’s breath sitting upon a thick wood slice from a tree trunk. He’d seen an example at the decorators, but seeing them all together giving off a soft light reflecting off of all of the glasses and silverware is beautiful. He notices belatedly that the lights overhead are switched on although the sun is barely beginning to set, but again, the warm glow supplies ambiance and it takes his breath away.

There’s a long, buffet-style table in front of where they got married covered in several silver warming trays, and the front of the yard (closest to the deck) is squared off for a dance floor. There’s a small rectangular table off to one side bracketed with speakers where Gabriel stands, and when the moment of taking in his surroundings has passed, he looks over at him.

“He’s tall. He’s handsome. His shoulders are wide and his eyes are gorgeous.” Gabriel pauses with a devilish look on his face before he continues, “Half of you are thinking about Dean, half of you are thinking about Castiel, and I can _guarantee you_ they’re thinking about each other,” he announces with a chuckle, drawing laughter from the two of them and their guests. “They’re the best looking couple since Justin and Britney, but these two made it down the aisle _and still_ managed to Cry Me A River. Give it up for the newly married couple - Dean and Castiel Winchester!”

Dean leans over to whisper, “Told you we could still be super gay,” as applause and cheers erupt in front of them, and Castiel laughs heartily. Dean leads Castiel down the stairs with his hand on his shoulder while _Welcome to The Jungle_ plays, and they walk over to their table where Sam, Jess, Mary, Bentley and Claire are waiting for them.

They’re not even sitting down before everybody around them starts clinking their glasses with their utensils all at once, and Dean grins happily before reaching over for him. Dean gets one hand between his shoulders and one hand on his lower back, and then he’s spun and dipped for the second time in his entire life before Dean’s lips crash into his. Dean’s tongue forces its way into his mouth and Castiel can do nothing but hold on for dear life while Dean kisses him absolutely breathless to thunderous applause.

He finally pulls him back up and Dean bends into an exaggerated bow while Castiel catches Chuck’s eye at the table across from them and shrugs in defeat before he does the same.

“Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Gabriel says, drawing the attention back to himself so they can settle in at their table. “Usually at weddings people do the boring speeches right off the bat, but if you’ve seen Dean over here get hangry, you’ll understand why we’re feasting first. We’ll let the guests of honor start so they can fuel up for later -” somebody whistles and Castiel can feel his face color “- and then I’ll call out your table number and you can eat whatever Dean didn’t.” Mary and Sam laugh hardest out of everybody, and though Dean’s laughing too, Castiel puts a hand on his knee under the table just in case he’s feeling self-conscious about being teased in front of everybody. “Up and at ‘em!”

“I’ll stay here and wait for Claire and Bentley’s dinner to be brought out, and then we can switch when you come back, okay?” Mary offers.

“No, I can wait,” Castiel argues. “You go ahead.”

“Go with Dean and make sure he eats something other than meat,” Mary says, smiling at him kindly.

He knows better than to continue arguing with her, so he follows Dean to the buffet table. He gets chicken while Dean chooses steak, and they both add roasted potatoes, asparagus (the only vegetable Dean routinely eats without much of a complaint), and a bun to their plates before they go back to sit at their table. Claire and Bentley have chicken nuggets and fries, and they’re both mowing down happily with Chevy parked smartly by Claire’s feet.

“Mmmm,” Claire says brightly to Castiel as he takes the seat next to her.

“Is it good?” he asks, and she nods vigorously.

She points to his plate. “Peese?”

He looks down at what he has trying to guess what she’s mostly likely asking for. “This?” he asks, stabbing a potato with his fork.

“Peese,” she says again, so he pushes it onto her plate and cuts it in half.

“It’s a potato. And it’s hot, so you might have to blow,” he warns her.

“Hot! Ow!”

Castiel nods while he chews, letting her know she’s right.

“Havin’ some bubbles, Cas?” Dean asks him, wiggling a champagne bottle in his hands.

“Yes, please,” he says, smiling warmly at him.

Dean fills his glass for him before filling his own, then he lifts it and says, “I know there’ll be about twenty toasts later, but this one’s just for us.” With everything they need to say passing silently between them with one soft look, they tap their glasses together and take their first sips. Happiness explodes on Castiel’s tongue along with the bubbles when he realizes how strongly the taste of this specific champagne is linked to some of his best memories: the day he and Dean got engaged, the day they decided to buy this house, and now his wedding day. He truly feels like one of the luckiest men in the world.

They eat their meals while encouraging Claire to eat hers, and once she’s finished she turns to Dean and asks, “Me pay, daddy?”

“You wanna go play? On the playground?” Dean repeats. Claire nods her head. Dean looks at Castiel and he nods his okay. “Go ahead with Bentley, just try and stay nice and quiet, okay blondie?”

“Kay. C’mon Beewee!” she says, pushing out of her chair and running for the playground with Bentley right behind her.

Once all of the tables cycle through the buffet and everyone but the kids are seated again, Gabriel starts walking towards them with a wireless microphone in his hand. “Now that we’re all well on our way to being fed and watered, there’s a few people who want to take their chance to say good and/or embarrassing things about the grooms. Spoiler alert: I’m one of them. For those of you who don’t know me, my name’s Gabriel, and I’ve been a frenemy of Dean’s for quite some time now. Before he had Castiel here to bring him his beer and serve him his meals -”

“In my dreams, maybe,” Dean says, loud enough for most people to hear him.

“- or not,” Gabriel corrects, “I was his least favorite server at The Roadhouse.”

“Still are,” Dean says again.

Gabriel whirls on him. “Excuse me, Urkel, I believe I have the microphone at the moment,” he says playfully. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I knew Dean here before Castiel came along, and I’ve known him after. I know a lot of other people are going to fight over the mic to tell you all about how much happier Dean is now that he’s met his man of choice, but I want to talk about Castiel.”

Castiel feels a mixture of surprise and apprehension as all eyes fall on him. Dean stretches his arm out behind his chair before he turns slightly to the side so their knees bump together, and he feels soothed by the contact as he’s sure Dean wanted him to.

“I met Castiel for the first time in April of 2018, so more than two years ago now. I don’t see him often or even know him very well, because, well frankly, most of the time I see him he’s wrapped pretty tightly around Dean here,” he says with a smirk. He starts walking around the table as he continues to talk. “But as a bartender and a waiter, my job is to read people, and it was easy to get a read on Castiel. He’s shy and quiet, but the dude’s got a wicked sense of humor if you hang around long enough to get him comfortable around you. The thing I noticed most of all though, is how this guy -” he stops to give Dean’s shoulder a squeeze “- has helped to draw him out of his shell. And despite what you might think, it’s not by teasing him or offering sexual favors.”

“That’s what you think,” Dean quips, and then Castiel laughs when Gabriel actually covers Dean’s mouth with his hand.

“I’ve seen Castiel transform from hunching nervously over his beer and keeping his eyes down - unless he was glaring daggers at anybody who even looked at Dean - to lounging back in his seat like he owned the place and smirking when Dean can’t take his eyes off of him... even when others try _really_ hard to get his attention.”

There’s a few knowing laughs from the people gathered there, and Gabriel waits for them to peter out before he continues. “That kind of transformation doesn’t come from alcohol. Well, actually, it does. But in that case, it doesn’t last - trust me. It doesn’t come from teasing or the desire to fit in. It comes from finding yourself. Finding your place. Finding your person.”

He takes his hand off of Dean’s mouth, and Dean must be struck stupid by his words because he doesn’t say anything or make any kind of move to retaliate. “I think we can all agree that these two make each other better, and we’re all a little bit better just for knowing them.” He raises his glass in the air and says, “To Dean and Castiel. They’re just better together.”

Everybody toasts them, but before Castiel takes a drink, he catches Gabriel’s eye and mouths, “Thank you.”

“Now, let’s get the rest of the speeches rolling, starting with the best man - not only at this wedding but in every room as far as I’m concerned - brother of the green eyed groom, Sam Winchester.”

Sam stands up and reaches for the mic, which Gabriel pulls away teasingly, causing Sam to glare at him and swipe for it a second time before he gets his hand on it.

“Wow,” Sam says somewhat nervously. “Never thought I’d have a hard time following a speech from Gabe, but that was surprisingly good. All I really want to say is that Dean has been the best brother, friend, and business partner anybody could’ve asked for, and I am so unbelievably happy for him today. I know mom’s gonna get up here and have us all crying, so just one more thing.” He pauses to clear his throat, then says, “Castiel? Can you put your hand on the table? Palm down?” Castiel is confused by the question, but humors him by following along. “Okay, Dean, lie your hand on top of his.” Dean does, and they both look at Sam in confusion. “Just take a second to let it all sink in.” They share a soft smile between them, and then Sam finishes with, “Especially Dean.”

Castiel tilts his head in confusion.

“Because as a married man myself, I can guarantee you this is the last time you’ll ever have the upper hand.” Everybody bursts out in laughter and a smattering of applause. “Thank you! To Dean and Cas!”

“What a jerk,” Dean says to Castiel, but he’s smiling. “And why does he think I’m the pushover in this marriage?”

“I don’t think you’re a pushover,” Castiel says truthfully.

“So I guess that answers the question about who’s the bride and who’s the groom,” Gabriel teases, and Dean gives him the middle finger, earning himself a warning from Mary. “The last speech we have lined up for tonight is from Dean’s mom, Mary. Here you go, sweetheart,” he says, handing her the microphone as she stands and fixes her dress.

“From the very first time I held my babies in my arms, I knew a day would come when they would give their hearts to another. For any other parents out there, you know it’s a double edged sword. You want to keep your babies close and protect their hearts, but you also know you’re not going to be here forever, and you want them to find somebody who can love them as much as you do. I found that for the first time once my Sam met his Jessica, and from the first time I saw Sam look at her with hearts in his eyes I made room in my heart for her, knowing I was about to gain the daughter I always wanted.”

“No wonder his hair’s so long!” Jody calls out, and everybody laughs.

“You swore you wouldn’t tell!” Mary laughs, obviously joking. “I would be lying if I told you guys that I ever dreamed of having three boys. For those of you who knew Sam and Dean growing up, you know exactly why that is,” she says with another laugh. “But I knew when Dean first brought Castiel and Claire to my home, that I was not only about to gain a third son, but my first granddaughter as well. Their romance has been a whirlwind, and at times I was a little nervous about that, but it’s pretty much impossible not to get swept along with the love they so obviously share. On this day, our family takes one more giant step towards being complete, and I get the third son I never knew I needed in my life but will never be without now. So like I did at Sam and Jessica’s wedding, I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to Castiel.”

Castiel ducks his head, feeling several pairs of eyes turning towards him to see his reaction. “Thank you, sweetie, for helping my first baby to fall in love. For being the person he’s chosen to be his safe place to fall. For loving Dean enough to fight for the right to be by his side when he needed you and not me for the first time. For putting a smile on his face and a bounce in his step I probably don’t want to know about -” He blushes furiously as everybody laughs at her joke. “- and for teaching him by example what it is to be a terrific father. I am so thankful for you and everything you’ve given him.” She pauses with her hand on her heart and it’s impossible to miss how genuine she sounds. “And Dean? I am so incredibly proud of the man you’ve become, and I only wish your father could’ve been here to share in this moment with me today. I love you both so much. To Dean and Castiel.”

They all clink their glasses and Castiel finishes his first flute of champagne.

Gabriel takes the microphone back and waits for everybody to quiet down again. “Alright, alright. That’s enough of the sappy shit. Now it’s time to play a game,” Gabriel explains. Castiel and Dean look at each other questioningly, realizing rather quickly that neither of them are responsible for this unexpected turn of events. “You two can thank Charlie for this one,” he explains. They both look over to her and see her waving and grinning. “Up on the dance floor, boys!”

Dean catches Charlie’s eye and drags his finger along his throat threateningly, but she just laughs and blows him a kiss. Two chairs are brought onto the dance floor, and they take their seats sitting back to back. Gabriel approaches them holding two chalkboard signs in his hand. He holds them up for the audience and shows that one side has Dean written on it, and the other side has Castiel written on it.

“I’m sure you’re familiar with this game. We’re about to see just how well the newly married couple knows each other.” He hands one sign to each of them and says, “No peeking. I’ll ask a question, you hold up the sign with the name facing the crowd. You ready?”

“I hate you,” Dean says, which just makes Gabriel grin happily.

“We’ll start easy on them. Which one of you is better looking?”

Castiel doesn’t hesitate at all before holding up Dean, and he knows without looking that Dean will have said him. Sure enough, there’s laughter and a small chorus of _awww_ from everybody watching.

“That was more predictable than Meryl Streep winning an Oscar,” Gabriel says. “Who did the chasing at the beginning of your relationship?”

Considering he’s the one who first told Dean he was attractive (accidentally) at the daycare, and he’s the one who invited Dean over to his place for the first time, he lifts his own name.

“Another match! Who initiated your first kiss?”

Castiel holds up the sign with Dean’s name facing out this time, as does Dean.

“Well you’re not being any fun at all,” Gabriel complains. “Okay, let’s change lanes. Who’s the messiest?”

He wouldn’t consider himself messy, but compared to how freakishly neat Dean is, he loses. He holds up his own name, and Gabriel says, “You have to answer, Deano!”

“I’m newly married, not newly stupid,” Dean disagrees. “I’m not saying shit.”

“So that’s an unspoken Castiel from Dean, which means we have another match,” Gabriel announces. “Let’s spice it up a bit. Who’s the most stubborn?”

Castiel immediately holds up Dean, and Dean holds up Castiel, causing everybody to laugh. “Ah ha! Not surprising we have our first mismatch here! Who’s the first one to say sorry after an argument?”

Honestly, they’re both pretty quick to apologize. But Dean’s usually the one who says it first, trying to end the argument before they even start. So he holds up Dean, and Gabriel announces, “Damn, back to matching! Who likes to cuddle more?”

“Dammit,” Dean says quietly, and Castiel laughs while he holds his sign up to say Dean.

“Awwww,” Gabriel says into the microphone. “Never would’ve thought that one, you big teddy bear! Okay, let’s be totally juvenile and ask who has the worst gas?”

“Where’s the Sam card when you need it?” Dean says loud enough for everybody to hear him.

Castiel chuckles and holds up Dean’s side again, and for the first time, he peeks to see Dean holding up his own name.

“Hey! I said no peeking!” Gabriel chastises him.

“You had to know I was gonna say me,” Dean says, turning his head towards him with a grin.

“You never know,” Castiel responds. “I didn’t want you to lie to embarrass me.”

“Mary, Claire, cover your ears for this one. Who’s the most...  _gifted..._ below the belt?”

He holds up Dean again, knowing Dean’s about to hold up his name, and sure enough, Gabriel comments, “You know, that really shouldn’t be something you can argue about. Numbers don’t lie.”

“Shoulda said biggest then,” Dean points out.

“Please don’t,” Castiel begs.

Surprisingly, Gabriel listens with a quick nod of his head. “Alright, one more embarrassing question, and then we’re done. Who’s the kinkiest in bed?”

“Gabriel!” Mary complains.

“I didn’t tell you to uncover your ears, you know!” he answers her.

Castiel holds up Dean’s name, and Gabriel says, “And we end on another match! Our cuddle bug is also the neat freak who likes to get freaky in bed. What an interesting creature you are.”

“Back off Gabriel, he’s mine,” Castiel teases.

“Believe me, that’s crystal clear, Cas,” Gabriel answers. He reaches for their signs, and Castiel laughs when Dean bops him over the head with his. He takes the beating good naturedly, saying, “I can’t even pretend I don’t deserve it.”

Dean and Castiel get to their feet but Gabriel stops them with a finger up.

“Since we have the grooms up here already, I think we had better start the reception off with their first dance, don’t you think?” A round of applause is their answer, and Castiel slides his hand around Dean’s waist while he looks over at the playground to make sure Claire’s still okay with Bentley (which she is). Gabriel begins walking over to his table to get the music going, talking as he goes. “Now, Dean here is a man of many talents. The song he and Castiel will be dancing to tonight is a song that Dean wrote himself. We worked together to get the acoustic version recorded for tonight, played by Dean, and I can guarantee you that you’re going to love it. Let’s get the lights turned up,” he says, hitting some buttons and making the lights strung overhead the dance floor brighten drastically. “And now I give you the first dance between Dean and Castiel Winchester, aptly titled, _Start of Something Good_.”

He and Dean get into their practiced positions: Dean’s hand on his shoulder, his hand on Dean’s waist, and their other two hands clasped together. The familiar intro to their song begins, and the sound of Dean strumming along quietly on his guitar fills their backyard. He locks eyes with Dean, and just like when they first saw each other earlier today, everything else disappears. He’s not worried about fifty people watching them, or how ridiculous he might look dancing, or anything other than the way Dean’s looking at him right now. Dean’s eyes are soft and shining at him with love, and then his chest fills with warmth when Dean quietly begins to sing along to the music.

_“You never know when you’re gonna meet someone, and your whole wide world in a moment comes undone.”_

“I love you,” Castiel says softly.

“I love you, too, hon,” Dean tells him.

It’s not a surprise that they continue moving closer and closer together until the formal dancing position they had practiced so hard on is completely forgotten in favor of holding each other as close as they can. Dean leans in for kiss after kiss in between singing lyrics to him, telling him how gorgeous he is and repeating how much he loves him. Dean’s fingers brush through his hair, and his hands lie on the dip of Dean’s lower back, feeling his body heating up slowly beneath his hands from the proximity of their bodies.

As the song comes to an end, Dean pulls him in and captures his lips for one more luscious, lingering kiss that elicits a number of cat calls from their guests and leaves Castiel feeling dazed. Gabriel calls Claire up to the dance floor next, and the three of them dance along to _My Girl_ , taking turns dancing with her in their arms, twirling her, and singing to her before ending with the three of them all huddled together for a surprisingly coordinated spin around the dance floor.

Then Dean dances with Mary while he dances with Jess, where her belly bumps against his the entire time. They do a terrible job of muffling their laughter and get several fond looks from both Dean and Sam, then he gets a turn with Mary while Dean dances with Charlie next, and suddenly the dance floor is full of their family and friends when _Celebration_ comes on. He’s sure Charlie and Gabriel have some kind of competition going about who can create the most absurd dance moves, but the silly dancing (and the champagne flute that somehow never seems to be empty no matter how much he drinks from it) have him feeling relaxed and free even while he dances with person after person.

Everytime he looks around, he sees people he loves pulling each other onto the dance floor. Jo and Kevin being ridiculous with Chuck, who is wide eyed but doing his best to keep up with their version of the sprinkler. Ellen and Sam take turns doing some one-legged move that Castiel has no hope of replicating without falling on his face. Jody and Mary come head bang to _Livin’ On a Prayer_ , Benny gets up for _Paradise City_ and puts them all to shame with his smooth dancing, and Charity and Alex burst into giggles when _MMMBop_ comes on and several other women flock to the dance floor while Dean complains loudly.

Castiel takes the opportunity to take a seat to rest his feet and feels his head spinning delightfully as he pats Chevy. He takes in the sight of their yard lit up by the lanterns and lights strung over their heads with fireflies flickering in the trees. The night is beautiful. Not too hot and not too cold, and as darkness descends around them, he thinks again about how perfect everything has been so far as he finishes another glass of champagne.

Dean comes up behind him and presses a line of kisses behind his ear and down the side of his neck. He groans happily when Dean loosens his tie and pulls it free, unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt with deft fingers and smoothing out his collar.

“Now you’re ready to keep partying,” Dean says against the shell of his ear.

“This is much more fun than I anticipated,” Castiel admits, turning his head to the side to give Dean access to more of his skin.

“Maybe that has something to do with the bottomless champagne, hm?” Dean teases, nipping lightly at his skin.

“I’m sure there’s some correlation between the two, yes,” Castiel laughs. “Are you having fun?”

“Watching your hot bod out there wiggling away all night? Damn right I am.”

Castiel snorts. “I’m fully aware that I look like a broken robot when I dance.”

“Nuh-uh,” Dean disagrees. “Not quite as hot as when you’re movin’ on top of me, but those pants hug your thighs and ass tightly enough that I can’t keep my eyes off a you.”

“Maybe that has something to do with the beer in your hand?”

“Nah, you’re always hot. And now you’re all mine,” Dean says smugly, tilting Castiel’s head to the side to meet his lips. Castiel lifts his hand to cup the back of his neck, holding him in place while he opens his mouth and welcomes Dean’s prodding tongue. He hears Dean’s muffled sound of pleasure against his mouth and feels a thrill of excitement move through his body at the thought of making love to _his husband_ later tonight. Dean comes around in front of him, sliding his hands into his hair and kissing Castiel without restraint. His fingers tighten around Dean’s suspenders as he gives himself over, letting Dean drive him higher and higher with every swipe of his tongue.

They don’t pull apart until Dean gets dragged away a few minutes later by Sam when _Night Moves_ comes on, and he picks up his refilled flute when the two of them are quickly joined by Charlie, Jo, Jess and Mary. Then Claire and Bentley come running over to pull him up from his seat, and suddenly he has his whole family dancing together and he’s laughing and smiling more than he ever has in his life. Gabriel plays _Shake It Off_ for Claire, and his heart swells as laughter bubbles out of him when she and Dean start dancing around shaking their booties at the crowd. When the rap part of the song comes on, Dean scoops up Claire onto his hip, locks eyes with him from across the dance floor and surprises another laugh out of him when he starts singing the words as he dances over to him, acting out what he’s saying, and shooting him finger guns.

_“My ex-man brought his new girlfriend and she’s like, ‘Oh my god!’ but I’m just gonna shake it! And to the fella over there with the hella good hair won’t you come on over baby we can shake, shake, shake!”_

Then Dean has him by the hands and he’s being spun around the dance floor again with Claire between them giggling away the entire time, and he somehow ends up shaking his butt with the two of them while everybody cheers.

“I can’t believe you know the lyrics to Taylor Swift,” Castiel says into his ear when they’re slow dancing again a few minutes later.

“It’s catchy,” Dean defends, grinning. “And besides, Claire likes it.”

“So chick flicks and pop, huh?” Castiel asks.

“I’ll deny it to the death,” Dean says seriously, and Castiel catches his lips for another kiss.

When the song ends, Castiel turns when he’s tapped on his shoulder and sees Mary with a sleeping Claire passed out on her shoulder. She was dancing only a minute ago, and he’s extremely surprised to see her out like a light.

Mary laughs at his expression. “I don’t know what to tell you. She climbed into my lap, put her head on my shoulder, and she was out,” she explains.

“Do you want us to put her down in her bed for a while so you can stay?” Dean asks Mary.

“No, I’m going to take her and Bentley back to my place. She lasted longer than we thought she would.”

“What time is it?” Dean asks.

“Almost ten,” Mary answers. Dean leans down to kiss his mom on the cheek, and Castiel follows suit. “You stay and have fun, look after your drunken brother for Jessica, and remember there’s no rush at all to come pick Claire up in the morning. Take your time.”

“Thanks for everything, ma,” Dean says.

“It’s my pleasure, sweetie. Thank you for such a beautiful day. You two enjoy yourselves, okay? I love you both.”

“Love you,” they both echo.

Once Mary and the kids are gone, the hard alcohol starts flowing. They each take two shots of tequila when they’re brought to them by Charity and Alex, but Castiel refuses more after that, knowing he has good reason not to get _too_ drunk tonight. Dean hasn’t been drinking as much beer as he has champagne, so he has a few more shots, and though the crowd starts petering out, the noise level stays up.

He dances with Charity and Alex, learning that they both take the same yoga class with Sam on the weekends. He promises to join them some day amidst twirling them - eventually allowing them to twirl him too after they pin him with two pouty faces that may rival Claire’s. He sees Dean smiling at the three of them and Balthazar snapping pictures, and he just keeps dancing with them anyway. He drinks more champagne and feels like his entire body is floating from the bubbles as he laughs and dances more freely than he ever has in his life. He takes dozens of selfies with people he realizes (now that he’s more than half-drunk) have somehow become his actual friends, and he runs over to Jessica excitedly to tell her.

He’s promptly met with an, “I know, Cas,” and eyes dancing with amusement.

When _Pour Some Sugar On Me_ starts playing, Dean pulls him against him, slots a thigh between Castiel’s and ravishes his mouth with a kiss that has them both half hard in record time. Then Dean starts a dirty grind that has both of them panting and breathing into each other’s mouths much harder than should be socially appropriate, but he can’t seem to find it in himself to protest. Dean is so unbelievably sexy with his face flushed and lips kissed swollen - and all his, he remembers when he sees the glint of his wedding ring - and the alcohol thrumming through his veins is quickly mixing with desire and making it incredibly difficult not to get carried away.

Trying in vain not to get fully hard in front of company, he tears himself away from the predatory look in his husband’s eyes and does a double take when he sees Jo and Charlie slotted together much in the same way they are. He nudges Dean, and when Dean looks over at them and sees Charlie whisper something into Jo’s ear that makes her giggle and blush, he brings his fingers to his mouth and whistles loudly and obnoxiously. Charlie winks, Jo flushes, and he and Dean both dissolve into laughter.

“Man. Charlie’s gonna be through the roof. I thought she was barkin’ up the wrong tree all these years,” Dean comments.

“They’d be good together,” Castiel says.

“Absolutely. Hope they don’t fuck it up though ‘cause that’d be all kinds of awkward.”

“Kind of like dry humping in front of your brother?” Castiel asks, losing the internal battle and slipping his hands down to grasp at Dean’s ass anyway.

“Mmm, fuck, Cas,” Dean moans happily, nuzzling at his neck. His eyes snap open again when Castiel moves his hands back up to his hips. “Dude, don’t stop. Sam’s fuckin’ hammered anyway. Surprised he’s still standing,” Dean says, gesturing over to where Sam’s draped over Jessica from behind, kissing her neck and rubbing her stomach. Jess keeps batting him away, but they’re both laughing, and Castiel’s just pleased to see so many of his friends happy together.

The crowd keeps thinning and thinning, and soon, it’s only he and Dean, Sam and Jess, Charity, Alex, Jo, Charlie, and Gabriel. They start picking up the garbage left behind as Gabriel packs up his equipment, but everybody waves them away and tells them to go to bed and they’ll take care of everything. Their friends insist they don’t need to get inside and to lock up, and after a round of hugs for everybody and a request from Sam to keep the pornographic sounds down until they’re gone, he and Dean make their way into the house followed by Chevy.

“I have to piss like a racehorse,” Dean says as he locks the door behind them.

“I’m going right after you,” Castiel says, reaching to start undoing the buttons on his vest.

“Nuh uh! You said I got to take that off,” Dean reminds him.

“Hurry up and pee then!”

When Dean goes into the bathroom, Castiel turns out all the lights in the house, locks the front door, and watches as Chevy plops down onto his side on his doggie bed in Claire’s room. He and Dean pass each other in their bedroom when Castiel takes his turn in the bathroom. “Everything all locked up?” Dean asks.

“Yes, I’ll be right out,” Castiel promises.

“Not gonna come out in some kinda negligee or somethin’, are you?” Dean asks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Castiel teases, wishing he had thought of something like that to make tonight special in some way. He uses the bathroom, brushes his teeth, applies an extra coat of deodorant, drinks a glass of water, and then opens the door to walk over to where Dean’s waiting for him on their bed, sitting up but reclined against the headboard. In typical Dean style, he’s managed to grab some of the mason jar lanterns from outside and brought them into their bedroom. There’s several on each side of their bed, and the bedroom lights are out, causing the flickering of the faux flames to dance along Dean’s golden skin.

“What did I do to deserve you?” Castiel asks as he knee walks over to his husband and straddles his lap.

Dean smiles up at him and immediately starts working on the buttons of his vest. “How drunk _are_ you?”

“Drunk enough to tell you I’ve been trying not to think about fucking you all day,” Castiel says, leaning in to catch his lips in a quick kiss.

Dean tugs him in closer by the lapels of his vest and licks the seam of his lips, and Castiel opens to him while he positions himself so he’s able to slide Dean’s cock along his ass crack when he’s ready to start moving. Right now, he’s quite content to let the heat build between them with each kiss while Dean’s hands trace the lines of his vest and the way it pulls across his back before he slides it off of his shoulders. He tosses it onto the floor mindlessly and hums against Dean’s plush lips while Dean’s fingers start unbuttoning his shirt. Dean tugs him closer again, and he’s dizzy enough that he needs to brace himself on Dean’s strong shoulders. While his skin is gradually revealed with each button, Dean’s mouth tastes every inch, starting on his collarbone and moving down his chest. His lips are hot, his tongue is wet, and the sensation of his mouth open and eager on his skin would have his head spinning even without the alcohol.

He gets up to his knees so Dean can continue his tantalizing trail down his stomach until he gets his shirt off entirely. Dean maps his pecs and abs with his tongue, lavishing kisses after every _I love you_ he murmurs into his skin, making Castiel feel so incredibly warm inside and out he slides back into Dean’s lap to cup his face and kiss him soundly. Dean is hard beneath him, and he groans at the tormenting sensation of his length pressed up against his ass. Dean’s hands fall to his hips and he implores him to start moving on top of him with gentle guidance from his big hands. He rides the hot line of his erection until they’re both panting and aching for more.

He rolls off of him and urges Dean to switch positions until he has his lap full of his husband. Dean isn’t nearly as patient as he was, and he’s already writhing in Castiel’s lap, gyrating against his clothed cock, before he’s even slipped Dean’s suspenders off of his shoulders. He makes a sound of appreciation low in his throat at the wicked way Dean moves on top of him as he grabs each end of Dean’s bowtie and pulls it open, slipping it out of the collar of his shirt and dropping it onto the bed beside him. He flips open the top button of Dean’s shirt and leans down to begin the same path Dean had left on his skin.

Dean’s warm and sweaty already. The salt of his skin is bitter on his tongue, but it’s a flavor he’s familiar with, and he kisses his way down his flesh hungrily with Dean’s fingers tangled in his hair. He unrolls the sleeves of Dean’s shirt as he feasts on his neck, unfastens the tiny buttons on his cuffs, and finally has his bare chest in front of him. Dean’s flapping his arms, trying to get his shirt off over his hands, and Castiel takes the opportunity to cup his ass and guide him up onto his knees so he can take one of his nipples into his mouth.

“Mmm yeah,” Dean breathes happily, leaning into his mouth.

He knows the second Dean gets free of his shirt, because his hands go right back into his hair and he tugs until Castiel makes his way over to his other nipple like he wanted him to. He licks and sucks at the hardened nub just to hear the sounds from Dean, then gasps when Dean yanks on his hair and tilts his head up so he can crash their lips together in a hot and needy kiss. Castiel keeps his hands on the ass he loves so much, grinding Dean against his cock and losing himself in the pressure of Dean’s supple lips.

Not surprisingly, Dean’s the one who drops his hands to unbuckle Castiel’s belt first and pulls it free of his belt loops before he flips open the button on his fly and lowers his zipper. Dean pulls down on the waistband of Castiel’s pants, breaks their kiss to get up onto his knees again, and Castiel follows his unspoken request to lift his hips and push his pants and boxers off. Dean works on his own belt and pants, and when he lowers himself back down on top of him, they’re both gloriously bare and swallowing each other’s sounds of pleasure when Dean fuses their mouths back together.

The dry friction of their hard cocks slotted together is pleasing but not nearly enough, and Castiel reaches for the lube from his nightstand while Dean latches onto his neck and sucks a mark into his skin that has him fumbling through the drawer blindly. He finally comes out with it, and Dean hums happily before he gets onto his hands and knees in front of him with his ass directly in front of his face.

Castiel laughs at his enthusiasm but lowers his mouth to his husband’s skin nonetheless, perfectly willing to give him everything he wants on their wedding night. He peppers kisses on his tailbone and along both curves of his ass cheeks as he squeezes them in his hands and teases his hole with his thumbs. Dean’s already pressing back into his palms, and Castiel watches the rippling of Dean’s back and shoulder muscles raptly while he moves against his hands.

When Dean loses his patience and says, “Come on, already. Stop teasing me,” Castiel gives into his wishes and spreads his cheeks.

Dean’s pink pucker is clenching around nothing, and he drifts his thumb across it, waiting eagerly for -

“Cas, _please.”_

He smirks as desire runs through him like a current, dropping his mouth to Dean’s hole, and pressing a chaste kiss directly to his opening before parting his lips and sealing them over him his opening to get his first taste.

“Yeah, Cas. So fucking good.”

Dean’s praising him already and he’s barely even gotten started. He circles his hole with the tip of his tongue, only _just_ swiping over where he knows Dean really wants his attention intermittently, and holding Dean still when he starts moving to try to get there on his own.

“You fucking tease,” Dean complains.

Castiel uses his teeth in retaliation, scraping them along his sensitive skin and humming with pleasure when Dean calls out. His cock is throbbing he’s so hard, and with his patience rapidly running thin, he finally begins pushing his tongue into his husband and eating him out vigorously. He loosens his hold on Dean’s hips and lets him rock against his face as he works his way inside, moaning at the filthy sounds Dean lets out each time he gets himself right where he wants him.

“Oh shit, Cas,” he gasps. “Love your fuckin’ mouth, baby. Feels so damn good.”

He keeps going, reveling in the way Dean’s rim softens for him, granting his tongue more and more leeway to drive Dean crazy with. He keeps his mouth pressed where it is but releases one cheek to roll Dean’s testicles in his palm, gently applying pressure and momentarily losing contact with Dean’s ass when he thrusts downwards instead of back.

“So greedy,” Castiel comments, smiling at how open Dean is now with chasing his pleasure.

Dean whimpers in response when his mouth locks onto him again, and he tugs carefully on his sack before running one finger along his taint and slipping it in next to his tongue. He crooks his finger purposely and swirls his tongue at the same moment he prods his prostate, getting a drawn out moan from his husband. He withdraws his finger only to suck a second one into his mouth, not quite ready to grab the lube and stop eating his ass yet, and inserts them both while he licks around his rim and continues to stimulate his prostate. He grazes it again and again, and when Dean starts trembling he knows he’s close.

“C-cas,” Dean warns in a choked off sounding voice.

“We have all night, my love,” Castiel reminds him, blowing cool air onto his wet skin and smiling while he jerks against him.

“I don’t - I don’t wanna come like this. I wanna come with you inside a me,” Dean slurs, though Castiel notices he doesn’t stop riding his fingers.

“Anything you want,” he promises.

He presses hard against his prostate once more to watch his beautiful back bow, presses one last, lingering kiss to his pink pucker shining with his spit, and then he withdraws his fingers and grabs the lube. He slicks up his cock and gets onto his hands and knees behind Dean with his head delightfully fuzzy. He manhandles Dean until he’s horizontal on the bed so he can grasp the headboard if he needs to, and gets into position so the backs of Dean’s legs are braced against his. He wraps one hand around his chest, lines himself up behind him, and slides home into that perfect heat with one fluid stroke. He pushes in steady and fast until he’s bottomed out, and pulls Dean back until they’re both up on their knees.

His lips move across his bare shoulders while his hand stimulates his nipples until Dean’s totally ready, and when Dean pushes back and starts grinding against him, he grips onto his chest to help hold him up, thrusting in and out of him with practiced ease.

“Mmm fuck Cas. Love you,” Dean gasps.

Dean gets one hand on the headboard to keep him upright, tilts his head back and curls the other hand around the back of Castiel’s neck to pull him in for a messy kiss that has heat curling inside of him. Castiel slides his palm over Dean’s hip and caresses Dean’s thick thigh slick with sweat as they move together in a familiar roll of hips and clashing of lips.

Dean breaks their kiss and pushes his ass back, forcing Castiel back on one hand while [Dean starts undulating his hips in a sinuous roll](https://78.media.tumblr.com/ca0db6b63021576eac53058a36e05e35/tumblr_p94n7cvFqQ1xqr2fio1_500.gif) so filthy Castiel can feel his eyes roll back into his head.

“Jesus Dean,” Castiel gasps. He grips Dean’s shoulder for dear life as he opens his eyes to see Dean fucking himself on his cock, looking a hundred times sexier than any fantasy Castiel’s ever had. His back is a masterpiece that he can’t tear his eyes off of, with his muscles rippling and glistening with sweat that shines in the flickering candlelight. Castiel grits his teeth in a desperate attempt to fight back his mounting arousal. He hears the sound of Dean’s cock smacking against his stomach with every slam of Dean’s ass taking his cock like he was born for it, and he feels himself being dragged towards the edge much sooner than he wants to be.

He pulls himself back up and takes control again, holding Dean tight against him to still his movements. He rocks into him slow and deep, rolling his hips in a circular motion that he knows will stimulate Dean’s prostate perfectly. Dean lets him know he’s hit his mark when he moans almost constantly as he keeps applying pressure. It always feels so good being connected to Dean like this, but moving inside of him so slowly is calming him down bit by bit, and he’s able to kiss the column of Dean’s throat and run a hand over his nipples without it being too much. He teases and rolls them between his fingers, continuously working every sensitive spot he knows Dean has on his neck with his mouth: behind each ear, his ear lobes, and under his jaw.

Dean moans wantonly at all the stimulation, and Castiel doesn’t possess the control to hold back from fucking him hard and fast when he’s already buried to the hilt inside of him. With a sound of regret, he pushes Dean down onto the bed, slipping out of him and drawing a groan of unhappiness. Because he has a specific goal in mind, he knows he needs to bring Dean to the brink before he starts fucking him again, so he rolls Dean onto his back and takes his dripping cock into his mouth instead. Dean’s precum is watery and salty on his tongue, but Dean’s unhappy groan quickly turns into a litany of curses. Castiel feels his hands cup his face tenderly before they slide into his hair where they belong. He bobs his head up and down his husband’s length, following the pace Dean guides him into with his hands.

“Ugh, yeah. Mmm fuck that’s good, right there, baby,” Dean tells him, bucking lazily into his mouth.

He keeps moving along his length, pulling off to tongue along the underside and putting on a show of circling his crown lavishly with his tongue while he looks up at his husband through his eyelashes. When Dean’s eyes lock onto his, he sucks his cock back between his lips and sinks down slowly, maintaining eye contact as he swallows him whole.

“Nnnng _fuck_ I wanna come down your throat so bad. You’re so fucking hot,” Dean whines.

Castiel hums his okay, sucking harder as he pulls up and making Dean jackknife underneath him.

“Oh god,” Dean curses. Castiel flicks his tongue along his slit and Dean chokes out, _“F-fuck,”_ when he drags him up by his hair. “Get back in me. Fucking _now_ , Cas.”

Castiel grabs the lube and spreads it on his cock again, getting into the space between Dean’s legs and driving back into him with a groan. He smirks when Dean has to bite down on his lower lip as he lies on top of him and presses his cock between their bodies. Dean pulls his head down for another kiss, and their lips crash together in a desperate meeting of tongues and teeth. He doesn’t mean to start fucking him so quickly right off the bat - he still wants to draw this out and make it memorable for both of them - but Dean sucks on the tip of his tongue and he loses his head, shoving his cock into him hard and fast.

Dean’s hands release his hair and move down his back, one squeezing his ass with nails digging into his flesh to pull him in to fuck into him harder, and one caressing up and down his spine lovingly. Castiel drags his teeth along Dean’s lip as he pulls away and buries his face in his neck, kissing and sucking on whatever skin he can find while he tries to think about anything other than how fucking good this feels as he’s driven higher and higher with every thrust.

“Don’t stop again,” Dean begs him. “I need - I need to come, Cas.” Dean tries to get a hand between them but Castiel cuts him off with a shake of his head.

“You’re going to come on my cock, remember?” Castiel asks him, getting a needy whine from Dean in response.

“Mmm yeah, I’m already close. Just - fuck me harder,” Dean asks him, spreading his legs further apart and planting his feet on the bed. Castiel pulls almost all the way out and slams back in, met halfway by Dean as he lifts his hips, and he can’t stop from clamping his teeth down on his shoulder with a growl.

“Oh fuck. Cas. Love you,” Dean groans, his voice tight and strained.

The words help ground him, and he lifts back up onto his elbows to kiss Dean softly even while he keeps fucking him hard and fast. “I love you, Dean.”

“Cas,” Dean breathes, surging up to catch his lips again and again. “Castiel Winchester,” he grins, then tips his head back and calls out when Castiel thrusts harder than ever. _“Yes!_ Yes, _please_. Fuck me like that, Cas. Just like that. Right there, baby.”

_Castiel Winchester_ is still clogging up his brain and all he can think about how this is forever now. He and Dean are forever.

“‘m yours,” Castiel pants.

“Fuck yes, you’re mine,” Dean replies, grappling at his back with nails digging into his skin. Possessiveness spikes within him and brings the heat gathering in his stomach to the boiling point.

_“Dean -”_

“I know, honey. Come for me. Fill me up so fucking good, Cas,” Dean goads him. “Wanna feel you flooding outta my ass.”

Castiel tips his spinning head back and closes his eyes, splitting his focus between chasing his own pleasure and hitting Dean’s prostate with each thrust.

“Uhhh yes. Uh, uh, Ca-as,” Dean chants. “ _Cas,_ Cas, Cas.”

Castiel forces his eyes open when he feels Dean starting to tighten around him, eyes glued to Dean’s cock, and watches raptly while Dean’s cock jerks as he paints his stomach white with rope after rope of thick cum, completely untouched.

_“Ah! Yes, mmmmm,”_ Dean moans, head thrown back with pleasure.

The combination of knowing he just fucked Dean’s orgasm out of him and feeling Dean’s ass clenching around his cock has him barreling towards his release at full speed. His body locks up as heat flares inside of him, his breath catches, and unbelievable pleasure washes over him as he comes hard inside of his husband. His broken cry gets cut off by Dean pulling him in to kiss him through his orgasm, his hands pushing into his sweaty hair and continuing to kiss his lips even when all he can do is pant into his mouth.

“I love you,” Dean breathes. “I love you so much, Cas. I love you, I love you, I love you.” Dean kisses him between each declaration, and now Castiel can’t kiss him back properly because he’s smiling _and_ he can't breathe.

“I love _you,”_ Castiel answers as soon as he can. He kisses him once more before he pulls out and rolls off of him, tugging Dean onto his chest where he belongs.

Dean snuggles in happily, finding his favorite spot and winding his arm around him while they try to catch their breath.

Several minutes later, Dean boasts, “We are _so good_ at sex,” which makes Castiel chuckle.

“We certainly are,” he agrees, finding Dean’s hand and threading their fingers together.

“Perfect ending to a perfect day.”

“It really was. I don’t have a single complaint about any of it. Today was everything I ever dreamed of. All because of you.”

Dean lifts his hand to his mouth and kisses his wedding band. “Really liked feeling this on my skin tonight.”

His heart melts and he kisses the top of his head. “I’m glad, considering it’s always going to be there now.”

“Rock, paper, scissors for clean up?” Dean offers.

“No, I’ll get it,” he offers, sliding out from under him to wipe himself down before bringing Dean a cloth and awarding him the same treatment. He kisses every inch of newly cleaned skin, and tosses the cloth towards the bathroom before he gets back into bed.

He curls up behind Dean, presses a kiss to the back of his neck, and hooks his chin over his shoulder. “Goodnight, my love.”

“Night, husband,” Dean says, and he can hear his smile in his voice.

For once, Dean falls asleep first. And while Castiel lies there basking in the novelty of feeling their matching weddings bands pressed against each other where their fingers are tangled, he knows the reason he doesn’t want to fall asleep is because even his dreams can’t be better than the reality of today. Nothing could be better than falling asleep with the only man he’s ever really loved safe and warm in his arms, knowing that when he wakes up it will be the first day of the rest of their lives as married men.

His last conscious thought is the memory of Dean’s vows echoing in his head. _I choose you Castiel Novak, to stand by your side and sleep in your arms._ The answering line brings a smile to his face as he drifts to sleep.

_I promise to love you forever as I love you today._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I can't believe this story has finally come to an end. I started posting _Start of Something Good_ in November, and here we are eight months later at the end. I have more of the Winchesters' story in my head, but at this time, I can't promise anything more in this verse. It doesn't mean it's not going to happen, I just don't want to guarantee it in case it never comes. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, and thank you to every one of you who have stuck with me through weekly updates. I can't express how much your compliments, commentary, and love for these characters has driven me to keep going.
> 
> Thank you again to my wonderful betas Becky and Sophia, to Olivia for creating the wedding invitation, and to Mariah for creating the fan art of the proposal. This story never would have been what it is today without all of you.
> 
> I know I'm going to miss this version of Dean, Castiel, and Claire dearly - and I'm sure some of you will, too - but I hope that if you ever think of them from here on out, you imagine them happy and together the way I can promise you they will be until the very end.
> 
> Thank you for all of your support <3


End file.
